Amelia nods. “It’s true. I peeked in the gym and saw them. There’s, like, no way he can pass.”
I glare at her.
Kat’s voice comes out kind of squeaky. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because. I’m still trying to figure it out, and I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Do all your friends know? Does everyone know except me?”
“You’re doing really well in school, Kat. I didn’t want you to think I was a loser.”
“Damien, you’re not.”
Amelia tilts a hand back and forth in the air. “Well…”
“You’re not a loser, and you can figure out a way to pass the test. You always figure something out.” She sounds like she’s trying to convince herself as much as me. Maybe more than me.
“Did I mention my uncle Ted’s the one who’s administering the test?”
“The one from the Christmas party?” She winces.
“Yep. And he hates my guts. And even if I could fly through hoops on the ceiling, which is already a pretty big if for me, he’d probably still fail me.”
Kat’s face is turning kind of pink. She looks like she’s about to cry. “So you’re just giving up? That doesn’t sound like you.”
“Passing that flying test doesn’t really sound like me, either.”
“Is this why you said you weren’t going anywhere?”
“It’s part of it, but I didn’t mean—”
“You can’t give up on this, Damien.”
“Kat. Come on.”
She clenches her fists. “No. Giving up on this feels like… it feels like giving up on us.”
“I would never do that.” My throat goes tight, and I kind of wish Amelia wasn’t sitting here, witnessing all this. “It’s just Heroesworth.”
“It’s not. You know it’s not. I’m going to be somebody, Damien, but so are you. And you don’t just give up on things. Not when they really matter.”
“I know. But me, passing that flying test? In front of my uncle? It’s…” I hate myself for saying this, because she’s right, I don’t give up on things. But it’s also the truth. “It’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible.”
“But some things are so hard, so completely unattainable, that they might as well be.”
“You said you’d do anything for me.”
I slip my hand into hers. “I know what I said. But it would take a miracle for me to pass this.”
“I’m not asking you to perform a miracle,” she says, squeezing my hand. “I’m just asking you not to give up.”
Chapter 17
“AND THEN,” XAVIER SAYS, in that stupid screechy voice of his, “after I got to ride all the rides, we went to the zoo, and they let me ride a zebra, because I’m so special and amazing.”
I glare at Mom. I’m over at their house, having dinner Monday evening. “You went to Super World?”
Mom forces a smile. “Anything for my little sweetiekins.”
“And then you went to the zoo, and he rode a zebra?”
“It was so fun!” Xavier shrieks, right in my ear.
I scoot my chair a little farther away from him. “I can’t believe this.”
He gives me this smug smile. “It was only for me and Mommy. But maybe if you’re really nice to me, I’ll let you come to my next birthday.”
It wasn’t really his birthday. Even though Xavier looks like he’s about twelve now—which is way too old to be calling her Mommy—he’s really only eight months old, thanks to Mom’s crazy growth formula. “Mom, seriously. I can’t believe you’re still doing this.”
“Mommy loves me. She says I can do whatever I want for my parties.”
“Am I still making sure my special little angel has a good time on his birthdays? Of course I’m still doing that, Damien. What do you expect?”
“He shouldn’t have even had any birthdays yet, and I can’t believe you’re still pumping all these fake memories into him.” I look over at Taylor, Xavier’s dad and my stepfather. “And I can’t believe you’re okay with this.”
Taylor takes a deep breath. “Well, it’s not as if I—”
“Daddy’s happy for me,” Xavier says, interrupting him. “Everyone just wants me to have a really special day.”
“Uh-huh.”
“And don’t say this happened for your birthday, too, because Mommy already told me it didn’t.”
He means because some of the fake memories Mom fed him happened to match up exactly with one of my birthday parties from when I was a kid. Because I guess she couldn’t be bothered to make up something new. And maybe she thought I wouldn’t find out, since it’s not like I make a point of ever choosing to hang out with Xavier or anything, but really I think she just didn’t care.
“I can definitely say it didn’t happen to me,” I tell him. I’m not a big fan of amusement-park rides, what with most of them not staying on solid ground. “But it didn’t happen to you, either.”
“Yes, it did!”
“The zoo doesn’t let people ride zebras.” And, okay, they could have gone to Super World, but it’s kind of expensive, and taking Xavier there sounds like a nightmare. Mom wouldn’t go through all that when she could just slip some headphones on him and hypnotize him into thinking it happened, or however it works. And if it had been real—if she really did take him to Super World—there’s no way she’d still be up for going to the zoo afterward.
“They let me ride one, though. They made an exception. That’s why it’s special.”
There’s also no way anyone in their right mind would let Xavier touch, let alone ride, a zoo animal. I look at Mom. “Don’t you think this is going to, like, mess up his brain or something?”
“Damien.” Mom grits her teeth. “Your brother had a good time on his birthday. Please don’t try and ruin that for us.”
“It wasn’t even his birthday!”
“Everyone had a good time. There was no harm done.”
“That you know of. What about long-term effects?”
“The long-term effects are that my little sweetiekins has nothing to worry about.”
“Mom. That’s not… That doesn’t even make sense.”
“He has a point, Marianna,” Taylor says. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about—”
“It’s fine,” Mom snaps. “There’s nothing wrong with Xavier.” She pats him on the head. “Or with you, dear.”
Taylor raises his eyebrows. “I suppose I should take that as a compliment?”
She laughs. “Not with you. I meant Damien.”
“Me?”
“Yes. There’s nothing wrong with you. Well, other than the obvious, but that had nothing to do with me.” She holds up her hands in a not-my-problem gesture. “But clearly you had no long-term effects.”
My blood suddenly runs cold. “Uh, Mom, no long-term effects from what?”
Xavier gives me a nasty grin, even though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know what she means, either, just that I’m unhappy about it.
“Well, sweetie, I knew that I… That is, I knew who your father was—”
“I should hope so.”
“—and about his ability. And I was worried that there was a teeny, tiny chance you might inherit it. Which I was right to worry about, since you did.”
“You mean, because I can fly?”
She nods, shuddering a little at even the idea. “That’s exactly what I mean. And I didn’t want— Well, I didn’t want it to happen at all, but I couldn’t control that. So I simply made sure that if you did inherit his awful power, you’d never want to use it. You see, dear, I was afraid that you’d take after him too much and leave me one day to join the enemy.” She says that wistfully, her voice full of regret, as if she’s not the one who kicked me out.
“You made me not want to fly.” My hands are shaking. I feel like I’m going to be sick. “You mean you made me afraid of heights.”
“Mm-hm.” She takes a sip of her wine, all casual
, as if this isn’t a big deal. “I didn’t have the exact same setup I have for Xavier—the technology just wasn’t there yet—but I had an earlier version of it.”
“You… You what?!”
She sighs. “It was a long time ago. There’s no need to get so worked up.”
“Get so worked up?! No need to?! You—” Lightning crackles across my skin. All my hair stands on end. “You messed me up on purpose?”
Xavier snickers. He doesn’t realize she’s doing the same thing to him, only worse.
“I didn’t mess you up. I ensured your future. I was only looking out for you. And as you can see, you’ve had no long-term effects other than the intended one. So.” She grins, looking pretty pleased with herself. “I think we can all agree I know what I’m doing here.”
“Um, no. No, we cannot. What the hell were you thinking?!”
“I’ve already explained that part. And will you please get your lightning under control? We wouldn’t want my little sweetiekins to get zapped, now, would we?” She pokes Xavier in the side, pretending to zap him, and he giggles. “Or the furniture,” she adds.
I’m going to throw up. Or I’m going to blow up the house. I take a deep breath.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Mom says. “I could have made you afraid of heights by dropping you a bunch of times, but instead I chose this more sophisticated route. I mean, I couldn’t let you grow up and actually fly, so it had to happen one way or another.”
I stare at her.
She clucks her tongue. “Being a mother is such a thankless job.”
“Gee, Mom, thanks for not dropping me on my head when I was a baby.”
“Oh, not on your head. Don’t be ridiculous. I would never have hurt you, sweetie. But I didn’t know what might happen, with you being half hero. What if you’d gotten a V but ended up able to fly? It would have been better if you never discovered that and thought you had no power at all.”
“But I have an X. And I can fly.”
Disgust twitches across her face. “Something you never would have discovered on your own. But I did my best. Actually, I’d kind of forgotten about it.”
“You forgot about it?!”
“Well, you broke the device when you were four. Riding your bike in the house.” She actually clucks her tongue at me.
Okay, I’m supposed to be over her purposely giving me a phobia about heights and messing up my life, but she’s not even over me riding my bike in the house over a decade ago?
“I didn’t think about it again until Xavier came around and I knew I needed a way to…” She looks over at him. “A way to make sure my little angel miracle grew up big and strong.”
Ugh. “Mentally unstable, you mean.”
She glares at me. “When I had him, I remembered that old device, and I looked up the company to see if they had a newer model. And of course they did, and it’s worked out really well.”
“You made me afraid of heights.” I feel numb.
“Yes. And it was for your own good, so stop looking at me like that.”
“Marianna,” Taylor says, “I think Damien just needs a chance to absorb this information. It’s kind of a lot.”
“He was afraid of heights before and he’s still afraid of them now—it doesn’t change anything. And the point here is that the device did exactly what it was supposed to, just like I said.”
Another surge of electricity runs up my spine and across my skin. “I’m going to flunk out of school because of you!”
“Hero school,” she says. “Which you shouldn’t have even been going to in the first place. And if they don’t want you because you can’t fly, well, then I’d say that’s mission accomplished.”
“Hello?” Riley sounds really groggy when he answers the phone.
Probably because it’s 2 a.m on a Monday. Well, Tuesday, technically. “Finally. You only let it ring, like, twenty times.” I drum my fingers on my bed, even though it doesn’t really make any sound.
“I was asleep. It’s…” He pauses to check the time. “It’s after two in the morning, X. Did something happen? Are you okay? Is—”
“Everyone’s okay.” Except me. “It’s nothing like that.”
“Oh.” He sounds relieved. Then kind of pissed. “So what are you calling for?”
“Actually, you know what? Never mind. It wasn’t important.”
“You woke me up in the middle of the night!”
“I didn’t realize what time it was, that’s all. Go back to sleep, Perkins. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He’s quiet for a second. Then he says, “What did you really call about?”
“I’m going to pass that flying test.”
Silence.
“Did you hear me? I said I’m going to pass that flying test.”
“Look, X, I want you to be there next year, but tampering with your records isn’t the way to do it. Someone will notice, and you’ll get kicked out.”
“Who said anything about tampering with my records?”
“Um.” He yawns. “I just assumed. Because… Okay, don’t take this the wrong way, but how else are you going to pass it?”
“I’m going to fly.” My voice sounds too high and a little shaky when I say that, which doesn’t exactly make it convincing.
“You’re going to fly.”
“You don’t have to sound so skeptical.”
“You said it was impossible. You said there were hoops on the ceiling and that your uncle was dead set on failing you. So, yeah, I’m skeptical.”
“I have to make it work. I have to do this. So I’m going to.” Because if I don’t, then Mom and this stupid fear she put in my head both win, and that’s not okay.
“You’re going to fly through hoops?”
“I have to, don’t I?”
He yawns again. “You can’t really… I don’t want to say you can’t fly, because obviously you can, but not, you know, like that.”
“You want me to fail this test? You want me to not be there next year?”
“I didn’t say that. But, X, I mean… When’s the make-up test?”
“In two weeks.”
“So you’re telling me that you can barely get off the ground, but in two weeks’ time, you’re going to somehow be able to fly through hoops on the ceiling?”
He forgot the part about how I also have to do it well enough to impress Ted, who hates my guts and will probably fail me no matter what I do. I swallow. “Yep.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. Training, I guess?”
“Training. You guess.”
“I’ll figure something out, okay? But I’m passing that test. I’m not letting my stupid fear of heights keep me from being there next year.”
“It’s not stupid, X. You can’t help what you’re afraid of.”
No, but apparently Mom can. “I don’t care. It’s… I can’t let it get in the way this time.”
“X.”
“I can’t.”
“I know I was upset when you found out about the test. I know I said you have to be there next year, but if you’re doing this because of me… You don’t have to, okay?”
“This has been, like, the longest year of my life. There’s no way in hell I’m repeating it. And I’m not flunking out, or quitting, or letting my stupid letterist uncle think I can’t do it.”
Riley’s quiet for a second, and when he speaks again, his voice is kind of hushed. “Is this about what happened at the train station? During our mission?”
“No.” It’s mostly not, anyway.
“Because it was my fault I got caught. It was my fault that I fell. I don’t blame you.”
“Perkins, it’s not about that. And it wasn’t your fault.”
“Yeah, it was. I was afraid. I freaked out.”
“Me, too. But that’s not why I’m calling.”
“So, what happened? Because you did not lose track of time.”
“It’s nothing. I mean, I was over at my mom’s house,
and… It’s kind of a long story.”
“So?”
“So, it’s two in the morning.”
“Oh, now you care about that?”
“I’ll tell you tomorrow.”
“You sure? Because I’m already up, and whatever it was, it obviously really bothered you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” I yawn. “You can go back to sleep. I just needed you to know that I’m going to pass that test.”
“If you say so.”
“I do. I am. So if you were worried that I’m not going to be there next year, don’t be.”
“Okay.”
“I mean it, Perkins.” I’m not going to let my fear of heights beat me this time. And I’m not going to fail that flying test.
Even if I have absolutely no idea how.
Chapter 18
GRANDPA SLAMS HIS HAND down on the kitchen table, causing some of my lemonade to slop over the top of my glass. “Absolutely not.”
I pick up my lemonade—Grandma made it fresh this morning, and it’s really good—and take a drink, in case he does something else to spill even more of it. “It’s for school.”
“You know what I think of that damn school. And here they are again, putting you in danger.”
He means because me and Riley are supposed to find that painting, which means finding Frank. We looked online, but we couldn’t find anything about him. Not really, anyway. There were some mentions of a criminal named Frank, but only up until about ten years ago, and then it’s like he disappeared. None of it was very helpful, and I’m not even sure it was about the same Frank we’re looking for. There were a few more recent forum posts where people mentioned him possibly coming back or asked if anyone had ever actually seen this new Frank, but there weren’t any responses. Well, there were a few, but they’d all been deleted.
Which is maybe kind of ominous, but it could also just be a coincidence. And either way, it means we didn’t actually have anything to go on. Hence me coming to see Grandpa.
“Kat has pretty much the same assignment,” I tell him. “So it’s not just a Heroesworth thing.” Plus, Riley’s working on this, too, and as much as I could believe the school would give me an assignment they hoped I wouldn’t come back from, there’s no way they’d do that to him.
The Phobia of Renegade X Page 12