by Helen Vera
“What is it this time?” I raise an intimidating eyebrow. She swallows nervously and approaches my desk like a soldier approaching a minefield.
“I forgot to tell you that Steven Bradshaw, a lawyer from CCB Law, came in earlier and dropped off a brown envelope with your name on it.” She tells me.
“This must be related to our joint case.” I get up from my chair and hand her the yellow folder. “I’ll take a look at the envelope later. In the meantime, send this over to the archives and let me know how it goes.”
“Okay. I will.”
Laughter echoes down the corridor accompanied by the distinctive sound of a ping-pong ball.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”
They say that when the cat’s away, the mice will play. In my case, the mice are my junior lawyers who seem to think that they can do whatever they like in my absence. I catch the fuckers playing a game of ping-pong in the conference room. There was a net in the middle of the table and a cooler filled with soda and juice on the carpet near the glass doors.
I take a deep, calming breath and concentrate on not losing my shit because if I lose my shit, the five of them will end up in body bags. I bang on the glass, startling the hell out of them. They all freeze and turn their heads slowly in my direction.
They take one look at my face and scatter like water bugs.
“You too, Lucas?” I shake my head in disappointment at the brightest kid in the group. He’s a Harvard graduate with a talent for divorce cases. He apologizes and rushes back to his office.
“What the fuck is happening to this law firm?!” I say out loud.
I enter the conference room and pick up one of the ping pong paddles. I can definitely imagine spanking Vivian’s peachy ass with it. I grab the other one from the table and head over to Lucas’s office. I need to figure out the reason behind this behavior.
Lucas looks guilty as fuck as he clears out his desk. I watch him from the doorway for a few seconds. He kind of reminds me of myself when I was his age. “What are you doing?”
“kissing my career goodbye.” He responds.
I step into the small office and slam the door shut behind me. “I had no idea you were such a whiny pussy. Just so you know, no one’s getting fired today. As a matter of fact, I’m willing to let this go under one condition.”
He looks damn relieved to hear my words. “What is it?”
“I want you to explain to me why you and your colleagues insist on breaking my office rules.”
Lucas seems reluctant to tell me the truth. He tugs nervously on his black tie and avoids making eye contact. “I love working here, but you um..” He swallows. “The office politics are based on fear, not respect.”
“So this is basically your roundabout way of saying that no one respects me.”
Lucas nods. “Certain people find your constant appearance on TMZ and the tabloids off-putting. You tell us all to behave and work hard, yet you turn around and punch people in the face. A great leader is supposed to set a good example for his followers.”
Fuck. I had no idea those bastards felt this way. His refreshing honesty leaves me speechless. He’s definitely given me plenty of food for thought.
“Unpack your shit and get back to work.”
I head over to Alison’s desk and she instantly freezes like a deer in the headlights.
“Alison?”
“Yes?”
“Do I really scare you that much?”
She nods and adjusts her black-rimmed glasses. “Sometimes, my stomach hurts late at night from the stress you put me through.” She blurts out. The words seem to have slipped out without her permission because she quickly apologizes and covers her mouth.
“Jesus.” I turn around and walk down the long corridor. My kingdom is built on fear, but what good is fear without a generous amount of respect?
22
VIVIAN
Andrew’s safe is finally here along with the rest of his belongings. They currently occupy a small corner in my spare bedroom. His phone, wallet, and watch are in a transparent evidence bag. These personal items are basically all I have left of him. I sigh and sit across from the safe with Lucy playing on the carpet beside me. I need to open that monstrous thing and finally find out what Andrew’s been hiding from me.
My heart is beating faster in my chest. I have a bad feeling about this. “Come on. You can do this.” I get up and walk over to the safe. The key is already in the lock, but I need to figure out the combination. Andrew’s phone suddenly comes to life. It startles the hell out of me. I can feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. My fingers shake as I watch the screen flash on and off with an incoming phone call. Who on earth would call a dead person’s number?
The phone suddenly stops ringing. I rest my forehead against the cool metal and try to calm myself down. Lucy giggles as she plays with her teddy bear, blissfully unaware of my inner turmoil. I feel like Andrew’s ghost is haunting me right now, like I’m being watched. My stomach’s tied in knots. I need to get this over with, but I’m way too scared.
I get up and pour myself a glass of wine in the kitchen. I’m in desperate need of a dose of liquid courage. I carry the glass with me to the bedroom and stare at the intimidating safe. I drink half a glass before sitting down in front of Pandora’s box. I need to figure out the stupid combination. Andrew was always crafty when it came to his passwords. He’d constantly change his Facebook password so I don’t accidentally log into his account, and his iPhone password was changed every month. Funny how all the things he kept hidden from me are now within my reach.
I try dialing his birthday, but the safe remains locked. I then try our anniversary, his mother’s birthday, my birthday, but still the stubborn safe refuses to open. Frustrated, I try Lucy’s birthday. Nothing. “What the hell, Andrew?!”
My daughter stops playing and looks at me like I’m crazy. “Time for a nap, young lady.”
I tuck her in and put the teddy bear known as Knight Junior beside her. She holds him tight and closes her eyes like a good little girl. “I love you, munchkin.”
She falls asleep almost instantly, leaving me alone with Andrew’s ghost. I return to the spare bedroom and sit cross-legged in front of the damn safe. I finish the rest of my wine and get to work. I try random combinations before finally giving up. “I should have known you were going to make this difficult for me. Murder does not absolve you from your sins, Andrew. The truth will come out whether you like it or not.”
The stupid phone starts ringing again. The ringtone is loud and extremely annoying. I take a look at the screen and discover a woman called Tammy calling. Her photo appears in the background. She’s blond with insanely big breasts. Anger fills me like never before. Anger at Andrew for dying without giving me any closure. For dying without saying sorry for all the times he cheated on me. He broke my heart so many times that I eventually lost count. He made me feel unloved and insecure. He treated me like shit when we decided to get separated. He even treated his own baby like a stranger!
“Fuck you, Andrew!” I bang my fist against the iron door. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
I get up and grab his phone from inside the evidence bag. The battery is full thanks to the police who took the memory card. Tammy’s name is still flashing on the screen. My frustration turns into anger as I slam the phone into the wall. The way it shatters into many irreparable pieces gives me a sense of satisfaction I’ve never felt before. I spot a small box peeking out from behind the safe. I drag it closer to me and remove the lid. The box is packed with plenty of breakable stuff. I pick up two snow globes and smash them against the wall. I turn into a mad woman, shouting and breaking the souvenirs he collected during his so called business trips.
It feels good to release all of this pent-up anger and frustration. Now I know how Jax feels when he unleashes his anger inside the rage room. His new business venture took off without a hitch two days ago. People were lining up to try this brand new
phenomenon which he imported all the way from Japan. I finally run out of stuff to smash. The only thing left inside the box is a framed photo of Andrew and his partners. I notice a series of numbers printed on the lower left corner. This must be the day he officially joined the law firm. A light bulb suddenly goes off in my head. I crouch down and use the date to unlock the safe. It freaking works!
The door opens to reveal five stacks of cash among other things. Dread fills me to the brim as I carry the items and inspect them one by one. The first item is a folder containing birth and marriage certificates. The second item is a small photo album filled with nude female selfies. I flip through the scandalous photos and recognize a few familiar faces from Andrew’s law firm. Some of them had the nerve to come up to me and offer their condolences the other day!
“How typical of him.” I throw the album over my shoulders, not caring where it lands. The room is a mess, but I honestly couldn’t care less. I had other things to worry about.
I discover a fake Australian passport complete with a fake name and birth date. The photo on the first page shows a platinum blond version of Andrew wearing glasses. Why on earth did he own a fake passport? My gut instinct tells me to stop digging, but I ignore it and remove the stacks of cash. My hand suddenly bumps into something cold and hard at the back of the safe. I wrap my fingers around it and pick it up. It feels like a gun.
Oh shit! It is a gun.
My blood runs cold. I drop the weapon and watch it fall on the carpet before running out of the room like it’s on fire.
23
JAX
I drive my Maserati at full speed, eager to get to Vivian. She sounded freaked out and terrified of some gun she found in her husband’s safe. Alarm bells start ringing in my head. I drive like a maniac past Central Park and take a shortcut to her house by going against traffic. Cars honk their horns and flip me the bird, but I ignore them and make a u-turn. I pull up in front of her townhouse in less than three seconds and jump out of the car without locking it.
The door swings open and she’s finally in my arms. My heart is pounding like a fucking bass drum. I squeeze her to my chest and bury my face in her hair. “Jax! thank God you’re here. I didn’t know who else to call.” She hugs me back just as tight.
I grab her cold hands and lead her towards the living room. She still looks shaken up. Her face is pale and she looks like she’s on the verge of crying. I rub her arms soothingly and try to get her to sit down, but she says no. “I need to show you everything before Lucy wakes up. I don’t want her to see me like this.”
“Okay.” I nod. My first instinct is to hide her behind my back as we approach the spare bedroom, but she pushes past me and opens the door.
“What the fuck happened in here?”
There’s broken glass everywhere, scattered all over the carpet like sugar crystals.
“I kind of threw a mini temper tantrum and broke a bunch of stuff.” She admits, looking embarrassed as fuck.
“Welcome to the club.” I follow her inside and spot the gun lying on the carpet next to the safe.
“Is it loaded?”
“I have no idea.” She shakes her head and sits on the bed.
I crouch down and examine the safe. I notice something taped under the middle shelf. It looks like a small brown envelope. I reach down and carefully remove the scotch tape. The envelope falls into my open palm.
“Jesus. I wonder what’s in there.” Vivian sounds anxious, and to be honest, so am I.
Suspense fills the room as I slowly open the envelope. Four carefully folded papers slide into my hand. I get up and lean against the wall, scanning the first page before moving on to the next one. The papers disclose sensitive information regarding the construction site Andrew was murdered in.
Fuck. So this is what killed the bastard. No wonder he kept this hidden in his safe. These papers will prove everything. Goosebumps rise along my flesh as I stare at the handgun on the carpet.
Vivian is unusually quiet, so I reach out and rub her tense shoulders. “Are you okay babe?”
She nods and keeps staring at that fucking gun. “Why did Andrew keep a gun in his office?”
“For protection, I guess.”
“Protection from what?”
I bend down and pick it up. It’s a nine millimeter Colt pistol. I make sure the hammer is not in a cocked position before pushing the cylinder latch with my thumb. Vivian hides behind me and looks at the gun while I check the damn weapon for bullets.
“Fuck. There’s a bullet missing.”
“Oh God.” She gasps. “Are you sure?”
“I am.”
I push the cylinder back into place and return the gun to the safe. Vivian paces the cluttered carpet, her furry slippers make crunching noises as she steps on the broken glass. She starts crying and tells me that she’s scared. Scared of what the gun symbolizes and sick of people keeping secrets from her. I swallow the lump in my throat and pull her into my arms. Guilt washes over me as she sobs into my jacket.
I’ve never seen her look this distraught before. Not even when she broke down in her office months ago. “Vivian, listen to me.” I cup her face in my hands and force her to look at me. “Do not let Andrew and his demons take over your life. He does not deserve your fucking tears.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you crying? The bastard’s not around to hurt you anymore. He’s gone, but I’m here. If anyone touches a single hair on your head, I swear to God I’ll end them.”
“Jax. Promise me you’ll stay out of trouble. If you end up in jail because of me, I’ll never forgive you. Do you understand me?”
“Yes.”
“Promise me,” She demands, holding my gaze defiantly.
How can I say no to those fucking doe eyes?
“I promise you.”
I thread my fingers through her long hair and lean forward to kiss her. I taste her tears on my lips as she stands on her tip toes and deepens the kiss. I can’t afford to lose her, not even to a dead man. My arms squeeze her tighter to my chest. She’s cold and so fragile right now.
Our kiss lasts long enough for me to ease her fears. I lead her to the kitchen and make her a warm cup of tea. She stubbornly gets up to clean the mess she made in the bedroom, but I order her to sit down and finish her tea. I grab the vacuum cleaner from the closet and get rid of the mess myself.
Lucy wakes up to find us baking in the kitchen. Vivian and I found a recipe for apple pie on Youtube, so we decided to give it a try. There’s nothing better than dessert to get your mind off guns, murder, and dead fuckers. I wear the apron just to put a smile on their faces. Lucy begs me to carry her, so I twirl her around the big kitchen before placing her in her high chair. I hand her a wooden spoon and take over kneading the dough from Vivian.
“Dada!”
“Eat your pie, Lucy.”
Naturally, my pie is a work of art. I always knew I was good with my hands, but this baking talent of mine surprises the hell out of me. Even Vivian is impressed. I watch her feed Lucy a small piece of pie. She looks much better, at least on the outside, but I can still see the fear in her eyes.
“You are full of surprises, Jax Knight.” She smiles.
We eat our plates in comfortable silence and watch the snow cover the backyard.
There’s a storm coming. I can feel it in my bones.
Lucy showers me with air kisses even though her mouth is full. My heart does that weird flutter again, and I know that I love this kid as if she were my own flesh and blood.
I’d do anything to protect them both.
Anything.
24
VIVIAN
“Dude, your boyfriend and his trendy rage room are making headlines all over the place.”
“Really?”
Sue nods and reads me the latest news about Jax’s latest business venture. “Bad boy extraordinaire, Jax Knight has opened a Japanese inspired anger room where you can unleash your rage in a safe and controlled e
nvironment. Celebrities from all over New York flocked to try this creative concept. Taylor Swift was last seen coming out of the rage room building in Soho.”
“Whoa. Taylor Swift?”
“Yep. It says here that she has her eyes set on him which is total bullshit. I know for a fact that she has a secret boyfriend.” Sue jokes.