“Yes, but you’re beating yourself up because it happened.”
“No, I’ve regrouped on that, remember? I said I’d keep our night separate and apart from everything else. I think—no, I’m certain—that I can continue to do exactly that.”
Deedee yanked her hand free and folded her arms over her breasts. She glared at Ryan.
“So you can have great sex whenever the mood strikes?” she said. “Not in this lifetime, bub. I don’t have casual sex, Ryan MacAllister, and if that’s where your head is, count me out.
“Last night was special, rare, wonderful. It meant a lot to me. You’re not a stranger off the street—you’re someone I know and care about. I don’t love you, have no intention of falling in love with you, but I do care about you.”
“Well, hell, Deedee, if I didn’t care about you as a person, a woman, a friend, I wouldn’t have gone to all the trouble to con you into reevaluating your life.”
“You’ve got a point there.”
“You bet I do. To echo…I don’t love you, have no intention of falling in love with you, but I do care about you.”
“You said the word friend before.”
He nodded. “It applies.”
“Friends,” she said, squinting at the ceiling, “and lovers. Mmm. It has possibilities.” She looked at him again. “Ryan, what if we agreed to be friends and lovers? No commitments to the future, no false declarations of feelings that aren’t there.
“The whole evening we spent together was lovely—dinner, dancing, sharing, talking, then…then making love.”
“True. Go on.”
“Well, we’re mature adults. Why can’t we set the boundaries as we know them and which match perfectly? Why can’t we be friends and lovers? Nothing more.”
Ryan thudded his coffee mug onto the nightstand, got to his feet, then began to pace the floor, one hand hooked over the back of his neck.
Damn, this was.confusing, he thought. He was supposed to be getting Deedee out of his system, not agreeing to a proposal that would keep her in it.
Friends and lovers. Well, maybe…Hell, why not? There was no duplicity going on, everything was up front and honest.
He and Deedee cared enough about each other to make it more than just casual sex. But neither one of them had any intention of falling in love with the other. If a person made up their mind not to fall in love, then they didn’t fall in love. It was a matter of having a firm mind-set, and a grip on reality.
It would be nice to have a social life, something to look forward to after a dull, boring day at MacAllister Security Systems. And heaven knew that he and Deedee were terrific together in bed.
Friends and lovers.
“Mmm,” he said, continuing to pace.
Deedee watched him, her mind whirling.
Friends and lovers? she thought. Was that a bizarre thing to have proposed? Well, no, not really. It made sense, was custom-tailored for her and Ryan. She did not want to fall in love and get married again. Her focus was, and would remain, on Books and Books.
And Ryan? Even if he managed to keep what they shared separate and apart from the sifting and sorting he needed to do about his life, surely some of the time they spent together would influence his thinking on not staying in the past. He wouldn’t fall in love with her, nor did she wish him to, but he just might become free enough to eventually love someone else.
Love someone else? Make love to another woman, the way he’d made love to her? Perhaps fall in love, marry and have a child with that woman?
Why did those thoughts cause a cold fist to tighten in her stomach? Why did the image in Deedee’s mind of Ryan with another woman cause her to feel empty, lonely, filled with a hollow sense of despair?
Enough, Deedee, she ordered herself. She was still bordering on emotional overload from all that had transpired. She would be happy for Ryan if he found love again, embraced it, married and had a family. Of course, she would. In the meantime they’d be…
Friends and lovers.
Yes.
Ryan stopped his trek and looked at her.
“Yes,” he said. “It’ll work. We’ll make it work.”
“Oh, well, fine, that’s fine.” She smiled. “Should we shake hands on it, or something?”
“Or something,” he said, starting slowly toward her.
Deedee’s eyes widened as she watched him approach, seeing the stark desire suddenly evident in the smoky brown depths of his eyes. A shiver coursed through her, and a sense of tantalizing anticipation. It was quickly followed by the now-familiar heat that thrummed low and hot.
Friends and lovers? her mind echoed. Oh, yes, yes, yes!
Ryan sat down on the edge of the bed and looked directly into Deedee’s eyes, seeking and finding an affirmation of what he needed to know.
Deedee wanted him, just as he wanted her. They didn’t have to discuss it, he knew, because they made no attempt to hide their desire, their raging passion. They were so open and honest with each other now, with no more hidden agendas. They’d talked, shared, communicated, and everything was aboveboard and real.
There was no need to feel guilty, to be plagued with remorse for not staying true to his vow to Sherry. What he and Deedee had agreed upon was very different. It was unusual, but suited them both to perfection. It involved only the two of them, excluding all and everything else.
Friends and lovers.
Yeah, it was good.
“I think,” he said, his voice low and rumbly, “that I’ll reclaim my shirt.”
He reached forward and slid the first button free, his fingers caressing Deedee’s soft, warm skin beneath the material.
“Do you…” she started, her voice unsteady, “want me to go iron it?”
“No-o-o,” he said slowly, “that won’t be necessary.” One hand moved to cup one of her breasts. She trembled. “What’s a few wrinkles between friends?” His thumb stroked the nipple of her breast to a taut bud. “Right?”
“Oh-h-h,” she said, closing her eyes for a moment to savor the exquisite sensations rushing through her. “Right. That is…that is so right.”
He pulled the shirt free of the sheet and blanket, undid the remaining buttons, then brushed the material back to reveal her breasts to his smoldering gaze.
Planting his hands flat on either side of her hips, he leaned forward, drawing the lush flesh of one breast into his mouth, suckling, flicking the nipple with his tongue.
A soft sigh of pure feminine pleasure whispered from Deedee’s lips.
He moved to the other breast, drinking of its sweetness, as one hand skimmed over her hip, down the side of her leg, then came to rest at the apex of her thighs.
“Oh, Ryan, please.”
In a blur of motion, he shed his trousers, threw the bedclothes to the foot of the bed, then lifted Deedee from the pillows to lay flat on the field of lovely, pastel butterflies. He covered her with his naked body, claiming her mouth in a searing kiss.
He entered her with one deep, powerful thrust, filling her, consuming her and her senses. She welcomed him, eagerly receiving all that he was bringing to her.
And they danced.
Chapter Ten
Ryan finally left Deedee’s apartment, complete with wrinkled shirt covered by his suit jacket. Deedee showered, dressed, nibbled on a piece of toast, then began to clean the apartment, per her usual Saturday routine.
Much to her annoyance, she realized she’d vacuumed the living room, bedroom, then had turned right around and thoroughly vacuumed the living room again.
She smacked the off switch on the vacuum cleaner, then slouched onto the sofa with a sigh.
Flapping one hand in front of her face, she frowned. “Go away, Ryan MacAllister. Get out of my brain. I’m trying to do some housework here.”
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan, her mind echoed. Her body was sore in feminine places, but she felt wonderful. She was still acutely aware of every inch of herself, her skin seeming to tingle, her breasts full and womanly.
>
Oh, such exquisite lovemaking she’d shared with Ryan. She’d never experienced anything so beautiful, complete, anything that had caused her to soar to a wondrous place where she’d never been before, a place where she could only go with Ryan.
He was so strong, yet tempered that strength with infinite gentleness, putting her pleasure before his own. He’d discovered the mysteries of her body, just as she’d done with his, savoring it all.
“Friends and lovers,” she said aloud. “Lovers and friends.”
Ryan truly was her friend. He listened, really listened, when she talked to him. He was concerned about her future happiness, had manipulated her into examining her life out of a sense of caring. She knew, just somehow knew, that if she telephoned him in the middle of the night and said she needed him, he’d come, no questions asked.
Yes, he was her friend.
But he was also very, very dangerous.
It would be extremely easy to fall in love with Ryan MacAllister.
And that was not going to happen.
Her existence was constructed exactly the way she wanted it, with her focus on Books and Books. She didn’t really yearn for her own pink rabbit. She could satisfy her maternal instincts when the urge arose by visiting the ever-growing number of MacAllister babies.
Now she even had a man in her life, a friend, who would provide enjoyable social outings where she wouldn’t have to be alert for signs that he was becoming too serious about her or might soon be asking more of her than she was willing to give.
That friend was also her lover, and together they achieved glorious sensual heights beyond her wildest imagination.
“Yes, indeed, everything is perfect,” she said, getting to her feet.
Her relationship with Ryan, within the boundaries they’d mutually agreed upon, was exactly right for him, too. He was giving of himself, caring, slowly emerging from behind his protective walls. He would hopefully become free of the past, and eager to move forward with his life.
“Perfect,” she repeated, grasping the handle of the vacuum.
She started to wrap the cord around the hooks on the machine, then stopped, staring into space.
If everything was perfection personified, she mused, then why did the apartment seem so incredibly empty? Why was she feeling strangely alone and lonely? Why did she miss Ryan MacAllister so darn much, wish he was still there with her?
“Deedee,” she said, “get a grip. You’ll see Ryan when you see him. He’ll pop up…whenever. Fine.”
But, oh, dear heaven, how long would she have to wait before she was able to once again drink in the magnificent sight of Ryan MacAllister?
When Ryan entered his office on Monday morning, he realized that for the first time since he could remember, he was glad to be there. It was not due, however, to a sudden enthusiasm for being the owner of MacAllister Security Systems, and he knew it.
The remainder of Saturday and all day Sunday had dragged by slowly, tediously, causing him to become restless and out of sorts. He’d rejected every idea that came to mind to fill the hours, and the time had hung heavily on his hands.
And it was all Deedee Hamilton’s fault!
Ryan sank onto the chair behind his desk and stared moodily at nothing.
Deedee had hovered in his mind’s eye the entire weekend. She’d been a haunting, taunting presence, a pest. He’d seen her smile, heard her laughter and the womanly purr of pleasure she made when he touched her. He’d actually smelled her delicate, flowery aroma, and vividly recalled the exquisite taste of her velvetsoft skin.
She’d driven him right up the wall, caused him to toss and turn at night as he ached for her, his body hard and hot.
Ryan smacked the top of his desk with the palm of his hand, then swore a blue streak as the pain from the blow shot up his arm.
“Serves you right,” Andrea said, coming into his office. “That’s what you get for desk abuse.” She plopped down in the chair opposite the desk. “A tad grouchy this Monday morning, are we?”
Ryan glared at her. “Don’t you have a kid who needs a diaper changed?”
“Nope. The twins are at day-care this morning, tormenting the other two-year-olds. I’m on my way to MacAllister Architects, Incorporated.”
“Oh, I see. Well, don’t let me keep you. Goodbye, Andrea.”
“Tsk, tsk, Ryan. Did you forget this morning to have that muddy junk you call coffee?”
Ryan leaned back in his chair and sighed. “No, I had plenty of my delicious coffee, thank you very much. I’m just exhausted, that’s all.” He managed a small smile. “Hi, Andrea, how’s life? What’s new and exciting? How’s that? Better?”
“Not much, but I’ll take what I can get.”
“You haven’t come by here in months, little sister. What’s on your mind?”
Andrea shrugged. “I just thought I’d say hello. I haven’t had you all to myself in ages. What do you think about Jillian and Forrest expecting triplets? Isn’t that something?”
Ryan chuckled. “Yeah, it sure is. Man, they are going to be busy beyond belief when those babies arrive. Three of everything. Whew.”
“Three girls, just as Forrest predicted. The way he continually wins The Baby Bet is getting eerie. I swear he can’t be beat, and he’s so darn smug about it.”
“He should be. He’s on a real roll. He deserves to be cocky as hell with his winning record.”
“Yes, I suppose he does.” Andrea paused. “So! How’s Deedee?”
Ryan raised his eyebrows, an expression of pure innocence on his face. “Who?”
“Don’t get cute with me, Ryan MacAllister. A friend of mine—well, actually a friend of my friend—saw you and Deedee out dancing. I think that’s wonderful, and I wanted to tell you how pleased I am that you two went on an official date.”
“Deedee and I are friends,” he said. And lovers. Fantastic lovers. “Read my lips, Andrea. That word is friends.”
“That’s fine,” she said, smiling. “John is my best friend. I’m John’s best friend. Being friends is an important part of a meaningful relationship.”
“Oh, man,” Ryan said, rolling his eyes heavenward, “here we go.”
“No,” Andrea said, suddenly serious, “I’m not planning to pester you for details about your… whatever it is…with Deedee. I just wanted to say to you, privately, how happy I am that you went out socially. It’s a start, Ryan, and it’s long overdue.”
Ryan looked directly at his sister, seeing the gentle love radiating from her brown eyes that were the exact shade of his.
“Yeah, you’re right, it’s overdue,” he said quietly. “Deedee and I had a nice evening, a good time. We’ve talked, Andrea, and neither of us wants anything more than friendship.”
“I understand.” She got to her feet. “I’m glad you discussed it, because I’d hate to see either of you hurt. You’re very special people. So you’ll enjoy social outings together as friends. That’s great. I guess that means you’re both free to date other people. Right?”
“I haven’t thought about it. Why?”
“Oh, another friend of a friend has an attorney cousin she wants Deedee to meet. I guess this guy is a real hunk of stuff, and has megabucks to boot.”
“Whatever,” he said, lifting one shoulder in a shrug.
“Then you don’t mind if I mention the gorgeous lawyer to Deedee?”
“Andrea, I just said that Deedee and I are only friends. I don’t have an exclusive claim on her time. She’s free to go out with whomever she pleases. If she wants to date a sleazy lawyer with pumped-up muscles, who throws money around to impress her, that’s her choice to make.”
Andrea laughed. “You’re getting crabby again, and I’m late for work. Forrest probably won’t even notice what time I arrive. It’s hard to see the clock from up on cloud nine. ‘Bye, sweetheart.” She blew him a kiss and hurried out of the room.
“’Bye,” Ryan said absently.
A megabucks yuppie attorney? his mind echo
ed. No, that didn’t sound like the type of guy Deedee would be interested in going out with. She’d turn him down flat. Wouldn’t she?
Hell, he didn’t care one way or another. Did he? Definitely not. So fine, she’d go out with the smoothtalking lawyer, who would wine and dine her, bring her flowers, kiss her and…
Ryan lunged to his feet.
Kiss her? Touch her? Try to hustle her into bed? He’d tear the creep apart! He’d…
“Oh-h-h,” he moaned, dragging both hands down his face as he sank back onto his chair. “Deedee Hamilton, you’re driving me crazy.”
“Hey, boss,” a man said, poking his head in the office, “the equipment you needed for that deal at the bookstore just arrived.”
“Good. Thanks for telling me.”
“You still planning on doing that job, instead of having me and Jack do it?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because talking to yourself is a definite sign of old age. I just wondered if you could handle the work.”
“Go play in traffic.”
The man hooted with laughter and disappeared.
Ryan glowered at the empty doorway for a moment, then shifted his gaze to the telephone.
He needed to call Deedee and inform her that he was ready to install her new security system, and ask her if she wanted it done during the day, or after the store closed. Yep, he had to get in touch with her right away.
He picked up the receiver and began to punch in numbers he vaguely realized he knew by heart.
What Ryan MacAllister wasn’t aware of was that he was smiling.
* * *
Deedee combed her hair, freshened her lipstick, then practiced three different smiles in the mirror over the sink. In the next moment, she rolled her eyes in self-disgust and left the small bathroom at Books and Books.
Glancing at the clock, she hurried across the room to lock the front door, flipped the sign to Closed, and dropped the bamboo shade into place. She also lowered a shade behind the large front display window.
An automatic timer had turned on several small spotlights to illuminate the arrangements of books in the window, but the shade kept sidewalk browsers from seeing the interior of the store after closing hours.
Friends, Lovers...And Babies! (The Baby Bet #2) Page 12