by B. J. McMinn
“I know, and this way Emma will be where she should be. Here at the ranch with you. I’m sure Jade will be a loving mother to her,” Margaret replied wistfully.
“We’ll be alright. Jade and I. You don’t need to worry,” Jason assured her quietly.
“Yes you will. You both deserve happiness, and if you let yourself, I think you will find it together.” Margaret leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I think I’ll go to bed. You get some rest, too. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Sis.”
Jason sat there for some time watching the fire burn to golden embers. He and Margaret had seen each other through a lot over the years. She had fussed at him over many of the decisions he’d made, which surprised him that she had not said more about his marrying Jade. He got the impression she approved of this particular decision. Margaret and Sue Ellen had always been friendly, but they never appeared to achieve the same rapport Margaret had with Jade. As dainty as she was, Jade brought out protective instincts in everyone she met.
CHAPTER 17
Jason thought if the morning before had been a strained affair, today was absolutely unnerving. It would be hours before Preacher Evans arrived. Margaret buzzed around cleaning, putting the final touches to the house. To make it more festive she had placed flower arrangements in the area that she’d designated for the wedding.
Jade had cast wary glances at him until he was afraid she’d bolt from the house, start running, and never look back. He knew exactly how she felt.
Margaret asked him to place the tub from the back porch in Jade’s room so she could take a bath and get dressed. Margaret should have taken pity on him and had John do it. He was so nervous he spilled more water on the floor than went into the tub.
Every bucket of water he carried into Jade’s room only made him more aware of who would be sliding into the tub later. A picture of her sitting with knees bent, full breast bobbing in the sudsy water made his mouth go dry. He felt like a man being tortured inch by inch. His nerves about the ceremony were bad enough, but this was pure agony. He kept having a nagging suspicion about Margaret’s motives in giving him this chore.
Jason chuckled as John tried to keep Janey from picking the flowers Margaret set out, Emma out of the water Jason spilt on the floor, and Tyler from using his finger in the icing on the cake. Finally, he put the cake out of reach, mopped up the water and gave Janey her own flower if she would leave all the others alone. Trying to corral three small children was more of a task than Jason realized. His admiration for mothers went up several notches.
Cookie volunteered to do most of the cooking in the cook shack, leaving Margaret free to give particular attention to the wedding cake. She had not been there the last time he’d married, and she was trying hard to make this wedding special for him and Jade.
Margaret urged him to bath and dress in the bunkhouse. One of his two ranch hands was helping Cookie, the other he’d sent to fetch Preacher Evans from town. Jason stripped off his clothes and sank into the tub of hot water. With the bunkhouse empty, he was left alone with his thoughts. He decided the thoughts he could have done without. They were in the house, in Jade’s bedroom, in the tub. In the foaming liquid, he envisioned swirling around her body, all soft and warm.
Angry and frustrated, he needed to think of anything, but where his mind had strayed. The water cooled as his thoughts drifted into a different time.
He and Sue Ellen had had one year together. She had been so young, barely eighteen when they had married, the same age when she had died. Sue Ellen had been rather tall for a woman, a little on the thin side, with dark brown hair. She had tried hard here at the ranch. But never quite managed to do things as efficiently as Margaret had or with such ease and it had bothered her a great deal.
Several times Jason had come home to find her crying, upset over some small thing such as not being able to cook and set the table at the same time, without burning something. He would teasingly suggest she set the table first, then start cooking. He remembered her tilting her head sideways, laughing then saying, “Now why didn’t I think of that.” He taught her small things a little at a time to make her life on the ranch less difficult. He liked to think her life had been easier after she came here to live.
Life with Sue Ellen had been good. Now, it was time to look to the future for him and Emma. He needed to put the past behind him. Preacher Evans would be here within the next hour. He and Emma would start a new life with Jade.
He rose, toweled himself dry. Slipping into his best trousers, he tucked in his green shirt, which Margaret had insisted he wear, and pulled on his freshly polished boots. He supposed he was as ready as he would ever be. Opening the door, he headed for the house with an anticipation he wasn’t willing to examine too closely.
~~~
Jade laid her head back, closed her eyes to let the water relax the tension that had been building and getting worse as they waited for the Preachers arrival. Doubts began to creep in. Was she doing the right thing for Jason? For Emma?
For herself, she had no doubts.
He said all he wanted her for was to take care of Emma. A ‘marriage of convenience.’ She mulled the idea over repeatedly. Could a man live in such a state and remain faithful. Her derisive snort fanned the bubbles floating in the water. She rather doubted that bit of nonsense. But maybe he wasn’t attracted to her as she was to him.
It would devastate her if he went to someone else for his manly needs. A painful ache settled deep in the center of her heart. If he did, hopefully, he’d be discreet. Her eyes would have to be as blind as her lips were silent. Perhaps, marriage would bring a form of a commitment between them.
In her mind’s eye, she saw him, tall and broad shouldered with the most handsome face she had ever seen. Even though he came to her in the middle of the night to give her comfort from the darkness, she shouldn’t take this to mean he had any affection for her. She would give their marriage her best effort to make it work. To make him care for her. Deep inside, she knew she needed him to hold back the darkness or it would consume her. She needed him far more than he needed her.
She rose from the water, dried, and slipped into the wedding dress Margaret had surprised her with this morning. Margaret was a very special person. She never asked questions, never expected her to speak. It was as if she understood what Jade had been through and waited patiently for her to make peace with whatever had rendered her mute.
The mattress sank when as she sat on the edge to comb her hair. Margaret suggested she leave her hair loose and gave her a green ribbon to hold it in place. They agreed Jade would wait in her room until everything was ready. John would fetch her for the ceremony.
No more reflecting what happened before, she told herself, time would heal the past. She must look forward to her new life. A knock sounded at the door. Jade rose, slowly crossed the room to face her future.
When Jade opened the door, John eyes widened as if amazed at the change in her. She had washed and dried her mass of curly hair and tied it at the nape of her neck.
John laughed as if he knew a secret and refused to share it with her. She thought he mumbled something about a snowball in hell.
She placed her ice-cold hand on his sleeve. Today he was playing ‘father of the bride.’ Margaret confided in her that John considered it a great pleasure to present her to his brother-in-law and best friend.
“Are you ready?” he asked, as the door closed behind her.
She gave him a wobbly smile.
“You look beautiful. Jason will be pleased,” John assured her with a soft smile.
Jade moved into the large living area. If it hadn’t been for her hand on John’s arm, she was afraid her knees would have buckled. Her step faltered. A piece of time flashed through her mind of another place, another time, another man. A young man with blond hair. The image was gone before she could grasp hold of it and bring it into focus. She prayed it would not be something that would come back to haunt her later, if or when her memory
returned.
At the thought, she felt the blood drain from her face. John must have noticed how pale she’d become because he braced his hand under her elbow.
“Not having second thoughts are you?”
She shook her head, took a deep, bracing breath, straightened her back, and started forward. Despite her petite size, she was stronger than most people thought. Otherwise, she could never have lived through her months with the Indians.
Jason waited beside the fireplace where Margaret decided to have the ceremony. Margaret held Janey while Tyler stood beside her. Emma was in Cookie’s arms, and Pete and Willie stood behind him. Preacher Evans stood before them holding his Bible.
They all turned as one when she and John moved entered the room.
~~~
The carefully banked fire inside Jason ignited. That dress, he knew had to be one of Margaret’s, but it had never looked quite like that on his sister, he was sure. It must be because she had hemmed it. Yes. That’s it. It’s shorter. That’s why it looked so.... so, damn good. However, the hem had nothing to do with how Jade filled out the bodice to almost bursting the seams.
The dress displayed her woman’s body to perfection. The bodice dipped low enough to tantalize, yet revealed nothing. The vivid green brought out the green in her eyes. Her hair shimmered around her shoulders like molten flames. Heat sizzled up his thighs to settle in his groin then danced along each nerve ending.
As John escorted Jade to the small group, Jason’s never took his gaze from her. His eyes traveled the length of her. She took her place beside him just as he completed his top to bottom appraisal. He smiled when he saw her toes peek from beneath her dress. No one thought to supply shoes for her. But, she looked perfect to him.
Jade’s knees threatened to buckle as she stepped forward to take her place next to Jason. He’d brushed his dark hair away from his forehead, including the lock that usually occupied the place over his left eye. He was dressed in dark trousers. The shirt he wore surprised her. The cotton shirt nearly matched the color of her dress. A leather bola tied loosely around his neck completed his wedding finery.
He looked perfect to her.
Preacher Evans cleared his throat to gain the attention of the two standing in front of him totally engrossed in one another. Previously informed of the bride’s name, he began the ceremony.
“We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony.”
He began the ceremony with expounded words of wisdom, dedication, faithfulness, and concluded with profound solemnity of the sanctity of marriage.
“Jason, do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold in sickness and in health till death do you part?”
These were the same words Jason had spoken less than two years ago to Sue Ellen. He glanced quickly down at Jade’s stomach and prayed the words would not come as soon for Jade as they had for Sue Ellen.
“I do,” Jason said with unconditional commitment.
With two words, he instantly realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman. The reason had nothing to do with his daughter. Somehow, she had slipped under his guard with her quiet, unassuming way. She had the strength to survive this harsh way of life.
“Jade, do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health till death do you part?”
Jade agonized over the familiar words. She sensed she had said these words before, but she didn’t feel bound by them. She prayed this was true. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember. The words were lost in the darkness with the rest of her past.
Without taking her eyes from Jason’s, she nodded in agreement.
Preacher Evans, apparently oblivious to Jade’s lack of speech, waited patiently for her to reply. As the minutes ticked by, he probably thought she’d changed her mind.
One bushy eyebrow quirked upward. “Do I need to repeat the question?” Preacher Evans inquired.
Distracted from one another, she and Jason turned to stare at him. Did he think her odd because she didn’t speak? Everyone else took it for granted her nod was a sufficient answer.
“She does,” Margaret spoke for Jade.
Everyone’s gaze shifted to Margaret.
“Margaret, you are not the one getting married,” Preacher Evans smiled indulgently. “The bride should speak for herself.”
Red spots of color fused Margaret’s cheeks. Jade wondered if she’d forgotten to tell him this minor detail. She opened her mouth to say something else, but the preacher lifted an index finger, waved it in front of her face, and shook his head.
Margaret’s mouth snapped shut.
Jade touched his arm. Her gaze begged him to understand. Would he recognize the plea in her eyes and accept her nod as the response he sought? He swallowed–what she could only assume was a lump of pity that she’d seen in his eyes–before he stared at Jason. Did he think Jason didn’t understand the consequences of marrying her?
When Jason gave a slight nod, the preacher lifted one shoulder in a “well it’s your business” shrug and continued.
“I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.”
Kiss? Jason had forgotten this part. What should he do? His blue gaze collided with green. Blue dropped to full lush lips. Green slowly closed in acceptance. Blue fought the urge to plunge forward, lips first. Sanity prevailed. Jason leaned forward and placed a kiss right above green, in the middle of Jade’s forehead.
Amid the congratulations given the bride and groom, Margaret thanked Preacher Evans for riding out so early in the morning to perform the wedding. She also added an apology for not informing him of Jade’s difficulties.
Margaret had spread a delicate yellow tablecloth on the table with a bouquet of flowers in the center. She brought out Jason’s set of their mother’s china to add elegance to the setting. Preacher Evans asked the blessing and the meal began.
The beef, Cookie had roasted over the fire-pit he had dug the day before, had cooked to perfection. Ears of corn, still in the husks, along with large potatoes he’d thrown on top of the coals to cook. Margaret’s freshly baked bread, cream gravy and wedding cake completed the meal. Surely, Jade thought, this would satisfy the men’s hearty appetites. She couldn’t have asked for a better wedding feast.
“If you gentleman would entertain the children, Jade and I will clean the kitchen. Then we can be on our way home and arrive before dark,” Margaret said.
“Good. I miss my own bed. I must be getting old,” John whispered in his wife’s ear as the others left the room.
“Yes, I can tell how old you’re getting every time you get into bed beside me,” Margaret taunted, giving him a wink and saucy smile.
John chuckled and swatted Margaret’s behind then turned red when he saw Jade had overheard their exchange.
Jade envied them the ease in which they teased each other. Perhaps someday she and Jason would share the same type of relationship.
Late that afternoon, Jade and Jason stood on the porch, waved goodbye to everyone, and watched the wagon disappear down the road. Since Emma was taking a nap, the house reeked in silence. Jade wandered around the room picking up pieces of flowers left scattered about in Janey’s enthusiasm to help.
Jason had gone to the barn directly from the porch, and she had not seen him since. She wondered if he planned to spend any time at all with her on their wedding day. They had spent scarcely any time together in the less than two weeks she’d been here. With an odd twinge of disappointment, Jade admitted he had not married her for any reason except to take care of his daughter. Certainly not for her quiet company. She had simply hoped for more.
Emma woke from her nap with a fretful cry. Jade didn’t blame her. She felt like crying, too. She played peek-a-boo with the child until her mood improved then searched for something for her to play with.
Emma held a spoon in one hand with a pan settled between her chubby baby legs. Giving the pan
a resounding whack, it echoed in the large room, and the little girl giggled. She soon gave the spoon and pan up for more energetic pursuits, preventing Jade from realizing the passage of time.
Jade scooped Emma off the floor to feed her, and get her ready for bed. Jason had still not returned to the house. She assumed he must be with Cookie, Pete, and Willie. More than likely, he ate supper with them, also. She decided to eat and go to bed. It had been a long day, and she was tired.
CHAPTER 18
Jason couldn’t bring himself to go back into the house. He knew he should be there to help Jade with Emma, but being that close to her after the vows they’d exchanged would tempt him to break his promise.
From the barn, he saw the lamp in the kitchen go out. When he thought Jade would be asleep, he made his way into the dark house. Standing in the kitchen, he stared at Jade’s closed bedroom door and wondered what she wore to bed. Did she wear the-thin-as-smoke nightgown that she’d worn the first night she’d dined with the family?
A sucking sound came from Emma’s crib. She lay on her stomach, a thumb stuck in her mouth. He pulled her closer to the fireplace to keep her warm. Jade would be a good mother to his daughter. If only he didn’t lose control of his lust, and ruin everything.
Unwrapping a loaf of bread, he sliced off two thick pieces then put a piece of meat between them. Jade had left the coffee pot on the stove. He touched the side with his fingertips. Good. Still warm. He poured a cup. Careful not to make any noise, he pulled out a chair and sat at the table. He’d thought about eating with Cookie and the ranch hands but didn’t want to answer their questions. He’d spent the last few hours in the barn, doing nothing but killing time.
When he finished his meal, he cleaned the table and went to his room. He lay on his empty bed and waited for sleep that proved as elusive as Jade’s speech.
On his back, he counted the moonbeams that danced on the far wall. The same muffled cry he’d heard each night since Jade came to live with him echoed into the silent house. It tore at his heart. He rolled over and held the pillow over his head to drown out the sound of her distress.