For the rest of the evening, we watched TV, wrapped in each other’s arms. I wanted to feel safe and secure, regardless. I couldn’t get the terrible idea out of my head that I was wanted by one of the most dangerous gangs in London, and for what, falling in love? It was ludicrous. Nonetheless, it had happened, and as I’d gotten into this mess, it was up to me to get out of it.
“You don’t want to sleep on the couch again, do ya?”
“What have you got in mind?”
“I want you in my bed tonight.”
“Oh, and do you always get what you want?”
“Always!”
“Then I’d better comply.”
As we walked upstairs, my heart beat faster. I would have made love to him there and then if I were able. But I was still stiff and bruised and knew I wouldn’t be able to engage in any sexual enjoyment. I just hoped he would understand. I felt I’d kept him waiting long enough.
“No rough stuff, hey. Not that I don’t want to, I just can’t at the moment.”
He laughed. “Give me a little credit.”
Once undressed, I pointed to the abrasion and bruise on my ribs.
“Thanks for the bandage.”
“My pleasure.” He smiled. Marcus lay on his side, watching me. “Your body turns me on. I got a hard on when I touched you. Come here,” he ordered, patting the bed.
I went over and lay beside him.
“You’re so beautiful, Jade. I want to make love to you so badly.”
We kissed one another. He tasted good. Cupping my face in his hands, he kissed my lips and neck. I wanted him too. All the same, we didn’t take it any further, regardless of how much we wanted to. I could feel his erection on my leg. I knew how much it killed him to hold himself back. I should have released his tension, only I would have taken it further, and it wasn’t the right time. I wanted the first time to be special and enjoy every moment of our lovemaking, so I cut the embrace short, and turned over, curling my body into his. He wrapped his arms tight around my waist. I felt warm and relaxed, as if I was made to be in his arms. I stayed awake until he fell asleep, feeling his breath on my neck as he slept. I wanted to stay safe, wrapped in his arms forever. I soon followed him into a deep slumber.
When I woke, I saw Dylan looking down at me, his eyes as cold as steel.
“Didn’t take you long, did it?” he spat and then stormed from the room.
I didn’t realise Marcus was awake until he jumped out of bed and pulled his clothes on.
“Morning, beautiful. Don’t mind Dylan, he’s just jealous.”
Bending down, he kissed me and then left for the bathroom.
While I was dressing, I heard him go downstairs. I was just about to go to the bathroom when I heard Marcus shouting at Dylan.
“What the hell was that all about?”
The kitchen door slammed shut, leaving me to hear only angry mumbling.
Once washed and dressed, I proceeded downstairs to the kitchen. There was silence as I stepped into the tense atmosphere. Dylan looked at me with the same cold stare as before. It was pure hatred, and I was going to find out why. I could see Marcus was still upset, his smooth skin was taught and his lips pursed. I looked down at his hand and his knuckles were clenched. He stood up, gave me a hug, and then left for work.
“Marcus has a tough side and a soft side,” Dylan said. “You’ve only seen the nice guy. He’s also gullible.”
“I’m not using him. Dylan, what have I done to upset you? I want us to get along. You’re Marcus’s brother. It’s important to me.”
“Yeah, that’s right. I’m Marcus’s brother, and I take care of him like I always have, and always will. Who the hell do you think you are, coming into our life, and turning it upside down? Do you know the shit you’ve caused?”
I was hurt. In fact, I wanted to cry, but not in front of him. I needed his respect. It was just as important for him to like me as it was for Marcus to love me.
“I think you’ve a misconception about me. I’m not as bad as you think. I’m sorry about what’s happened, I certainly didn’t mean for it to turn out this way. I know you want me to leave, and I know that if I stay it’s gonna cause you all trouble, but I’m not running away.” I stood up defiantly. “This is my fight, and I don’t want any of you to get involved. I can sort out my own mess.”
“That’s brave talk, Jade, but do you really think you can take the Vipers on single-handed? Grow up girl! You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into. You don’t know fuck about us, and you don’t know Marcus. You don’t know what sort of life we lead. Have you actually thought this through? Do you know what you’re doing?” He moved closer, his voice became softer and tender. “I’m not saying this so you leave, Marcus would kill me if you did that. And none of us are worried about a confrontation with the Vipers,” he spat the word out. “Just think about what I’ve said, okay? Is this really what you want, Jade ... You’re a smart woman who can do better than this, better than Marcus.”
He stopped to see my reaction. Concern lightened his face, only it quickly changed to anger. “Do us all a favour and go back to where you belong.”
I’d kept silent throughout his speech, and some of it hit home. I was sure I saw a flicker of something in his eyes. Passion perhaps, but it soon disappeared. Feeling angry and emotional, I glared at him.
“Go back to what? My crummy village? Back to being a slave to a drunken mother, a father who doesn’t give a shit about me. I’d rather die,” I shouted.
It sounded tragic. Nevertheless, it was true.
I don’t think he’d ever let a woman talk to him that way before. He stood still, staring at me, his fists clenched at his side. I think it took a lot of control on Dylan’s behalf, but he didn’t scare me.
“And maybe it’s time you stopped playing big brother. Marcus can take care of himself.”
He was furious, and I kept on antagonising him, knowing I’d struck a nerve.
Dylan stepped forward and raised his hand as if to hit me. I held him back.
“I wouldn’t hurt him, Dylan. I’d never do that. I want you to understand how I feel. Jesus, the moment I first saw you guys I wanted to meet you. I believe I belong here, honestly, I do. I want this to be my home, and you better get used to it, cause I’m not going anywhere.”
He took hold of my wrist and pulled me to his chest, his eyes burnt into mine. It was first time I had been this close to Dylan, his skin smelt of Imperial Leather soap and his greasy looking hair smelt fresh and clean.
“Who are you?” His speech was slow and slurred as though in a trance. “You think you can just come into our lives and mess things up.”
The ringing of the doorbell cut him off. I pushed him away.
“That’s Clay, my shift is over. It’s his turn to babysit you. Marcus thinks he’s in love with you, what a fucking fool.”
With that, he left me alone, shaken and stunned.
Well, I got what I wanted. Marcus loved me. Nevertheless, it still wasn’t enough. I needed all the gang to want me, especially Dylan. Had I thought it through? Dylan was right, everything had happened so fast. I hadn’t had time to think of the implications of what I’d done. Yet I wasn’t frightened for my life. It felt exciting, the most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.
I knew it was wrong to feel that way, except it was as though I was playing a lead role in some blockbuster. I was controlling my own destiny; it was all up to me. For the first time ever, I finally possessed a life. I was somebody. I could enjoy a future, okay, perhaps not a long one, but I was living in a weird sort of way.
Dylan left for work, and I was alone with Clay, my next bodyguard. I apologised for making him have time off work. He laughed it off and said he could do with a break. We played cards, watched TV, and talked about anything and everything. I could relate to him, and we spent most of the day howling with laughter. He told me about the guys, and their past; the good and bad times. I asked him why he was in the gang.
The afternoon passed fast. Then at 5 pm, Marcus came home, along with the rest of the gang. He came straight up to me, grabbed me around the waist, and kissed me long and hard. I enjoyed it, however, it wasn’t for me. It was for show. Everyone was there. They all saw it. He was marking his territory. I was his woman, and he wanted everyone to know that.
“So what you two been up to all day?” he asked.
“We’ve been having wild passionate sex on the couch, haven’t we, Clay.”
Marcus laughed.
“She’s cool,” Clay told him.
I had the okay from Clay, and as he was second in command, that made it final. Max told me that Clay had been secretly checking me out to see if I could fit in. If I’d known I was being scrutinised, I would have put on a show. Nevertheless, I was through without even trying. I was a Tyrant. I just hoped there wasn’t going to be an initiation.
That evening, we went out to the local park where we drank beer, messed around, made some rude remarks to some old people, and generally fooled about. Even so, the Tyrants kept vigil and were constantly alert should the Vipers turn up unannounced. I was as jumpy as hell, imagining that the Vipers would appear at any moment.
That night I saw a difference in the gang, a huge change of attitude. No one was quiet and gentle. They had words for everyone they met. They bullied and threatened people that passed them, and they didn’t need a reason for it. It was their leisure time, a chilling out time. It was cool. It felt good to be part of it, having people look up to us as if we were somebody. The public was scared of us and stayed as far away as they could.
The whole evening was exciting but exhausting, and I was beginning to get tired. Marcus noticed and told the others we were calling it a night.
“Here, take this,” he said, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a handful of notes.”
“What’s this for?” I asked.
“You can’t go around wearing the same clothes every day, can you? I wanna see you always looking sexy.”
“Thanks,” I said, and pocketed the cash.
“What do the others think of me?” I asked as we wandered home together.
“Everybody thinks you’re cool, they love ya. Clay thinks you’re funny and cute.”
I laughed. “Cute?”
“Why’s it important for you to be liked? Why do you care what other people think?”
“I don’t normally, but it’s different now. I want to get along with my new family.”
“You mean that, Jade. You’re gonna stay with me?”
“I’ll spend the rest of the summer with you, and we’ll see after that.”
Pulling me to him, he held me tightly and then lifted my chin and caressed my cheek. His gaze told me how much he wanted me. His left hand began exploring; each touch causing me to shiver. Desire flowed through me. I felt his need. We walked back at a quicker pace.
When we got back to the house, Dylan was already in and watching television. As soon as I sat down on the couch, he stood up and left the room. The mood evaporated.
“Dylan doesn’t like me much, does he?”
Marcus shrugged. “Dylan’s like that with everyone, you’ve got to earn his respect.”
I had to find a way to get Dylan’s respect; I had to make things right between us.
Later that evening, Marcus went out and bought some fish and chips. We all sat down and ate together. The brothers chatted, but when I tried to join in the conversation, Dylan upped and left, retiring to his room. It was around eleven when Marcus and I went to bed. The desire to make love had disappeared, thanks to the stormy atmosphere created by his brother. So once again, we lay in a silent embrace and drifted off.
A loud banging on the front door woke me. Marcus grabbed his jeans and was downstairs before I had a chance to get out of bed. It was as if it was second nature to him. Standing at the top of the stairs, I watched as Marcus and Dylan; who was still dressed and holding a mug of coffee in his hand, stood looking at our visitors, Hatch and Tony.
“What’s happened?” Marcus asked.
Tony answered. “It’s Joe, the Vipers got to him. He’s bad. There were too many people around. We couldn’t get close.”
“Jade, get dressed,” Marcus yelled.
“Why has she got to come?” Dylan moaned. “Why can’t she stay here?”
Marcus pushed Dylan against the wall and grabbed his throat. “Why do you think they got Joe, hey? Use your head. They know where we live. I’m not leaving her here. Remember, Dylan,” he said, pointing at his brother’s face. “She’s one of us now. Jade’s with me, and don’t you ever forget that.”
“Sorry, bro ... I didn’t understand,” Dylan replied.
I got dressed, grabbed my jacket, and ran downstairs.
“Come on then,” I said, pushing past them both.
We climbed into Hatch’s Ford Fiesta, which he drove well over the speed limit. No one said a word until we arrived at the park where the ambush took place. We pulled onto the kerb and jumped out. An ambulance was already parked, and a small crowd had gathered. Most of the people moved out of the way when they saw who we were. Steve came over to us.
“He’s bad, Marcus. The cops are on the way. You’d better get out of here. I’ll stay with him.”
Joe was laid out on a stretcher with an oxygen mask over his face. Marcus ran up and managed to speak with him before he was carried off.
The distant police sirens frightened me. It was as if I was in a scene out of a movie. This was the first taste of dangerous violence I’d experienced, not only was I in the middle of it, I felt I had caused it.
“We’ve got to talk. Split up and meet at the sub,” Marcus ordered.
We dispersed quickly. There were too many questions no one wanted to answer. As we made our way to the subway, Marcus talked at me, not to me.
“He was stabbed. Jesus, it’s getting dangerous to be out on our own. We’re gonna have to stick together until we sort this out.”
“I’m sorry, Marcus. This is all my fault.”
He put his arm around me and hugged me reassuringly. “No, Jade, it’s not you. It’s never been about you. This was gonna happen eventually. It’s been building for some time now. I tried to ignore it, but I was wrong, I should have sorted it out. The Vipers are gonna get what’s been coming to them,” he warned.
The others were already at the subway by the time we arrived.
“The Vipers want to meet us here in two days, and they specifically asked for you, Jade. Do you think you’re ready, babe?” Marcus asked.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“Good,” Dylan said. “It’s about time we settled this.”
Everyone agreed with him.
“Now, let’s get back home and get some sleep,” Marcus instructed. “Hatch, I want you to go to the hospital and make sure Joe’s okay. Make him as comfortable as you can. Get him anything he needs, and get Steve up to date with what’s happening.”
Sleep. How was I supposed to sleep now? I didn’t want to register what he said. It was my fault, and I didn’t want any more of the Tyrants getting hurt. I had to think of a way of sorting it out. Surely it didn’t have to be this way.
The three of us arrived home to find the front door kicked in, and the house trashed. They’d sprayed graffiti over the walls, and smashed the television. I was horrified. Marcus ran up the stairs to inspect the other damage. Dylan started clearing up the mess. I tried to help, but he told me to leave it. He was angry with me, so I left him alone and went to find Marcus. He was sitting on his bed caressing his guitar. Thankfully, they hadn’t gone upstairs.
“I’m gonna kill them, Jade. They’ve trashed my house. They came into my home fo
r Christ sake! They’re not gonna get away with this. They’re gonna pay.”
I kept silent and just sat on the bed beside him.
The sun was starting to rise, so I told the guys to leave the house as it was and to try to sleep. They had work in a few hours, I didn’t. I spent the rest of the morning clearing up the mess, not able to sleep even if I’d wanted to. I had to find a way of getting my revenge on Monica without the Tyrants getting involved. I owed them that much. I couldn’t get the image of what might have happened if the Vipers had found me in the house, alone.
Dylan left for work, without saying a word to me. I didn’t blame him. It was a strained atmosphere. I’d tried to get Marcus to smile, only he was too upset.
Tony stayed with me. I wasn’t in the mood for conversation, so we played cards. All morning I agonised over the situation and was still no closer to finding a solution. Marcus came home at his usual time, grinning like a Cheshire cat, his bad mood gone. Tony chatted to him and then left.
“I’ve got something for you,” Marcus teased.
I could see he was hiding something behind his back.
“What is it?” I shouted, jumping up and down with excitement.
He handed me the carrier bag behind his back. Inside was a new black leather jacket.
“It’s gorgeous,” I screamed, trying it on. It was a perfect fit.
“Yeah, well, your jacket got ripped up with the fight and all. And we’ve all got to look good for tomorrow night.”
It suddenly came to me. “I’ve got it!” I shouted.
“Got what?”
“The answer to my problem and yours, I hope. Can you get the gang together, tomorrow, about two o’clock?”
“Yeah sure, what’s this about?” He looked puzzled.
“I’ll tell you later, trust me.”
He took a shower, while I started experimenting by mixing eyeshadow colours on the back of my hand.
“I’m gonna meet the others, you coming?” he asked as I watched him dress.
“Nah, I’m gonna stay here and rest up. I need to keep my strength for tomorrow.”
“Okay, I won’t be long. I’ll send Clay down. Don’t open the door to anyone else, you hear?”
In Times of Violence Page 6