by Sharon Green
“He probably won’t like that, but I’ll do it anyway,” Renni said with a matching grin. She knew well enough that Demmin was one of Elissia’s servants, but it wasn’t a thing to mention aloud. “And if he needs feeding, bring him on in here. I’ll stuff him so full he’ll have trouble climbing the stairs to your room.”
“I’ll be right back,” Elissia agreed, and then went out to where Gardal waited with Wyole. “Everything’s all right,” she told Gardal at once. “We can go in now, but please remember that your name is Demmin. Don’t answer to anything else no matter what happens.”
“Demmin it is,” Gardal agreed without the least amount of fuss, then he turned to Wyole. “Thank you for your help, my friend, and please pass the thanks on to the others as well. I won’t forget what you’ve done for me, and there’s a new home waiting for any of your group who want one.”
“I think there will be a large number of men who take you up on that,” Wyole answered as he took the hand Gardal had offered. “Most of us consider Ramsond home and would rather stay here, but not as criminals and outlaws. We were all decent family men, and we’d like to be the same again.”
“One way or another we’ll make that happen,” Gardal promised, then turned to Elissia. “Okay, ‘boy,’ lead the way inside. And if that’s the kitchen, we’ll be making a stop before going anywhere else.”
“That is the kitchen, and the stop has already been arranged,” Elissia told him with a smile that she then transferred to Wyole. “Just saying ‘thank you for your help’ doesn’t seem to be enough, but I’ll say it anyway. I’ll be grateful to you and the others for as long as I live.”
“It really was my pleasure,” Wyole assured her, now looking a bit uncomfortable. “I’ll leave you two alone now, but I’ll be back as soon as we have the information you need. I wish you two a lot of luck, and hope you’ll be happy together.”
And with that he disappeared back the way they’d come, noticing nothing of the odd look Gardal sent after him.
“What was that supposed to mean?” Gardal asked Elissia softly. “Talk about your strange things to say ”
“I have the feeling he thinks we’re sweethearts rather than brother and sister,” Elissia answered with amusement. “He’s known I’m a girl all along, so it’s a natural conclusion for him to come to.”
“I suppose,” Gardal allowed as he turned to follow Elissia to the kitchen. “And it’s a more pleasant outlook than if he decided he wanted to court you. It would be awkward trying to explain that you’re already a married woman.”
Elissia almost stumbled when she heard that, not having been certain that Gardal knew about her marriage to the savage. But he did know, and the way he’d spoken of it said he also approved. That meant she really did have to keep him from knowing that the savage was also in the city. If Gardal ever made contact with him, she would be handed back before she had the chance to put the rest of her plans into effect. No, Gardal couldn’t find out, and if he did she would have to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice
Renni greeted the “stranger” warmly before leading him to the table Elissia used in the corner of the kitchen, and then she began to feed him. Gardal ate as though he were starving, and Elissia sipped tea as she watched him. Half of her task had already been accomplished, and hopefully it would not be long before they were out of the city. Once they were safely away from Ramsond she would separate herself from Gardal, making him believe there was an important stop she had to make before she could follow him home. After that
When Gardal had eaten all he could hold, Elissia got a second room key from Renni, then led him upstairs to her room. The bed was large enough for two, and as long as both of them slept in their clothes there was no reason they couldn’t share it. Gardal looked around after stepping inside, and then gave a short laugh.
“At one time I would have considered a room this size to be nothing but a bread box,” he said. “After the days I spent in that crate, though, this place looks enormous. And if you don’t mind, I’d like to stretch out on that bed for a while. It has an actual mattress, which my cot in the crate didn’t.”
“That’s what you’re here for, so help yourself,” Elissia said with a sweep of her hand. “You can rest up here without anyone bothering you, and I’ll make sure of that by locking the door when I leave. Have I said how glad I am to see you again, brother?”
“No, you haven’t, and I’ll probably never forgive you for forgetting,” Gardal said with a grin as he came over to hug her. “I have to be the luckiest brother in the world, to have a sister like you. When I see Derand again, I plan to tell him exactly how lucky a man he is as well Hey, what’s wrong? You went stiff there for a minute.”
“Gardal, why didn’t you ever tell me about that marriage?” Elissia couldn’t keep herself from asking as she stared at his worn and rumpled shirt. “Didn’t it occur to you that I had a right to know?”
“I – ah – see I put my foot in it, but not as badly as I might have,” Gardal answered after something of a pause. “I forgot for the minute that you didn’t know, but obviously you now do know. I assume Father told you, and that’s why I didn’t. He asked to be the one to break it to you, and I knew he would be really gentle about it. Besides, I wanted you to get to know Derand before you decided you had to hate him. He’s the best friend I have, and I hoped you would like him as much as I do. Even if you are totally against marriage for some reason.”
“You should now find it easier to understand that reason,” Elissia said after moving away from her brother’s arms. “If a woman’s husband decides he likes the idea, he can put her in a box just like the one you were put in, and no one has the right to tell him he can’t. Consider how you would have felt if no one came to your rescue, and then think about your feelings if no one had the right to rescue you.”
“But Derand would never do something like that to you,” Gardal protested, clearly almost as upset as Elissia was. “He’s really a decent man, El, and once you get to know him you’ll find that out.”
“I don’t want to get to know him, not now and not ever,” Elissia stated, determined to make her brother see exactly where she was coming from. “He’s nothing but an unfeeling savage, and I’d rather be dead than stay married to him. But look You said you wanted to rest, so why don’t you do that. I’ll find something to occupy me downstairs.”
Gardal tried to keep the discussion going, but Elissia had had more of it than she cared for. She walked out of the room, closed and locked the door behind her, then was able to continue on downstairs without being pursued. If she knew Gardal they’d probably argue again later, but later could be taken care of when the time came.
Elissia found a quiet, private corner of the garden, and spent the rest of the day there. She had no appetite for lunch so she didn’t bother looking for any, but Renni didn’t let her ignore dinnertime as well. The small woman came out to the garden and all but dragged Elissia inside to eat, letting her escape again only when most of the food was gone.
Darkness had already fallen when Renni appeared again, the lantern beside the kitchen door letting her see where Elissia sat. She walked over to Elissia slowly, then sat in the grass beside her.
“Will you please tell me what’s wrong?” she asked in a voice soft with aching as she put an arm around Elissia’s shoulders. “I thought everything would be fine once your brother was rescued, but you look more unhappy now that you did before he was free.”
“My brother thinks I ought to be a wife to a man who doesn’t care a thing about me,” Elissia whispered in answer, willing to speak if that was the only way to get Renni to go home. “Do you think it’s all right to be chained to a man who uses your own feelings against you?”
“No, of course not,” Renni said at once, her tone faintly outraged. “Do you mean your father and brother have someone they want you to marry? If so, just tell them you refuse to do it. You’ve never had trouble standing up for yourself before, so why is it such
a problem this time?”
“I can’t go into details, but it’s more than just a problem,” Elissia said, staring down at her hands rather than looking up at Renni. “It’s a horrible trap, and I seem to be caught right in the middle of it. He doesn’t want the marriage any more than I do, but he happens to like my father so he’s hesitating over disappointing him. What he does to me doesn’t carry the same concern.”
“Elissia, I don’t know what to say,” Renni groped, trying to be supportive. “We’ve become good friends in spite of the difference in our stations in life, and I hate to see you so unhappy. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“I wish there was,” Elissia said with a sigh, finally reaching over to pat Renni’s hand. “If I think of anything I’ll be sure to tell you. The only thing I know without the least doubt is that I’d rather be beaten than not cared about. The pain is less and doesn’t last nearly as long.”
“And there can even be benefits if the beating isn’t too bad,” Renni said, obviously trying to lighten the tone of the conversation. “I know some people – friends of friends – who make a practice of having the man spank the woman almost every night. I didn’t understand why they did that, so I asked to have it explained.”
“And what was the answer?” Elissia asked, giving no indication that she knew it was Orra and Camdin that Renni was talking about. “Getting spanked doesn’t strike me as much of a fun way to spend the evening – if you’ll excuse the expression.”
“As I said, I didn’t understand it either,” Renni went on with a small chuckle. “What I found out, though, was that the arrangement had benefits for both parties involved. A woman likes to believe that her man is strong enough to keep her from doing things that could be harmful to her. We all have things we do that we really shouldn’t, things that could end up really harming us, but we can’t seem to break the habit of doing them. If the man we’re bound to takes the trouble to punish us for doing those things in an effort to help us get to the point of stopping, it’s only because he cares about us. If he didn’t care, it would never matter to him what we did.”
Elissia had never looked at the matter in exactly that way, but it did make a bit of sense. You don’t get angry at someone for risking themselves, for instance, if you don’t care what happens to them.
“Now, the man’s point of view is something I still don’t understand quite as well,” Renni continued.
“Most men seem to have a yearning to be in charge of everything around them, but sometimes that’s not possible. If they’re in business they have to cater to their customers’ whims and desires, and when it comes to the government there’s no one in charge but the people appointed by the prince. The men can sometimes get frustrated to the point of insanity – but not if they have an outlet. Being completely in charge of their family is one way, but too often a man like that is a tyrant. If he doesn’t want to be a tyrant, he finds a different outlet.”
“Like spanking his wife?” Elissia asked, still not really convinced. “That’s your idea of not being a tyrant?”
“If the rest of the time he’s considerate and loving toward her, what’s so wrong with the idea?” Renni countered. “He takes out his frustration with life by warming her bottom, and then he’s ready to face those frustrations again – for her and for the rest of their family. It keeps him from becoming someone everyone hates and fears, it keeps her from doing too many things that might harm her, and no one is really hurt. And on top of that, a lot of men consider it fun to spank a woman. He ends up aroused, and she eventually ends up satisfied. Do you also want to argue with that outcome?”
“Are you saying that some women deliberately provoke their husbands into spanking them in order to have a better time in bed?” Elissia demanded, for some reason finding the idea uncomfortable. “I didn’t know something like that could make such a difference.”
“It can if the man is one who enjoys the game,” Renni assured her. “Sometimes that kind of man even likes to have his wife ask to be spanked, a sign to him that she’s joined him in the game and also enjoys it. If he’s in the game alone it isn’t nearly as much fun, but a woman doesn’t necessarily have to ask in words. She can use her behavior to provoke him, and do the asking that way. But it still comes down to sharing, which is just another way to show you care.”
There was that word again, Elissia thought, wincing on the inside. The word “caring” brought a lot of pain with the memories it evoked, and Renni seemed to know how she felt. The smaller woman hugged Elissia gently, and then she sighed.
“I have to leave now so that my husband doesn’t begin to believe I’ve run off with another man,” she said, again trying to lighten things up. “But don’t forget I’ll be back tomorrow, and if you need to talk you just have to say so. Your brother didn’t come down for supper, so I put something away for him in case he gets hungry later. It’s wrapped in some paper with the name ‘Demmin’ on it, so he’ll know for certain it’s his. Will you be all right?”
Elissia nodded with the best smile she could manage, and apparently the dark helped her out. Renni accepted the smile and gave her another hug, and then got up and left.
The dark was peaceful and quiet, but after another short while Elissia realized that she might need to be up early tomorrow. If Torban’s people found a way out of the city for them, she and Gardal would have some hard riding to do. For that reason she left the peaceful night, went inside, then climbed the stairs to her room.
Gardal didn’t stir at all, not when she came in then relocked the door, and not even when she took off her cap and lay down beside him. His slow, even breathing showed how deeply asleep he was, probably the first good sleep he’d had in days. It suddenly came to her how hard it must be to sleep in captivity, what with worry over the condition and more worry about when it would end – and what would happen in between. No wonder he hadn’t even gotten up for supper
Elissia moved around in an effort to get more comfortable, but something seemed to be keeping it from happening. It was true she wasn’t terribly happy about sleeping in her clothes, but that wasn’t the point of greatest disturbance. It was something else, something she couldn’t quite –
When sudden understanding came, she voiced a low groan and closed her eyes. The thing disturbing her was the fact that a man lay on the other side of the bed, reminding her about a different man who had shared a bed with her. That other was a man who had seemed at first to care about her, a man who had even gone so far as to spank her hard when she did something he disapproved of. She could almost feel his hand coming down, each swat bringing an ache to her bottom and then adding to it. He’d held her across his lap and warmed her seat until she howled, and during that time at least, she’d truly regretted doing what had caused the spanking.
And afterward he had lain with her, bringing her such pleasure that the spanking he’d given had been a small price to pay for the ecstasy coming after. In spite of herself she’d almost begun to believe she meant more to him than his desire to go along with something both their fathers wanted. But then he’d savaged her like that, hurting her more with his uncaring actions than he ever could even with a paddle. He didn’t care about her, no one did, they were all just interested in doing their duty by her. Her father and brother just wanted her off their hands, and as for him he’d refused to have the marriage annulled for all the wrong reasons. Assuming he hadn’t even changed his mind about that by now
Quiet tears ran down Elissia’s face, tears of betrayal and hurt and very deep loneliness. She was a woman and useless and nobody wanted her, and she really wished she were already dead. That was the only thing keeping her going, the promise she’d made to herself about what would happen once Gardal was safely on his way home. She just wished the time would hurry up and come to be, before her strength failed her completely
Chapter 10
copyright 1999, 2002 by Sharon Green
“Elissia, wake up!” The hissed words brought her out of too
deep a sleep, the worry in them immediately banishing all desire to stay asleep. “There are guardsmen downstairs, and I think they’ve started to search the inn.”
Elissia scrambled up and joined Gardal by the window, and unfortunately he hadn’t been imagining things. There really were guardsmen downstairs, and from the not-too- distant sound of the thud of boots it was clear he was also right about the search.
“Someone must have finally gotten up the nerve to tell Waysten that his prisoner has escaped,” Elissia muttered as she stepped back from the window. “They couldn’t have told him right away, or those guardsmen would have been here last night. Do you think you can roll yourself up into a ball under the bed?”
“It’ll be a tight squeeze, but I think I can just make it,” Gardal allowed. He eyed the bed for a moment, then brought his attention back to her. “What kind of plan do you have in mind now?”
“Something that might not work, but is at least worth trying,” she returned with impatience. “Stop wasting time and get under there.”
Gardal shook his head at the way he was being ordered around, but he still did as she said. He lay flat on the floor and slid himself carefully under the bed, and a moment later all sign of him was gone. Elissia made sure of that and then hurried to do her part, the first of which was to smooth the side of the bed he’d used. A tug and a push and a stroke of her hand removed the signs that someone had been sleeping on that side, and then she hurried over to the other. It took only a moment to get out of her clothes and put them and her cap and boots under the bed with Gardal, and then she got under the quilts.
Elissia arranged herself carefully, with most of her body on her own side of the bed and her head and arms on the pillow beside her own. People who slept alone tended to spread out, and it was vital that she seemed to be alone. The sound of boots on the wood of the floor had gotten louder and louder as she’d worked, and now they stopped just outside her door. If she’d miscalculated and they knocked instead of just letting themselves in