by Judy Corry
"A bientôt," I replied, happy I'd get to see her soon.
After ending my call with Juliette, I paced around my room for fifteen full minutes, trying to summon the courage to text Noah about "game planning" this new arrangement of ours.
I should be a lot cooler about this, since it was fake, but every time he said something about my crush on him in the past, I was scared he'd be able to see just how true his words were. I had crushed on him growing up. Five long years’ worth of crushing on Noah. But I had finally bit that bad habit in the bud and had moved on a year ago.
I couldn't have him figure out that it was ever true, or that a tiny piece of me might still be just a little attracted to him.
Yeah, he definitely couldn't find that out or he was sure to make our fake-dating scheme a whole-lotta painful for me and a whole-lotta fun for him.
But we still needed to talk somewhere private, where we wouldn't have any prying eyes and ears discovering what was really going on.
So I clicked send on my message.
Me: Can you come over? I think we need to set up some ground rules.
Noah: Ground rules? Those don't sound like any fun.
Of course. Rules were like a bad word to guys like Noah. He was all about breaking them.
Me: Ground guidelines then?
I could just picture him laughing at this. He had a nice laugh. It was deep and full and did funny things to my insides.
I waited for him to respond, but when I didn't see any conversation dots, I texted him again.
Me: My dad is making meatloaf, potatoes, and carrots for dinner. We can eat first.
He was like a bottomless pit. I probably should have offered food in my original message.
My phone chimed almost instantly.
Noah: What time is dinner?
Yep, I should have definitely mentioned food first. I'd know better for next time.
Me: 6:30
Noah: I'll be there.
"So where would you like to talk?" Noah stood close to me as I loaded the last of the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner. And I didn't know how he did it, but he managed to make the word "talk" sound like we were going to be doing something against the law.
I looked around to make sure my dad wasn't watching. I absolutely could not have him thinking anything was going on between us. He'd skin me alive...after he was finished with Noah, of course.
Dinner had already been stressful enough with Noah there. Yes, he'd eaten with us a million times before, but now that we had this secret between us, I felt like if I even looked across the table to him that my dad would know what was going on.
I added the detergent packet to the dishwasher. "We can talk downstairs if you want."
As I pushed the buttons to start the load, he leaned in closer and spoke into my hair. "I'll be waiting for—"
He stopped mid-sentence. I moved my focus from the dishwasher buttons to see what had startled him. My dad had just walked into the room.
He'd gotten his dark hair trimmed today, so he was back to looking like he had when he was a drill sergeant.
I didn't think he'd seen how close Noah had been standing to me, but that didn't keep my heart from letting me know it was still in there.
"H-hi Dad." I swallowed the thickness in my throat and hoped I didn't have sweat beading on my brow.
"Where's Easton?" Dad asked.
"He went downstairs to do his homework since he was busy working this afternoon."
My dad's blue eyes drifted to Noah, as if trying to figure out why he was still here.
"A-and, Noah and I have a school project that we were just about to work on."
"You two have a class together?" Dad's eyebrows furrowed.
I looked at Noah, hoping he could help me out because my mind was clearly not working at the moment. Of course we didn't have any classes together. He was two grades above me.
Noah stepped forward. "No, but she's helping me with this English project I'm doing."
My dad nodded, his shoulders relaxing. "Lexi's always been a reader."
Then, as if that settled everything, he continued through the kitchen and into the living room.
I rushed Noah down the stairs as soon as the coast was clear, knowing my heart couldn't handle any more scares like that today. I was sure to develop an ulcer or something if my world didn't calm down quick.
We sat on the brown sectional, and I pulled up the notepad app on my phone.
"So what English project am I supposedly helping you with?" I asked.
He pressed the button on the side to recline in the seat. "Pride and Prejudice."
I coughed. "You do realize that I know next to nothing about Pride and Prejudice or anything by Jane Austen, right?"
"I thought all girls loved that book." He looked at me like I was a strange anomaly in the world of girls.
"No, that's Ashlyn. I haven't even watched the movie version."
A sheepish grin spread over his lips. "Dang it. I was actually kind of hoping that as my girlfriend you might be able to help me figure out that book. Or at least watch the movie with me sometime. The test is next week."
"Well, okay. I guess we can both suffer through that movie together sometime." I held up my phone. "Which brings us to our next item of business."
"You make it sound so formal."
"What would you rather I call it?"
He thought for a moment before saying, "Our second date."
I grabbed the throw pillow beside me and chucked it at him.
He blocked it with his hands and laughed. "Sorry. It was just right there. I had to say it." And he just kept on laughing.
"I'm glad you can at least amuse yourself," I said as seriously as I could muster. I couldn't let him know that I actually kind of enjoyed his teasing. Which was another stupid thing. It reminded me of something Raven was ranting about last week. She said that when a boy teases a girl and we dismiss it as harmless and just a show of affection, we’re actually encouraging future domestic abuse by enabling this behavior and mentality.
But it was hard to think of Noah's teasing like that when my stomach did little flips every time he winked at me.
"Okay, sorry." His face sobered, and he looked repentant. "What are the guidelines that we need to set?"
I shifted in my seat, preparing myself to talk about possibly awkward things.
"I was thinking that since we're pretending to be dating, we’ll probably end up in awkward situations. So I want to make sure that we set up some rules for each other, so we don’t cross any lines of comfort."
That came out weird, but I hoped he got the gist of what I was saying.
"That sounds like a good plan." He nodded, and for the first time all day he actually looked serious.
"Good. And I figured I'd jot them all down here, so I can send them to you later."
"Is this like a binding contract? Are you going to send me to a fake-dating jail if I mess up?"
"Of course not."
"Good."
"So do you have any specific things you don’t want me to say or do while we're in front of people?"
He cleared his throat and sat up taller. "Actually, today…" He shifted his gaze to the side, as if about to say something nerve-wracking. "Um, when you put your hand on my arm and told me I had a million-dollar smile, I felt really uncomfortable. Like, I really didn't like it."
For a moment, I sat there in silence, stunned that he would actually feel that way. Of all the things that happened today, he thought that was bad?
"I'm sorry, Noah. I had no idea..."
And then, of course, his lips lifted up into that million-dollar-smile of his.
"I'm joking, Lexi. I really don't care what you say or do to me." He burst up laughing. "You should have seen your face, though."
I grabbed the pillow again and threw it at him, this time hitting him right in the face.
"Hey!" He rubbed his eyes, but I couldn't manage to feel one ounce of guilt for making them water.
"
So this whole conversation’s going to be pointless then?" I asked.
He held his hands up in surrender. "That was the last one. I promise for real this time."
"It’d better be."
"You won't even need to use this pillow again." He set it down on the floor, as if that would help prove he was suddenly trustworthy. Then he pulled the recliner back to its seating position. "I'll even sit here like I'm in a business meeting with you."
"You really don't have to do that," I said.
He tilted his head and scrunched up one side of his face. "Actually, I probably do. I tend to get unruly when I'm relaxed."
"Unruly?"
"Yeah, that Jane Austen lady must be getting to me."
"Okay," I said, finally ready to move on to the reason why I'd invited him over in the first place. "I guess I just wanted to figure out what we'll do in certain situations at school. Like, how far are we going to take this?"
He pursed his bottom lip. "Well, I'm thinking since this is only fake, if we get sent into seven minutes of heaven at a party, we should only make-out for five minutes tops."
Panic rose in my chest. "D-do they play that game a lot at the parties you go to?" I thought they only did things like that in the movies.
He lifted a shoulder. "Well, you never know. I thought we were planning for everything."
"Do you think they'd know if we really made out or not?"
"You don't want to make-out with me, Lexi?" He put a hand over his chest as if I'd just offended him in the worst way.
But it was more like I was scared to death of ever being in that situation. I'd never even kissed a guy.
"I just don't think we should have to make-out because of a silly game."
"Fine. I can just mess up your hair a little with my hands and call it good."
I was sooo out of my element here. I might need to call Juliette again and have her talk me through this.
But no, I was a big girl. I could figure this fake dating thing out on my own.
"How about we just don't show up to those kinds of parties, okay?"
He sighed. "Okay."
"So let's talk about school. Do you want me to eat with you every day? Or do you like space from your girlfriends?"
Noah and Ashlyn had spent all their free time at school together when they were still dating. But I wanted to make sure he understood that I didn't expect things to be the same as they were with her.
"Yeah, let's eat together. Raven won't believe any of this if we don't. And, if you want, I could pick you up for school in the mornings."
My mind imagined what it would be like to show up to school in his car in the morning instead of being driven by my dad or Easton. It would be pretty amazing. Except for one thing.
"I'm pretty sure my dad would get suspicious. And I doubt he'd believe that it was for your English assignment."
"Good point," he said. "So, I know you don't want to kiss me or anything, but I'm pretty sure Raven will expect us to hold hands and cuddle. Would you be okay with that?"
My palms went sweaty at the thought. I'd never done that before either. Would he be able to tell the first time we held hands?
I wiped my fingers along my pants. "Yeah, we could hold hands."
"And cuddle?" He raised his perfect eyebrows. Was it weird that I thought he had amazing eyebrows?
"Sure," I squeaked. I'd never done any of these things with a guy before, just my cute two-year-old nephew Grant, but I wasn't about to tell him that now.
He gave me a half smile. "Looks like our relationship is progressing already. Just last weekend you were telling me we wouldn't be cuddling on our first date. And now I get to hold your hand and everything."
How could he be so nonchalant about this whole thing?
"Just holding hands and cuddling, right?" I confirmed as I finished typing the rules of our agreement into my phone.
"I promise not to kiss you unless you ask me to."
My heart spiked at his mention of kissing. But I cleared my throat and did my best to appear unfazed. "Sounds good. Just don't hold your breath, because I'm not the PDA kind of girl."
8
Noah
I checked my phone for the time. It was almost ten. Easton and I had decided to play video games in his basement after Lexi and I finished our game-planning session for the next days at school.
I wondered if I could just ask Easton to let me sleep here. It was late enough that he'd probably let me chill on his couch for the night.
Mr. Stevens’ heavy footsteps sounded at the top of the staircase.
"Time to hit the lights, boys. You've got school tomorrow."
Easton groaned, but he paused the game. "Looks like you'll have to wait until tomorrow to decimate my city." He saved the game and then shut the system down.
I stood and stretched, trying to get up the nerve to ask if I could stay over.
Hey, it's late. Mind if I crash on your couch? I ran the words through my head. That didn't sound like a weird request, did it?
"Noah, it's time for you to head home now." Mr. Stevens’ voice bellowed down the stairs.
So much for staying out of the cold tonight. My shoes suddenly felt like they were full of lead. They did not want to carry me up the stairs and out to my car. That was about the last thing I wanted to do.
But as much as I didn't want to go outside, I was still too stubborn to go crawling back to my dad's house again. And too prideful.
So I grabbed my letterman jacket from the couch and shrugged into it.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow." I nodded to Easton.
He yawned and stretched. "Have a good night."
I'll try.
I trudged up the stairs and met Mr. Stevens at the top.
"You be careful out there driving on the ice," he said. "I heard the roads are slick tonight."
I nodded and met his eyes. I was technically an inch taller than him, but I always felt small in the presence of this giant of a man. "I'll drive slow."
I went out the door and was instantly hit with a gust of wind and snow. I could barely see a few feet in front of me in the blizzard.
I turned on my car and let it warm up, shivering as my body adjusted to the cold. I blew on my hands. I really didn't feel like getting caught in a snowstorm tonight. So instead of heading off toward my usual camping spot, I drove a few houses down and settled in for the night.
When my alarm woke me at six the next morning, my car was buried. I leaned over the center console and started the engine, hoping it would warm up quickly.
While my car was defrosting, I wriggled out of my sleeping bag and pulled on my boots from the backseat. By the time I had them on and had slipped my arms into my coat, the car was warm enough that some of the ice that were stuck to the windows started to melt.
But I still had to climb out and scrape the thick pile of snow off the windshield. Winter sucked.
About ten minutes later, I could finally drive to school. If I didn't get there soon, all the drill team girls would see me sneaking into the boys’ locker room. And I knew Ashlyn would most definitely be curious about why I was at school so early. Back in October, when my mom was in the women’s shelter, Ashlyn had gotten suspicious, questioning me about where I had been staying. If she knew that I was sleeping in my car now, she might interfere. And she didn't need to worry about me anymore. I was no longer a problem for her.
I parked in the lot by the gym and snuck in through the back door. Thankfully, no one saw me before I slipped into the locker room. The hot shower felt amazing on my skin, and I spent a few extra minutes lathering up. Half of the night I’d been awake, alternating between shivering and turning on the car heater for a few minutes because it had gotten so cold. My new sleeping bag had made it better, but if we had another night like that, I might have to humble myself and ask my dad to let me in. I knew I could probably just tell my mom about what was happening, but I really didn't want to cause any more problems between her and Paul right now. She
said to give them a few days, so I would do that.
"Are you coming to the game today?" Raven sidled up to me as I walked from my third-period class to fourth.
"I hadn't really thought about it. But yeah I'll probably go." Then realizing that she was probably asking because she wanted me to sit near her as she cheered, I added, "But I'll be sitting by Lexi and the pep band, now that we're public. She's been telling me all month how she's been dying for me to get over my fear of Easton beating me up and just come and sit by her."
Okay, so that was a huge lie, but Raven seemed to believe it since her expression fell.
But almost as soon as I saw her disappointment, she forced a smile onto her face. "I'm going to have to get used to that. I still can't believe you and Lexi are actually dating. That came out of nowhere."
"Yeah." I shrugged as guilt gnawed at my insides. I remembered how Raven and I had made out just the week before Lexi and I had allegedly started dating. "You never know what's gonna happen. But she is certainly one-of-a-kind." I probably should've come up with a more romantic-sounding compliment for Lexi. One that would make this whole thing more believable. But I wasn't the romantic type of guy who wrote sonnets or sang love songs to girls. I was more of the "Hey girl, wanna make-out?” kind of guy. I certainly hadn't treated Ashlyn like she wanted, and I wasn't interested in dating Raven like she wanted. So this fake-boyfriend thing with Lexi would be kind of perfect. At least it would keep me from making out with random girls and then feeling guilty when I realized I was on my way to breaking another heart.
"Well, I guess I might see you at the game then." Raven quickened her pace to leave me.
"Sure," I called after her. "I'll see you then."
I pulled out my phone when I got to my next class and quickly shot Lexi a text.
Me: Can I sit by you at the game tonight? Is that allowed?
It took her a moment to respond, and I was worried she'd say no—which was crazy, since we weren't really dating. But for some reason, my heart raced like it thought she really had the power to hurt me if she turned me down.