“It’s not your fault.”
“You don’t know. You weren’t there.”
“I know you would never do anything to hurt her. And you don’t know that she’s going to… that she’s not going to be okay.”
“She’s going to die. Just say it.” I suck in a breath. I feel like I can’t get enough air. And like I’m going to throw up.
“You don’t know that.”
“She is. She is, and you can say it’s not my fault, and that’s what she said, too, before she fell asleep. Because she can’t even stay awake for very long. But it is, and she doesn’t know, because she just said that, because she doesn’t want me to… to spend the rest of my life blaming myself. Because she’s not going to be there. And I’ll always know that I—” A sob interrupts me. I try to stop it, but I can’t.
“Damien, you can’t blame yourself for this.”
I shake my head. “She wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me. And now she’s in there, and I’m out here, and I have to go back. I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have come out here.” I try to move, to get out, but something’s stopping me. I realize it’s my seatbelt and scramble to unbuckle it, but my hands are shaking and my eyes are blurry and everything just feels so wrong.
“They won’t let you back in. We can try again later, after her father’s had a chance to cool down.”
“No. He won’t. He hates me, and he doesn’t think I deserve to see her, and he’s right, but I can’t—”
“He’s not right.”
“But he is, because if I’d stayed away from her—”
“Damien.” Gordon grabs my shoulders. He makes me look at him. “Listen to me. He’s not right about you. You and Kat really care about each other, and she’s lucky to have you in her life. And… you can’t stay away from the people you love just because they might get hurt.”
“She might die.”
“But not because of you.”
“She never got hurt when she was out with Tristan. Only when she was with me.”
“Because she loves you. Because she wanted to protect you.”
“We were supposed to… The rest of our lives—we were supposed to spend them together. Now she’s not. I don’t— I have to go back—”
“Later. We’ll come back later.”
“There might not be a later!”
“You need to calm down first. It’s not going to help anything for you to go see her like this. And you said she’s asleep. Let her rest for a while, and then we’ll come back. I’ll talk to her parents.”
“Her dad won’t listen to you.”
“I’ll talk to her mother, then. We’ll figure this out. But right now, there’s nothing you can do here.”
Chapter 41
RILEY HAS A WORRIED look on his face when I show up at his door later that afternoon. I told him what was going on with Kat. Well, I texted him, because I didn’t think I could say it out loud without freaking out again. And maybe it’s because of that, or maybe it’s because when he sees me he can tell I’ve been crying, but his forehead wrinkles up with concern, and he lets out a deep breath and says, “You look like hell, X. Like absolute hell.”
“Great. Thanks, Perkins. Kick me while I’m down why don’t you.”
“I just mean that you don’t have to be here right now.”
“Yes, I do, because we have to find Frank.” Because she’s the only one who might have the antidote.
Riley looks me over again, like he’s not sure I’m really up for that, but then he says, “Okay,” and I follow him inside.
Sarah’s sitting on the couch. She gets up when I come in. Her sleeves are balled around her hands, and she’s biting her lip, looking at me like I might break. Like she thinks I shouldn’t be here, either. “It’s really short notice,” she says, “for finding Frank, but I’m up for the challenge. I’ve been thinking about it since you texted earlier, and, well, I haven’t figured out a way to find her yet, but I’m working on it.”
“It’s okay, Sarah. I know where she’s going to be. My grandpa told me about a secret villain auction that’s happening tonight, and Frank’s going to be there, auctioning off the fear ray she stole. So that’s where we need to be, too.”
Sarah nods, though she doesn’t say anything.
Riley still looks worried. “X… Are you sure you’re up for this?”
“I’m okay, Perkins.”
“No, you’re not. Your girlfriend’s in the hospital. And even if you hadn’t told me how sick she was, I’d have known as soon as I saw your face. You’re obviously not okay, and… you don’t have to be.”
I take a shaky breath, hating that he’s right. “Fine, I’m not okay, but it doesn’t matter, because Kat doesn’t have a lot of time, and—” I swallow. “I have to do this.”
“Yeah, but we can give the info to someone else. There are tons of capable heroes in Golden City. We just need to find one and tell them about the auction. We could even call the police, and they’ll find someone to handle it. It doesn’t have to be us.”
That’s basically what I said, when I was trying to convince Grandpa this wasn’t my problem. I shake my head. I pace back and forth in front of the couch. “It has to be me, it has to be us. I can’t trust Kat’s life to anyone else, and I… I know I said this was my fault.” My voice gets tight, and my eyes sting, and I have to focus on breathing in and out so I don’t lose it in front of Riley and Sarah. Because I don’t want them to see me cry, but even more than that, it might make them decide I’m really not up for this, and I don’t want them doubting me. “And maybe it is. And maybe it’s hypocritical for me to say I don’t trust her life to anyone else, after what I did—”
“You didn’t do anything.”
“—but I just can’t. My grandpa trusted me with this information about the auction, not somebody else. And I trust you guys, not some random heroes we don’t even know. I can’t let Kat… I can’t let her die. And if I don’t do everything I can to save her, I won’t be able to live with myself. What happened with Frank is personal, and I have to fix it. The poison, the fear ray—all of it.”
“Okay,” Riley says, “but it’s not all on you. It wasn’t your fault. And either way, you don’t have to do this alone.”
“Right,” Sarah says. “We’re a team, and we’ll figure this out together.”
There’s a knock on the front door.
Riley rolls his eyes. “Zach must have forgotten his keys again.”
“It’s Tristan.” At least, I think it is, because this is when I told him to show up here when I messaged him on Facebook.
Riley gapes at me. “What do you mean it’s Tristan?”
“I invited him.”
“To my house?”
“He’s not my favorite person, either, but we need everyone we can get, and he was part of this. He screwed up at the gallery when he left his phone on, but we’d all be dead if it wasn’t for what he did on Saturday.”
“See,” Riley says, “now I know you’re not okay.” But he goes and answers the door anyway, and then Tristan joins us in the living room.
“Hey.” Tristan nods, acknowledging us and letting his backpack slide to the floor. “Is she… How is she?”
I shrug and look away. Her parents haven’t called to update me, and the only way I can keep it together is to assume that means nothing’s changed.
Sarah steps forward and holds out her hand to him. “Hi, I’m Sarah Kink, and we’re going to be working together on this. Kat might have mentioned me, since she was considering bringing me in on your last mission.”
Tristan raises his eyebrows at her—because of course Kat wasn’t considering bringing her in on that and it’s probably the first he’s hearing about it—and just sort of stares at her hand for a second before finally shaking it.
“Great,” Sarah says. “We’re glad to have you on board. When you get a chance, can you write down your blood type for me?”
“Sarah.” Riley nudges her.
“What? I said when he gets a chance. It doesn’t have to be right now.”
Tristan turns to me. “You mentioned a plan?”
“Frank’s going to be auctioning off the fear ray tonight,” I tell him. “The plan is we sneak into the auction, find her, and hope she has the antidote.”
“That’s your plan? Sneak in and hope?”
“She’ll have the antidote,” Sarah says. “If she uses poisoned knives, she’ll need to have it on her in case of emergencies.”
“But what if she doesn’t bring her knives to this thing and leaves the antidote at home?”
Sarah shakes her head. “She’ll have it. Or she can at least tell us what the poison is.”
“You think Frank’s going to tell us anything?” Tristan takes a step back, like he’s repelled by how wrong he thinks Sarah is. “We almost didn’t survive last time. We’re lucky to even be alive. And if it had just been me and Katie…” He shudders. “We wouldn’t have gotten out.”
Or if it had just been me and Riley. I hadn’t thought of it that way until now. “I’m not saying this isn’t going to be dangerous, because it is, and I get it if anybody wants to back out. Things might end badly tonight, and especially after what happened last time, I understand if anybody doesn’t want to confront Frank again.”
“X, come on,” Riley says.
“I mean it. If anybody wants to leave—”
“We don’t,” Sarah says. “We’re coming with you.”
I nod.
Tristan stays quiet.
Sarah clears her throat really loudly and gives him a pointed look.
I kind of thought he’d be on board with this, especially since he came all the way over here from Vilmore, but maybe he was only on board when he didn’t know we’d be facing Frank. Or maybe when he thought I actually had a plan that was at least somewhat thought out, and now that he knows that I don’t, maybe he doesn’t think it’s worth risking his life over. And maybe I shouldn’t have even brought Riley and Sarah into this, because I might just be leading them into danger, too. And even though I was relieved when they said they were coming with me, part of me also kind of hoped they wouldn’t. Because I have to do this, but they don’t, and if my plan’s going to get anybody killed, well, it should just be me.
But I need this to work—Kat needs it to—and I don’t like my chances of going in alone.
“It’s cool,” I tell Tristan. “You don’t have to do this.”
“No, I…” He takes a deep breath. “Confronting Frank is stupid. It’s crazy and reckless. Even for Katie, this is… it’s kind of insane.”
Riley glares at him. “Nobody asked your opinion. If you’re not going to be part of this—”
“I didn’t say that.” He scowls at Riley, then turns to me. “For the record, your plan is stupid. But I don’t have a better one, and Katie’s life is on the line, and…” He shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “You’re going to need my fire power. So I’m in.”
He says it like he’s doing me this big favor. Like I’m not possibly going to survive without his stupid fire power, even though I have lightning. And would win in a fight. Just, like, if anybody’s keeping track. And yeah, I know I asked him here because he saved our lives with said fire power, but I didn’t beg him. I didn’t say that we’d all be totally lost without him or not be able to pull this off. I just thought that maybe he cared about Kat enough to do this and that maybe he’d be useful.
But even though all those thoughts are kind of making one of my eyelids twitch—well, those thoughts along with the slightly condescending look he’s giving me—I restrain myself from telling him to get out of here. And from pointing out that all he can really do is start fires and that he’s basically just a walking book of matches and not to get too ahead of himself, even if he did save our lives or whatever.
So instead, somewhat grudgingly, I say, “Welcome to the group.”
“On a temporary basis,” Riley adds.
“Remember to silence your cell phone. And Sarah wasn’t kidding about needing your blood type.”
“A sample would really be best,” Sarah says. “Though since we’re in a time crunch, I guess I can get it from you later.”
Chapter 42
THE AUCTION IS AT an all-villain nightclub downtown. The kind of place where a bunch of villains could all gather for the evening and nobody would think anything of it. Plus, it’s a really high-end, fancy sort of place, or at least that’s what Grandpa told me, since I’m not actually in it yet. I am, however, wearing a nice jacket and pants that aren’t jeans in the hopes that I won’t stand out too much once we do get in, even though the whole city pretty much knows who I am and that I don’t belong here.
For now, though, I’m standing by the back door with Sarah and Tristan, waiting for Riley to come let us in. When we got here, it was obvious we wouldn’t be able to use the front entrance, and not just because there was a line running all the way from the door down the side of the building, which we really didn’t have time for. But none of us is eighteen, let alone twenty-one, and even though Sarah has a fake I.D., she doesn’t have a V on her thumb, which is mandatory at a place like this.
Tristan keeps jiggling his leg and sighing really loudly, like he just can’t wait to get out of here. “This sucks.”
Sarah purses her lips, making a sour face at him, and picks a piece of lint off her dress. I think maybe she’s regretting being so welcoming. “It’s just a few more minutes.”
He loosens the tie around his neck and scratches underneath the collar of his shirt. “If he shows up. And did I really have to wear this?”
I roll my eyes at him. “I said to bring something to dress up in—I didn’t say you had to wear a tie. And Riley will be here, so shut up about it.”
“I had to wear it to hide a tomato-sauce stain. And I give him two more minutes before we move on to plan B.”
Sarah pushes her glasses farther up the bridge of her nose. “We didn’t discuss any other plans.”
“We don’t need to discuss it.” Tristan jerks his thumb at me. “Use your celebrity status, man. All you have to do is go up to the front entrance and they’ll let you in.”
“Or ban me from the event. The whole city knows I’m underage. And that I don’t have a V.”
“I bet they’d still let you in, though. After all that sucking up you did with the Truth.”
I glare at him. Lightning prickles up and down my back. “If I go through the front entrance, Frank’s going to know I’m here. If they’d even let me in.” Which I’m not so sure about, and the last thing I need when we do get in is for security to be on the lookout for me. Er, I mean, that’s the second-to-last thing I need, since the first one is Frank, like, knowing we’re here and trying to kill us. But it’s still pretty high up on my list of things to avoid. “And if you’re going to whine all night, you can just go.”
“I wasn’t— I’m just saying, is all. Katie’s really sick, and we don’t have time for this. And your friend should have been here by now to let us in, so either he got caught or he decided to bail and we’re standing out here for nothing.”
“Maybe that’s something you would do,” Sarah says, sounding really pissed at him now, “but Riley wouldn’t. Not ever.”
“If you say so. I mean, hero type like him suddenly finds himself in a nightclub full of villains? Maybe he couldn’t take it.”
Sarah narrows her eyes at him. She puts a hand in her purse and digs around for something—probably something to murder him with.
“Dude,” I tell him. “Shut up. I didn’t bring you here so you could be a letterist douchebag and make tonight even worse than it already is.”
“I’m just saying that—” He stops himself. He takes a deep breath, then tries again. “It’s just hard standing around here when Katie’s in the hospital and it feels like we’re running out of time.”
I want to scream at him that her name is Kat—Kat, not Katie—and that he has n
o idea how freaked out I am or how hard this all is. But if I do that, I’m going to lose it and possibly end up attracting attention to us—either from shouting or by accidentally blowing a hole through the wall, which I guess is plan C—and I can’t afford that. So I push down the nerves and the feeling that if we don’t get that antidote in the next five seconds I’m going to throw up, and I tell him through clenched teeth, “Riley will be here.”
“He could have gotten caught.” Tristan keeps his voice low when he says that, like he really means it and isn’t just trying to cause trouble. “He can turn invisible, but it must be pretty crowded in there. Maybe he bumped into somebody, and they noticed, and—”
All three of us jump as the door beside us clicks open. It moves slowly at first, and even though this is what we’ve been waiting for, I have this moment where I worry it’s not Riley and that we’ve just been found out by the staff or something. But then Riley turns visible and motions for us to follow him inside.
“Took you long enough,” Tristan mutters.
Me and Sarah both glare at him.
“I got a little lost,” Riley says. “It’s really crowded in there, and the door I was going to use to get over here was locked, so I had to find another way around.”
I think Tristan’s going to say something snarky to that—he certainly looks like he is—and I’m ready to admit I made a mistake and tell him that he really should just get out of here. But then all he says is, “Are you guys coming or what?” as he follows Riley inside.
I was hoping it would be dark inside the nightclub, so there’d be less chance of anybody noticing us, or, more specifically, of recognizing me, but unfortunately the lights are all on, on account of the auction. Right now people are bidding on some supercharged raygun.
There are signs up everywhere that say all weapons are to be picked up after the auction, and only after full payment has been made. Sarah frowns at one of them, like she’s thinking what I’m thinking—what we’re all probably thinking—that the fear ray needs to not be on that list.
The Phobia of Renegade X Page 30