by Loraine, Kim
The memory was still painful, but somehow not as sharp. Now that Drew was a part of her life, it became bittersweet, dulled by the mystery of their likeness.
Her heart pounded in her ears and she was drenched in sweat as she rounded the corner that would take her back to the hotel. Holyrood Park was much hillier than she was used to, and, as she climbed the stairs to the top of Arthur’s Seat, her legs burned. She stood at the top of the cliff and stared at the scenery before her. She could see the entirety of Old Town, all the way to Edinburgh Castle. The town was bathed in early morning sunlight, casting a golden glow over the buildings.
Her four-and-a-half-mile run should’ve been a piece of cake; instead it ended up taking her over an hour because of the unfamiliar terrain. As she caught sight of the hotel, she slowed, her muscles trembling slightly from over-use.
How am I going to face him?
She reached the steps and took a moment to stretch her hamstrings before heading up to her room. The lock clicked quietly and she walked into the smell of coffee brewing and the sound of the shower running. She sat on the bed and took off her running shoes and sighed in relief when she was able to stretch her toes.
Drew came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped low around his waist.
“Morning, love,” he said with a sleepy smile on his face.
“Morning.”
“Where’d you run to, then?”
“Holyrood Park.”
“Ah. Up to the top of Arthur’s seat?” His smile was mischievous when she nodded. “You’re going to need a hot soak in the tub. I’ve done that once. Arthur’s seat is a rough run, but the view is spectacular. I’ll go out and bring us some proper breakfast while you soak.”
She was about to protest, but could already feel her muscles stiffening. “All right. Thanks.”
“Next time, wake me up. I’d love to run with you. Much better than breaking my neck looking out for you all the time.”
She poured herself a cup of coffee, padded into the bathroom, and started the water in the tub, setting her mug carefully on the windowsill. She stripped her clothes and jumped in the shower for a quick wash.
While she was massaging her scalp with shampoo, her thoughts turned to Drew in the shower with her the day before. Her breath came quicker and a dull ache began between her legs. She ran her soapy hands down her body and over her breasts.
“Grace? How do you take your eg—” He stopped and stared at her, open-mouthed. His eyes changed from questioning to burning in an instant.
She realized her hands were still on her breasts. She quickly moved them and finished rinsing her body and hair.
“Over medium.” She stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel.
“What?” he asked, eyes still locked on her.
“I like my eggs over medium.”
He shook his head. “Right. Right, I’ll just . . . I’ll be back.” His voice was hoarse as he tried desperately to avert his gaze.
Grace laughed. “I’ll be here.”
She reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his jacket. “Don’t take too long.” She rose on her tiptoes to kiss him lightly before turning toward the steaming bathtub.
The tension in her muscles eased slowly as she soaked in the hot water. She sipped her coffee and tried not to think about the glaring reasons she should not be with Drew.
I can’t keep seeing him. What will they think back home? I know what they’ll think. They’ll say I’m twisted. That I’m dishonoring John.
Then there was her heart, aching to see him even now and feel his arms around her.
She pulled the plug and let the water drain as she rose and toweled off.
The rest of their day consisted of sightseeing. Drew took her to see St. Giles Cathedral, the Palace of Holyrood House, and they even found time to rent a couple of bicycles and ride around Edinburgh. As they sat together at a café outside of Edinburgh Castle, enjoying a light dinner, she listened to him talk animatedly about his family and their past vacations in Scotland.
“My parents brought me here each summer for at least a week. They liked to keep me connected, I suppose.” His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled.
“Have you ever tried to find your biological parents?”
Drew ran his hands through his hair and sat back in his chair with a sigh. “I did when I was in my teens. I think most kids go through a period of rebellion. I remember being mad about some stupid stuff and running off to find my real parents. But other than that, no, not really.”
As he spoke, his hand came up to absently tug on his earlobe.
“Aren’t you curious? I mean, it has to cross your mind. I don’t know how I’d feel if I had no idea who my parents were.”
His face grew hard as he trained his gaze on her. “Listen, I’ve got a mum and dad. They love me and there’s no reason I should go about trying to find people who didn’t want me.” His harsh tone made it clear she’d hit a nerve.
Immediately, she backpedaled, trying to change the subject.
“Of course, that’s not my business. I’m sorry.” She cast her gaze down and struggled to find a new topic. “So . . . my birthday’s next month. What are you going to get me?”
He laughed at her not–so-subtle segue. “When is it?”
“December twenty-seventh. I’ll be thirty-three.” She winced inwardly at the thought of her thirties rushing past her so quickly.
“Oh, mine’s December first. We’re not too far off.”
Her heart stuttered. “How old are you going to be?”
“Thirty-three, same as you.” He grinned.
Grace was silent for a moment. “Wow . . . that’s . . . December first, huh?”
“Are you quite all right? You’ve gone pale.”
“Uh, yes . . . I . . .” She struggled to find the words she needed. “Listen, I’ve got something I need to—”
Before she could get the words out, they were interrupted by their waiter clearing their plates and bringing the bill. Drew pulled out cash and left it on the table as he helped her from her seat.
“Let’s get back to the hotel. You don’t look well at all.”
“I’m fine,” she said, waving him away. “Just tired.”
They walked in silence to the hotel, Drew casting concerned glances her way every few minutes. She took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze in reassurance as they climbed the steps and walked into the lobby. When they reached their room, she busied herself by packing her small bag over and over again while he watched her with worried eyes.
“Are you all right, love? I think the bag is packed.”
She nodded absently. “Fine. I just want to get my stuff ready. Our train is early tomorrow.”
What am I doing? Her thoughts ran rampant. Oh, my God, what if he is John’s brother? I’ve got to stop this. I’m sick, this is not healthy.
She fought back tears as she thought of leaving Drew, but she couldn’t see any other solution. If he really was John’s brother, the idea of the two of them being together was just too strange.
Drew sat back on the bed and switched on the TV. He clicked through the channels and finally settled on a replay of a football match.
Grace, unable to continue fiddling with her bag, grabbed her phone and went into the bathroom.
We need to talk. Lunch tomorrow??? -G
Of course. You okay? -V
Not remotely -G
Chapter 13
Ten days had passed since Grace and Drew returned from Scotland. She was making a conscious effort to stay busy with work under the pretense of catching up. She actively told herself that she was doing the right thing by separating herself from him.
As she sketched more changes to the latest blueprints, her phone buzzed on the
small dining table. She sighed and picked it up. It was a text from Drew.
Lunch break?
She desperately wanted to see him. As she typed a quick message back, her finger hovered over the send button.
Just send it, you wimp.
She hit send and sighed.
Can’t right now. Sorry.
Shortly after, her phone buzzed again.
Everything all right?
Her head swam with confusion. No. I’m pretty sure I’ve fallen in love with the long lost twin brother of my dead almost-fiancé and I can’t deal with it. She wanted to tell him, but instead, ended up replying with a short, Fine.
She sighed again as she sent the last message and turned her phone to silent.
“Spill,” Valerie said as Grace slammed her laptop closed and plopped down on the overstuffed chair across from the couch. “I’ve been waiting patiently since you got back to hear what’s got you so upset.”
“I think they’re twins.”
Valerie’s mouth gaped open.
“John wasn’t adopted. Was he?”
“I don’t know. Drew’s birthday is December first. That’s the same day as John’s. They would be the exact same age.”
“And you still haven’t told him?”
“No. No, that would be . . . he would think I was using him.” Grace’s gaze fell to the floor. “I don’t know, maybe I am.”
“Let’s see. They look the same, true, but are they the same person?”
“No.”
“Exactly. Now tell me the things that are different about Drew from John.”
“He’s not constantly trying to save someone. He’s more open and affectionate than John ever was. I always felt like I was running circles around John, trying to get him to tell me what he was feeling.” She smiled as she pictured Drew’s face. “Drew has more freckles and his bottom lip is fuller. He’s softer around the edges somehow, too. More thoughtful.”
“How about similarities?”
She pondered this for a minute. “Aside from their build and faces? They have a lot of the same mannerisms. They both have this weird thing about their socks needing to be matching thicknesses. I used to tease John about it all the time.” This made her chuckle, remembering how John’s ears would turn pink at the tips. “Drew tugs on his earlobe when he’s nervous. John didn’t do that. And when we’re together, you know, really together, it’s so different from how it was with John.” She sighed, frustration taking hold. “Valerie, why is this supposed to be helpful?”
“It’s not. But it sure showed me how much you like Drew.” Her eyes glittered in amusement.
“I like him. That’s why I couldn’t stay away from him before.” Grace’s voice was raised in irritation.
Valerie held her hands up in assent. “Okay, okay. Look, you like him and he likes you. Why not be honest and see what happens before anyone is in too deep?”
“I will tell him, but I need to find out the truth first. I just need to step back from him for a while.”
“I understand what you’re saying, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea.” Valerie looked at her over her laptop. “He’s not going to stop trying.”
“I understand, but I can’t see him. Not until I’m sure.”
“You haven’t talked to him for more than five minutes since you got back from Scotland. Where I come from, that’s called the cold shoulder.”
She sighed, knowing Valerie was right. “I just don’t know what to say to him. I feel like if I don’t tell him, I’m a liar. But if I do . . . everything will be ruined.”
“I think he deserves to be told. I mean, he might have had a brother. I would want to know that.”
“But if I tell him about it and I’m wrong . . . I can’t do that to him, either. You should have seen him when we talked about his biological parents. He got really upset.”
Valerie nodded in consideration.
“And anytime I mention John, he gets so tense. I feel like he’s jealous of him or something.”
“Of course he is. Any man would find it hard to measure up to John. He died a hero. The town practically canonized him.”
Valerie’s words rang true. Grace’s stomach dropped as realization hit her.
“You need to do what you think is right. Right now, though, you’re hurting him.” Valerie gave her a level look.
Was she always this wise? What is wrong with me? I’m taking advice from a twenty-something.
Grace nodded and picked up her phone.
On second thought, I need a break. Lunch still work? XO
She waited a few minutes with no response. Her heart sank as each minute passed in silence. While she waited for her phone to buzz, she thought back to the awkward train ride home from Edinburgh. She’d been distant for the entire trip, feigning sleep and busying herself with her phone. To his credit, he hadn’t pressed her. He’d let her be and had said goodbye with a light kiss on her forehead. His eyes had searched hers for an explanation as he pulled away; clearly knowing something was wrong between them.
She jumped as her phone buzzed loudly on the table, bringing her back to the present. Eagerly opening her messages, her face split into an idiotic grin when she saw his message.
Yes.
“Drew?” Valerie asked with a wry smile on her lips.
“I have no willpower.”
“I’m going for some lunch. You two have fun.”
Grace blushed and set about tidying up their small living room. She had just finished stashing away most of her work paraphernalia when Drew knocked on her door. Running her fingers through her hair was about all she had time for as he let himself inside.
The sight of him made her heart ache. He had black-rimmed glasses on and was showing the heavy stubble of a man who’d neglected his razor for many days. Even in a state of disarray he looked sexy as hell. Wrapped in a dark charcoal peacoat, with a high collar to protect him from the cold of mid-November, he immediately began removing his jacket and smiled shyly at her gaze.
“Grace,” he said, with a slight nod.
“Hi.”
“So, where do you want to eat?” He lowered his eyes and pulled at one ear while he spoke.
“I’m sorry.”
He raised his eyes to meet hers, and her heart hurt for the sadness she saw in him. “For what?”
“I’ve been distant. That’s not fair to you. I don’t mean to, I’ve just got so much I’m trying to deal with. Not seeing you has been so hard . . . I just don’t—”
Before she could finish, he’d taken off his glasses and made the two steps between them, crushing his lips to hers. His hands trembled slightly as they cupped her face. She melted into his kiss, the feel of his lips moving on hers, his tongue pressing gently against her. Her breath shuddered as she opened her mouth, deepening the kiss into something more carnal. The stubble on his jaw was rough against her face as they moved together. She didn’t care. She needed more of him, but he broke the kiss and took her in his arms, holding her tightly.
“I thought you’d changed your mind about me. Thought you’d gone off me.” He rested his chin on top of her head.
“Just bear with me? I’m screwed up.”
“Aren’t we all?”
She burrowed deeper into his chest and hugged him tighter. A feeling near panic rose as she took in his scent and the feel of his hands as he stroked her back. Like a lightning bolt, she realized that this was more than just attraction. I’m in love with him. Oh, God!
“Hungry?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow as he looked down at her.
“Not anymore. Well, not for food.”
His eyes shone with heat as she pressed against him and brought her mouth to his again.
“You are perfect,” he whisp
ered as he reached for her shirt.
She led him down the hall to her bedroom, removing her clothes with an urgency she’d never felt. She needed to be with him, as close as possible.
And in that moment, nothing else mattered.
“Ten days without you is too long.” Drew was laying naked on the bed next to Grace, his hand tracing lazy circles on her hip, tickling and teasing. “Don’t ever deprive me for that long again.”
“You know I’ll have to go back when the project is done.”
His hand stilled. “We’ll cross that one when we get there, love. Besides, that’s months away yet.”
She rolled over to face him, reaching her hand up to stroke his stubbled cheek, relishing the roughness of it. “I like this . . . and the glasses. Very sexy nerd.”
His ears went pink. “I usually wear contact lenses and honestly, I was just a lazy arse and couldn’t be bothered to shave.”
“I think you should keep it, just like this. I like how it feels . . . everywhere.”
Drew grinned mischievously and stroked his chin against her bare breast. “Really? How about here?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Here?” he asked as he scratched his way down her belly.
“Yes.”