by Bailey West
“Thank you, Octavia, same to you.”
“Oh Randy,” Mrs. Belton called out to someone across the room. “Oliver, Armelle, it’s good to see you. Come on Olivia, I want you to meet someone else.”
I wanted to cry as Mrs. Belton led me away to meet other people. I wanted to look back to see if my Daddy was watching me. I wanted him to help me pick my escort the same way he was helping Octavia. I kept glancing at him, watching the way he interacted with his family. He seemed to love them as much as he told my mother he loved us. I wish that we could have that love and public affirmation, but I knew that was not something to wish for because it was never going to happen.
“Olivia, I’m going to introduce you to the young man that I think would be the perfect choice to be your escort,” Mrs. Belton said as she looped her arm in mine.
We walked arm in arm to some young men that were standing in a group.
“Mason Lafayette, this is Olivia Callahan. She is one of the debutantes this year.”
I wasn’t sure to whom she was speaking until he spoke up.
“Olivia,” Mason took my hand and kissed the back of it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Mason was an average size and average height guy. He looked young like he was still in high school but I knew that none of the potential escorts were still in high school. His dark, thick, wavy hair was cut low and faded on the sides. He had blemish free, mocha skin and his neatly trimmed goatee framed his thin lips.
“Nice to meet you too, Mason,” I smiled.
“I’m going to leave you two alone. I will see you in a bit, Olivia,” Mrs. Belton said as she walked away.
“Olivia, would you like to sit down?”
Mason motioned to an empty chair at a table next to us.
“Yes, thank you.”
We chose chairs next to each other and sat down.
“Tell me a little about yourself, Olivia.”
“I’m seventeen. I’ve never been to anything like this before. I’m very nervous.”
He chuckled.
“I’m twenty-one, I’ve been to tons of these events. Don’t be nervous. You hold all the cards.”
We talked and laughed the rest of the evening. Mason was charming and handsome. We talked until I built enough courage to ask, “Mason, would you be my escort for the Ball?”
He smiled a megawatt smile and said, “It would be my pleasure, Olivia.”
We exchanged telephone numbers before the brunch was over. He walked me over to Mrs. Belton and kissed the back of my hand.
“It was a pleasure meeting you Olivia. I look forward to being your escort at the ball.”
I smiled so hard that my cheeks were hurting. I’d never had an extensive conversation with a male before, let alone a guy that’s almost out of college.
I followed Mrs. Belton out of the event and to the car.
“So, what did you think of Mason?” Mrs. Belton asked as soon as we pulled away from the restaurant.
“I thought he was nice.”
“And handsome?”
I giggled, “Yes, Ma’am, and handsome.”
“Good. Did you ask him to be your escort?”
“Yes, Ma’am, I did. He agreed.”
“Wonderful. He is from one of the most prestigious families in the county. He’s a great catch. We are going to find you the prettiest dress so you can be the most beautiful girl at the ball.”
5
I was sitting on a bench in the yard of my college looking over some homework when I heard someone call my name. I looked in the direction of the voice and saw Mason walking towards me. It had been at least a year since we’d seen or spoken to each other. He looked to have gained some muscle since the last time I saw him. His hair had grown out some on the top, but he still wore it low on the sides. I was happy to see him.
“Olivia, I heard you were accepted here. How have you been?”
He sat down next to me on the bench.
“I’ve been good,” I smiled.
“How are you getting along with the school work?”
“All of my classes have been easy except for my Women in African American Culture class. The professor is impossible to please.”
“Is it Professor Johnson?”
“Yes! Did you take one of her classes?”
“Yes, and she is very hard to please, but you have to take meticulous notes on her lectures and then when you write your papers, use some of her words. She will then label you a genius,” he smiled.
“Thank you, Mason. I will try that. How have you been?”
We sat and talked for what seemed like hours. He told me that he’d been accepted to grad school so we would be attending the same school. We started talking regularly. He told me that he liked me from the moment he met me, but he wanted to wait until I was out of high school before he tried to pursue anything with me. Once I told him that I was interested in him, we started dating.
Our relationship progressed well. Mason introduced me to a lot of things and people that I would not have been privy to had it not been for him. We were from two different worlds, but he didn’t mind introducing me to his. Everyone in his circle of family and friends welcomed me except his mother. She didn’t like the fact that I didn’t have a pedigree. Well, I didn’t have a pedigree that could be discussed. To her, I was just the maid’s daughter, and she made sure she reminded me of that fact every chance she got. I was never ashamed of my mother or her occupation. I didn’t want to disrespect his mother by telling her to shut up about my mother, but after dinner at her house one night, I mentioned it to Mason.
“Mason.”
I was seated at my vanity table in my small apartment I’d moved into my last year of undergrad.
“Yes?”
“I really don’t like the way your mother always has something to say about my mother and her occupation. I don’t think that it’s right.”
“That’s just how she is. She doesn’t mean any harm.”
“I don’t know. I think that she is trying to imply that since my mother is a maid, then I come from nothing. That’s not true.”
“No, it’s not. Don’t let her ruffle your feathers. Sometimes she can say things just to see how far she can push you.”
“Well, I don’t like being pushed. It would be nice if you would say something to her.”
“I’m not getting in the middle of anything between you and my mother.”
“It’s your place to…”
WHACK!
I immediately grabbed my face where his open hand had just landed.
He towered over me and said, “Don’t tell me where my place is. You learn yours!”
He stormed out of my apartment.
I don’t know how long I sat there holding my face, staring at the door he’d stormed out of. I don’t remember when I started crying, but I do remember that I didn’t stop crying until I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of breakfast cooking in my kitchen. I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to find Mason making all of my favorite breakfast foods.
“Good morning! I was wondering when you would wake up.”
I didn’t respond. I looked at him like he had two heads.
Did you forget you hit me?
“Come, sit down. I will bring you your plate.”
I slowly sat down and watched him prepare my plate. I started to think that maybe I had dreamt the entire episode. Maybe he didn’t slap me. Maybe I didn’t cry myself to sleep. I brought my fingers to my cheek and felt the slight tingle of pain still lingering. No, he slapped me.
He sat my plate down in front of me and sat next to me. We ate in silence until he finally spoke up.
“Livi,” He turned to me while gently lifting my hand from the table into his. “I didn’t mean to strike you last night. I’d had too much to drink, and I lost control. I didn’t even realize I’d hit you until I sobered up. I’m sorry, babe. That will never happen again. Do you forgive me?”
&nb
sp; Did I forgive him? Could I forgive him? What would that say about me if I stayed with a guy that would put his hands on me? But he did say he had too much to drink, so maybe that was the reason. If I forgive him, that will make me the bigger person, right? He said it would never happen again and I believe him.
“Yes, Mason, I forgive you.”
“Are you sure? I would understand if you didn’t. That was not acceptable behavior.”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Thank you, Livi. I will never let alcohol take me there again, I promise.”
Olivia
My mother put together a small gathering at her house and invited a few people over to celebrate my graduation from undergrad. Mason pulled out a ring and asked me to marry him during the gathering. A blaring siren went off in my head like the noise that comes through a phone when there is an amber alert or inclement weather. Then a voice in my head said don’t do it. I looked around at my family and friends, all of whom were nodding their heads yes for me, so I said yes because it seemed like the right thing to do. Mason and I were married in a small backyard ceremony at his parent’s estate. His mother wasn’t very excited about our marriage but I had learned to ignore her.
I pursued my Master’s degree while teaching math at the same high school I’d graduated from. I moved into the vice-principal position at the same school, after I completed my Masters. Mason assumed the role of Chief Operating Officer of his father’s international shipping company. I also took care of some of the bookkeeping for the company. I was a wiz at math and enjoyed working with numbers almost as much as I enjoyed teaching. There were some important accounts that Mason didn’t want the company’s bookkeeper to handle, so I took care of those.
“Mason, I was looking over the books and noticed a discrepancy between the accounts that I handle versus the accounts in the other books.”
I had been working the special accounts without having access to the main accounts. I thought that was strange so I asked the bookkeeper for access for comparison purposes.
“What are you talking about? Why are you looking at the other books?”
“I just wanted to compare to make sure that we were on the same page since it is the same company.”
“I never told you to look at the other books.”
“Well, I did, and the accounts that I handle have a large influx of money quarterly that I cannot account for. I didn’t see it in any of the other accounts in the other books.”
“That’s your problem, Olivia. You think you are so smart. I never asked you to do anything but log the numbers and add them together. That’s it. What goes on in those other accounts is none of your business.”
“Mason, I was just trying to make sure…”
My words were cut off because he’d wrapped his hands around my throat so tight that I couldn’t breathe or form a thought. I started clawing at his hands with my nails, trying to get some air. I had never been so afraid in my life. I learned quickly that it’s not hard to cut off a person’s air supply. I thought I was dying.
“Don’t talk back to me. I told you what I wanted you to do, and that’s all you need to concern yourself with. Don’t make me have to say this to you again!”
He released me, and I fell to the ground gasping for air.
He stood over me and yelled, “Do you understand me, Olivia?”
I nodded my head and never asked another question about the accounts.
We could go months without a physical confrontation, but then there would be other times where, in Mason’s eyes, I couldn’t do anything right. Since my skin is so light and I bruise so easily, he would not hit me in my face, at first. He would punch me in my chest or in my stomach. He would push me down or choke me. After each incident, he would apologize and buy me a gift or do something special for me. He would ask for forgiveness. I would grant it, and the cycle would start all over again. After a while, he wouldn’t even apologize. It was like he felt that I deserved to be hit.
I was visiting with my mother one day. We were in her kitchen talking and snapping peas. I reached to get something from the counter and winced in pain. A couple days before, Mason had become angry with me because I didn’t thank him for coming with me to an event at the school. He felt I was being ungrateful and punched me in the ribs, repeatedly. I was having a hard time taking deep breaths. I thought one of my ribs might be broken.
“What’s wrong? Why are you wincing like that?”
I broke down and started crying before I could get the words out of my mouth. I hadn’t told anyone about the things that I’d been going through with Mason. I felt like it was time to tell my mother.
“He hits me, Mommy. Mason hits me!”
I cried while she held me and rubbed my back. I knew she was going to be livid when she found out Mason hit me. I’m her only child, she has never let anyone put their hands on me.
“What do you do to make him hit you?”
I moved from her arms and took a step back to look at her. I blinked a couple of times to make sure that I was looking at my mother. Did I hear her correctly? What did I do to make him hit me?
“I don’t do anything, Mommy! I’m not his child. I’m his wife.”
“I know that but, you’re smart, Olivia. Very smart. Maybe sometimes the way you speak to him makes him feel like you think you are better than him. You have to always build your husband up. Never try to outshine him. Some men have a different way of responding when their wives belittle them.”
“Mommy, I don’t try to outshine him or belittle him. I support him.”
I couldn’t believe the advice she was giving me. I thought she would be ready to throw hot grits on him or something.
“I don’t want to stay with him. I want to leave.”
“Here child! Hush all of that foolishness. You are married to a man. A rich man that takes care of you. He may be a little rough around the edges, but half a man is better than no man at all. There are a lot of women who would kill to be married to Mason. I’m not saying that it’s right for him to hit you but you have to look at your role in the whole situation. Sometimes we as women can provoke men to anger. You have to be careful. Try to be more submissive.”
I didn’t necessarily agree, but I knew that Mason was stressed with running his family business. I could be a little more compassionate.
I tried the more compassionate route, and it worked for about a month, and then he started again with the hitting and verbal abuse.
Olivia
I woke up to the sound of a steady beeping noise. I could hear the evening news being reported on a television or radio. It smelled like someone had recently cleaned with bleach. Opening my eyes was hard. My eyelids felt heavy and the effort it took to pry them open almost made me give up. I forced one open and then the other one. The light was so bright that my head began to hurt. I closed my eyes quickly, took a deep breath and tried to open them again. This time, I was able to squint to survey my surroundings. There was a television mounted on the wall over a whiteboard with something written on it in black and red marker. I couldn’t make out the words. I looked to my left and saw an array of machines with buttons and different colored lights and numbers. Am I in the hospital? I remember Mason being upset with me because I wore a different dress to the event. I remember him hitting me and the last thing I remember was wishing for death. Maybe this is the afterlife? That hope was shattered when I looked to my right and saw Mason standing with his back to me looking out a large window.
“Mason…”
He turned around suddenly and quickly walked over to my bed.
“Olivia, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I promise I am going to get help this time. I promise. Please give me another chance. I’m sorry. If I had known, I would have never put my hands on you.”
“Where am I?”
“You are in a private hospital. Doctor Scotch is taking care of you.”
Doctor Scotch was the family physician. He took care of everyone in the family. Apparen
tly, he also cleaned up their messes.
“Why did you say, if you would have known? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the baby, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Baby?”
“Yes, Livi.”
“I’m pregnant?”
He grabbed my hand and held it as he said, “Livi, we lost the baby.”
“Lost?”
Just as I began to process what Mason was saying to me, the hospital room door opened, and Doctor Scotch walked in.
“Ah, Olivia. It’s good to see you awake.”
“Doctor Scotch, I was pregnant?”
He looked at Mason and then to me. “Yes, Olivia. You were almost into your second trimester so around three months.”
“My baby is gone?”
I don’t remember his response. I became hysterical. He had to call in a nurse to put something into my I.V. to calm me down. I was pregnant, and Mason caused me to lose it. God, why didn’t you let me die too?
6
After serving eight years in the military, I got out and returned home. I missed my family, and things in my family were rapidly changing. Michaela, Roman’s wife, was diagnosed with cancer. The family rallied around her, and she made it through the first diagnosis. About a year later the doctors found more cancer. This time, the prognosis was not good.
I started college, majoring in Accounting and Business Management. As a teenager, I took a stock market course and fell in love with the idea of investing small amounts of money and watching them grow. A stockbroker that attended our church took me under his wing and helped me learn how to invest and work stocks. My brothers and I have earned quite a bit of money through stock investments.
I was leaving my last class for the day when I received a call from an unknown number.
“Who is this?” I asked after connecting the call.
“Do you remember your log on for the system?”
That was a voice I hadn’t heard in a couple years. I stopped in my tracks and surveyed my surroundings. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing I hadn’t observed a thousand times before. I moved to the side of the building before responding, “yes.”