by Judy Corry
"Lexi, wait." He gripped my arm and my pulse turned frantic.
Knock. Knock.
"Can I come in?" Easton's voice sounded from the hall.
I jumped away from Noah like he was on fire and pushed him back in the closet, shutting the door on him. Then I quickly turned around to make sure Easton hadn't opened the door already. Thankfully, he hadn't, so I launched myself onto my bed.
Just as I was about to tell him to come in, I saw Noah's backpack in the middle of my floor.
"Just a minute," I called, my heart beating wildly in my chest. "I'm just putting on my pajamas."
He hadn't seen me already wearing them when I was in the kitchen making a sandwich, right?
I jumped off my bed and swooped Noah's backpack up, and quickly shoved it at him in the closet. I didn't get a chance to actually see him since he'd thankfully thought to shut off the light, but I heard him groan like I'd just hurt him with his backpack.
I'd probably thrown it at his head, like everything else he'd bumped into today.
Once I'd shut the door, I jumped on my bed again and pulled my phone off my nightstand, hoping I'd look like I was calm and relaxed. "You can come in now."
Easton stepped inside and shut the door behind him. "Hey, I just got done talking to Dad."
"Yeah?" I asked.
Act cool. Don't look at the closet.
"What exactly were you and Noah doing when he got home? I thought you two were just pretending to date. This didn't somehow suddenly turn real, did it?"
My stomach went into my throat, but I tried to make a face that didn't show him anything weird was going on.
"Of course it's not real. I just fell asleep, and I guess Dad thought I was cuddling with Noah or something."
Easton leaned against the wall. "I knew it was probably something like that."
"Could you imagine me and Noah together for real?" I laughed awkwardly. "That's nuts. I'm sure he can barely stand to be around me most of the time."
"That's true. You guys do fight a lot."
"Yeah," I agreed, though we hadn't really been fighting very much lately. Sure he teased me here and there, but it was starting to be more like flirting than anything else. Was that stupid of me to think he was flirting with me? Because it sure seemed like he was about to kiss me a few seconds ago. And I wanted to believe that I didn't have a reason to think it was just another practice.
"Good. That's what I told Dad. So your secret fake relationship is still safe with me."
Fake relationship. I was really starting to hate those two words. I wanted it to be real.
"Thanks."
"Speaking of you and Noah spending more time together, have you noticed anything off with him this week?"
"What do you mean?" My voice came out higher pitched than usual. I sat up a little straighter, feeling uncomfortable talking about Noah when I knew he could hear everything from his hiding place in my closet.
Easton slid down the wall until he was seated on the floor. "I don't know. It feels like he's been avoiding me. I know I've been working a lot this week, and you two have your thing going on. But it just seems like something is off. And after what his dad told Dad today..." he trailed off.
"He's not into drugs, if that's what you’re wondering."
Easton looked up at me. "Okay, that's good. I didn't think so, but I just wanted to see if you knew anything."
I did know something. But I couldn't betray Noah's trust. If he wanted my brother to know, he'd tell him.
"So, are you grounded from Noah, too?" I asked.
He laughed. "He tried, but I learned through the years that sometimes you just have to stand up to Dad."
"Wish I was better at that. According to him, I'm going to end up just like Maddie if I spend any more time alone with Noah."
Which was so stupid. I knew how babies were made. And Noah and I were most definitely not going to do those things together.
I still didn't even know if he even liked me in that way.
I glanced at my closet and my cheeks heated when I realized Noah had probably just heard what I'd said. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Easton looked away and coughed. "Anyway," he said awkwardly, clearly not liking the thought of me and Noah being together. "Maybe I'll see if Noah wants to do a hot tub night tomorrow after the game. We haven't done one of those in a while."
"I'm sure he'd like that." Then an image of Noah without a shirt popped into my head. He really looked good without his shirt on. It probably would be a good idea for me to find something to do tomorrow night, so I wouldn't be tempted to watch them.
I shook my head. Way to be creepy, Lexi.
"Yeah, I'll shoot him a text."
Just don't text him right now. Because a ringing sound coming from my closet would not be good.
I expected Easton to get up to go now that we'd covered the topics at hand. But he just stayed there with his back against the wall.
Why wasn't he leaving?
"So random question,” he said, “but doesn't Juliette get back soon?" He stared at his hand which he was rubbing along the gray carpet absentmindedly.
I frowned. "Yeah, she gets back next week. Why do you ask?"
"No reason, really. She just popped into my head today while I was working." He shrugged, but still wouldn't meet my eyes. Weird.
"Is everything okay between you and Mercedes?"
"Sure. Things are fine. We're gonna go to the game together tomorrow. She's nice."
Nice? Hmm. Something was off with my brother. He'd just called her "the hottest girl in school" last week. But now she was simply nice?
Did any of this have to do with Juliette coming back? They had acted really weird around each other before she went to Paris.
"Well, I better get to bed. Thanks for the chat." He stood and made ready to leave. Finally.
But just before he opened the door, he turned back and asked, "Hey, do you still have your skateboard repair kit?"
The repair kit that was currently in my closet?
"Why?" I asked, since opening my closet to look for something was about the last thing I wanted to do right now. "Are you going skateboarding? It's the middle of winter."
He scratched the back of his neck. "I was thinking about going to the indoor skatepark in Syracuse soon. I just wanted to get my skateboard ready."
"Um, well, it's probably buried in there. I'm kind of tired and don't really want to dig through my whole closet if you don't really need it."
"That's okay, I can look for it."
I jumped from my bed and blocked him from opening my closet door. "No. That's okay. I'll..."
He narrowed his gaze. "Why are you acting so weird?"
I laughed awkwardly. "No reason. It's just...um...I hung my bras up in there to dry and I don't want you to see them."
He stepped back, clearly not wanting to see my underwear, either. "Okay, yeah. I'll, um, just get it from you later."
I nodded, and my erratic heartbeat slowed a little. "I'll get it to you tomorrow."
He put his hand on the doorknob. "Thanks. Goodnight."
"Night."
I collapsed against my closet door as soon as he was gone. Whew. That was close!
The closet door behind me opened a crack, making me jump.
"Is it okay to come out for air now?" Noah asked through the crack.
I swung the door wide open, feeling bad for trapping him in there for so long. "Yes." I looked around quickly just to make sure Easton really was gone and not coming back in. "You can come out."
He crawled out and stood, giving me a lopsided grin. "Now wasn't that exciting?"
I shook my head but smiled despite myself. "I don't know if exciting is the right word for it."
22
Noah
This was getting dangerous. Not only did Lexi's dad not want her to spend any more time with me, but now Easton had almost caught us.
But it was probably a good thing that Easton had come in when he had. I’d b
een about to kiss Lexi, and that would have been really bad. We were just fake dating, and I couldn't have any feelings getting involved. I wasn't supposed to be with a girl right now. I was supposed to stay single and not let anyone else get mixed up in my messy life. I needed to figure things out myself.
But something Lexi had said bothered me. I needed to ask her about it.
So after we were in our respective sleeping areas—her in her bed, me scrunched up in her closet—I asked. Hoping the darkness, and the inability for her to see my face, would make this less uncomfortable.
"Is it true what you said to Easton?"
"What do you mean?" she asked. "I kind of told a lot of lies just barely."
"I'm talking about what you said about me. Do you really think I don't want to be around you?"
She was quiet for a moment too long, and I worried I may have messed something up. "Well, kind of. I mean, ever since I've known you, it seems like I've just been this proverbial annoying little sister of your best friend."
That may have been true in the past. But it wasn't true anymore. "That couldn't be further from the truth, Lexi." My heart raced, feeling like I'd practically admitted that I liked her. What would she say? Would it scare her to death? I was two years older than her.
"What do you mean?" she asked in a quiet voice.
I turned on my side so that I could see her silhouette better in the darkness. "Well, in the very least, I'd like to think that we became friends this past week."
She turned to face me, too, her head resting on her arm as she laid on her pillow. "Yeah, I guess we're friends."
That was good. At least she saw me as a friend.
"But how long do you want to keep this fake relationship going? I mean, for me and my purposes, I think that it has fulfilled its need. I thought I liked Harrison and all, but I don't really care anymore."
She didn't care about the trumpet player anymore? "I guess if you don't want to keep this up we can stop," I offered. It probably wasn't fair for me to keep this going with Lexi anymore. Things were already confusing as they were. "Do you want to break up tomorrow?"
"Um, sure. That would probably be good. I think Easton is missing you, anyway."
"Yeah, probably time to get things back to normal around here." The thought made me sad. Really sad. I didn't want to lose what Lexi and I had together.
"So you want to do it tomorrow at school? Make it a big public thing? Or just tell everyone?"
"I think I've had enough of public spectacles to be good for a long time," I admitted. I was tired of always putting on a show.
"Okay, yeah. We can just tell people if they ask. I don't want to make it a big production, either." She rolled onto her back.
I wanted to say something more but didn't know if I had the guts to say it.
But it was time for me to start acting like a man. So I said, "It’s going to be kind of weird not hanging out with you as much after this week." Which was strange. We'd known each other since I was in middle school, yet in just one week I'd gotten to know her better than I had in the last six years.
"It was fun while it lasted." She sighed. "But Juliette will be home next weekend anyway, so I guess the timing is probably about as perfect as it could be. Things will go back to normal and it will be as if this week never even happened."
She said it like it was a good thing. But I couldn't help feel the complete opposite.
"Well, I guess this is probably the last time you'll have to hold my hand," I told Lexi as we walked into school the next morning. My heart squeezed in my chest just a little bit as I thought about how our week of pretending was coming to an end. If I'd known how things were going to go from the beginning, I probably would've done things a lot differently. Found more reasons to cuddle with her. Hold her hand. Kiss her. Just be with her more. But we were ending. And I needed to be okay with that. It had been fake from the start. We'd only kissed that one time because the situation had demanded it.
And if I'd known that one kiss was all I was going to get, I would've made it last longer. Savored it. And probably have tried to steal another.
But we had accomplished what we set forth to accomplish when we started this. Kind of.
Except for the fact that she didn't really care what Harrison thought of her anymore. And I didn't care what Raven thought, either. All I cared about was if Lexi wanted to date me. All I cared about was what Lexi thought of me now.
"Yeah, you can go back to hanging out with all your girlfriends after tonight." There was a sadness in her eyes that I couldn't miss.
I squeezed her hand. "We'll still see each other all the time. I mean, it's not like I'm going anywhere. I'll still be Easton's friend unless your dad really does stay true to what he said yesterday."
We made it to her locker, but I didn't want to let go of her hand. I wanted to hold onto it forever. She didn't seem in a hurry to let go either. Which made me wonder if we were really doing the best thing. Would it be so bad if what started out as fake turn out to be real?
She cleared her throat and let go of my hand to open her locker. I watched as she set her books inside, just soaking in everything that was Lexi. Her long brown hair that she liked to keep in a ponytail most of the time. Her thick-rimmed glasses that I'd always thought made her look geeky, but now I found them adorable. Her tomboyish clothes and Chuck Taylors. Everything I had never thought I would like about a girl was suddenly all my favorite things.
She finished putting her books away then turned to me, catching me staring at her. She bit her lip. "So do we start telling people this morning? Or just save it all for after lunch?" she asked.
If we waited until after lunch, I'd still have another chance to hold her close. More possibilities to enjoy being with Lexi without worrying about it being wrong. But also, more opportunities that I knew wouldn't be real.
Which was better? To cut it off now? Stop myself from pretending that there was a future between us? That she might possibly someday see me as something more than this homeless guy she pretended to date once?
Or was it better to get my head out of the clouds and face reality now?
"Let's wait until after lunch."
I tried to get a read on what she was thinking, but I couldn't tell. She just appeared neutral about the whole thing.
Maybe this wasn't affecting her as much as I'd hoped.
But then she said, "Yeah, I think that's best. I don't usually like answering questions this early in the day, anyway."
"Me neither." I smiled, happy that she was at least going along with this with me. "Want me to walk you to class for old time’s sake?" I offered my hand to her again, my heart pounding as I prayed she wouldn't turn me down.
She only hesitated for a second, and the feel of her hand in mine made my heart calm down. It just felt right. Like I was meant to hold her hand forever.
"I'd like that," she said.
23
Lexi
In just under an hour, my long-time dream of dating Noah Taylor would be over. I knew this day would come eventually, but now that it was here, I wanted to tell it to go away. I'd never dated anyone before—this fake-dating experience was all that I had, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. In fact, if I had the option to fake-date Noah or date Harrison for real, I'd pick the fake. It had been one of the craziest, but also one of the best weeks of my life.
When I entered the lunchroom, Noah was already sitting at our table. He must have been watching for me because as soon as I looked at him, he smiled and waved. My heart squeezed in my chest. He was smiling at me.
I forced myself to walk at a regular pace, though all I wanted to do was run to him so that I could have just a few more seconds to bask in what it was like to be Noah's girlfriend.
He pulled the chair next to him out for me.
"Hey," he said, smiling as I took my seat.
"Hi," I said, scooting closer. We still had a few more minutes. It would be okay for me to glue myself to his side, righ
t?
"Do you want to eat lunch before we go somewhere and pretend to break up?" he asked.
My stomach was all tied up in knots. I didn't think I would be able to eat even if I tried. "I'm not really that hungry today," I said.
"Okay, let's just go now then. I have something I wanted to talk to you about, anyway."
Noah took my hand and led me from the cafeteria. He intertwined his fingers with mine, squeezing my hand. I was going to miss this so much.
We bumped into Easton on our way.
"Hey, where are you two going?" he asked, his expression darkening when his gaze flicked down to our entwined hands.
Noah stepped closer to Easton and bent his head down to speak in a lowered voice. "We're going to the auditorium to 'break up.'" He held one hand up to make air quotes.
"Ah, gotcha." Easton gave us a knowing look. "Well, make sure you don't take too long because I want to talk to you about your plans for tonight."
"Will do." Noah nodded.
Soon he was pulling me away with him to the auditorium's back entrance that led to the stage. "They sometimes leave this unlocked." He gripped the handle and pulled. And just like he had suggested, the door opened right up. It was pretty dark when we stepped inside, just a couple of emergency lights on in the back.
"Should we just sit right here?" Noah pointed to the stairs that led down from the stage.
"Sure." I sat down on the first step.
I looked at the rows of red cushioned seats as Noah lowered himself next to me, and I couldn't help but have a sense of déjà vu.
"This kind of reminds me of our first date," I said.
Noah glanced around as he tugged on his pant legs to get better situated on the step. "Yeah, it kind of does."
It was crazy how much had happened since he'd saved me at the movie theater.
I put my hands in my lap, wondering what he needed to talk to me about.
After a brief pause, he said, "So, my mom called me this morning during second period."