Her eyes lit up.
“Actually, the sound is great!” she admired and began to hum. “I love this song, too.”
I smiled at the way she swayed in place, her hips moving subtly but not quite so much that it could be considered dancing.
“Dance with me,” I said and took hold of her hand.
She snorted.
“That’s the craziest suggestion you’ve ever made!”
“Oh, is it now?” I said with a wink. I positioned an arm around her waist and spun her in a circle.
“Alexander Stone! Let go of me right now!” she squealed. Her hands shot up in resistance as she grabbed my biceps, but I was steadfast with my hold.
“Never, angel. I plan to have many dances with you. This is only our first,” I murmured into her ear.
She stopped squirming and tilted her head back to look at me. Her eyebrows were raised, as if she were shocked by what I had said. I half surprised myself with the truthfulness of my statement. I truly did want Krystina dancing in my arms for a long time to come. I pulled her tighter against me and we fell into a rhythm.
The feel of her body pressed against mine was soothing. I breathed in the scent of her hair, enticing and familiar, and so uniquely Krystina.
“Early morning waltz with the Captain of the ship. Is this how you impress all the ladies?”
“You’re the first,” I admitted.
“Yeah, right,” she laughed in disbelief.
I pressed my lips together in tight line. The fact that she didn’t take me seriously was annoying.
“It’s the truth,” I reinforced. “I’ve never brought a woman aboard The Lucy before.”
“Then I guess this is more than just a first dance, isn’t it?”
So it is, baby. So it is.
“I seem to have a lot of firsts with you,” I whispered, more to myself than to her.
“What am I to you, Alex?”
Her question caught me off guard and I pulled back so that I could see her face.
How can she not know what she is to me?
After everything that we had been through, she had to have some idea. I chased her. Begged her to come back. Bared my soul. She unnerved me with her ability to tear me apart, yet keep me whole at the same time. No woman had ever affected me the way that she did. She was the sunshine in the darkness. The lightning to my thunder.
Holy hell. Since when did I become such a damn poet?
Perhaps it was Dan Reynolds’ heart wrenching ballad about smoke and mirrors. Or maybe it was because I found myself unexpectedly in love. I pursed my lips and frowned.
Careful, Stone. Find the balance.
I needed to get back on track. I made my position perfectly clear in the beginning. I told her no strings attached and she was in complete agreement. However, what I wanted had unexpectedly changed. I wasn’t sure if Krystina was on the same page as I was. There was a very real possibility that she didn’t want more.
“You belong to me. There’s no question about that,” I began cautiously. “But I don’t like the terms boyfriend and girlfriend. It sounds childish.”
“Um, okay…” she trailed off and her brow furrowed. She appeared disappointed by my response.
“You don’t sound okay.”
“I guess I’m just concerned over how I’m going to be introduced to others at this charity gala thing. If the press is going to be there, I’d kind of like to be prepared with an answer.”
Ah, now I see.
I smiled to myself, pleased that she had come to her senses and decided not to argue further over going to the gala.
I may just tame her yet.
“We could say that you’re my date, but I’d like you to be distinguished as more than just that.”
“Okay, significant other maybe?” she suggested. “No, never mind. That sounds lame.”
“Perhaps I could introduce you as my plus one? Or arm candy might work,” I joked with a wink and spun her in a circle.
She scoffed and swatted my arm.
“Be serious!”
I grinned, having only just gotten started.
“Okay, how about my old lady?”
“Old lady?” she laughed. “Now you’re just talking nonsense!”
“My paramour? My steady?”
“Ha! Did we just transport back in time to a different century?”
She was laughing hard when the song came to an end, the sort of deep belly laugh that left your sides aching.
I took her face in my hands. She stopped laughing when she saw the serious set of my jaw. I kissed her softly on the lips, sealing the end of our first dance together. I lingered for a moment before pulling back to look into her rich chocolate eyes.
“Angel, as long as you know that you are mine and I am yours, we can be whatever you want us to be.”
CHAPTER 11
I walked up the pathway to my apartment building in Greenwich Village. It had been an interesting twenty-four hours, but the magical escape to Alexander’s boat was over – and it had been truly magical for the most part. Last night was stress laden, but the morning sun seemed to chase it all away. It was as if there were no issues between us, no barriers, no problems or concerns. For a minute, we were able to be just two people alone in our own little world.
Unfortunately, it was now back to reality. I couldn’t ignore the many things that needed to be sorted out.
I learned that our individual pasts defined us in many ways. I finally understood Alexander’s need for control. He had once told me that he only wanted to control me in the bedroom. However, his actions showed otherwise at times and his history of assumed arrogance had flared my temper more times than I could count. But after hearing his story, I now realized that his need to control all things in his life wasn’t a preference. It wasn’t alpha or macho. It was about survival.
On the flipside, maintaining control over my individuality was something that I embraced. It was something that I needed to hang on to so that I didn’t repeat the mistakes of my past. Even though I could understand both ends of the spectrum, I still didn’t know if I could let go enough for him to be satisfied. I only knew that I had to try.
I stepped over the threshold to enter the lobby of my building.
“Good morning, Phil,” I greeted to the doorman.
“Morning, Miss Cole,” Phillip returned. “A package arrived for you about ten minutes ago. It’s a heavy one. Would you like some help bringing it up the stairs.”
He pointed to a large box that sat beneath the long rows of tenant mailboxes.
I wonder what that could be?
I lifted the box. It was bulky, but it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t carry. I saw that it was postmarked in Manhattan. More than likely, my mother must have arranged for a store delivery when she was in the city shopping a few weeks back.
“No. I think I can manage. I’ll just take the elevator up, rather than the stairs.”
“Okay, then. Enjoy the rest of your day,” he said with a nod.
“Thanks, Phil.”
Carrying the box into the elevator, I set it at my feet and punched the number for my floor.
My thoughts drifted back to Alexander and all the issues we still needed to work out. I knew that it was going to be an uphill battle. But, for the first time since meeting him, I was ready for it.
There’s also the job offer to consider. I’ll need to make my mind up about that soon.
When the elevator came to a halt, I headed down the hall to my flat. When I walked through the door, I found Allyson sitting at the kitchenette drinking a cup of coffee and reading a magazine. She was tapping her foot to an Elle King song that was blasting from the speaker dock on the counter.
A small stab of betrayal hit me.
In all the craziness with Alexander, I had forgotten about the way she set me up. It didn’t matter what her intentions were. Even if everything worked out fine with Alexander, it didn’t change the fact that I had been ambushed.
; “Hey, Krys,” she said when she noticed that I had come in.
“Hey, yourself,” I repeated back just a little too harshly. I set the box on the floor unnecessarily hard.
She looked up from what ever she was reading, a curious expression on her face.
“What’s in the box?”
“I don’t know,” I clipped.
Don’t be a bitch to her. She meant well.
“Well, you just caught me,” she stated and stood up, completely oblivious to the fact that I was annoyed. “I was just about to leave for work.”
“Actually, we need to talk if you can spare a minute.”
It was then that she seemed to really look at me for the first time.
“What’s wrong?”
I snapped.
“Don’t ‘what’s wrong’ me. You know exactly what’s wrong!”
She plopped back down in her chair and smirked.
“Don’t you dare yell at me, Krys. I know why you’re peeved. I did what I thought was best. And since you didn’t come home last night, without texting me I might add, I’m assuming that things went well?”
I went over the iPod dock and shut off the music. Once it was silenced, I turned and looked pointedly at her.
“Whether they went well or not is besides the point. You totally set me up.”
“So what?” She stuck out her chin in defiance.
I looked at the stubborn set of her jaw. She was somewhat right, even if I wasn’t happy with her way of handling things. And if I were to be completely honest with myself, I really didn’t feel like lecturing her at that moment. What I really wanted was a friend to talk to about everything. I had been deliberately holding things back from her and we were long overdue for a good heart to heart.
I took a deep breath and sighed.
“Look, I’m not thrilled about what you did.”
“He’s a good guy, Krys. I could see it in his eyes.”
“He is a good guy, but there’s…” I trailed off, not sure where to begin. Before we left the boat, Alexander had reminded me of his need for privacy, reiterating that I could not even tell Allyson. I had to be careful with what I said so that I didn’t betray his confidence.
“There’s what, Krys?” she prodded.
“He’s got a really shitty past, Ally.”
“So do you, or at least I assume you do,” she added dryly.
“Yes, but –.” I stopped short as her words about assuming hit me. That’s when I saw her hurt expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you told him about Trevor.”
“I had to!” I tried to defend.
“But you never told me,” she stated flatly. “Just like you haven’t told me what’s been going on these past couple of weeks.”
She had me there, but I chose to ignore the last part of her statement. The past few weeks were something that I had to work out for myself.
“Allyson, you knew what Trevor did to me. You had to of known!”
“No, not for sure,” she said and shook her head vehemently. “I only assumed what happened.”
I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose.
“You don’t understand. It wasn’t that I was trying to hide it from you. It was just that, for some reason, I was ashamed by what happened,” I tried to explain. “I went through periods where I blamed myself. There were times when I thought that nobody would believe me if I revealed the truth. Trevor came from a wealthy family and their potential influence made me afraid.”
Her eyes softened.
“There is nothing for you to feel ashamed or embarrassed about, doll. You are the victim.”
“I know, Ally. But it took me a long time to realize that. Please don’t be mad that I didn’t talk to you about it. It was just too painful. I wanted to forget the whole thing ever happened.”
“So why did you tell Alex?”
“I had to tell him. There are things about him that you don’t know.”
“Actually, I know enough. He enlightened me about his kinks, which was something that you only briefly alluded to,” she pointed out and frowned. “That’s some scary shit, Krys. Are you really okay with all of it?”
My thoughts drifted back to the morning that I shared with Alexander. It had been quite the illuminating experience.
And then some…
I smirked to myself when I recalled the blindfold. And the wax.
However, Allyson was right to call attention to the issue. I may have been receptive to everything that he had to offer to date, but I really needed to figure out what my own personal limits were. Scenes from Club O were never very far from my mind. Alexander’s kinks, and how extreme he planned to take things, would eventually need to be addressed.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully. I glanced at the clock. “There’s so much that I have to tell you, but I don’t want you to be late for work.”
“Work can wait. Besides, it’s Saturday. I’ll make up some bullshit about unexpected traffic or something. Don’t sweat it.”
Allyson took her job very seriously, and her decision to be late was not one that was made lightly. I took a seat across the table from her.
“Okay, then. I’ll try to be quick. It’s just a question of where to start,” I began.
“Alex brought me up to speed on most. It ended with the night he brought you to that freak show.”
“Ally, it wasn’t a freak show.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Forget about that. It’s not important when you consider the grand scheme of things. For Alex, it’s just part of who he is. The question is whether or not his past is dictating his lifestyle. That’s what I am unsure about.”
“Well, tell me about his past. Maybe I can help.”
I told her as much as could, careful not to divulge key details that Alexander made me swear not to tell. And even though I promised to be quick, it took me a solid thirty minutes to get to the end of the story. Allyson carefully studied me the entire time, having not uttered a word since I began speaking.
“Bottom line is that he thinks he’s like his father,” I finished. “So, what are your thoughts?”
“I think that any sort of comparison to his father is ridiculous. His father was a wife beater. That’s not what Alex is. Look, Krys. I think I’m right to have some reservations about the two of you together. But if you’re into it, who am I to judge? I may not be into that sort of thing, but it certainly doesn’t mean that Alex is abusive. Has he hurt you at all? I mean, you know,” she alluded with a little shrug. “Like, not in a kinky way.”
The memory of Alexander’s hands squeezing my neck instantly came to mind.
Don’t tell her. She wouldn’t understand because she wasn’t there.
“No,” I lied, but immediately felt guilty. My little angel friend, that had been conspicuously absent over the past few weeks, suddenly reappeared. She was frowning and shaking her finger at me.
Ugh, not you again!
I struggled to drive away the guilt about lying to Allyson.
“Well, if you’re truly okay with his kinks, then what’s your concern?” she pushed.
“I’m just afraid of history repeating itself. Look at my history and what happened with Trevor. Combine that with Alexander’s jacked up past…” I trailed off and shook my head. “I really want to make a go at this with him, but I can think of a million and one reasons to end it before it really takes off. Sometimes I worry that I’m too wrapped up in him. He’s very possessive and domineering. So was Trevor, but in a different way. I don’t want to become a statistic, you know?”
“Krys, I know what you’re doing. Don’t over think this. I listened to him talk about you yesterday. The man was completely torn up. I’d even dare to say that he might be in love with you.”
“Now that is what’s ridiculous. Alex isn’t the happily ever after type, Ally. I knew that about him going in.”
“Don’t count him out, doll. He may
surprise you.”
I thought about what Alexander had said to me when we were dancing on the boat. There had been a firm, no nonsense set to his jaw while his intense sapphire eyes held mine.
“…We can be whatever you want us to be.”
I shook my head, not wanting to look too much into something that wasn’t really there.
“Maybe I’m the one who isn’t ready to get serious,” I suggested.
“You keep on telling yourself that. I’ll be here later to tell you that I told you so,” she added with a wink. “In the meantime, I’m going to head to work. The traffic excuse will only buy me so much time.”
“Yeah, I’ve kept you long enough,” I agreed.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to cut you short.”
“No worries. Besides, I have to call my mother.” I stood up, retrieved the box from the floor, and set it on the table. “I’m guessing that this box is related to her shopping excursions.”
“Good luck with that,” she laughed. “But hey, what does your schedule look like this week? Let’s plan a girls night out and we can talk more.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” I mused as I tore open the box. I had expected to find clothes or something of the like, but it was full of files. There was a hand written note placed on the top.
Krystina,
Enclosed are the client files for Turning Stone Advertising.
I thought that you might want to review them before you
start work on Monday morning.
Yours, Alexander
I blinked and read the note card again, completely taken aback by his presumption. I never gave him an answer about the job.
I tabbed through the files quickly. Wally’s Grocery was among them, as well as quite a few other prominent names. My curiosity peaked.
Damn him!
Once again, he was assuming. I could envision him standing in front of the floor to ceiling windows of his self-made empire, wielding his authority and issuing orders from his command center. He would always be the master of all that surrounded him. I pursed my lips in annoyance, knowing that this was just his latest power play.
Some things will never change. There’s no use fighting it.
Stepping Stone Page 10