Love to Hate You

by Liliana Rhodes

  When the check came, Dennis finally turned towards me. As he leaned towards me, I expected him to ask me for money, but he surprised me.

  “Tonight’s on me,” he said. “Sorry I dragged you out and then hardly talked to you.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said.

  Thinking over my relationship with Dennis, I wondered how I ever thought we were friends. We were barely friends when we dated. Samantha was probably right when she called Dennis a rebound from Marc. When I thought about it I realized I tried to replace Marc with Dennis, even down to our friendship.

  “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Dennis asked, interrupting my thoughts.

  I stared at him blankly. “What?”

  “You’re so rude you can’t even say thank you?”

  His tone had acid in it. Usually I would back down and apologize when he made a comment like that, but not anymore.

  “Have you ever thanked me for all those times I let you stay with me? Or the many times I brought home lunch or dinner for you?” I stood up, not wanting to be near him anymore. “I’ll meet you outside. If I had another way home, I would take it. Oh and that reminds me, you’re moving out tomorrow and don’t expect to ever stay with me again.”

  As I headed towards the door, I glanced over at the bar. Standing facing the bar were two men in expensive suits, one with blond hair and the other with dark hair. My stomach churned recognizing Brent and Gunnar.

  How is it that everywhere I go he shows up? Damn town is too small!

  I thought about how wonderful Brent was when I finally broke down about Marc. But that meant that he, out of everyone, should understand how much being stood up meant to me.

  How could he do that? Why didn’t he show up for our date?

  I pulled my coat around me tightly and continued walking towards the door. I had to stop this. How did I become such a bum magnet? I looked at my watch and saw it was getting closer to midnight.

  I was never one of those people who made resolutions, but I promised myself that as of midnight, I would only date great guys. Unless he was worthy of me and my time, he wouldn’t get the time of day from me. No more assholes.

  As I reached the door, I turned around hoping to get one final glimpse of Brent sitting at the bar, but he wasn’t there. Behind me, Dennis’s group of friends got stuck behind a waiter.

  There were too many people in that section of the restaurant, but I still noticed Brent approaching Dennis. A second later Dennis disappeared as the crowd gasped.

  What happened? Did Brent just punch him??

  It didn’t make sense to me. Why would he hit him? With my heart beating wildly in my chest, I pushed through the crowd to reach them.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Brent

  Brent

  The bartender poured a couple of glasses of vodka on the rocks and set them down in front of Gunnar and I. The restaurant was packed with the New Year’s Eve crowd. Smiling faces drifted past with the constant hum of conversation. It was the last place I wanted to be.

  “Aren’t you glad I dragged you out?” Gunnar asked.

  “Actually no,” I said. “I can’t believe I gave in to you.”

  “Don’t be such a pussy, man. You said it yourself, you weren’t dating, you were just fucking. What do you care if she’s got a boyfriend?”

  I sighed. “You just don’t get it, do you? It was never just fucking to me. Ever. I only did it because I thought maybe if we kept spending time together she’d leave his sorry ass.”

  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Trust me, if there’s one thing I know it’s women,” Gunnar said.

  His gaze shifted to a tall redhead. She smiled at him and he nodded his head once towards her, then once towards the curvy brunette next to her.

  “I know what’ll get your mind off Jackie,” he said.

  “No, the last thing I want is to talk to another woman,” I said.

  “Who said anything about talking?” he said with a grin.

  The two women walked over to us. As Gunnar and I rose from our stools to offer them to the ladies, I saw Jackie’s boyfriend Dennis walk towards a table with a group of people.

  Gunnar introduced the two women to me, but I was so preoccupied with seeing Dennis without Jackie that I didn’t hear their names.

  Where is she? I wondered. And why don’t I ever see them out together? It’s New Year’s Eve, why would he go out without her?

  As I turned around and looked towards Dennis’s table, Jackie rushed past. She was fresh faced and her hair looked a little messy like it always did after sex.

  I clenched my fists as I imagined her with him. I felt like someone stabbed me in the heart as I thought of him touching her soft skin, kissing her sweet lips. Did he even realize what an incredible woman he had?

  Gunnar and his friends kept talking, drinks came and went, but my mind was at a table somewhere else in the restaurant. I had no idea how much time had passed, but every few minutes I turned around hoping to get another glimpse of her.

  Gunnar placed his hand on my shoulder and leaned towards me.

  “What’s going on? You haven’t said a word since my friends came over,” he said.

  “She’s here,” I said.

  “She? As in your girl?”

  “Exactly, my girl. But she’s here with that douchebag.”

  “Then do something about it. You have your choice of two beautiful women right in front of you but you could care less. For months you’ve talked about nothing but her, but have you ever told her how you feel?”

  He was saying everything I was afraid to say to myself.

  “No,” I said. “You know that.”

  “Listen, if it were me, if I was that crazy about a woman, nothing would stop me from making sure everyone knew she was mine.”

  “Yeah, in a normal situation of course that’s what I’d do. But things with Jackie are complicated,” I said. “She doesn’t even like me.”

  “Fuck complicated. You’re a goddamn idiot if you think any woman would waste a minute of her time with you if she wasn’t into you.”

  I shook my head as I let Gunnar’s words penetrate my thick skull. I knew he was right. I knew I was letting every chance I had with Jackie slip away because of whatever she had going on with that guy.

  I was so afraid of losing what I had with her that I never told her I loved her. It wasn’t about the sex. I wanted her, all of her, all the time.

  As I turned around again, I saw the group Dennis came in with leaving. Dennis was hanging back with a woman with bright blonde hair. I looked over the crowd again, trying to find Jackie, but she wasn’t there.

  Waiting for Jackie to join them, I kept an eye on the group. Dennis slipped his arm around the blonde’s waist and whispered into her ear. It was an intimate gesture most people wouldn’t notice, but I knew he wouldn’t have done it with Jackie there.

  The group stopped as a waiter walked past with a large tray of food. Dennis leaned closer to the blonde and kissed her.

  “That fucking asshole,” I said.

  “What’s going on?” Gunnar asked as he turned to look.

  “He’s cheating on her,” I said, my fists clenched.

  I might not have told Jackie the truth about how I felt, but I’d be damned if I let that guy get away with hurting her.

  I pushed my way through the crowd until I was face to face with Dennis.

  “Hey, it’s Brent, right?” Dennis asked, a big smile plastered on his face.

  “This is for Jackie,” I said.

  My fist collided with his face, sending him onto the floor. The blonde knelt beside him asking if he was okay. Gunnar patted me on the back.

  “Oh my god! What’s going on?” Jackie said as she pushed through the crowd.

  She looked at Dennis still on the floor, rubbing his chin, then turned around to me.

  “Brent? You did this?” she asked as confusion spread across her face.

  “He kisse
d her,” I said. “No one should be allowed to treat you like that.”

  “Why would I care who he kisses?” she asked.

  “Because you love him,” I said between clenched teeth.

  It was the hardest thing I ever had to say.

  “Love him? Where would you get that idea from?” she asked. “And what would you care anyway? You stood me up.”

  “Stood you up?” I asked. “What are you talking about?”

  Dennis started to get to his feet.

  “I think I should get home,” he said.

  I shoved him back onto the floor as I started to piece things together.

  “You’re not going anywhere,” I said, glaring at him. “Tell her.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dennis said. “You’re just some fucking asshole who punched me for no reason.”

  “I’m the fucking asshole who punched you because you told me you two were in a relationship. You said you’ve been together for years and that she said you were the love of her life. Is that true?”

  “You said that?” Jackie asked Dennis with her arms wrapped tightly around herself. “When did this happen? When did you talk to Brent?”

  “Christmas Eve,” I said. “When I came to your apartment to pick you up for dinner.”

  “You came? I didn’t know. Dennis never told me,” she said before turning to face Dennis as he rose to his feet again. “Why would you do that?”

  “I know guys like him,” Dennis said. “I was just protecting you. I--”

  I interrupted Dennis before he could say anything more.

  “The night of Sam and Drake’s wedding, was it you who answered the phone?”

  “You called?” she asked.

  “I know it’s not cool or whatever, but I couldn’t wait to talk to you again so I called right away,” I said.

  Jackie glared at Dennis.

  “A man answered the phone and said he was your boyfriend,” I said. “He said you like fucking with guy’s heads just to see if you can get them to call. He said he didn’t care because you always came home to him.”

  “How could you do this? I was trying to help you out and you lied to me,” she snapped at Dennis. “You know how I feel about being stood up. You knew everything it would bring up. I thought we were friends. How could you do something as nice as fill up my car with gas and drop it off for me but then turn around and do something like this?”

  “That was me,” I said. “You’re talking about the day you left your keys in the car, right? I filled your tank and then dropped off the car for you.”

  “You let me think that was you,” she said as her eyes narrowed at Dennis. “You selfish, egotistical asshole! You let me feel sorry for myself. You let me feel like shit.”

  Jackie’s fist flew out and hit Dennis in the stomach. As he buckled over, he looked up towards the blonde who shook her head and walked away.

  “No wonder you love her,” Gunnar said. “Nothing like a girl with a good right hook.”

  Gunnar grabbed Dennis by the arm and yanked him towards the door, then pushed him out. His two girlfriends hooked their arms through his and smiled up at him.

  “I guess I’ll have to keep these two ladies entertained all by myself,” Gunnar said as he left.

  Jackie stared up at me with her one eyebrow raised.

  “You love me?” she asked.

  “Gunnar has a big mouth,” I said.

  “Answer the question.”

  I put my arm around her, like I had so many other times, and led her outside. The air was crisp, reminding me of snow. No one else was on the street but us. We walked to a bench next to an old-fashioned street lamp and sat down.

  “I’ve never hated you,” I said. “From that first moment I met you, I knew there was something special about you. I don’t know if it was Sam pushing us together so much or just the way that blue dress hugged your body, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

  “But--”

  “Let me finish,” I said. “I’ve been lying to you all this time. I never wanted you just for sex. I just wanted whatever I could have with you. Whatever time I could get with you, that’s what I wanted. I didn’t understand why you hated me so much. I didn’t know why you were screwing around with me when you had Dennis at home, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to be with you.”

  “Dennis and I haven’t been together in over a year,” she said. “I was just helping him out.”

  “You don’t need to explain anything to me,” I said. “I just wish I was honest with you sooner. We’ve been spending all this time together and all I had to do was ask you about Dennis or tell you that I called that night and things would have been different. Instead I let you continue thinking that I didn’t like you when that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

  “And what Gunnar said?” she asked.

  “It’s true. I love you. I’ve had feelings for you for a while, but I think that day when you saw Marc and opened up was it for me.”

  “That was such a bad day,” she said, her face softening. “But there you were, the man I hated for no reason at all, and...I don’t know, but that was the day that I realized I couldn’t be without you.”

  “That’s why I asked you to Ashley and Xander’s Christmas party. I was done with our charade. I was going to tell you everything that night, but when I arrived at your house, Dennis told me you didn’t want to see me anymore. I was an idiot to believe him, but he confirmed what I believed already.”

  Jackie looked at her watch.

  “It’s almost midnight,” she said. “Do you ever make any resolutions?”

  I pulled out my phone and found a site with Times Square live. As I slipped my arm around her shoulders, I slid closer to her.

  “I do,” I said. “Every year I promise myself I’m going to do more to help those who can’t help themselves. It’s not your traditional resolution, but it keeps me grounded.”

  “That makes me feel like my resolution is stupid,” she said with a small laugh.

  “Whatever your resolution is, I’m sure it’s not stupid. As long as it means something to you, it’s important.”

  She nodded slowly and I could see that she was thinking.

  I turned the volume of my phone up as the countdown began. As the ball reached the bottom, the restaurant erupted with noisemakers and cheers. I leaned closer and kissed Jackie’s forehead.

  “Happy New Year,” I said.

  “Happy New Year, Brent.”

  She smiled at me and I knew I would do anything to make her happy for the rest of her life.

  “I have a new proposition for you,” I said.

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  Jackie

  It was a perfect June day in Canyon Cove. The sun was beginning to set into the Pacific Ocean and one of my best friends was sitting on a lounge chair beside me, holding my hand. Things couldn’t be better.

  We were in matching chairs, on the sand, the orange haze of the sun glittered perfectly off the calm blue water. Dressed in shorts, we decided to take a break after a long walk on the beach. A year ago I felt empty, but that was a long time ago.

  Shade hopped onto the long portion of my chair and curled himself into a tight ball.

  “He really has no idea how large he is,” I said as I tried to figure out where to put my legs.

  “What are you talking about? Look at how small he is,” Brent said. “Right, Shade?”

  Shade wagged his thick tail excitedly, causing a faint thud every time his tail hit my thigh.

  “I’m pretty sure this is abuse,” I said, laughing.

  “Take it up with him. I didn’t do a thing.”

  In the distance a couple stood facing each other, the breeze gently tousling their hair. They held each other’s hands as they exchanged wedding vows on the pier. Brent pointed over to them.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “A happy c
ouple getting married. I think that should be us.”

  My phone buzzed in my bag before I could say anything.

  “You should check that,” Brent said. “I’ve been hearing it buzzing all afternoon. It could be something important.”

  “It’s nothing important,” I said. “It’s probably someone trying to get me to fill in for them at the last minute.”

  I pulled my phone out of my bag and saw several texts messages from hours ago.

  Becca: Where are you?

  Ashley: Are you running late? We’re waiting for you. Sam is looking hangry though lol!

  I read Ashley’s text to Brent and he laughed.

  “Hangry? Hungry and angry? You don’t want to be near Sam when she’s like that,” he said, laughing.

  Samantha: We’re at Mirabella’s, where are you? I thought you were coming.

  I felt bad about forgetting about our Mirabella’s lunch, but I knew there would be others. It had been a long time since I missed one of the Mirabella lunches. They were fine without me.

  After I graduated in May, Brent finally convinced me to move in with him. It was a strange thing for me after being on my own for so long, but since we made it official, I rarely slept at my apartment anyway.

  I was busy apologizing to my friends for missing the lunch when Brent leaned closer and peeked at my phone.

  “Did you get any other texts?” Brent asked.

  “Mmm hmm. I just haven’t gotten to it yet.”

  “Who’s it from?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said, looking at the unfamiliar number in my message list. “Let me check.”

  I tapped the message and it opened to a photo of Shade. He was wearing the same bandana around his neck that Brent put on him that morning.

  “That’s odd,” I said. “Why would someone send me a picture of Shade?”

  “Maybe they’re trying to tell you something,” he said. “Look closer at the picture.”

  “Did you do this? This is just weird,” I murmured as I looked at the photo.