by Aimee McNeil
“Yes, please. I was hoping you could take me to the nearest bus stop.”
“Most definitely. I’m heading out anyway.” He turned back to the man in his company. “See you later, Frank.” Frank waved with a friendly smile before he started his truck and pulled away.
Lexie climbed into the cab when the driver opened the door for her. “It’s not too far.” He pushed his glassed up his nose and closed her door before circling around the car and climbing in. He was right; it was only a short drive. Lexie was nervous that the bus wouldn’t come before Jackson caught on to her.
“Thank you.” Lexie tried to hand him some cash, but he refused to take it, telling her he was off duty and it was his good deed for the day.
“Take care of yourself,” he said when Lexie climbed out of the car. She gave him a small wave before closing the door.
Lexie took her sweater out of her bag. Wrapping it around her, she pulled the hood up over her head. She slipped inside the bus stop shelter, trying to be as discreet as possible. Her nerves were wound tight in her stomach. She was worried Jackson would come tearing down the street and throw her into his car. She had no idea what he was capable of, and she needed to keep that in mind.
Lexie was on the edge of her seat when the bus pulled up ten minutes later. She jumped to her feet and approached it. Her stomach dropped when she caught sight of Jackson’s car in the intersection. The doors of the bus were barely open when she darted in. The bus driver seemed unconcerned with her frenzied entrance. He didn’t pay her any mind as she dropped money into the fare box. She watched Jackson’s car through the window as she found an empty seat. Quickly ducking down, she dared not look for fear he would see her. She could hear him speed up and tear off on the opposite side of the road.
Lexie released her breath and collapsed back into her seat. Her heart was racing so fast it felt like it was in her throat. When the bus pulled away, she breathed a sigh of relief. She glanced around at the other people sitting on the bus and noticed she was getting curious stares.
Sliding down out of sight, Lexie pulled her mother’s diary out of the bottom of her purse. She wished she had her phone. Her mother had no way to get a hold of her. Flipping it open to the last entry, she read. She tried to distract her mind with the search for answers in her mother’s words.
Jan.31
I spoke to the girl on the phone. Her name is Marsha Peterson. She seemed hesitant to speak to me at first, but I explained to her the situation and the missing girl. She finally agreed to meet me and talk. She wanted to meet at a coffee shop just outside of the city.
She didn’t show up…I waited for three hours. I tried calling her and no answer. She must have changed her mind.
Feb.6
Marsha Peterson’s body was found in the park a few days ago. I saw the headline in the news: “Woman’s Body Found In Park.” Even before I read her name, I had a sinking feeling I knew who it would be. A couple of children found her body in the bushes. They are saying that it looks like she overdosed. All I can think about is if I hadn’t called her maybe she would still be alive. Some days I wonder if it would just be best not to get up in the morning. I find it harder and harder to face the days knowing the world I am a part of.
Feb. 8
Every time I saw Marsha’s face on the news, I got a haunting feeling that I might meet the same fate someday. I went to her funeral, sat in the back, and listened to all the wonderful things people said about her.
Everyone wondered what happened to their bright, fun-loving Marsha that made her fall so far.
I wanted to stand on my seat and shout the truth. I wanted to tell them all that I knew who threw her on the dark path that eventually killed her, but I knew John’s men were watching me. I could see Mark, one of his goons, standing at the back of the church. His eyes were on me. I wish I wasn’t so scared; I wish I could be brave…I know John won’t be happy I went to the funeral. I know I will pay for this, but part of me yearns for the physical pain because it numbs the torment inside me.
Mar.9
I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did…his name is Dylan. He showed up in my bar with his dimples and blue eyes. I tried to stop it, I really did, but I fell for him. He plays every weekend and draws a full house. He is so handsome and incredibly talented. He has this amazing voice that pulls me inside out, and I can’t help but melt. I thought I was doing well, keeping things strictly friendly, but he confronted me tonight. I was checking inventory in the back room when he found me. I had forgotten what it was like to want to be with someone. For so long I have just survived. Dylan opened my eyes to the life I was missing. The life I want.
As happy as I am, I’m terrified John will find out about him. We have to keep it a secret.
Mar.20
I am walking on eggshells. I know Officer Finley wants me to dig deeper. I can tell he is restless, but he is always a gentleman. I feel bad I can’t give him the information he needs.
I think John watches me more than I realize.
I told Dylan we have to be careful, but he says that he can’t keep his feelings contained. It is beyond his control. I don’t feel like I deserve this piece of beautiful in my dark life, but I don’t know if I have the strength to let him go. He is the reason I still smile. I keep telling myself just one more kiss, one more touch, but I am addicted to this man.
May.11
I have been wrong my whole life. I thought I knew what love was, but now I truly know. I hope it’s not too late.
Tonight Dylan asked me to leave with him. I said yes. I’m going to run away and never look back!
May.28
I couldn’t bring myself to write before now…it hurt too much to pick up a pen.
It still hurts so much. My whole body aches, and every moment is a struggle.
I was ready to leave. I had my phone in hand, waiting for Dylan’s text…
John called me and told me to meet him in his office. I went, knowing I had no choice. I walked in, and my heart shattered. My beautiful high came crashing down around me, and I realized I should never have believed I could escape this prison. Dylan was tied to a chair, his mouth taped. I ran to him, but John stopped me. His voice was ice, fitting for the devil himself, and his eyes were bottomless pools of emptiness.
I couldn’t stop him. His men held me back as John slowly tortured Dylan. He started with his eyes for looking at me. I screamed, I fought, and I threw up. I couldn’t stop as Dylan’s muffled screams filled my head. He slowly cut him as he smiled sadistically, enjoying every moment. I knew what he was capable of, but this—he said it was my fault, and I believe him.
I passed out. I wasn’t strong enough to stay with my Dylan as John took his life.
I left him when he needed me. I should have fought harder. I hate myself. I did this to him. He was perfect…I am the reason he no longer brightens this world. I shouldn’t have given in to my heart, knowing that John owns me.
Jun.2
I haven’t been able to sleep. I’m haunted…
John had a doctor prescribe me some sleeping pills. At least that’s where he told me they came from. I didn’t see a doctor. I haven’t left my room.
John has been strangely calm. He hasn’t brought it up again. I wonder when he’s going to punish me or if he feels this is punishment enough.
Last night he made love to me like when we were first together. His eyes full of adoration. I tried to pretend. I don’t know if he can see through the façade. I don’t have the strength to care. I feel like I am a ghost. I feel like I died with Dylan.
I hate John so much that it has become a dark hole inside me.
June.11
I’m pregnant. This is supposed to be a moment of pure bliss in my life. I’m supposed to celebrate and shout to the world that I’ll be a mother, but it terrifies me. I don’t know who the father is…the man I loved or the man I hate.
Lexie closed the diary and held it against her chest. Emotions pulled tightly, like a vice aro
und her heart. It was difficult knowing what her mother had endured. She suffered so much loss at the hands of the man that could very well be her father.
When the bus came to the next stop, Lexie got off. She wasn’t concerned her surroundings were unfamiliar. She had no idea where she was. She couldn’t stand being on the bus anymore. She needed to breathe in the fresh air and try to clear her head. She noticed a sign on the side of the road that pointed toward a beach. She followed the arrows until she could smell the salty air and hear the water calling to her.
The sound of the ocean always brought her comfort, and she needed relief from the crushing weight upon her shoulders.
Lexie kicked off her shoes when her feet touched the sand. Feeling the sand between her toes, she took a deep breath into her stale lungs and sat down.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Jackson
Jackson knew Lexie was going to run. She was easy to read; her eyes told what her words did not. He didn’t try to stop her; he needed time to think. She was a constant distraction, one he was not used to. He followed the bus, giving her enough berth that she couldn’t detect his presence.
Those blue eyes pulled him in, and those lips. He remembered all too clearly how they felt against his. Her skin was so soft; the memory of it was still so vivid in his mind of how it felt like silk against his. Jackson squeezed his eyes closed, trying to change the direction of his thoughts. The more he touched her, the more he wanted. The more he thought of her, the more he found his control and clarity slipping. For some reason she got under his skin and shook him up. For the last ten years, he had been on a path toward this goal. Nothing had ever swayed him until now. He couldn’t afford to lose his focus. He was not the type to lose his head over a beautiful girl, but there was something in her eyes that made him want to gaze into them forever and it scared him.
He needed a clear head and to remember why he was here. He had been so close to finding answers when John swooped in and took it from him. He wanted Mary Connors to confirm the events that his father’s partner had given all those years ago. He needed to make sure all the pieces fit, because something about that night never sat well with him, no matter how many times he read the files. This needed to remain his priority. This opportunity was what he had been waiting for.
Jackson pulled to a stop when he noticed Lexie climb off the bus. Parking his car, he tailed her on foot. He knew it was important to keep eyes on her. John’s men were hot to bring her in; it was only a matter of time before they found her. John had eyes everywhere. Jackson knew Lexie needed time to think. She was walking too close to the edge. He could see it in her eyes; he needed her to be strong for what was ahead.
Jackson held back as long as he could, watching Lexie sitting on the beach, staring out into the horizon. He was used to depending on himself; he didn’t share or talk to anyone, ever. His silence was what kept him alive this long.
He was not prepared for Lexie crashing into his carefully planned life. He had been so close to his goal he could have reached out and grazed it with his fingers.
He never expected Lexie to have so much sway over him. Especially with his deep-rooted hatred that had propelled him into this life. She was part of the dark hole that consumed him, but when he looked at her he saw a light that had always been missing. He was drawn to her in ways that terrified him because she made him want more.
“Lexie,” Jackson called as he approached. He sat down next to her, looking out at the water that had her so mesmerized.
She looked so raw and beautiful with her tear-stained cheeks and her hair dancing in the breeze. Her eyes were the color of the ocean, and when he gazed upon them, they pulled all the air from his lungs. Her fair skin was a stark contrast to her rose-colored lips, and he could think of nothing more than to taste her again. Jackson brushed her hair back over her shoulder, letting his touch trail down the back of her arm.
Jackson wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. He wasn’t sure if was more for his benefit than hers, but he wanted to hold her, and he was grateful she didn’t pull away.
“I need to call Stephanie and make sure she’s okay. If those men found me because they were in her place…I need to know she’s all right,” Lexie whispered.
Jackson pulled out her phone and passed it to her. The tension fell from her shoulders as a relieved smile graced her lips. “Thank you,” she said as she stared down at the phone thoughtfully for a moment before she looked back at him. “Do you think that John will ever stop trying to find my mother?”
“No.”
“I need to know if that is the only reason why you’re here with me now, because I’m a means to get to John Stodden?”
“No.” Jackson shook his head and ran his fingers along her cheek. “I can’t seem to stop wanting you.” The confession surprised him, but it was the truth. Something about Lexie called to him on a level that he couldn’t begin to understand.
Color seeped into Lexie’s cheeks. She suddenly seemed nervous. “What do you plan on doing?”
“I don’t really know. I saw an opportunity, and I took it. I don’t have a plan.”
“That’s comforting.”
He hoped this detour would eventually lead him back to the goal he had set out to achieve.
Jackson watched as Lexie listened to the phone ring over and over with no answer, a crease forming between her brows.
“She’s not answering. She always answers her phone. What if something happened?”
***
“Get down,” Jackson told Lexie as they neared her apartment.
She slid down in her seat, looking at him questioningly. “What’s wrong?”
“Stodden will most likely have some men watching your apartment. Just stay down.” He had fully expected there to be eyes present. He knew John Stodden well enough to know that he covered all his bases. Two men were sitting in the café across the street, in a window seat with clear sight of Lexie’s apartment building.
Stephanie’s place was only a few blocks away, and knowing it’s where Stodden’s men found the address of Lexie’s hideout, he knew there would be eyes there too. Jackson parked around the block, out of sight from Stephanie’s street.
“Stay in the car until I get back. I’m just going to make sure it’s all clear.” Lexie slid down in her seat and nodded.
Walking down the sidewalk, he noticed a suspicious car across the street from the townhouse. Two men were sitting inside. One was preoccupied with his phone while the other kept his eyes on the entrance to Stephanie’s narrow townhouse situated in the middle of a line of identical-looking homes. Jackson pulled his hat down low, placed his headphones over his ears, and pressed play on his Walkman. The music sounded horrible, and it ate through batteries, but it brought him a strange piece of comfort knowing it was his father’s. It was one of the few things he remembered about his father; he always played opera music to clear his head and focus. Jackson knew every song by heart but didn’t know their names or the artists that sang them.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked down the sidewalk, approaching the vehicle in question. The two men barely glanced at him as he walked past. Jackson grabbed the rear door handle, pulling the door open. He slipped in the backseat.
“What the fuck?” The man in the passenger seat swung around.
Jackson pulled the headphones down around his neck. He could still hear the tinny sound filtering out. “I have a message for John,” Jackson said casually.
Jackson withdrew a knife concealed in his boot and jabbed it in the neck of the driver. The man sputtered as he grabbed for the hilt sticking out of his throat. The man slumped against the door with a moan, his hands grasping his neck without the strength to extract the knife. Jackson brought his elbow back and connected with the other man’s face. “Fuck!” he screamed while scrambling for his weapon. Jackson wrapped a cord around the man’s neck, pulling him back so he was pinned against his seat. The man grasped at the cord, but it
was pulled taut. No sound escaped him as Jackson cut off his breath. It wasn’t long before the man’s struggles waned and eventually stopped. His body convulsed before it fell still.
Jackson sat back in his seat and placed his headphones back on his head, turning up the music as loud as he could stand. He grabbed a jacket that was lying on the backseat and wiped off his knife before slipping it back into his sheath, then spread the jacket over the man in the driver’s seat to conceal the blood and reclined his seat. He pulled the hat down over the face of the other man and positioned him against the door. Jackson did not want to alert someone walking by. They would only assume the two men were asleep. He only needed to buy enough time to give them a head start.
Jackson walked back to the car and opened Lexie’s door. “Let’s go.”
He led her around the back of Stephanie’s town house. He signaled for her to stay back as he climbed the stairs, listening for any sounds inside the house. Jackson glanced inside the nearest window and confirmed the main floor looked clear.
Grabbing the door handle, he turned the knob. It wasn’t locked. “Let’s go.” Lexie darted up the stairs into the house. He checked the lock from inside the door, revealing it was broken. He grabbed a chair from the small dining table and placed it under the handle. He didn’t want anyone sneaking in here unbeknownst to him. His attention was called toward footsteps above as he looked around the main floor.
He pulled Lexie aside when the footsteps began descending the stairs. Jackson placed his hand on his gun. “Stephanie,” Lexie breathed in relief when she saw her friend come into view.
“Holy crap, Lexie!” Stephanie came barrelling down the hall and threw herself into Lexie’s arms. “I was so worried.”
“You weren’t answering your phone. I was scared.”
“I can’t find it anywhere. I’ve been tearing my house apart looking for it. Who’s this?” Stephanie’s gaze landed on Jackson.