by P J Gordon
“Sure. So, what’s on the agenda for today? I think we’ve got most things almost wrapped up. If we don’t have anything new coming in, why don’t you take the afternoon off and let me cover? You look like you could still use some more sleep.”
“We’ll see,” Manda replied noncommittally. She didn’t relish the idea of an afternoon at home alone, actually. She would prefer to stay at work and keep occupied.
For the next week she kept herself very occupied. She threw herself feverishly into her work. She accepted several new projects and the pace was hectic, though David refused to let her work late. He threatened to go to Curt and tell him she was working too hard when he couldn’t convince her to leave any other way. She came in especially early every day though, and insisted on working through her lunches. When the weekend arrived, she spent all day Saturday and Sunday shopping for Christmas gifts for her friends and family. She found several books that she knew David would like and a cashmere sweater that would look beautiful on Stacey. She shopped until she was exhausted, and bought more than she should have for Katie and Robbie, as well as Emily and Andy.
Manda ran into Josh several times before work. On Monday he’d been waiting for her in the plaza, bundled up against the morning cold. He’d convinced her, with his pleading blue eyes, to let him buy her a cup of tea at the diner. As much as she wanted to, Manda didn’t ask about Richard, and Josh didn’t volunteer any information. Their conversation was pleasant and inconsequential. Josh was his usual spontaneous, friendly self and they soon settled into a routine. Though he no longer seemed to feel comfortable spending his days in the office, every other morning or so Josh would meet up with her and they would have breakfast at the diner—Mikey even came along once—but, in an unspoken accord, no one ever mentioned Richard.
When Manda was able to stay busy she was able to keep her thoughts off of him—mostly. The evenings were another story though. She almost called David’s bluff about tattling to Curt if she tried to work late, but she wasn’t convinced it really was a bluff. Instead she tried to fill the hours between work and bed as best she could—cooking, cleaning, catching up on her household to-do list—but all too soon there always came the time when she had run out of things to distract her, and thoughts of Richard would creep in. She missed him. She missed his dazzling smile and his startling blue eyes. She missed his warm laugh. Mostly she missed talking to him. He had been so easy to talk to.
On Friday night she built a fire in the fireplace on her patio. She couldn’t bring herself to join Josh, David, and Stacey for the evening and she missed her Friday nights with Katie and Robbie. They would have provided a welcome diversion, but she didn’t want to explain to Emily why she was avoiding her friends.
The evening was cold but the night sky was beautiful and clear, and she pulled her chair close to the roaring flames and cuddled up under a warm blanket. The neighbor’s dog had been restless all night and she shushed his barking once more. He probably had a mouse cornered in a drain spout again. He was a huge dog, but gentle as a teddy bear. He didn’t bark often, only when something had him worked up…or occasionally when he chased a field mouse into a tight spot. She appreciated the warning he provided against potential prowlers, but she hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary tonight. Distracted by the generally well-behaved dog’s agitation, she was startled by the large and unfamiliar dog that edged out of the deep shadows surrounding the circle of firelight on her patio.
Manda gasped in surprise when she noticed him sitting in the flickering glow. It was a large, wolfish dog, with thick, silvery-gray fur and white on his face and throat. His brown eyes shone in the firelight as he sat watching her with his head cocked to one side.
“How did you get in here?” Manda asked, startled. “Aren’t you a pretty dog,” she continued in a soothing voice. She held out her hand toward the dog, palm down. “Come here, boy. Do you live around here?”
The dog watched her, but didn’t move.
“Are you friendly?” she asked in a soft, coaxing tone. The dog wagged his tail but still remained where he was. “Okay. You don’t have to come over here if you don’t want to. Feel free to enjoy the fire anyway.” Manda settled back into her chair again, stretching her hands toward the warmth of the flames and watching her visitor out of the corner of her eye. Before long, the dog was laying in half-shadow, watching her intently.
For almost two hours Manda and the dog sat by the fire watching each other. She welcomed the distraction provided by her unexpected visitor. Finally, when her eyelids were growing heavy, she stood, wrapped in the blanket, and stretched.
“I think I’ll go to bed now. Time for you to go.” The dog sat up and regarded her with his brown eyes. She walked toward the gate, giving him plenty of room and trying not to startle him. Her assumption was that he had jumped the fence...until she rounded the corner of her house and saw the gate unlatched.
“How did that get open?” she muttered in annoyance. “Well, that explains how you got in, anyway.” She watched the dog trot past her and out, then she fastened the gate.
She went upstairs, hoping she was tired enough to fall asleep immediately. She wasn’t. She lay in bed missing Richard for far too long, and when she finally did find sleep, dreams of him followed her.
After shopping again all day on Saturday, Manda went to dinner with Emily, Andy, and the kids. Katie asked her if she’d seen Josh lately, and Manda answered honestly that she’d had breakfast with him a couple of times that week. Emily noticed that she didn’t mention Richard, but when she asked about him Manda simply said that he’d been called out of town. Sensing that Manda didn’t want to talk about it, Emily didn’t pursue the subject any further.
By the time Manda got home it was late and she went right to bed. On Sunday evening, after another day of shopping, she stopped and picked up Chinese take-out and ate in front of the fire on the patio. It was a warmer evening, though still chilly. She was almost finished with her dinner when the rattle of the gate latch startled her. Alarmed, she very quietly put down her plate and picked up the fireplace poker, then crept carefully to the corner of the house and peaked around it toward the gate. Her heart was pounding nervously. No one should be prowling around her house at this time of night.
Manda laughed in surprise and relief when she saw the silver shape of the dog through the slats in the fence. He bumped up the latch with his nose and trotted through when the gate swung open.
“So it was you!” she chuckled, sagging against the corner of the house. “Aren’t you clever! Well, come on back. The fire is nice and warm.” She returned to her chair, setting the poker down on the ground and pulling the blanket back up over her lap. The dog followed her, lying down on the opposite side of the fire from her chair. “Are you hungry? I don’t like egg rolls, so you can have mine if you want it,” Manda said, speaking in a soothing, friendly voice and extending the egg roll in question toward the dog. She didn’t know if dogs liked egg rolls, but she wanted to gain his trust so she could check for a collar and tags. He cocked his ears toward her with an expression that she could only describe as a grin, but he continued to keep his distance.
Every night after that the dog returned, each night sitting a little closer to the fire. After several nights he was close enough to her that she was able to get a good look at him in the firelight. His coat was smooth and glossy and he appeared well fed.
“Well, you can’t be a stray. You’re too well cared for. Does your owner know you’re sneaking out at night?” He still wouldn’t come near her, and since he didn’t seem to be lost, she gave up on trying to get close.
Manda viewed his nightly visits as a welcome diversion but by Thursday evening the dog’s presence had become routine and was no longer enough to distract her from thoughts of Richard. As she gazed into the flames she was overwhelmed by the sadness that had shadowed her since his departure; it wasn’t fair that she should miss him so much after knowing him such a short time.
Manda didn’t
even realize that the dog had approached until she felt the brush of his fur against her skin. He nuzzled her hand and then put one paw on her leg. As she looked down into his brown eyes a teardrop dripped off of her chin onto the fur of his paw. He whined softly, as if in sympathy, and on cue the floodgate opened on Manda’s tears. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her furry companion, burying her face in his thick coat and crying quietly.
By the time the tears eventually spent themselves, the fire had died down to glowing coals and the night was cold. She wiped her eyes with the edge of her blanket and scratched the dog behind the ears. “Thanks for the shoulder to cry on,” she said, with a short, unsteady laugh, “but I guess you’d better get home. It’s getting cold and the fire’s about gone. I’d invite you in, but somebody would probably miss you.” She walked to the gate and the dog followed on her heels, trotting out hesitantly when she opened it. He looked back at her as she closed it behind him, and when she glanced out her bedroom window a short time later, she could just make out his gray outline sitting in the shadows of the house across the street.
“Well, I guess you have enough fur to keep you warm,” she sighed. He would go home if he got cold enough. Manda slipped into bed and quickly into sleep, where dreams of Richard once again waited for her.
Chapter 14
Manda didn’t see Josh the next morning. She got to the office well before David arrived and quickly buried herself in work. In addition to the Raines project, she had projects for a number of other clients that needed her attention. At David’s insistence, she had allowed him to take the lion’s share of work over the last week, but that still left plenty to keep her busy—which was just as well, since it didn’t leave her any time to indulge in self-pity.
When David arrived he leaned against the frame of her office door, holding a cup of coffee.
“I just saw Curt. He wants to see you in his office right away,” he told her, grimacing.
Manda sighed. “Was it a good ‘send Manda’ or a bad ‘send Manda?’” she asked.
“You tell me,” he answered with a shrug.
“Okay. Thanks, David.” She saved what she was working on and took the stairs down a floor to Curt’s office. His door was closed and she heard Jen’s voice coming from inside, so she knocked and waited for his invitation before entering.
Manda took one step into the office and froze. Richard was seated in the chair in front of Curt’s desk. Before she had time to completely absorb the shock of seeing him again, Curt launched into his reason for summoning her.
“Manda,” Curt addressed her brusquely, skipping all pleasantries, “I’m told by both Jen and David that you’ve been working too hard. Richard has expressed his concern as well. Looking at you, I can see that they’re probably right. You look like hell.”
“Traitors,” Manda muttered under her breath, glaring at Jen, who stood beside Curt’s desk with her arms crossed. Manda didn’t look at Richard.
“They’re your friends, Manda,” Curt scolded, “and they see that you don’t know when to quit. So, I’ve decided you’re taking the day off. I want you to relax this weekend. I’d prefer you took all next week off too, but I suppose that’s too much to hope for, so if you can’t stay away, you can come in and work mornings next week, but you’ll take every afternoon off at least. David assures me he can handle the workload alone for a while. Just so we’re clear on this, that means you’ll leave your computer here. I don’t want you going home and working from there. Is that understood?” Curt gave her a stern look.
“Yes. Understood,” Manda responded grudgingly, too distracted by Richard’s presence to argue. It probably wouldn’t have done any good anyway. Her pulse was racing with Richard so close, but she still didn’t look in his direction. Her emotions were a confused mess. She was excited and foolishly glad to see him, but at the same time she was angry and nervous. It was clear that she didn’t mean anything special to him. He hadn’t even considered her important enough to say goodbye to, yet he’d had the nerve to run tattling to Curt about her. Still, even with all of that, she was perversely pleased to see him again.
“Good. Now, go get your things and go home,” Curt ordered.
“Sorry, Manda,” Jen said, sheepishly.
“It’s okay,” Manda assured her. “I know I’ve been pushing it. Thanks for the concern.” She offered the other woman a small smile, then turned to Richard, steeling herself. “It’s good to see you again, Richard. Are you in town for long?” She was pleased with the nonchalant tone she achieved. She hadn’t been sure she could pull it off.
“That depends,” he said, staring intently into her eyes. “May I speak to you, please? We’re done here, aren’t we, Curt?”
“Of course, but maybe you could discuss whatever it is with David?” Curt responded with a puzzled frown. “I really do want Manda to take today off.”
“This isn’t about business. I promise,” Richard told the older man, not taking his eyes from Manda’s. “Manda? Do you have a few minutes?”
Manda laughed humorlessly. “Sure. I guess I’ve got all day now. I’ll see you guys later,” she told Curt and Jen, then turned and walked out the door with Richard close behind.
“What can I do for you?” Manda asked when they were several yards down the corridor. She slipped her hands into the front pockets of her jeans to hide their nervous fidgeting.
“I’d like to talk to you in private, if you don’t mind,” Richard requested.
“Okay. We’ll go up to my office.” Manda led him to the stairwell. If this is going to be the “let’s just be friends” speech, he’s a little too late, she thought. Perhaps he was concerned about how Josh was handling the work for the foundation. No, he’d said it wasn’t business. She’d been alone with Josh more since Richard had left. Maybe he thought there was a relationship developing there and was concerned. The first time they’d met he had said he thought Josh was interested, but Josh had never been more than friendly since then. Possibilities swirled through Manda’s mind as she led the way up the stairs with her stomach tied in knots. She was halfway up the first flight, a step or two above him, when Richard’s hands closed around her upper arms, halting her mid-step. She half-turned, looking back at him over her shoulder with a startled “What?” already forming on her lips. The word died there, however; smothered when his lips covered hers in a gentle, probing kiss.
Stunned, Manda froze, her mind going blank in shock, but as his lips moved against hers, seductive and electrifying, her eyes fluttered closed and she returned his kiss almost involuntarily. With her head spinning, she swayed slightly and he pulled her firmly against his chest. When he finally drew away from her, his breathing was ragged and Manda was trembling slightly.
If her feelings had been a confused mess before, they were a hopelessly indecipherable tangle now. Richard had never been more than friendly to her; never given her any indication of romantic interest at all—in spite of any wishful imaginings she may have had to the contrary. Then, when she’d come to think that they were at least friends, he’d disappeared without a word. Now, suddenly, he’d come back and told Curt he was worried about her. And this—a kiss.
Manda stood numb and dazed on the stairs, unable to make sense of Richard’s behavior. He turned her around by her shoulders and gently pushed her down to sit on a step, seating himself on the step below her.
“I’m sorry, Manda,” he said unsteadily. Was he apologizing for kissing her? Noticing her slight frown and seeming to read her mind, he shook his head. “Not for the kiss. I’ve wanted to do that since the first time we met; I just didn’t realize it for a long time.” He took several steadying breaths and continued. “I’m sorry for leaving the way I did.”
Manda swallowed. “I’m not your keeper. You don’t owe me any explanations.”
“No, you’re not my keeper, but I do owe you an explanation. I care for you a great deal, and it was wrong of me to just disappear like that. Please forgive me.” He pushed his r
ight hand through his hair absently. “I didn’t realize...I thought...” He exhaled in frustration before collecting himself and beginning again. “Being close to me isn’t an easy thing, Manda. Any woman I become involved with will be on the receiving end of a great deal of unpleasant attention.” A bleak look flitted across his face and was quickly gone. “The media will be merciless. You’re a very private person and I didn’t want to put you through that.” Richard was looking into her eyes intently again.
“So, you left to protect me?” Manda asked dubiously.
“Yes,” he confirmed without hesitation, “and I thought a clean break would be best. I had all the best intentions, but you know what they say. The road to hell and all.”
“So, why did you come back?” Manda asked, wary of where this was leading. He’d said he was sorry for leaving the way he had, not that he was sorry for leaving at all. Perhaps he was just here to say goodbye properly.
Richard answered with a grimace. “I came to my senses. Josh told me I was being stupid but at first I refused to listen, and so he’s been badgering me every day. Last night I finally realized how wrong I was. It’s not really my decision to make, is it?”
“What decision?” Manda asked, confused.
“The decision about whether you want to spend time with me or not. You’re very special to me, Manda. I care for you and I hope that maybe you feel something for me, too. If you don’t, or if you don’t want to endure the constant attention, I understand. But I’m going to let you make that call. I’m sorry I tried to make it for you.” He held her gaze as he spoke, then dropped his eyes and ran his hand through his hair again in agitation. “I’ve missed you,” he admitted in a whisper.
Manda sat frozen, not sure if she was hearing what she hoped she was hearing. “I’m sorry if I’m being dense, but what is it that you’re saying, exactly?” she asked cautiously.
He gave a short, self-deprecating laugh. “I guess I’m not doing this very well. I’m asking for your forgiveness, and I’m asking you if you’ll...I don’t know...go out with me...be my girlfriend.” He shrugged helplessly. “That all sounds so trivial. I don’t know what to call it. All I know is I’m happy when I’m with you and I’d like to be with you a lot more, if you’ll have me.” He gathered both of her hands in his.