by Claire Adams
The entire world froze as the hateful words Eloise spewed fell on my ears. She glared from Dirk to me and then back again. There was malice in her eyes, an anger so strong it felt like hot whips were lashing across my face. I didn’t know what to say or do. Josie was still clinging to my hand, but I could feel her beginning to shake at my side. I looked down at her for a split second, and Eloise pounced.
“How dare you even look at that sweet girl?” she demanded. “You’re a whore!”
Security guards were already on their way. They hurried across the lobby, ushered along by a nervous Shawn. I looked at them just as Eloise took a step toward me. Instinctually, I pulled Josie behind me. I didn’t know what the other woman would say or do next.
Her eyes were narrowed with hatred and disgust as she looked me up and down. The guards were almost upon us, but they didn’t get there in time. Eloise reared back and then spat in my face. I sputtered and stumbled backward, almost tripping over Josie as I moved.
The guards had Eloise by the arms within seconds. They pulled her away while I wiped my face and stared dumbstruck after her. I could barely process what just happened. The only thing that felt real was Josie’s hand in mine.
She stepped out from behind me to look up at me with confusion and hurt in her eyes. Tears pooled, making her blue irises swim. The pain on her face was worse than anything Eloise could have thrown my way.
When I looked up, Dirk was still standing at the front desk. He was staring at Eloise with a shocked expression. His jaw was set tightly, but he didn’t speak. He hadn’t said a word the entire time Eloise was attacking me. He didn’t even move when she spit in my face. Now, I could barely stand to look at him.
“Go to your daddy,” I said to Josie. She squeezed my hand, but I pushed her forward. “Go on, sweetheart.”
She walked over to Dirk. I was shaking from head to toe. When I turned away from them, my eyes fell on Sammy. He took one look at me and then ran over. He put his arm around my shoulder and led me quickly down the hallway, shooting an angry glare at Dirk over his shoulder.
We disappeared inside John and Sammy’s bungalow. I was still shaking, only able to stand because Sammy was supporting my weight. Nothing felt real. Part of me was convinced this was all a dream. Eloise didn’t know the truth. She never said anything. Soon, I would wake up with Dirk and Josie relaxing in the living room. Everything would be okay again.
Sammy sat me on their couch and pulled a blanket toward us. It wasn’t cold, but I couldn’t stop shaking. He wrapped me tightly in the material and held me close to him. He didn’t speak for several minutes, but when he did, he asked the one question I didn’t want to answer.
“Is it true?”
I turned to face him with tears brimming in my eyes. I’d never felt so weak in my entire life. Eloise’s behavior wasn’t a shock. In the short time I’d known her, she’d proven herself to be nothing but nasty and awful. I should have known she would lash out at me eventually. I just never imagined Dirk would stand by and watch it happen.
“Yes.” The tears finally spilled out of my eyes and fell down my cheeks. “It’s true.”
“Oh my God,” Sammy just shook his head in disbelief. I worried he would hate me, that he would suddenly think less of me.
“I’m not a hooker,” I said quickly. “I’m not a whore. It’s not like that. I don’t have sex with my clients, okay? I don’t-”
“Hey,” said he interrupted quickly. “Honey, you do not have to explain yourself to me.”
“I want to.” Sammy nodded and let me continue. “I’ve been working as an escort for years now. Sometimes my clients hire me for the evening, just to attend a social event with them. Other times, they hire me on for an extended contract. That’s what Dirk did. He came to my agency in need of a fake girlfriend. He hired me because I’m studying to be a child psychologist. He thought that would help me get along with Josie.”
“Obviously, it did,” Sammy said kindly. “The two of you seem so close.”
I nodded, fresh tears falling from my eyes. Josie and I were close. Until now. After Eloise outed me to everyone, I wouldn’t be surprised if I never saw the little girl again.
“Things changed,” I said softly. “Somewhere along the way, Dirk stopped being just a client. He and Josie became my family. And now…”
“You don’t know that you’ve lost them,” Sammy said quickly. “Eloise was a real bitch down there, but that doesn’t mean-”
“He just stood there,” I said. Sammy fell silent immediately. “While Eloise was attacking me, he just stood there. She spat in my face, Sammy. He did nothing.”
Sammy’s eyes darkened. He shook his head again and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Pulling me against him, he kissed my forehead and sighed. We sat together for a few more minutes while I cried.
“I don’t know what to do now,” I said weakly. “I really fell for him, and I thought he felt the same way. I’ve never slept with a client, Sammy. Not once. But I slept with Dirk. I gave in to my desires, and I let myself believe we could be something more. Something real.”
“Maybe you still can be,” he said.
I just shook my head and looked away. Sammy meant well, but there was no way Dirk and I could recover from what just happened. Everything between us had obviously been a lie. It had always been just business to him.
“I can’t believe I was so stupid,” I said. “I thought he cared about me. I let myself believe it…”
I trailed off, unable to go on explaining. My emotions were wild and all over the place. I could barely see straight, let alone speak.
Just then, the door to the bungalow creaked open, and John stepped inside. His eyes fell on my face and then flickered quickly to his husband. I felt Sammy shake his head beside me. John just nodded and quickly disappeared into the bedroom.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I should go. You and John are on vacation. You didn’t ask for my drama.”
“Stop it,” Sammy said. “We’re your friends, Marissa. We’re here for you. Just tell me what I can do. How can I help you?”
I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to hide in Sammy and John’s room forever. If I could avoid Dirk and Josie until they left for New York, I would. But, I knew that wouldn’t happen. Eventually, I would see them. Whether it was in the hallway or the lobby or by the pool, we would run into each other. I wasn’t sure I could handle that.
“Get me out of here,” I said simply. “I want to go home.”
Sammy nodded and immediately sprang into action. He called Shawn and had him get my luggage from Dirk and Josie’s room. When it was delivered, he called John into the room and quietly explained what happened.
“Can you get the jet?” Sammy asked softly. “Soon?”
“Of course,” John said. “But-”
“She wants to go, John,” Sammy said. “We have to help her.”
John’s eyes fell on my face. The pity I saw there made my stomach clench. I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me. I’d gotten myself into this situation, and now, I just needed a little help getting out of it.
“I’ll call right now,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice weak.
John smiled and hurried into the other room. Sammy sat with me on the couch until all the arrangements were set.
“I can’t thank you enough,” I said. “You don’t have to go to all this trouble. I thought maybe you’d just call an airline or something.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Sammy said. “We’re sending you home in style. After what you’ve been through, you deserve that much.”
I smiled and sunk into the couch cushions. My exhaustion was beginning to get the best of me. I longed to close my eyes and forget about the horrible scene that unfolded just hours earlier. Instead, I forced myself to stay awake until I was safely on the plane.
John and Sammy rode with me to the airport. John conferred with the pilot while Sammy and I hugged goodbye.
“Are
you sure about this?” Sammy asked. “You don’t want to call Josie before you go?”
“I’m sure,” I said. “I’ve already hurt her enough. The best thing I can do is leave. She’ll forget about me before too long.”
“I don’t believe that for a second,” he said.
“I have to believe it,” I said. “Otherwise, I’ll never be able to leave.”
He nodded sadly as John hurried over to us.
“The pilot said he can only take you as far as Chicago,” he said. “I’m sorry, but the jet belongs to the company. I can only pull so many strings.”
“Chicago is perfect,” I said. “I’ll catch a flight to New York from there.”
John pulled me in for a tight hug. I held onto him for a few seconds before grabbing Sammy for one last hug. They waved to me as I boarded the plane. I was asleep before the wheels left the ground.
We landed in Chicago a few hours later. My eyes were heavy with sleep, and my body ached with exhaustion. I longed for more rest, but I knew I still had to catch a flight back to New York.
It was almost a full day before my flight left. I wandered around the airport in a fog, unable to focus on anything. It felt like days before my flight was finally called to board. I snuggled into my seat by the window and closed my eyes again. When I woke up, I was in New York.
“How was your trip?” my neighbor asked as I unlocked my apartment door.
“It was great.” The fake smile on my face hurt, but I kept it in place until I was safely through the door.
When the lock clicked behind me, I collapsed to the ground in a heap. My luggage fell beside me, and finally, I allowed myself to succumb to all the emotions I’d been feeling.
I saw Dirk and Josie’s faces in my mind. I pictured Josie’s smile, and I heard her sweet little giggle. Her blue eyes danced before me, and I longed to hold her in my arms one more time. I could still feel her fingers wrapped around mine. Tears poured down my face. I missed her so much, it made my chest ache.
When my thoughts turned to Dirk, sobs ripped free from my throat. I buried my face in my hands and tried to forget everything that happened between us. I tried to forget the way his lips felt on mine, the way his hands traced light patterns over my naked skin, the way his scent filled the air around me.
It was no use. The pain was too strong. I made the mistake of falling for a client, and now, I had to face the consequences.
I stayed on the floor for hours. My sobs didn’t quiet until my throat was so sore that I couldn’t cry anymore. I stumbled to my couch to lie down. My tears were dry, but my eyes were burning. I lay against the couch cushions and let sleep take me.
Chapter Thirty-One
Dirk
Marissa disappeared down the hall, with Sammy’s arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders. Josie was standing in front of me. She was staring after Marissa with tears forming in her tiny blue eyes. When I looked down at her, I tried to think of something to say. Anything that might distract her from the scene she just witnessed. Just like before, I froze. I stared into my little girl’s eyes and knew that I’d failed.
When I could finally move again, I took Josie by the hand and led her to our bungalow. My eyes traveled down the hall and settled on John and Sammy’s door. I knew Marissa was right there, just behind that piece of wood. The only thing separating us was a few feet and a little bit of courage. I let Josie inside our bungalow, but stayed in the hallway, just staring at that closed door. After a few minutes, I gave up and followed my daughter into the living room.
Marissa wasn’t ready to see me or talk to me. I knew that without having to ask. The look on her face when Eloise attacked her was horrible. She looked as if she’d been slapped. Her cheeks reddened, and her eyes flew wide with shock. All the while, I just stood there. I didn’t know what to say or how to stop it. Eloise’s words had landed on my ears like bricks. My chest tightened, and I couldn’t breathe. No matter how many times I tried to speak, I just couldn’t find the words.
“Daddy,” Josie said, softly. She was sitting on the couch, her eyes fixed on my face.
“What is it, honey?”
“Is Marissa going to come back?”
Her question was simple, but I didn’t have a simple answer to give. The truth was, I didn’t know if Marissa would ever speak to me again. I had my chance to defend her, and I didn’t take it. After everything we’d been through in the past month, I let Eloise treat her like trash. I stayed silent when all Marissa needed was someone to speak up for her.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I think she wants to be with Mr. John and Mr. Sammy right now, but I’ll go over and talk to her later, okay?”
Josie nodded and turned to look out the window. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day. A thousand different thoughts ran through my head. I wondered how I could possibly explain all of this to Josie. She was so young. So innocent. Then, I stressed over whether I could ever get Marissa to forgive me. I tried to think of ways to make it up to her. Grand gestures and apologies. Gifts and promises…
Deep down, I knew none of that would work. Marissa wasn’t materialistic. She was too strong-willed to fall for something so transparent. This was a problem I couldn’t throw money at.
When the sun began to set, I put on a movie for Josie and stepped out into the hallway. I made sure the door was locked behind me before I took a deep breath and hurried toward John and Sammy’s room.
I knocked and stepped back. My eyes found my feet as I waited. It wasn’t long before I heard footsteps on the other side of the door.
“Dirk,” John said when he opened the door. His eyes were narrowed, and his jaw was set tight with anger. “What can I do for you?”
“I need to see Marissa,” I said weakly. “Please.”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “She’s not here. Sammy and I put her on a plane two hours ago.”
“What?” I blinked. He couldn’t be serious.
“Look,” John said. He stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door closed behind him. “I wasn’t there this morning, but Sammy told me what happened. I know you’re a good guy, Dirk. I know that, okay? But what you did — just standing there — you really fucked up, man.”
“I know,” I said quickly. “That’s why I need to see her.”
“She’s gone,” he said simply. “And honestly, I can’t blame her for wanting to leave.”
My throat felt tight. John just sighed and slapped my shoulder once before disappearing back inside his bungalow.
***
It took me twelve hours and five million dollars, but when Josie woke up the next morning, there was a private jet waiting for us on the tarmac. I had packed our things while she slept. I knew sleep wasn’t going to happen for me. I needed to get back to New York as fast as possible. It was the only way I could even try to fix things.
“Where’s Marissa?” Josie asked as we boarded the plane.
“She’s already back in New York,” I said simply. “She left yesterday.”
“She didn’t wait for us?” Josie asked, her face falling.
“No.” I shook my head. “She just really wanted to get home, sweetheart.”
“Because she’s mad at you.” Josie glared at me. “Because you hurt her feelings.”
I blinked and sighed. Josie was right. It was my fault Marissa left without saying goodbye. Everything was my fault.
“I’m going to call her,” I said quickly. “Right now.”
Josie just glared as I whipped out my cell phone to call Marissa. I heard two rings before her voicemail picked up. With a sigh, I tried again. After the third time though, I knew it wasn’t the right time.
“Try again.” Josie’s voice was sharp.
“Not right now,” I said. “Marissa isn’t ready to talk to me, but she will, okay?”
“Try again!” she screamed.
I jumped at the anger in my little girl’s voice. I’d never heard her scream in her life. For a second, I just stared, unsure o
f what to say or how to handle it.
“Josie,” I finally said. “We don’t yell. I know you’re upset, but-”
“Call her!” Her face was bright red. “Call her until she answers! Now!”
“Josie!” I snapped. “Enough!”
Her glare became worse than ever. She stared right into my eyes and then opened her mouth to scream. No words came out, just a high-pitched shriek that lasted for almost a full minute. I waited until she was done, and then I walked away to let her calm down.
We sat on opposite sides of the jet the entire way home. Josie threw another fit about halfway there because her chocolate milk tasted wrong. She said Marissa made it better. By that point, I was exhausted and busy hating myself. The only thing I could think to do was throw myself into work. I spent the next hour on the phone trying to coordinate the move to California.
It wasn’t going to be easy. Moving an entire company across the country would take work, especially when it came to Stanley. He was a shareholder in my company, and despite my influence, I needed the board to sign off on everything.
I called each board member to blackball Stanley. By the time the plane landed in New York, I was confident the board would back my decision.
Josie fell asleep in the car before we made it home. I carried her into the penthouse and put her to bed, the whole time wishing we were still in California.
The penthouse no longer felt like home. I hated myself for dragging Josie back to New York when I knew she didn’t want to be there. She fell in love with California. And with Marissa. In just one day, I’d taken both away from her.
When she woke the next morning, I planned to make things up to her. I would promise her whatever she needed to be happy again. I couldn’t stand to see so much hatred in my daughter’s eyes.
But when morning arrived, she still wasn’t speaking to me. She stomped into the kitchen and sat at the table until I fed her breakfast. Her eyes never met my face. When she was done eating, she went straight back to her bedroom and didn’t reappear until hours later.
I thought about going after her, but I knew it was no use. She was too angry and too young for a rational conversation. Instead, I called Marissa again. And again. And again. She didn’t answer, and each time I called, she sent me to voicemail faster.