“I’ve been here,” he said, almost in a whisper. She could hear the same amused smile in his voice that had been there every day when, as kids, they had explored this exact cave.
“That’s not true. It can’t be.” When he didn’t say anything, she added, “You would have needed food and water.”
“And to think you accused your father of being too practical!”
“It’s not funny. You’re not making any sense. People would have seen you if you’d been here.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe not. I came here six years ago. I’m here now. In between, I’ve seen a lot of things I never knew about. Does anything else matter?”
“What are you talking about?”
She took another step forward, within arm’s reach of him. When she extended her hands, however, the happiness in his voice disappeared: “Please, don’t touch me.”
She stopped, cocked her head to one side, then said, “You were the one who left me. Not the other way around. I’m the one who should be mad.”
She sat down beside him, the space between them big enough for another person to squeeze in between.
If she could have ignored the war that was surely still being waged above her planet, if she could have forgotten that two of her best friends were dead, she might have been able to trick herself into believing it was like old times. She was with the one person she had loved, in the one place they had explored and talked more than any other. Then, life had seemed incredibly simple.
“Galen?”
“Yes.”
“Did you send the Green Knight?”
“You know I did.”
“Why?”
“I had to make sure you came back home. It was the only way I knew how.”
She opened her mouth to tell him she never would have left in the first place if he hadn’t chosen the Word over love. A stupid calling over everything they had! Occulus would have frowned at such a remark, though. She knew that much. Instead, she asked who he was.
Galen looked directly into her eyes. “The Green Knight, you mean?”
“Yes.”
“Bertilak de Hautdesert,” he said.
“Is that name supposed to mean something to me?”
Galen shrugged. When he saw she needed a better explanation, he said, “He fought in the Haiwan Wars.”
“Those wars took place a thousand years ago.”
“I know.”
When she only shook her head in annoyance, he pointed to where the Green Knight was still standing. But when she turned and looked, even though he was standing closer to the cave’s entrance than either Vere or Galen, and even though the ion cell from her blaster offered a modicum of light, she could barely make out the giant’s form in the shadows. The harder she squinted, the more she couldn’t differentiate between the Green Knight and the rock and moss. As she watched, more of the Green Knight blended in with the cave, until only his helmet and axe could be made out. A moment later, even these faded into the darkness of the cave. She closed her eyes for a moment to let them refocus, but when she looked again there was no distinction at all between the rocks and the knight. They were one and the same.
“I don’t understand,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.
“I made a deal with Mortimous.”
She cringed and looked at him with concern. “Galen, he’s been dead since before we were born.”
“I made a deal with him.”
“You aren’t making any sense. A dead magician brought a dead warrior back to life?”
She saw his eyes gleam with the same sense of wonderment he had often possessed when they were kids.
“Vere, you wouldn’t believe the things I’ve seen.”
“In the Word?” she said, bitterly.
He nodded. “Not in the Word; because of it. The Word isn’t a thing, it’s an idea. There is so much more to life than what we can see.” He smiled. “Some beautiful things. Some things misunderstood. Some pain and suffering even. But all of it amazing in one way or another. All of it miraculous if you look at it with open eyes.”
She sneered and said, “You left everyone you knew to seek some mystical nonsense rather than enjoy the life that was right in front of you?”
“No, Vere. It didn’t have anything to do with that. I left because it was my calling. It was what I had to do. If I hadn’t, no matter how happy I would have otherwise been, a part of me would have always known I was missing out on my destiny.”
“Your destiny?” she laughed.
“Destiny. Fate. Whatever you want to call it. My higher calling.”
“You were barely old enough to fly a starship. You’d never explored the galaxy. You spent every day with me in these caves! Yet, you knew your calling?”
“Yes.”
He answered in the same assured and confident way he always had when they were younger. It was one of the things she had loved about him then. Now, though, it made her shoulders clench, made the blood rush to her head.
“I loved you,” he said. “I still do. I always will. But I knew I was too curious to be satisfied with my place in life.” When she started to say something, he added, “Curious in a way that exploring caves wouldn’t have satisfied. Do you remember how many times I asked my parents or your parents a question and they didn’t have a good answer?”
“I remember.”
And she did. Everywhere they went, Galen had asked the adults questions that he never got decent answers to. Why was the universe created? How was it created? What was his place in it? She remembered how matter-of-factly he asked the questions, thinking the adults would know everything there was to know. She remembered the way his brows furrowed each time his parents or her parents had rubbed his hair and told him to do his homework and to let the adults worry about such things.
“Well, I’m learning those answers now,” he said. “I have been for the past six years. It has been extraordinary.”
“Extraordinary? You haven’t done anything. You’ve been in a cave.”
“In a way, yes.”
“In a way? Stop talking in riddles. You either have or you haven’t.”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Vere. The galaxy isn’t that simple. There is more, much more, to the galaxy than you or I ever realized.”
“Where are your wacko buddies in the Word? Are they getting answers too?”
“I told you: the Word isn’t a thing, it’s an idea. There is no organization. No one recruited me. It was just a calling. I have seen figures from a distance, some familiar, some not. I have had many long discussions with Mortimous, although I admit I always feel like I have even more questions than I started with after I’ve spoken with him.”
“He’s dead, Galen. He’s been dead for a long time.”
“I can assure you, I spoke with him just—” He paused, his eyes squinting in that way they always had when he was concentrating. “I’m not sure, maybe a day ago, maybe a week ago. Time doesn’t seem to work for me the way it used to.”
“And you made a deal with him? With a dead magician?”
Galen chuckled, ignoring her mocking tone. “He’s not dead. He’s not a magician, either. And,” he added with a contented grin, “you need to let go of your anger. I didn’t stop loving you just because there was something more I had to do with my life. I never stopped loving you. Not then, not now.”
She reached her hand out to touch his knee but he shied away until she withdrew it.
“You don’t understand,” he said. “All I wanted was to lead a better life, to find answers to all the questions that kept me up at night so I didn’t feel so lost all the time.”
“Lost, like I am?”
He smiled. “You aren’t lost. You’re here.”
“I’ve felt lost. I only left because—”
“Shh, you’re here now.”
They had spent the majority of their childhood days in this cave and the surrounding hills and tunnels. Exploring, talking, being free.
She still didn’t understand how he could give that up so easily.
“It wasn’t easy,” he said as if reading her mind. “But it was something I had to do.” And then he smiled, pitifully, adding, “Like you coming here to face the Green Knight wasn’t easy, but it was something you had to do.”
She looked over to where the Green Knight had been. If there was any remnant of him, she couldn’t see it. It was as if his body and armor had turned to moss and become part of the cave.
“I still don’t know how I didn’t kill him back in Eastcheap.”
“You can’t kill the Green Knight. He wasn’t alive when you saw him. Mortimous simply brought back his form. You could have chopped his head off twenty times and twenty times he would have put it back atop his shoulders.”
“Mortimous didn’t do anything. That crazy old man has been dead for decades.”
There was an audible sound of amusement and satisfaction in Galen’s voice when he said, “He’s as dead as the Green Knight then, I guess.”
“I don’t understand. Mortimous claimed to be a magician, a soothsayer.”
“He didn’t claim to be any of that. Those were the things people called him. All he ever claimed to be was a man seeking truth in the galaxy.
“I don’t understand,” she said again.
“Maybe you will some day.” Then, smiling, he asked, “If you could describe your life in one word, what would it be?”
“I swear, Galen, you’re either doing an impersonation of a friend who’s no longer alive or else you’re making fun of me. But either way, that’s not the type of thing I’m worried about right now.”
“Oh well,” he laughed and shrugged. “Maybe one day.”
“Why did you bring me here? It wasn’t to ask me questions.”
“It’s your destiny to be here,” he said. “No matter how much you tried to fight it, it’s your destiny to lead your father’s people. The CasterLan Kingdom hasn’t yet seen its greatest days.”
She groaned. “Please don’t start.”
“You have a good heart, Vere. But all too often your deeds don’t match what you’re capable of. You’re here now, though. That’s all that matters.” Then he reached into his pocket and withdrew a green bracelet. “Take it.”
He dangled it from his thumb and finger, letting it drop into her open palm. She held it up so the little bit of light that was available shined on it.
“I gave you this.”
He nodded. “A very long time ago. I didn’t stop wearing it just because I left. No amount of power or wealth, no other worldly possession, could have made me give this up.” He coughed, then said, “But it’s time for you to take it back.”
“Why?”
“I don’t need it where I’m going.”
“You’re leaving again?”
“In a way,” he said, somehow still sounding upbeat, the persistently cheerful tone that never failed to drive her mad when she was irritable.
She tucked the green bracelet into a pouch on her vest. After a moment, a thought crossed her mind and she said, “What would have happened if I hadn’t come back?”
When he didn’t reply, she reached out to touch his leg. Her fingers were only an inch away when he noticed and jumped back.
“Don’t touch me,” he gasped.
They remained like that for a moment, Galen sitting upright again, Vere thinking about everything he had said and also all the things he hadn’t said.
“Galen? What would have happened if I hadn’t come back to face the Green Knight?”
His face seemed to disappear into the darkness momentarily before reappearing with his eyes fluttering from the weight of what he was going to say.
“You would have died.”
“You would have let the Green Knight kill me?”
“It was part of the deal with Mortimous. Someone had to die—whoever touched the axe last. If you hadn’t come back, that would have been you.”
“But you already said the Green Knight can’t die.”
He said nothing. Nor did he move.
“Galen?”
Still, he remained silent. She replayed the Green Knight’s game in her mind. He had handed her his axe in Eastcheap. She and no one else, save for the Green Knight, had touched it. Then, only moments earlier inside the cave, the Green Knight had held his weapon until the game was over. Once it had finished, he had rested on the axe… and a hand had reached out from the shadows and touched it.
“Galen?”
She leaned forward to get a look at his face and gasped. The veins were protruding from his temples and forehead as if he were holding his breath, but instead of being blue, they were green. She looked down at his hands. They were even worse.
“That’s why I didn’t want you to touch me,” he said. “Not because,” and then he trailed off.
“Why did you do this?” she said, not mad or accusing, only concerned.
“I had to get you to come back. It was the only way.”
“Galen, I—”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “If this is part of my destiny, so be it. I did what I set out to do.”
“I loved you more than anyone else in the galaxy,” she said.
He smiled, but at the same time his eyes became wet and he had to blink away a tear. “I loved you more than anyone, Vere. But I didn’t love you more than everyone.”
“Galen, don’t—”
“By doing this, by everything I’ve done since walking away, I’ve helped more people and made a greater difference than by anything else I could have done. I hope some day you can understand that.”
“Galen?”
But instead of replying, he only groaned and leaned his head back against the rocks behind him. When she leaned closer, she saw the green of his veins had spread through the rest of his face and skin. His lips were green. His ears. Even his hair. He was becoming part of the Green Chapel the same way the Green Knight had.
“Tell me where Mortimous is,” she said. “I’ll kill him.”
“Don’t you realize?” Galen said, trying to smile. “He did the best thing he could have ever done.” He coughed. “I got to see the only person I’ve ever loved before I died. He got you to return to save your people.” He grinned, and a tear rolled part of the way down his face before being absorbed by the moss that covered it. “The galaxy is an incredible place when you start to see how it works.”
“Galen, I don’t want to lead these people. They had my father for that.”
“They still have him,” he said weakly. “But they need you now, too.”
“My father is dead.”
He tried to laugh but couldn’t. Instead, the attempt looked like it caused him pain. “He’s not dead, Vere.”
“He is. You don’t know because you’ve been in this cave for who knows how long.”
“He’s not dead. And his people need you. They—”
She waited for him to finish his sentence, but when he didn’t say anything she leaned closer.
“No,” she said, barely getting the words out. “No, no, no.”
Galen’s eyes were green and motionless. Already, she could see the cave reclaiming him. His back, where he rested against the cave wall, was indistinguishable from the stone. His skin glistened like the moss. His hands, sitting peacefully on his lap, looked to be made of rock rather than flesh.
There were so many more things she wanted to say. There were so many more questions she wished she could ask. Instead of saying any of it, she stood up, looked one last time at the features of Galen’s face before it disappeared into the stone, then walked back toward the cave’s entrance. As she did, she passed a formation of rock protruding from the cave wall exactly where the Green Knight had been.
67
“Sir?”
Modred looked at the closed door to the king’s chambers and wondered if he should let the man inside. On his earlier trip from the chambers to the control room he had felt the eyes of everyone he passed. They hadn�
�t been looking at him with kindness. Now, back in the chambers, he was becoming pickier and pickier about whom he let into the room.
He had the sinking suspicion that if he did open the door, an ambush would ensue. Would the officer on the other side of the door have brought with him a group of soldiers who were ready to slay the king’s stepson? Did they blame him for the Vonnegan fleet being here?
“Who’s there?” he asked.
“Sir,” the private answered, “You asked me to come see you with updates.”
For a moment, Modred thought about holding the conversation through the door, the private out in the common area where anyone else might be able to hear him. His left hand remained at an angle behind his back. In his hand, the king’s Meursault blade. With a gulp, he pressed the entry button and the door raised to reveal the young private.
“Come in, come in,” Modred said.
As soon as the private took two steps forward, the door to the chambers immediately closed again.
“What news do you have?”
The private grimaced and tugged at his collar. “Hotspur’s fleet is suffering massive losses.”
“I knew they would! I told him not to engage.”
“He is sending communications down, asking why we aren’t using the Crown to assist with the battle.”
“Because I said not to!”
“Is that what you would like me to tell him, sir?”
“Don’t get smart with me.”
“I wasn’t getting smart, I—”
Modred waved a hand for silence, then said, “Where is Vere CasterLan?”
“I’m not sure, sir.”
He threw his hands in the air and yelled, “How can you not be sure? You lost her? Tell me you didn’t lose her.”
“She was not aboard Hector’s ship when he arrived back at the port.”
“Maybe she’s dead,” he mumbled, nodding his head. Then added, “Where are the others?”
“They have split into two groups. One group is outside the main control room, trying to get inside.”
“They never will. It’s sealed tight. It’s blaster-proof.”
“Yes, sir.”
“And the other group?”
“The other group is heading for the upper levels of this building.”
The Green Knight (Space Lore Book 1) Page 24