by Piper Rayne
“I’m worried I won’t fit in my dress,” Presley admits.
While I opted for a Vegas wedding—opted might be the wrong word, since I got drunk and ended up having Elvis tie the knot—Presley and Cade are having a big affair in the fall. They’ve rented out Mandi’s inn for all of Presley’s family and are getting married on a yacht. I warned them that they could be asking for trouble with people getting seasick, but they didn’t care about my opinion.
“You’ll be fine,” I assure Presley.
I mentally add her concern to the list of reasons why it’s good that Logan and I got hitched the way we did—I never had to worry about this stuff.
“What do you want? To lose weight or not have jiggly arms?” Logan asks.
If he was close enough, I’d be pinching him like Presley did with Cade. What is he thinking?
Presley lifts her arms and waves her hand as though she’s waiting for her arm to jiggle. “Do I have the bye-bye arms?” Her tone tells me she’s about one second from bursting into tears and she’s not even the overly emotional one out of the crew.
“No. You’re fucking perfect.” Cade pulls her closer and narrows his eyes at Logan.
“I just want to lose weight. Running or something,” she says.
“I could do some circuit training with you. That way you’re building muscle and losing fat at the same time. The more muscle you have, the more calories your body will burn on its own.” Logan more than makes up for his remark. “It won’t take much.”
I smile at him. He better do the same for me when I’m back to only housing one person in my body.
“That sounds great,” Presley says.
“I’ll join her,” Clara chimes in.
I sulk next to them, pissed I can’t do the same. Running my hands over my stomach, I allow my head to fall back against the couch. This baby boy never stops moving, which is probably something he gets from his dad. While I’m happy watching reality television at night, Logan has decided that during commercial breaks, he’s going to do push-ups and sit-ups. Do you have any idea how pathetic that makes me feel?
Mom pats my knee. “Why are you worried about childbirth?”
“Because someone thought we needed to be prepared.” I eye Logan, who sheepishly looks behind him as if someone else is at fault.
“Meaning?” Clara asks, but the twist in her lips says she knows exactly where I’m going with this.
“We watched a birthing tape,” I say.
“Oh, Logan,” Presley says.
My mom and Clara groan in unison.
“Like the one in health class sophomore year?” Clara asks.
I nod. “More like YouTube. Did you know they have live births on there?” A full-body shiver racks my body as I remember.
“Listen.” Logan holds up his hands. “When I was fighting, you saw everything through, learned as much as you could about your opponent, collected all the information you could so you were prepared for anything.”
“The baby isn’t our opponent,” I deadpan.
“No, but you have to be prepared. This way there’re no surprises.”
I get what my loving husband was trying to do, but seeing a live birth and what’s going to happen to my body is unsettling, to put it mildly. We’ve barely been married that long and now my body is going to change forever. What if… ugh! I shake my head, not wanting to think about Logan never looking at me with the intensity he does now.
“And now how do you feel?” I ask him.
“I’m good. I like to know what we’re in for.”
I tilt my head. “So you liked the fact that my hoo-ha is going to be ripped open and sewn back together?”
Logan stares for a moment. A noise comes out of Xavier as if he’s twelve and just realized how women have babies.
“That doesn’t happen to everyone.” Mom pats my leg again.
Clara and Presley’s faces are now ghost-white. Cade leans in and whispers something to Presley—probably asking if her perfect pussy will be destroyed while delivering his precious baby. And the answer is a resounding YES! Just the thought of a head poking out that hole makes me nauseated again.
“You’re going to be fine, and you’ll still be the hottest and most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” Logan sits on the arm of the couch, leaning down to kiss my cheek. “I’m sorry again,” he whispers.
Hank comes in from outside. “Lights are up, my darling.” Then he notices all of us. “No one thought to join me outside?”
“I tried. You’re stubborn,” Cade says, which probably means they were bickering. Ever since Cade has tried to step in and act as if Hank is old and unable to do things, Hank works twice as hard to prove him wrong. It’s a vicious cycle that drives everyone nuts.
“I hung most of them,” Xavier chimes in.
Logan holds up his hands. “Sorry, I just got here.”
“How does Rylan get out of helping?” Xavier asks. “We always had to be Dad’s helper.”
“He just got back from soccer,” Mom says as though that’s an excuse.
I’m with Xavier. No one had a free pass in our household either. Rylan’s the most spoiled kid ever. They better watch out or he’s going to be an entitled asshole when he grows up.
“Hey, I hope it’s okay, but we invited Gavin Price,” I tell Hank and Mom.
“The actor?” Clara asks with piqued interest.
I peek at Xavier from the corner of my eye, and I swear his jaw tics.
“Yeah. He’s thinking of buying a house up here and doesn’t know many people. Figured I’d invite him to meet our family since we practically make up half the town.”
We all laugh.
“It’s fine, but just so you know, Grandma Ethel and Dori are bringing Midge,” Mom says.
“Someone hide the silverware,” Presley says, and we all laugh again.
The garage door opens and shuts, and we listen as someone grabs a drink from the laundry room fridge. Then Posey comes bouncing in looking like she just did five rounds with Logan.
Mom bolts up from the chair. “What the hell?”
Posey waves her off. “Some asshole buzzed by me and my bicycle tires slid off the road and I fell into a ditch. Nothing big.”
“You have scrapes everywhere and you’re bleeding.” Mom is aghast. “What kind of car was it?”
Cade rises off the couch. Xavier steps forward and Logan stands. Even Hank is leaning closer to hear her answer.
“Some fancy sports car. I don’t know. Probably just some tourist.” Posey thumbs toward the stairs. “I’m going to clean up. I think you have some of my old clothes around here somewhere.”
“I’ll be right up,” Mom says.
Posey walks toward the stairs and disappears.
The boys all look at one another as though they’re deciding who is going to speak first.
“Relax, boys, Posey’s a big girl. She can handle herself,” I tell them.
They all share a look then sit back down, but no doubt they’ll each be looking for a sports car in Sunrise Bay over the next week. Probably even accost a few innocent people in the hopes of protecting their sister.
I shake my head. Men.
I’m alone in the bathroom for about thirty seconds before there’s a soft knock. My mom peeks her head in. I’m staring at my reflection and how bad I look.
“Let me get the first aid kit.” She shuts the door as I examine my face.
I tried to play it off when I came in, but seriously—what kind of asshole drives like that? I cannot wait to find him and give him a piece of my mind. Ruining Greene summer bash day sucks, especially since my mom puts so much work into this day every year.
Mom walks back in and shuts the door, but not before Nikki, Clara, and Presley follow her in. They all sit on the edge of the tub like three little humpty-dumpties.
“It’s not nearly as bad as you think,” Mom says, patting my face with a washcloth.
“What kind of sports car was it?” Nikki asks.
“I’m just concerned for you,” Nikki says, but we both know different. There hasn’t been a hot story in our small town since her own drunken wedding and we all know she didn’t give that story the gusto she usually does.
“We’re not putting out a hit list on whoever it was. Maybe it was someone from Northern Lights Retirement Center,” I say.
They all laugh because Northern Lights is where my stepgrandma, Ethel, lives with her friends. That should be the focus of Nikki’s radio show. They do some crazy shit over there.
“Not in a sports car,” Mom says, putting a Band-Aid on my forehead. Great.
“Could you imagine if Dori got behind the wheel of a sports car?” Clara says, and more laughter fills the small bathroom.
I do love my big family, even if they’re nosy.
“I’m good, Mom.” I step back to stop her from fussing over me. “What can I do to help today?”
She packs everything back up in the first aid kit. “I have everything under control.”
I feel relieved she doesn’t need help, but even if I didn’t feel like it, I’d always put anything aside to help my mom. She did everything for all of us for years before she married Hank and had an actual partner who lent a hand.
“Okay, but let me know if you change your mind.”
“Yeah, we can all help,” Nikki chimes in.
Of course, she’s late to offer. I love my sister, but she can be a tad self-absorbed. Not in a horrible way, but I’ve always felt as though I was Mom’s helper while my other two sisters did whatever they wanted. Maybe it’s just because I’m the youngest.
“Let’s get downstairs before the boys eat all the food I’ve prepared,” Mom says and opens the door.
I take another good look at myself in the mirror and cringe. Who knew a tumble off a bicycle could do so much damage? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to kill the bastard who can’t control his car. Whoever it is, they’re not from Sunrise Bay, that’s for sure.
Walking down the stairs, I can already hear the guys laughing and making fun of one another. And Jed isn’t even here yet, I don’t think.
I’m not surprised when I spot Lucy about to come up the stairs. “Aw… did I miss girl time?”
“Not at all. Posey got run off the road by some crazy guy and Marla was tending to her wounds,” Clara tells her.
“What?” Lucy’s eyes are wide and filled with concern.
“I’m fine. Look. All bandaged up.”
Lucy shakes her head and looks me over to make sure.
“Hey, Luce, thanks for babysitting Bernie,” Presley says, and Nikki looks over her shoulder at me and raises her eyebrows.
Bernie is the brother of Lola, Cade and Presley’s dog, but the two couldn’t be more different. Bernie hasn’t grown out of the chewing phase yet and tends to run around in circles, while Lola is chill and lies around the majority of the time.
“You’re welcome, no trouble,” Lucy says.
“Why did Bernie need a sitter?” Clara nudges her sister’s arm, waggling her brows.
“You know Bernie doesn’t much care for when we show affection and Cade’s been growing impatient. We tried to lock him out of the bedroom, but he whined and scratched on the door, so I couldn’t concentrate. I asked Lucy and Adam to watch him as a surprise for Cade.”
Mom smiles at her soon-to-be daughter-in-law. “You gotta keep things spicy. I know you’re not married yet, but don’t let that dog get in the way of bedroom activities.”
We all stand in silence in the foyer at the bottom of the staircase. Mom giving us sex advice is uncomfortable at best.
Presley pastes on a convincing smile. “Thanks, Marla.”
“Ew, Mom, the last thing I want to know about is you and Hank in the bedroom.” Nikki shivers.
“Since I’ve had to hear and, oh, see pictures of you and Logan, I’d say I know how you feel.” Mom crosses her arms and juts out her hip.
“She’s not wrong, Nik,” I say.
Two months ago, Nikki and Logan got caught by the paps in Vegas while they were there to support one of Logan’s friends, who was fighting. They were in the corner of some club and Logan’s hand was up Nikki’s dress.
“You be pregnant and horny and get back to me.” Nikki heads out of the foyer, and we all giggle. For someone who reports gossip for a living, she sure hates when it’s about her.
When we rejoin the guys, one thing is clear—Bernie has joined the party. Cade glances at Presley across the room with a look of defeat. Rumor has it he’s been through three dog trainers and had no luck at taming the crazy dog.
Bernie spots Presley and runs our way, jumping up, and she catches him.
“Nice, Pres,” I say.
She shakes her head. “It was either learn how to catch him or be head-butted over and over. For my body’s sake, this is how Bernie and I say hello now.”
“I hope you enjoyed yourselves because the playdates are on hiatus for a while.” Adam leans back in his chair, a beer in his hand.
“Adam…” Lucy sighs as if they’ve had a conversation about this already.
Logan’s phone rings and he walks away from the group.
“No, I know we were gonna act cool, but that ended when I found him humping Lola this morning. They’re siblings.” Adam sits up and pets Lola, who’s sitting calmly beside his chair. “I’m sorry, little girl. Daddy won’t let that happen again.”
Bernie gets squirmy in Presley’s arms, so she says, “I’m going to take him out.”
“Leash is by the garage door,” Adam calls.
“I’ll go with you,” I say, needing to get some air.
Plus, Presley’s awesome with advice since she’s not from this town and she’s marrying in as a Greene. She has a different perspective than the rest of us and tends to be the one we go to.
We walk outside and immediately hear two men’s voices.
“Someone else must have arrived,” Presley says.
I had been hoping to be able to talk to her alone. I need to discuss these feelings I’m having for someone I barely know but is so far out of my league it’s not funny.
Walking out of the garage, I spot the same sports car that ran me off the road parked in the long driveway. Then I spot the guy I’ve been crushing on. Logan’s friend and actor, Gavin Price, stands next to the car that made me careen into a ditch.
“Man, don’t tell Cade, but he’s one good-looking guy,” Presley whispers.
How can I blame her, since he’s filled all of my imaginings lately? But instead of the butterflies that usually flutter in my belly when I see Gavin, anger boils the blood in my veins. Because he’s the one who almost ran me over.
Lucy comes over to me after Presley takes Bernie, aka Ron Jeremy, outside. Forgive me for not being on the up-and-up of the popular male porn stars of the moment. But Bernie couldn’t keep off poor Lola.
“I thought we weren’t going to be completely honest about last night, so they didn’t feel bad?” Lucy phrases it as a question, but what my wife is really saying is, “I told you not to say anything, so why did you?”
“If the roles were reversed, Cade would be telling us if Lola was lapping at Bernie’s dick all night.”
“It was not that bad,” Lucy says, still whispering as if my family isn’t within earshot. They’re always within earshot.
“Tell that to poor Lola.” I pick her up and cradle her in my arms, kissing the top of her head. “She’s probably traumatized. Imagine if I was all up in Chevelle’s business.” I shudder.
She rolls her eyes. “That’s a tad different, don’t you think?”
“I think it’s the same premise whether it’s dogs or humans. Bernie needs to know his place.”
“I’m going outside,” Cade says and leaves out the back door with Xavier and Clara.
; “Can we please put the dog issues to the side today?” my dad asks, then squeezes my shoulder.
Just so we’re clear, he’s not asking, he’s telling in the same way Lucy did.
“You’d feel differently—”
“Adam.”
I hold up my hands. “Okay. Okay. Doggie issues are done.”
I follow my dad into the kitchen where Marla’s cutting up vegetables. After my mom died, there was a long stretch when we didn’t have to eat vegetables. It was glorious—until my dad got on this health kick when he finally realized our nutrition was his responsibility.
Lucy sidles up to me as I steal a cucumber and dip it into the ranch dressing. Marla makes her own dressing and it’s the best I’ve ever had.
Marla glances up and back down to the cutting board, but her head flips up again as though she can read that Lucy and I have something we want to say. She most likely can—Marla’s a great mom. She always knows when something is up.
“Hank,” Marla says, pulling his attention back to the kitchen since he was wandering off. “The kids have something to tell us.”
My dad comes back over to the island, then steals a tomato and dips it in the ranch.
She smacks my dad’s hand. “If you two keep it up, there won’t be any for the guests.”
Dad feigns injury. “Why don’t you smack Adam’s hand?”
“Because I love him more,” she says, smiling at Dad.
He shakes his head. “I guess that’s the way it should be.” Then my dad sets his eyes on Lucy and me. “What’s up?”
I look at Lucy to make sure she’s ready for this announcement. We wanted to tell our parents first, then sprinkle it out to all the siblings. Wrapping my arm around Lucy’s waist, I pull her to my side.
“We’ve decided to start trying to have a baby,” I say. “We’ve gone back to Dr. Bailey in Lake Starlight, who referred us to a clinic in Anchorage.”
Marla smiles and wipes her hands. She’s coming over to hug us, I just know it. My dad stays put and stares. After Marla hugs and congratulates us, I look at my dad, waiting for a response.
“Dad?” I’ve never seen that look in his eye except on the first few anniversaries and birthdays after Mom’s death.