“It probably could have been saved if she’d have killed it when she saw the smoke. But I’ll never tell her that. She’d feel terrible if she knew. And she’s under so much stress now I’m just not willing to lay that on her.”
“Where is she now?”
“She’s in the back bedroom. One of the girls had a nightmare and she went in there to comfort them. I peeked in a little while later, and the poor thing passed out. Right there in bed with them. The three of them, peacefully sleeping, like they didn’t have a care in the world.”
“What’s the situation in San Antonio? Are things getting better?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to say. The violence has gotten better. The CDC was here yesterday. They showed up in a helicopter, of all things. I don’t know how in the hell they got it running, but they swooped in and asked who was in charge. We took them to the mayor’s office, and they said their next big concern is the spread of disease. From all the decomposing bodies. They’ve got us wearing masks now, like surgeons wear in hospitals. Any time we’re outdoors. And they’re saying that the sooner we burn the bodies the better.
“I don’t know if you’re close enough to the city to smell the smoke, Scott. But let me tell you, it’s terrible. The smell of burning bodies. It permeates everything. It even gets in your clothes and hangs around long after the fires are out. And the fires are everywhere. The bodies are piling up so fast that we’re not taking them to the high school parking lots anymore. We’re just dragging them into the nearest street and piling them up. Then we’re soaking them in diesel fuel and setting them ablaze. When we come by the next day and notice the fire’s gone out, we douse them again and restart the fire. And we keep doing that until they’re reduced to a pile of bones.
“That’s what we’ve turned into, Scott. A city of abandoned cars and piles of bones.”
Scott’s heart quite literally hurt. He was glad he was wearing his headset, so that the others in the room couldn’t hear what he was hearing.
“Most of the large cities have reestablished radio contact now. We communicate with Dallas and Houston and Lubbock Police on a regular basis. The same situation is happening everywhere in Texas, and pretty much all over the country. Agricultural areas have it better than most. The Lubbock PD told me yesterday that most of the farmers up there have their equipment running well enough to grow crops, and they’re growing wheat and corn and other things that grow quickly to provide food for the survivors. They’re worried about growing enough to get them through the winter, though.
“As for us down here, San Antonio isn’t exactly known for its agriculture. We’ve emptied out all the seed stores in the area and are trying to distribute them among the neighborhoods. We’re taking big fifty pound sacks of corn and wheat seeds and breaking them down into one pound baggies. And we’re going block by block now. We’re giving each block the choice between wheat or corn, but not both.
“We’re telling them to get shovels and dig up all their front yards. Dig them up and loosen the soil, and try to get all of the grass out. And to toss the grass aside, and then redig the soil, and get more grass out. We’re telling them that it’s essential they remove as much of the grass roots as possible, before they plant their crops. And then once they have the grass out, to fill their front yards with corn or wheat.”
“Will that be enough to feed them?”
“In theory it will. Most of the blocks are pretty decimated. The dead outnumber the survivors. On most blocks there are no more than five or ten people left alive. If they can work together and plant crops on every front yard on the block, it should produce enough food to keep them alive until the next year’s harvest.
“At least that’s the general plan. The scientists at the college are saying we’re getting pretty close to the sustainability point. That’s the level where the amount of food we can grow is equal to or greater than the number of people left alive. They say that once we get to that point, we’ll stabilize. Provided we can avoid a plague from the decomposing bodies, that is…”
“You and Hannah… do you plan to stay there?”
“We’re hoping to ride out the storm. I mean, the worst of it is over now. And we’ve still got our food stores. It’ll keep us fed until the crops come in. Hannah is sneaking some of it out to share with some of the neighbors. She thinks I don’t know, and she’s trying to keep it a secret because she thinks I’ll be upset about it. But I think she’s a saint for doing so.
“She’s also volunteered to head up our block committee. She’s coordinating all the efforts in the yards, getting them all dug up. We’re all tired all the time and weak from malnutrition, but we’re doing the best we can. Even when I come off a twelve hour shift and I’m exhausted, she’s got me out there digging for an hour. She says I have to help her set the example.
“And I have to say, yesterday when I was out there with the neighbors, I saw something I haven’t seen in awhile. I saw hope in some of their eyes. Some of them are starting to believe that we can lick this thing. That they can survive.”
“How much longer did your scientists say before you get to your… what did they call it?”
“Our sustainability point. The point where we can grow enough crops to keep our population alive. They say for San Antonio the magic number is about a hundred thousand people or so. And at the rate they’re dying, they estimate we’ll be there very soon. That’s sad, because we had just over two million people on our last census. I know that nearly all of our friends are gone. All of Hannah’s brothers and their families. Suicides, mostly. It’s a dreadful situation, Scott. Be glad you got out when you did.
“And fall to your knees and praise God that you’ve still got your children. That’s what I do each and every night.”
-21-
“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”
“You’re welcome. But I can’t take credit for it. I stole it from Mom’s flower garden. It’s the only thing in this whole place that’s as pretty as you.”
Sara blushed.
“Thank you. That’s sweet. And that’s why I love you so much. You’re so tender and gentle and wonderful. Nothing at all like…”
She regretted the words as soon as she’d said them. She saw a strange look on his face, but he didn’t say anything. She hoped he wouldn’t. She hoped he’d just let it drop.
He took the single yellow rose from her hand and placed it in her hair. But her hair wasn’t thick enough to hold it into place and it fell into her lap.
“Oops. Sorry.”
He tried again.
And it fell a second time.
“I don’t think it’ll stay in my hair without a pin.”
“Oh. Okay. I guess there’s still a lot of things I need to learn about having a girlfriend.”
“I think you’re doing just fine.”
They were sitting in the grass in the back yard, watching her bunnies frolic. She had a habit of taking Monica and Chelsea out of their cage every afternoon so they could eat some of the fresh grass and get their exercise. It was always an adventure when it came time to pick them up and put them back in the cage. She and Jordan sometimes had to chase them through the garden and around the yard for several minutes before they finally cornered and caught them.
But they had a blast doing it.
“Sara…”
“Yes?”
“A minute ago you said something about others not being gentle…”
This was it. This was what she’d been fearing for a long time. She almost told him to shush. That she didn’t want to talk about it. But he deserved to know the truth. It was starting to become more and more obvious that this was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with.
He had a right to know about her past.
“Go ahead. Ask your question.”
“A while back, that first night I came to your room and laid with you. Do you remember, you were crying and I came in to comfort you?”
“Are you seriously asking m
e if I remember that night? It was one of the most amazing nights of my life. It started out so bad, and you turned it around and made it so very wonderful. And you think I could ever possibly forget that night? Sheesh. You really do have a lot to learn about girls.”
Jordan felt sheepish. He thought he was being scolded, until he saw the smile on her face. She was teasing him.
He cleared his throat and went on.
“Anyway… I know I was clumsy and didn’t really know what I was doing, and I’m sorry if I wasn’t gentle or anything.”
“Hush. You were wonderful. And you were amazing for a rookie.”
“No, that’s not what I wanted to ask you. But thank you.”
He smiled before going on, and she held her breath. Here it comes, she thought.
“This might not be any of my business, and if you don’t want to answer I’ll understand. But that night was the first time I ever… did that thing. I think you could probably tell that.”
“Yes…”
“Anyway, I had been looking forward to my first time for a long time. Preparing myself for it in my mind, I guess, so I could do it right. I paid attention in all the biology and sex ed classes so I knew how to do it without hurting you too much and such. But, well… it just wasn’t what I expected.”
She could tell he was struggling to find the right words. And her instincts told her that, despite it being an uncomfortable subject for her, that she should help him.
“You expected it to cause me pain and be bloody.”
“Well, yes. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I was dreading that part, because I didn’t want to hurt you in any way. So I was glad that you were able to… do it without pain.
“But I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me wonder. And then you made that comment a few minutes ago…”
She felt bad for him. He was trying so hard to find words that would answer his questions without hurting her.
She put her finger to his lips to stop him. Then she drew a deep breath.
“This is very hard for me. But it’s something you need to know. Because it’s part of my past, and a very big part of my life and why I’m the emotional wreck I am sometimes. It may make you hate me, but you need to know.”
“I could never hate you. Never. No matter what you’re going to say.”
She smiled. He was so sweet.
“I was not a virgin that night. You already knew that, or at least suspected it. But it’s not what you think.”
She drew another breath before she went on. This was going to be harder than she thought.
“When I said that I left a note for my parents, to tell them I was going with you… I lied. But I swear, it’s the only time I’ve ever lied to you. I promise.”
“But… I saw the letter.”
“No, you saw an empty envelope that I said had a letter in it. But it didn’t. I left behind an empty envelope with their names on it.”
“But why?”
“Because the last thing in the world I wanted was for them to know where I went. To find me. This… electronic thing that caused so much damage to the world is a terrible thing. But to me, it also presented something I’d been praying for, for a very long time. It finally gave me a chance to escape.”
She paused, and a tear fell from her left eye. He reached over and wiped it with his thumb. But he didn’t interrupt her. He’d wait patiently while she found the words she was looking for.
“I haven’t seen my father- my real father, since the day I started kindergarten. I remember being so excited that day. Mom and Dad dropped me off, and walked me into the school and to my classroom. They spoke to my teacher and then asked me twenty times if I was okay to be left alone with the teacher. But I was excited. I said, ‘heck yeah!’
“I think leaving me there was harder on them than it was on me.
“Mom picked me up that afternoon. I remember being so excited, and talking nonstop all the way home. I had so much to share about my first day, and I couldn’t wait to share it all with my Daddy when I got home.
“But Daddy wasn’t there. Mom wouldn’t tell me where he went. She just said that he decided he didn’t love us anymore and no longer wanted to live with us. I remember going from so happy to so sad. I cried myself to sleep that night and couldn’t figure out what I did to make my Daddy hate me.
“To this day, I don’t know where my father is. Mom told me once that he died in prison. But then another time, later on, she said he was living up north somewhere. So I don’t know if he’s dead, or just doesn’t want anything to do with me. And I still don’t know what I did to make him not love me any more.”
She stopped. The tears started to flow freely now, and Jordan reached out and held her.
Linda and Joyce watched from the kitchen window. It was obvious to them that the discussion was serious, but they respected the kids enough to not interfere.
“You don’t have to say any more, baby. It doesn’t matter. I still love you and always will.”
For a full thirty seconds there was dead silence between them. He wiped her tears when they fell, and ran his fingers through her long chestnut hair.
“No. You need to know this. It’s a big part of me.”
More silence.
“A couple of years ago my mother and I argued. I called her a tramp. She didn’t say anything, but she looked hurt. Then she just turned and walked out of the room. I felt very bad, and I apologized the next day.
“But then I got to thinking, and despite how the word hurt her, I honestly couldn’t come up with a different word that described the type of life she was living. Does that make me a hateful bitch?”
“No, baby. Not at all.”
“She’s an alcoholic. I don’t know if I ever told you that. She’s always gone on these drinking binges occasionally. They really caused her problems. She got arrested three times for driving drunk and kept getting fired from jobs.
“Finally she just quit working altogether. She found a better way to pay the bills. In the years after that she found a steady stream of scumbags who would move in with us for a few months and pay our bills and buy our food for us. Then one by one, she’d get drunk and fight with them and then they’d get pissed off and leave. But within a few days, she’d always bring home another one.
“Then, three years ago, she found Jesse. I thought Jesse was different. He didn’t do drugs, and he didn’t ride a motorcycle. He was a businessman, and I guess a successful one. He put money down on a house and made the mortgage payments, and we finally had a home we could call our own. We finally had nice furniture and nice cars and nice clothes.
“And with Jesse, he didn’t mind when Mom got mad at him and got drunk and called him names. Even when she told him to get the hell out, he just let it go in one ear and out the other.”
“So that’s good. She finally found a guy who loved her enough to stay.”
Sara laughed. But it wasn’t a happy laugh. It was more a laugh of irony. Like she knew the punch line to a joke that no one else knew.
“No. You don’t understand. He didn’t stay for her. He stayed for me.
“The first time I was alone with Jesse was about a month into their relationship. He told her he’d cook steaks for dinner, if she would go to the grocery store and get stuff for a fresh salad. He said he’d babysit me while she was gone.
“He molested me. Made me do things I didn’t want to do. And he told me that if I said anything to her, he’d snap my neck like a twig.
“It got worse from there. He would actually encourage my mom to get drunk. Even though he knew she was an alcoholic. He’d push drinks on her, saying ‘here, try this new cocktail I heard about,’ or ‘one more won’t hurt you.’
“And two or three times a week he’d get her to drink so much that she’d pass out cold. And then he’d make me take a bath with him, or even worse.
“He finally took my virginity a year or so ago. And once he passed that point, he wouldn’t stop. He tried to make her pass
out almost every night. And he would brutalize me for hours in my bed.”
Jordan finally found his tongue.
“Oh, my God! Why didn’t you tell your mom?”
“I finally found the courage to. I was terrified that she’d tell him, and he’d carry out his threats to kill me. But she told me never to say anything. I think she had already known for a very long time.
“She forbade me from telling anyone. She said the reason we had nice things and a nice house was because of Jesse. And if I told anyone they’d put him in jail, and we’d lose everything. And we’d be homeless and living in a car somewhere.
“Lately, it was happening with her consent. He’d make a pass at her and she’d say she wasn’t in the mood, and she’d make me go to him instead. And she’d cook dinner or watch her shows while Jesse was abusing me in the next room, and she didn’t give a damn. She’d even turn up the television to cover up the noise.
“I learned a long time ago how to escape it in my mind. I’d try to remember Bible verses or fairy tales from when I was little, or all the words to a song. Anything I could think of, so I wouldn’t have to think of what was going on at the time.”
She pushed back from Jordan and looked him in the eyes, as though to reveal a great secret.
“But here’s the thing. I never had the chance to escape for real, physically, until that day the electronic thing hit and all the power went out. It was a terrible thing for the whole world. But it was also my one chance for freedom.
“And I damn sure wasn’t going to give them the chance to come and find me. For things to go back the way they were. That’s why I lied to you. I’m sorry.”
For a full minute he didn’t know what to say. So he just held her close while she sobbed into his shoulder.
Then he whispered, “I’ll promise you this. I will never let anyone hurt you again. And if Jesse ever shows his face around here looking for you, I will tear him apart with my bare hands.”
-22-
It was seventy five days since they’d started planting the corn in the one acre field north of the compound. According to the planting schedule that came with the seed, that meant it was time to harvest.
AFTER THE DUST SETTLED (Countdown to Armageddon Book 2) Page 8