by Donna Grant
Then he teleported away.
Chapter Twenty-three
So this is what it felt like to have your heart shredded.
Cat blinked, her mind frozen as she stared at where Fintan had been standing. Except . . . he was gone. Probably forever.
There was so much she wanted to say. And he hadn’t let her.
Not that she blamed him. She deserved it after lying to him.
Still, it made her feel like shite. Worse because she thought they had gotten over her betrayal. She should’ve realized that what he’d suffered before would leave scars that never fully healed. And she had added another.
The fact that the other Reapers were staring at her didn’t alleviate her anguish or distress. She tried not to fidget, but it was a habit when she got uncomfortable.
And she had skyrocketed past uneasy and was now in uncharted territory.
“I’m Cael,” said a Fae with long, black hair and silver eyes. “I know Fintan told you about us.”
She nodded and glanced at the female who stood tall and beautiful with her inky hair that was divided into five thick braids from her face to her neck before being gathered into one. She wore skintight black from head to foot and tall black boots that went over her knees. There were gauntlets as well as a leather corset that had several knives poking out.
“I’m Neve,” the Fae said with a smile. Then she looked at the Light beside her. “And this is my Talin.”
Talin wrapped an arm around Neve before he told Cat, “Hello.”
Cael then pointed to the remaining Fae, one a Dark and the other a Light. “That is Kyran and Baylon. Daire was the first to leave.”
“Thank you for all that you did,” Kyran said.
Cat looked down at the dagger in her hand and saw the blood dripping off it. “I think I’d like to go home now.” She raised her eyes. “Unless I can’t. Fintan told me that Death kills any Fae who knows about you.”
“You’re a Halfling,” Cael said.
She wasn’t sure what that meant, and she didn’t ask. She just wanted to go home and soak in the tub to help warm her, though she wasn’t sure that would ever happen now.
Ever since Fintan left, she’d been cold. As if freezing from the inside out.
If only she had Fintan’s arms around her . . .
“Ready?”
Cat blinked to focus her eyes. While her thoughts had been on Fintan, Cael had moved beside her. By his look, this wasn’t the first time he’d asked if she were ready.
“Yes,” she mumbled.
He put his hand on her, and in the next second, she was standing outside her front door. She moved to go inside when his voice stopped her.
“I know you could’ve returned on your own. Why didn’t you?”
Her shoulders sagged as she faced the leader of the Reapers. “I don’t know.”
“I think it’s because you’re not quite ready to see the last of a certain Reaper. We’re your link to Fintan.”
She hastily looked away from Cael’s knowing, silver eyes.
He drew in a deep breath. “Fintan is a unique individual. He’s broken in a lot of ways, but he refused to remain that way. He put his pieces back together, albeit roughly. The only way he could get on with his life was by burying his feelings. Despite that, he is one of the most loyal men I’ve ever known.”
“I lied to him.” Despair and regret rose so quickly that it choked her. “No apology will ever make up for that.”
Cael reached around her and opened the door. “May I?”
She nodded and walked inside with him on her heels. Cat went to the table and set the dagger down before sinking into a chair.
Cael took the seat opposite her. “Fintan has accepted your apology.”
“Then why did he leave?” she asked, confusion gripping her.
“Because of his feelings for you. He suppressed every ounce of emotion in order to get past his betrayals. You made him feel again, and it terrifies him.”
A tear fell down her cheek. Then a second followed. Someone so wonderful and beautiful had come into her life, and she’d ruined it all with a lie.
“I feel like such a fool.” She sniffed, fighting back more tears.
Cael leaned back in the chair with one arm on the table. “The way I see it, you have a couple of choices. One, you can let him go.”
“He left,” she interrupted .
Cael stared at her a long time, his gaze searching, intense. He must have found what he looked for because he said, “Fintan left because his feelings run deep, and he fears losing you.”
She frowned in confusion. Then it dawned on her. “Because I’m mortal.”
“Aye.”
She snorted and shoved her hair out of her face. “I’ve drawn blood from a being that has as much power as Death. Bran will be coming for me.”
“I’m aware of that, and I’ll do what I can to protect you.”
She hadn’t been expecting such an offer after what she’d done to Fintan. “You would do that?”
“Of course.”
She turned her head and looked out the window, hoping for a glimpse of Fintan. “I got so used to seeing Fintan around that it feels wrong not to have him near.”
“I suppose the close proximity brought the two of you together?”
Her gaze slid to Cael. She knew what he was asking, and even though who she took to her bed was her business, she said, “It did. He told me of his past, and I told him of mine.”
Cael’s eyes grew round in surprise. “He spoke of his past?”
“All of it,” she said with a nod.
“He’s never told anyone. Not even me.”
She looked down at her hands and felt the tears coming again. “Did he ever tell you that none of the Fae females would have anything to do with him? They shunned him.” She looked up at Cael. “Him? Of all the Fae. They should’ve been begging for his affection.”
“You showed Fintan a sort of kindness and care he’s never had.”
And it was killing her to know that she might never see him again. She sniffed loudly. “You said I had a couple of options.”
“Yes, but it’ll depend on how badly you want it,” Cael said.
That got her attention. She sat up straighter. “Tell me.”
“Go to him.”
It would give her a chance to say everything she wanted, but there had to be a catch. “Why would you tell me that?”
“I’m doing it for Fintan,” Cael said. “He deserves happiness, but only if you’re sincere. Fintan is the type that once he cuts off his emotions, you’ll likely not get them back again.”
She shoved back the chair and stood. “Then I need to get to him quickly.”
Cael was slower to rise. “I don’t think I need to tell you what I’ll do to you—what all the Reapers will do—if you hurt him. If you’re not positive about this—about him—then don’t do it.”
“If you’re asking if I love him, I’ve already fallen for him. I hate that I didn’t trust him. I miss him so much that my chest aches. It’s as if I have a hole there. I want to be near him, to look into his eyes.”
Cael smiled as he moved aside and pushed in his chair. “Good luck, then.”
“Wait,” she called when he started to turn away. “Aren’t you taking me to him?”
Cael turned back to her with a smile. “You don’t need me, Halfling.”
“Oh.” It was going to take her a while to get used to having magic. Her smile grew as she realized she’d had the power all along to go to Fintan.
Cael had just wanted to make sure she was worthy of his brother. And she hoped she was.
She let thoughts of Fintan fill her mind before she whispered, “I wish I was with Fintan.”
In the next moment, she found herself standing on a beach. About fifty yards ahead of her was Fintan, who stood facing the water and the magnificent sunset.
Cat glanced behind her to see that she was on an isle with a concrete fort. As curious as that w
as, her main focus was Fintan.
She turned back to him. The wind whipped her hair about her face as she started toward him. She walked fast until she was about five feet behind him. Then she lost her nerve.
What if he didn’t want her anymore? What if he could never forgive her? What if he’d already bottled up all his feelings again?
That thought stole her breath. She put a hand over her heart as if she could stop the pain. Now that he’d opened up to her, she wasn’t going to let him sink back into numbness and feeling nothing. She was going to prove to him that she was worthy of him—and that she needed him.
“Fintan.”
He stiffened before slowly looking at her over his shoulder. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you.”
“Go home,” he said and faced the sea once more.
His rejection hurt, but she deserved no less. “I probably should. I know that lying to you was the worst thing I could’ve done, especially after how close we’d become.”
“I don’t blame you for that. You had valid reasons, as I’ve already mentioned.”
Those words should’ve given her hope, but he still wouldn’t look at her. “My grandfather tried to tell me to let him die, but I wanted to save him. I stupidly thought I could outsmart Bran. You warned me, and I didn’t listen. I lost the two most important men in my life today—my grandfather, and you.”
She wiped at the tears that had begun to flow. “You showed me your heart, and I returned the favor with deceit. Humans make mistakes. I made a huge one, but I want to make it up to you.”
Cat waited, hoping he would show some sign that he was listening. But there was nothing. Yet she wasn’t going to give up. “I’ll do whatever you want because I can’t be without you. I don’t want you around for protection, Fintan. I want you because I need you. You see . . . I did something I never expected to do. I fell in love with you.”
She had hoped for a declaration from him also. What she didn’t expect was silence. As if he hadn’t heard a word she’d said.
Cat wiped at her tears. She was too late. He’d already rid himself of his emotions once more. But she couldn’t make herself turn away. To leave would mean she’d given up, and she wasn’t ready for that. Though she didn’t know what else to say that might change his mind. Ever.
The kind of love she felt wasn’t the kind that could be cast aside in a week, a month, a year, or even a decade. It was the kind that lasted an eternity.
She had seen into his soul, and he into hers. That had to count for something.
Determination now driving her, she walked to stand in front of him. When she saw his eyes were closed, she hesitated. Until she saw how fast he was breathing and how his hands were clenched at his sides.
He’d heard every word. And his feelings were still there, which meant she had hope. And she clung to it with everything she had.
“I love you,” she said. “I’ll say it every day for as long as it takes for you to believe me. I love you. I love you. I love you.”
“Stop,” he said through clenched teeth.
She smiled because she’d gotten through to him. “Never. Just as I’ll never stop loving you, touching you, or kissing you.”
His lids lifted, and he looked at her with his red-rimmed white eyes. “Please stop.”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t keep ignoring you.”
She reached up and touched his face. “Would it be so bad to give in?”
“That’s the problem. I already have.”
A laugh of joy bubbled up. She couldn’t stop smiling or crying.
“It’s just that I . . . I’m afraid to say the words,” he said.
She rose up on her tiptoes. “They’ll come in time. I see them in your eyes.”
“Do you?” he asked as his arms came around her, pulling her tightly against him.
“Oh, aye.”
“I don’t know what to do now.”
Her heart ached for everything that he’d missed out on and all the misery he’d been subjected to. She was going to make it her mission to show him the other side of things each and every day.
“Follow your heart. Nothing you can do will be wrong.”
“I’m not so sure of that,” he said uncertainly.
She sank her fingers into the thick locks of his white hair. “You’re a Reaper and a warrior. Trust yourself. Now, what do you want to do?”
“Kiss you.”
Her heart missed a beat as desire curled low in her belly. “I’d like that very much.”
His head lowered, but just before their lips met, he pulled back. “Will you stay with me, Cat? Is that why you came here?”
“I’ll go anywhere with you. I’m here for you.”
His chest rumbled with a groan, then he covered her lips with his and claimed her mouth with a savage, fiery kiss that made her soul shout with joy—and anticipation.
Epilogue
The next day . . .
Love.
She loved him.
Him!
Fintan couldn’t stop staring at Cat. Nor could he believe that she loved him. The words sounded foreign in his head. Perhaps once he got used to them, he might be able to say them.
He leaned against the doorway and watched as Cat looked in awe at one of the books River had been guarding. She asked all sorts of questions. Since the Reapers had returned from the recent battle with Bran, the mood had been light in the compound.
Or maybe it was just the addition of Cat.
Yet, on the fringes was the reminder that Eoghan was still missing.
The entire group sat together in the library, laughing and catching Cat up on everything. It wasn’t long before the conversation turned to the new information about Bran.
Cael suddenly rose to his feet. Fintan turned his head in Cael’s direction, looking for Death. She stood in the arched doorway with her hands clasped together.
Her long, inky black hair was pulled over one shoulder in a fishtail braid that fell alongside one breast. She was dressed in her usual black gown.
This one had a full skirt with deep red tulle layered in. The sleeveless bodice was form-fitting with a pattern of red swirls from her waist to up around her breasts.
Lavender eyes were focused on Cat.
Fintan jumped to his feet and went to stand by Cat, but she touched his hand and gave a soft shake of her head. After meeting Death’s gaze, Cat walked to Erith.
Death lifted her chin. “It seems I owe you a debt, Catriona Hayes.”
“Cat,” she corrected. “And no, you don’t.”
“It’s by your will alone that I’m not dead,” Erith said.
Cat shrugged and said, “It seemed wrong to do as Bran asked. Even if he hadn’t killed my family, I still wouldn’t have done it.”
“You also figured out a great many details that none of us had pieced together,” Death said. “How?”
Cat glanced Fintan’s way and smiled. His chest puffed out. He’d never been prouder of anyone than his woman at that moment.
“When Fintan told me about Bran, I knew he was the kind of man who believed he was smarter than everyone else. It’s why I got him talking. He gave much away then. That’s when I realized his plan was very simple,” Cat said.
Erith blew out a breath. “Simple or not, many have fallen for his tricks. I’m happy to know you weren’t one of them.”
“What does this mean for me?”
Fintan moved to stand with Cat as he looked at Erith. “I’ve no right to ask, but can she be spared?”
“Spared?” Death asked with a quirked brow. “From what?”
Fintan frowned. “From your retribution. I told her about us.”
“You had no choice. Besides, Cat has gone above and beyond for you and the Reapers, but most especially for me. I’ll not sully that by even discussing the matter further.”
Cael walked to stand beside Death. “Welcome to the family, Cat.”
Fintan
was ready to rejoice, but Cat was now frowning. “What is it?” he asked her.
She looked up at him. “If I’m in any way part of the Reapers, then I’m officially in Death’s army.”
“And?” Fintan wasn’t sure what the problem was.
“Then I can’t kill Bran.”
Death said, “Leave him to me, my dear.
As soon as Erith turned her gaze to him and smiled, Fintan knew he and Cat had her complete blessing. He bowed his head.
To his shock, Death wrapped her arms around him in a loose embrace as she whispered, “I’m happy for you. It’s time to let go of the past and allow Cat to show you all that you’ve missed.”
She released him and stepped away. Then she turned, her gaze meeting Cael’s as the two walked away. Fintan waited until the pair had disappeared before he turned to Cat and the future that awaited them.
“I like her,” Cat said.
Fintan pulled her against him. “And she likes you.”
“What about you?” she asked, a twinkle in her eye.
He placed his hands on either side of her head, letting his fingers sink into her fiery locks. “I love you.”
“And I love you, my gorgeous Reaper,” she whispered before rising up on her toes to kiss him.
* * *
Eoghan shut his eyes against the dark force. It was all around him, a living, breathing being. He’d fallen into this place, unaware of what awaited him.
He couldn’t discern the beast from the shadows. He hadn’t known to hide. And fighting it had only made things worse. He’d never hurt so badly before.
His entire body was wracked with agony that never seemed to end—and he feared never would.
The claw marks across his chest throbbed almost as badly as his limbs that were stretched out and bound. He suspected he was dinner, but he wasn’t going down that easily.
He tried to use his magic, but it was like he no longer had any. This realm, or place—wherever he was—seemed to have stripped his magic and power, leaving him as defenseless as a mortal.
But he wouldn’t give up.
He fought against the bonds at his wrists, feeling them cut through his skin until he was bleeding. It was that blood that eventually allowed him to slip one hand out. He set about untying his other wrist, but his fingers wouldn’t move as requested.