by Karina Bliss
She was right. For eight years he’d avoided real intimacy.
He wound a strand of her hair around his finger and made a corkscrew curl. His throat tightened.
Damn it, Kate shouldn’t have said she loved him. Jordan embraced his resentment. He wasn’t ready to be shoved out of his comfort zone. He didn’t even have a pair of training wheels.
Unable to resist it, he gently pulled Kate back into his arms and buried his face in her hair. What if I can’t be the guy you need? he thought desperately. Hell, I’m not ready.
His business required constant travel, and the camp would soon need a lot of his energy. But letting her go…His arms tightened around her. Jordan stared into the dark for a long time before he found a solution. What they needed to do was to slow this down. Maybe that way he stood a better chance of quantifying his feelings for her, of controlling them. Of not blowing it.
KATE WOKE SLOWLY, letting sensations trickle into her consciousness, where she examined them idly before putting them aside like puzzle pieces to fit together later.
There was a radiant heater the length of her back. Her breasts were cold, though covered with something fine and soft.
She ached as though she’d been horseback riding, which was silly because she was scared of horses and had never ridden anything bigger than—
An image slammed into her brain—Jordan in surrender to her, hands behind his head, powerful biceps exciting her to tease just a little more while he looked up at her astride him, his eyes narrowed in appreciative torment.
She opened her own a crack. His long hair lay across her breasts. She closed her eyes again quickly and wondered which feeling was strongest. Embarrassment, exhilaration, guilt, panic.
He was the only man she’d slept with other than Peter, and she didn’t know what the etiquette was. It wasn’t as if she could sneak home; they were in the middle of the forest, for Pete’s—no, not Pete—for pity’s sake. Jordan probably didn’t even want her there—
Suddenly she lay flat on her back, his eyes inches from her own, his hair falling like a curtain, enclosing them in their own private world.
“You promised me, no regrets or self-recrimination.”
“How did you know I was awake?”
“If you’d stiffened up any more, I could have used you as an ironing board.” He looked at her swollen mouth with satisfaction. “I think that’s probably the only thing we didn’t do last night.”
“Oh, God,” croaked Kate, as she remembered she’d said that she loved him, and her passionate declaration had been met with silence.
Jordan rolled over onto his back, with her nerveless body gathered in his arms. “I think I’ve created a monster.”
“Don’t,” she groaned, “I can’t bear it.”
“You’re going to have to bear it.” He slid his hand purposefully down her back. “I’m nowhere near done with you yet.”
They had no future; still, her heart needed to confirm what her head already knew. Tracing a bull’s-eye over his chest, Kate said lightly, “So where do we go from here?”
She could feel the tension in his body, but he answered equally lightly, “Do we need a destination yet?”
She wrapped her pride closely around her. “Absolutely not. I’m barely out of a long-term relationship, and you…well, you’re you.”
If anything, he tensed up more. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It’s okay, Jordan, I have no expectations.”
He paused before saying, “Last night you said you loved me.”
“Oh, God, don’t bring that up!” She forced a laugh. “Heat of the moment stuff.”
He pulled her up so they were eye to eye. “You said it twice,” he said slowly. “The second time when you were falling asleep.”
Was he intent on humiliating her? Bent on self-protection now, she said, “Habit, sorry.”
“Because of Peter.” His tone was flat.
She’d never said it to Peter, but Kate seized the excuse. “I’m sure I’ll stop soon.”
Jordan’s expression darkened. “Do you even want to see me again?”
“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about this,” she said reasonably.
Neither did he. She was telling him he was a rebound guy, removing all pressure, and Jordan was furious. “Is this a one-night stand to you, Kate?”
She flinched. “No, but I’m not going to pretend we have a future. Let’s keep this fun, keep it light, see what happens.”
“And what if I don’t want a relationship with you on those terms?”
“They’re your terms,” she said quietly, “and it’s not just about what you want, is it, Jordan?”
She was very close to telling him to go to hell. Jordan made himself calm down. Why was he even arguing? She was right, those were his terms. And he should be counting himself lucky he had a woman who understood them.
“Okay,” he said, “we’ll see what happens…when I do this.” He nipped her neck where he’d discovered she liked it, felt the shock of pleasure shudder through her.
“And this…” He trailed kisses down her body, stopping short of a nipple, watched it peak in anticipation under his slow, deliberate breaths. Kate stirred restlessly.
“Okay,” she whispered, “you’ve made your point.”
“I haven’t even started.” If all she wanted from him was a good time, then he was going to give her a very good time. So good she’d keep coming back for more.
IT WAS LATE MORNING before they were within sight of the small settlement that was their final destination. Only the fact that they were meeting Mike and Dillon had dragged them away from the bittersweet pleasure of exploring each other’s bodies.
Kate looked at the two figures waiting beside the vehicles, and her paddling slowed. Once they landed, this idyll would be over.
Jordan scanned the shore for a docking point. “I need to go back to our local base for an hour or so, catch up on operations.”
Silently, Kate picked up her pace again. For most of this trip she’d been living outside her comfort zone physically and mentally, but as she stared at the placid river and the wild and beautiful landscape for the last time, she experienced a sense of loss so acute it brought tears to her eyes.
“So how does it feel to be back in civilization?” Mike joked as he and Dillon helped them drag the canoe onto the bank.
Kate looked around, but saw only a cluster of tiny houses and one shop, almost smothered in goods. The brochure racks proclaimed it a visitor center; the displays of fruit and vegetables, a grocery store; and the bucket of brooms and mops, a hardware store. “I’m giddy with excitement,” she said.
Dillon had already made a friend of Doug, the bushman transporting their canoes. She listened with amusement as the boy talked a mile a minute about his adventures, then looked at her lover, to share the joke. But, intent on unloading, Jordan didn’t glance up. So she said her farewells to Dillon and Mike. Dillon gave her a big hug. “Will I see you again, Kate?”
“Yes,” answered Jordan, “you will.”
“I hope so,” she said, unwilling to make promises she might not be able to keep. Who knew how long she and Jordan would last?
Mike looked from Jordan to her, and gave Kate a hug. “I hope so, too.” He shook Jordan’s hand. “You’ll be getting a wedding invitation in the near future.”
Jordan grinned. “I’m glad.” He picked Dillon up and gave him a bear hug. “Next time we go on a fishing trip, bring your dad…I need bait.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Mike, “you just want a medic on hand in case you have any more fainting spells, princess.”
Jordan shot a glance at Doug, then lowered his voice. “Didn’t we make an arrangement about that?”
“We did, but it wasn’t time specific. I figured twenty-four hours.”
“Mike,” Jordan said in alarm, “we need to talk.”
Mike winked. “Have your people call my people. Goodbye, Kate.”
&nbs
p; After they’d left, Kate finished unloading the gear. Her fingers touched Jordan’s as she handed over her life jacket, and this time their eyes met. His answering smile was as brief and polite as a stranger’s. Kate dropped her arm and took an instinctive step backward.
Jordan slammed the boot. “I’ll see you back in Auckland.”
“Thanks for the trip,” she answered formally.
He looked at her sharply. “It’s not over yet.”
Kate nodded to Doug. “Nice to meet you, too.”
Jordan handed the man some coins. “Nip into the store and get us some chocolate, will you, mate?”
Kate was standing by her car, burrowing for her keys, when she found herself spun around and thoroughly kissed. “Listen, prickles, in case you’ve forgotten, you’ve got to broadcast that broken engagement before we go public. Doug doesn’t say much, but what he does say will be in Auckland before we are. I’ll call you as soon as I get back.”
Kate nodded, feeling like a fool. She’d been so wrapped up in the romance she hadn’t thought about repercussions in the real world. She’d told Peter she’d maintain their phony engagement for another three weeks.
Before she could discuss it with Jordan, Doug came back and the two men left. Deep in thought, Kate turned on her cell phone and waded through twenty messages. One was from Danny.
“Hey, Katie, had dinner with Dad. I was calling to give you an update, but it’s probably better to do it in person, so I’ll leave it until we get home. See you in a week.” She played it again, trying to pick up some clue from her brother’s pitch, but static made it impossible.
If Kate needed another reminder that she was back in the real world, arriving in Auckland at rush hour provided it. Her apartment was cold, the mail neatly stacked on her hall table by a kind neighbor.
She’d forgotten to empty a vase of flowers, and the familiar smell of vegetative decay made her chuckle—a chuckle that caught in her throat when she spotted her father’s handwriting on one of the letters.
Normally she returned his correspondence unopened, but she hesitated, remembering her promise to Mike. Without giving herself time to chicken out, she ripped open the envelope. “My darling girl…”
Kate closed her eyes, feeling a rush of emotion. When she was little, Cliff had always called her that. But before she could read any further the doorbell rang.
Peter was standing on the doorstep.
“Pete,” she said, surprised, “How did you know I was back?”
“I called your office, and they said you’d rung in.”
“I guess you’ve come for the ring.”
He followed her into the hall. “Actually, the decision on my shareholding has been postponed an extra week. I need you to go along with the engagement for another month.”
Kate’s phone started ringing. She ignored it. “I was going to give you a call about that. Something’s happened that makes it difficult.”
Jordan’s voice kicked in on the answering machine. “Hey, babe, I have to go to Queenstown for a couple of days, but keep Monday night free. We might even try sex in a bed. How about wear—”
Mortified, Kate dived for the off button, then turned to see Peter’s face suffused with color. “Surely, you’re not so stupid as to fall for one of Jordan King’s lines?”
Her embarrassment turned to defiance. “Why not? I was stupid enough to believe all yours. How do you think I felt when I discovered you’d crawled to Jordan, apologizing for me?”
“He told you, I suppose.”
Kate looked at him steadily. “Did he lie, Peter?”
He couldn’t hold her gaze. “Damn it, I thought my job was on the line.”
“I don’t want to trade recriminations with you,” she said. “Let’s just accept that a marriage between us would never have lasted.”
“It would have lasted a damn sight longer than you and King will!” He ran a scathing eye over her bedraggled appearance. “You might have held his interest in the wilderness, but you won’t last five minutes against real competition.”
Kate went to the front door and held it wide. “Goodbye, Peter.”
“Damn it, Kate, I hope you’re going to honor our deal.” He seemed to realize he was shooting himself in the foot, because he was all conciliation again. “I’m sorry, but you can see why I’m upset.”
“Yes,” she said tiredly. “You want that shareholding and you think being engaged to me will get it for you. Image is everything, isn’t it, Peter? For old times’ sake, I’ll give you a week. Use it whichever way you think best. But I won’t live a lie any longer than that.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“WHERE THE HELL have you been?” Jordan demanded into his car phone. “I’m too busy to be worried about you.”
Hearing the annoyance in his tone made him even more irritated. His conflict wasn’t with Kate; it was with himself.
When she didn’t answer, Jordan sighed. “I’m sorry.” Realizing the speedometer had crept well over the speed limit, he slowed down. “I’ve been imagining you in some ditch between here and Whanganui.”
He’d been running from one crisis to another ever since he’d left her. Seemed like Triton had a thousand operational problems needing his attention. And then there was that heli-skiing operator in Queenstown who was thinking of selling. Did Triton want first option?
Hell, yes! Christian had been drooling over the business for two years. He and Luke were satisfied; it only needed Jordan to fly down and make an operational assessment, and quickly, before competitors got wind of the deal. Part of him was glad to go. A few days apart from Kate would give him a chance to get his head straight.
“I’m fine,” she said over the phone.
Immediately, Jordan started looking for the nearest exit off the motorway. “You’ve been crying.”
“Peter heard your message….”
“It was bad,” he stated quietly.
“Awful, but I don’t want to talk about it.” There was a catch in her voice, quickly controlled. “I promised Peter I’d give him a week before we officially break off our engagement, so you and I need to keep our relationship secret.”
“You don’t want to go back to him, do you?”
There was a long and terrible pause. “Would you want me to?”
Jordan made himself say the right thing. “It’s not about what I want.” There was another gut-wrenching silence. “Don’t you dare,” he said vehemently. So much for self-sacrifice.
Her laughter put his fears to rest. “I won’t. Incidentally, where are you?”
“Driving to the airport.” Ahead, an exit sign appeared, and Jordan wavered. It flashed by as he made his decision. She was okay now, and this deal was too important. He’d spent the long drive back to Auckland thinking about what she’d said in the tent, and come to the conclusion that they’d reached the best possible arrangement. But he couldn’t stop himself saying, “Miss me.”
“Have a good trip,” she said softly.
Jordan hesitated. To hell with it. “I’ll miss you,” he said. But Kate had already hung up.
TRENDY, RAUCOUS AND brightly lit, the Bar wasn’t an ideal venue for an assignation with your secret lover—except on Monday nights. Hank, the owner, was American, and after the NFL football season back home, he reran key games, hoping for converts. Instead, he effectively cleared the place out.
Having spent some time in the States and been educated in the rules of the game, Jordan enjoyed the NFL and often kept poor Hank company over a Budweiser while they relived the highlights. But not tonight. Tonight he was meeting Kate.
He couldn’t believe how nervous he was. Nervous enough to be thirty minutes early. Nervous enough to be checking his watch every ten minutes and his text messages every five.
Jordan took another gulp of his beer and realized he’d finished his second. He needed to slow down, get a grip on himself, peel his eyes off the entrance. He felt like a goddamn Labrador waiting for its owner to come home. So much for
using our separation to regain some perspective.
Deliberately, he looked at the screen and watched a couple of plays, but his attention swung back to the door as soon as he heard it open. And his heart sank.
A gaggle of laughing, inebriated women poured in, led by a sexy blonde with a bridal veil askew on her glossy head.
“I thought you said this place was wild, Imogen,” complained a baby-faced brunette who was using the door for support. “Plen’ee of talent.”
“It usually is.” Disconsolately the blonde scanned the bar, and Jordan slunk back into the booth. Please don’t see me. Please don’t— A squeal rent the air. “It’s okay, girls, Jord’s here.”
Half-a-dozen pairs of stilettos clip-clopped across the floor, sounding like a herd of My Little Ponies. With no help for it, Jordan smiled and stood up. “Immy, hey, you’re on your hen night.”
“Yep, so make the most of your last opportunity to kiss the bride,” she said, and laid a smacker on him that tasted of four hours of serious drinking.
Jordan managed to keep his mouth closed despite her best efforts, and Immy stumbled back, clearly puzzled. “Oops. Guess I’m drunker than I thought. Thanks for keepin’ me honest, hon.”
Over Immy’s shoulder, Jordan’s gaze met Kate’s. For a split second he thought he saw hurt in her eyes, but then she waved. His heart started pounding; his palms got clammy.
“So…” said Immy, “this is my friend Sarah an’ Tanya an’ Melanie an’ Ruth an—”
“Kate.” Jordan reached through the press of women and pulled her to his side. He bent his head to kiss her, but she averted her face so his lips brushed her cheek. He’d forgotten they were playing it cool in public.
“Hi, Kate,” squealed Immy, full of alcohol-induced joy. The others didn’t look so pleased. “You must be Jord’s new—”
“Friend.” Kate loosened his grip. “We’re just friends.” Jordan slid his hand down the curve of her sweet ass, and she jumped and lifted it back around her waist.