by Chloe Lang
“He might go about it in the wrong way, Paris, but you know it comes from his heart. He’s never stopped pushing me, and I doubt he ever will.”
“I know. It’s one of the things that make him the man that I love. But I fully expect him to have another excuse for us keeping our relationship in a holding pattern. I’m betting he’ll tell us he wants to wait until he gets back to Destiny and gets set up in my dad’s practice. Another year. I’m tired of waiting. I love him, and I love you. I do. Seeing him in the ER take charge made me love him all the more. But we’ve waited long enough, Mick. You have your law degree. I’ve gotten my bachelor’s and master’s in nursing. It’s time to veer from Dustin’s plan.”
“Baby, he’s got another six months of his residency left.”
“Don’t make excuses for him. It’s time to get serious. I keep asking myself why he’s put this off for so long. Am I the reason?”
“No, sweetheart. It’s him. It’s how his brain works. He always wants his ducks in a row.”
“Maybe so, but I have a heart, needs, and dreams. I’ve been putting them on the back burner for far too long. I want a future with you both, but I’m beginning to believe that may never happen. He needs to commit to this. I’m done waiting.”
Just then, Dustin walked into the cafeteria.
Mick waved him over. “Let him get some sleep first before we talk to him about this, okay?”
Being completely exhausted, she agreed. “Yes. But tomorrow I’m going to tell him how I feel.”
Dustin sat down next to her, pushing some papers in front of her. “Read these.”
She could tell he wasn’t just tired. He was also in a foul mood. Did something else happen in the ER after Mick and I left?
Glancing down at the first page, she saw a name and number. “What’s this?”
“I want you to call this lady tomorrow morning to set up an appointment. She’s the dean of admissions of my medical school. She’s expecting your call.”
“Dustin, I’ve told you over and over I do not want to be a doctor.” I’m not good enough.
“Damn it, Paris. I saw you in the ER with that little girl. You saved her life. You have talent.”
“Yes, I do. Nursing talent.”
He slammed his fists down on the table. “Anybody can be a nurse, but not everyone can be a doctor.”
“Anybody? You’re such an ass.” I have a mind to prove him wrong and go get my medical degree in Nevada after all.
“I might be an ass but I know you should be a doctor, Paris.”
“This is just another one of your excuses, Dustin, to put off committing to our relationship. Right? You want me to move here to Phoenix, enter medical school, and wait to get engaged until I finish. Tell me I’m wrong.”
“Dammit, Paris, we can get engaged any time.”
Mick looked Dustin straight in the eye. “Calm down, bro. Can’t you see she loves being a nurse?”
“And she’ll love being a doctor.” Dustin’s face was red. “There’s a ton of doctors in the world but only a few great ones like your dad. You have the talent and that genius brain of yours to be just as great as him—hell, maybe greater. So what if we wait to get engaged until you get your license?”
“So it doesn’t matter what I want? What I need?” Trembling with anger and hurt, she stood. “It’s all about you and your damn plans, Dustin. I’ve had enough. I’m done. It’s over.” She turned to Mick. “Please take me back to Destiny.”
* * * *
Present
Destiny, Colorado
Paris handed the bowl of ice cream to little Hayden. “Chocolate, just like you ordered, young man.”
“Yummy.” Hayden sat up in the bed and took the bowl and spoon.
Hayden was one of the orphans from the Boys Ranch, so Amber and Belle had been by his hospital bedside the entire time except when he’d been taken back to surgery to remove his tonsils. Belle was nearly seven months along in her pregnancy. Her baby was due in August, while Amber’s was due any day. Both women looked beautiful.
“Small bites, sweetheart,” Belle said. “The ice cream is going to taste good but it might hurt your throat a little.”
The boy nodded and took his first taste. He smiled. “It does hurt some, Aunt Belle, but I’m tough.”
Amber kissed him on the cheek. “Tough as nails.” She turned to Paris. “You think Doc will release him today?”
“Normally, he likes to keep the kids here one night, but as well as Hayden is doing, he might make an exception.”
“No exceptions, nurse.” Dustin walked into Hayden’s room. “He’s with us tonight.”
Same old Dustin. Nothing has changed.
“Yes, of course, doctor, as you wish.” She kept her tone civil.
Dustin took Hayden’s chart. He rubbed his chin, which sported the dark shadow of stubble it always had. “You are doing well, young man. Very well.”
“Paris gave me chocolate ice cream. She even told me I could have as much as I like.”
His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, she did, did she?”
“Doc, is there any chance you could release him today?” Amber asked. “We’ll make sure he rests.”
“Why so anxious to get him back to the Boys Ranch?”
“We have a lot to do before my baby comes. You know those last-minute details.”
Belle reached over and squeezed her hand. “Amber, if you need to get back, I can stay with Hayden tonight.”
The love between the sisters warmed Paris’s heart. Both women had become close friends to her. Being an only child had never bothered Paris, but now she felt like she had two sisters in them, which was wonderful.
“Belle, you have enough to deal with.” Amber turned to Dustin. “If you really think Hayden needs to stay overnight, I completely under—oh.” Her hand went to her tummy. “That hurts.”
“Looks like you and Hayden may both be staying overnight.” Dustin smiled, reminding Paris why she was still in love with him. His dark thick hair, chiseled features, and dedication to his patients were just a few of the things she adored. The smile faded as he turned to her, tearing her heart a little more. “Get the examining room ready for Amber. I want to check her.”
“Yes, sir.” She exited the room quickly, feeling heat in her face and not wanting him to see her cheeks turn red.
Why had she agreed to work at the practice in Destiny that Dustin had taken over from her dad? Twelve months had passed and things were exactly as she’d left them ten years ago. Nowhere.
No one knew about her degrees from the University of Nevada or her certifications from the same state, including her father.
With her degrees, she could’ve gone anywhere in the country. She’d returned because deep down, she wanted to come home to Destiny to collect her thoughts, still feeling completely inadequate for the career she’d trained for. She’d also hoped to find a different Dustin. But he hadn’t changed. Not one damn bit.
I need to collect my thoughts again. Music was always her go-to for that. She plugged in her ear buds to her cell and selected one of her favorite Gya Gaynor songs. God, that woman can sing.
The words Gya sang broke Paris’s heart and she began to cry.
It’s too late for us, my love,
I know you must be free.
I thought we’d always be together,
But that can never be.
The fire at the clinic last year had shaken her to her core. Had it not been for the volunteer firemen, she would’ve died in that blaze. Dustin had actually changed for a bit back then, but had quickly returned to his old ways once he knew she was okay. The hot and cold of their professional relationship, which was all that was left, continued to boil and freeze almost ever since.
She looked at the examining room, which was already set up. “What kind of preparation does he need? It looks fine to me.”
She took a deep breath, hoping to quell her frustration before Dustin came in with Amber.
No one kne
w about the job offer she had. Not Dustin or Mick.
Secrets. They just keep getting bigger and bigger.
But the one that crushed her every day was the one she had to keep to herself. Crazy, how she’d been able to keep such a thing from everyone in her life. It had started simple enough, with plans to eventually confess. It was clear to her that Dustin thought she’d met someone while away. It was better he thought that than what she was actually keeping from him. That was real betrayal. Now, after so long, she doubted she would ever tell Dustin and Mick. Why? It wasn’t like she was going to do anything differently, despite all the work she’d done during her years away.
Leaving Destiny forever would be one of the hardest things she would ever do, but she didn’t feel like she had any other choice. Here, she was a nurse, plain and simple. That was what she was comfortable being. But it wasn’t going to be much longer.
She closed her eyes, recalling so many secretive days. Reading her acceptance letter to medical school. Attending her first class—Gross Anatomy. Getting her medical degree in the mail, since she’d refused to attend graduation. Her exact words when reading it had been a lackluster “Woohoo. Now what? I really don’t care.”
Her heart had remained broken since Phoenix. Still was broken to this day.
She’d passed Nevada State’s boards. Finished her three years of surgical residency. She’d even taken the Colorado boards, passing them with ease, believing one day she would return to Destiny and practice medicine. Never happening. All of those days were hers alone. She’d gone through all that work, expecting something to trip her up and stop the forward momentum. More than expecting, hoping for a detour. But nothing had stopped her. Except my own doubt.
Guilt continued to weigh on her. She should’ve opened up to Dustin and Mick long ago and told them the truth. She’d come close so many times, but fear kept her silent.
If Dustin found out about her secret, she was afraid of what he would think of her. Their professional relationship was strained at times as it was these days. Their friendship almost nonexistent, despite Mick’s best efforts. How different things were before, when love was still new and they were so very young. She grinned, remembering the first time they’d taken her to Phase Four, the BDSM club in Destiny. They were home from college on winter break and she’d been so nervous. Actually, all three of them had been. Though Dustin and Mick had completed their Dom training, they were still very new at it.
Arm in arm, she walked into one of the private rooms of Phase Four with her two guys, her two Doms. They wore their new leathers, which made them look so powerful and sexy. Pride filled her, knowing how hard they’d worked just for her. “I can’t believe we’re actually inside.”
“We are and we’re going to have so much fun.” Dustin kissed her and she felt tingles shoot throughout her body.
“I’m excited but I feel so jittery,” she admitted to them. “I thought I was going to die when Mr. Gold asked for my ID.”
“Sweetheart, it’s just club policy,” Mick touched her on the cheek. “He knows you’re eighteen, but being your first time here he had to make a copy for the files.”
“Go take your clothes off and have a seat on the bench over there while Mick and I get things ready for you, baby.”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered and saw both of them smile broadly. She trusted them so much. They’d been her first and had been so very caring and gentle. That had only been a few months ago, but the passion that Dustin and Mick had released that night burned hotter and hotter each time they were together.
Looking at all the strange and interesting objects inside the room, she removed her top with trembling hands. She wondered what all of those things were for, but was hoping she would find out about some of them tonight.
She folded her top and placed it on a nearby chair. Dustin and Mick seemed frozen in place, with their eyes completely on her and nothing else.
“Damn it, Mick. We forgot about the safe words.”
“Shit, that’s right.”
“I know about safe words, guys.” She smiled. “That was part of the training I went through.”
“But we were supposed to settle on that before we started,” Mick said, shaking his head.
“It’s okay, brother. We’ll get that done now.” Dustin stepped forward and kissed her. “We could use the color method, baby. You know ‘green,’ ‘yellow,’ and ‘red.’”
“I actually have an idea, Sir, about some other words. Since Mick just passed the bar, why don’t we use legal terms?”
Mick laughed. “Seriously?”
“Of course. When Dustin finishes his residency in Phoenix we can use medical words then. I am so proud of you both for all you’ve accomplished.”
Dustin kissed her. “And we are so proud of you, too, sweetheart. An RN at eighteen. Who does that? Only someone as brilliant as you.”
“Hey, aren’t we getting sidetracked,” Mick said with a grin. “We came here to try some BDSM play, right?”
“Right, Sir,” she answered. “How about my safe word to stop is ‘overruled’?
“I like that.” Dustin turned to Mick. “It’s clear and to the point. What do you think?”
“It’ll work fine. She could say ‘sustained’ when she’s enjoying what we’re doing and ‘objection’ when she is getting too close to a…a…what did they call it in our class, Dustin?”
“A hard edge.”
“That’s it. Will that work for you, baby?”
“Yes. I love all the words, Sirs.”
“What state are you in now?” Dustin asked.
“Sustained, Sir. We haven’t done anything yet.”
He grinned. “Get the rest of your clothes off, sub, so we can.”
“Yes, Sir.” She was enjoying this more than she’d even imagined she would. She removed her bra and both her guys’ stares fell to her breasts.
Dustin let out a big hot sigh. “God, I never get tired of seeing your gorgeous body, baby.”
He always made her feel so beautiful.
“Take the rest off, sub,” Mick commanded in a tone she’d never heard come from him. It left no room for argument, only obedience, and it made her feel wonderfully excited.
Even though she’d been naked in front of them many times since their first time together, she felt a little shy in this room for some reason.
“What are you waiting for, sub?” Dustin grabbed her hand and squeezed lightly. “Mick gave you a command. We were taught to expect you to obey instantly.”
“Yes, Sir.” She slipped out of her skirt and stood in front of him and Dustin in only her thong, trembling like a leaf.
Mick grinned wickedly. “Since our sub hesitated, we should give her a spanking, bro.”
“I agree.” Dustin sat down on the bench and patted his lap. “Bend over me, sub.”
“Yes, Sir.” She leaned over his legs. “Like this?”
“Exactly like that.” Dustin’s hand landed on her ass and she felt a hot sting that shook her to her core in a way she never imagined. It was a mix of pain and pleasure that added to her anxiety and also her excitement.
Clearly concerned with her well being, Dustin asked softly, “What state are you in, sub?”
Her mind was spinning. What was the word she needed to say? “Objection. I mean…Overruled.”
“Oh God, I blew it already.” Dustin froze. “We’ll stop. Baby, whatever you need. It’s okay. This is all about you.”
“No. Sorry, Sir. Sustained. Oh God, sustained. That’s the word I mean. I like it. I want to feel more. Please.”
“Sit up, honey,” Dustin ordered, laughing.
Shaking, she answered. “Yes, Sir. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up like that. It’s just that…it felt…amazing.”
“You didn’t mess up, baby.” He kissed her. “We’re all new but we’ll get better at this. Together. I love you so much.”
Mick bent down and pressed his lips to hers. “I love you with all my heart. You are
ours, Paris Cottrell.”
“Now and forever,” Dustin added.
“I love you both, Masters.”
Paris sighed as the memory faded back into the recesses of her mind. Dustin had been so wonderful that night and many nights after. So had Mick. The three of them had discovered so much about each other. And then Dustin began pushing her to go to medical school.
Since their breakup, he’d made it crystal clear that he wasn’t willing to be just friends. Deep down, she knew Mick felt the same way, though he clearly played the game to make sure she remained in his life until they could be reconciled. There could be no reconciliation. How can there be with me holding back such a big secret?
Mick might understand, though she wasn’t so sure. But Dustin she was sure wouldn’t understand. He would be furious, and he would have every right to be. And then he would push like never before for her to start practicing medicine.
No, damn it. I’m a nurse, not a surgeon, despite the diploma. Yes, I performed a lot of surgeries, but there were always amazing surgeons around in case I made a mistake. I never made a mistake, but that didn’t matter. I knew they were close.
That’s why the job offer in Wilde appealed to her. Dr. Alex Champion was an amazing surgeon. One of the best. Being on his surgical staff would be difficult with her insecurities, but something she had to do, because in Destiny she was an RN. Period. And the only nursing job in her hometown kept her with him. Dustin, the most frustrating man she’d ever had to deal with, and also the one she continued to dream about at night.
She’d been out of hope for quite some time. Maybe when she moved to Wilde, the dreams she had night after night about the Ryder brothers would finally end.
Chapter Two
“Where is everyone, Katy?” Mick looked around the empty clinic’s waiting room. He really didn’t care where everyone was. He only cared about where Paris was, the woman of his dreams, with violet eyes and silky skin. “This is the quietest this place has been in ages.”
“Won’t be for long. Amber may be having her baby.” Dustin’s spitfire nurse smiled.