OUT OF THE DARKNESS (THE PRESCOTT SERIES)

by B. J. McMinn

  How could he go to her knowing he was entitled to marital rights he’d promised he wouldn’t claim? Making Jade his wife had stirred some primitive emotion deep inside him. An emotion he wasn’t sure he could hold in check if he went to her tonight, their wedding night. When he could stand no more of her fretful cries, he grabbed a blanket and headed for the barn.

  The next morning, Jason came through the kitchen door and was met by an enticing sight; Jade bent over removing biscuits from the oven. With her delectable backside arched toward him, he’d clearly spent a long cold night in the barn for nothing. Greeted with this view, the ache in his groin returned with a vengeance. Funny how he hadn’t noticed the lack of a woman in his life until exchanging vows with Jade. Now his every thought focused on the ache. The ache, only Jade could assuage.

  Jade tugged a chair out, indicated that he should sit down, and then handed him a plate piled high with ham and eggs. Biscuits sat on the table beside a large container of butter. Fresh grape jelly was off to the side where Emma couldn’t reach it. Jade sat down with her own plate and stared at him. Puzzled, he stared back. One small finger pointed upward then she folded her hands under her chin. Understanding dawned. She wanted him to ask the blessing.

  During this last week, she and Margaret had worked together with a quiet efficiency that amazed him, considering Jade’s lack of speech. With his sister gone, he’d have to be more attentive to Jade’s hand motions.

  After the prayer, Emma broke the silence with her baby chatter and by pounding her spoon on the table. Jade turned her attention to his daughter who held a biscuit in one chubby hand while Jade fed her scrambled eggs, along with tiny bits of ham. She managed to eat while feeding Emma. He admired Jade’s seemingly endless patience with his daughter.

  Jade was exhausted. She hadn’t slept well. Forgotten terror had filled her night. The shadows that lurked in her past followed her through her nightmare. She’d tossed and turned waiting for the voice to deliver her from her fear. It never came. She had been lost to the mercy of the darkness and it had none. Morning found her crying, huddled upon her bed in fear, with no promise of respite.

  Why had he not come? A cold wave of apprehension swept over her. Since they were married, did he no longer feel kindness was necessary to get her to stay and care for Emma? Her heart skipped a beat in fear. Dread of the nights to come seeped into the marrow of her soul.

  How could she face each night, knowing the darkness waited for her? Knowing it would eventfully destroy her without the voice to deliver her from its murky depths. She would drop off into a world of insanity and not find her way back without the voice to guide her.

  Jason gazed at Jade. Her eyes held the look of despair. A look he had not seen since the first day she’d came here, and it was his fault. Guilt ate at him. Knowing how her nightmares haunted her, he had left her to cope with them alone. He didn’t know what they were. Only that she feared them. He would not do it again, he vowed. It would be hard, but he would not leave her to fight her battles by herself. He had taken her for better or worse. He might as well get the ‘worse’ part over with now, Jason thought ruefully.

  “Why don’t I clean up the table? If you get Emma ready we’ll take a short walk,” Jason suggested. Margaret talked to her never expecting an answer, just accepted the fact she understood. Maybe, he should, too. Otherwise, it would be maddening never to talk to her simply because she didn’t speak in return.

  Jade smiled, picked up Emma and washed her hands and face. She put a light sweater on the little girl to shield her from the cool morning air. They were ready by the time he finished the dishes.

  Jade looked worn out but he couldn’t pass up an opportunity to spend time with her, and the baby gave him a good excuse.

  They didn’t walk far. Jason carried Emma, patiently showing her a spider’s web draped in a bush. Delicate threads still held the morning dew trapped in its silky tangle. Bits of moisture sparkled in the sunlight. Thankfully, the spider was not in residence or Emma might want to snatch the thing up and put it in her mouth. Instead, a late blooming rose, nestled among the branches of the thorny bush, caught her attention. A smile of amazement brightened her elfin face. Her head swiveled from him to Jade then back to the beautiful flower.

  “No, don’t touch,” Jason instructed her when she reached for the flower.

  Emma smiled at him and withdrew her hand. He stood to walk farther when he noticed Jade’s slow pace. Fatigue lined her delicate features. Goose bumps covered her arms from the cool morning air. He felt guilty, again.

  He had thought more of his lustful urges than of the fear her nightmares held for her. He knew more than anyone how she suffered each night. He could see the strain of the night before in her face. Again, he promised he would never leave her again to face the night alone.

  Remembering her feet at the wedding, he wondered if she had found shoes somewhere. A moment ago, he could have sworn he saw bright pink peeking from under her yellow skirt with each step she took.

  Apparently, Cookie saw her toes at the wedding. He must have taken it upon himself to rectify the situation. All of Cookie’s socks were a reddish color because he washed them with his red long johns. If Jason hadn’t been so neglectful, which made him feel guiltier, he would have laughed and teased her about her color combination.

  “Let’s go back to the house,” Jason said. Shifting Emma in his arms, he took Jade’s elbow as they turned toward the house.

  He didn’t know if she trembled from the cold, or if it was his hand that shook from suppressed desire. Considering she didn’t pull away, he assumed she thought it was her reaction to the cold air. If not, he hoped she would not guess what caused his hand to tremble.

  Once in the house, Jason set up a fenced in area of smooth, polished flat boards to place Emma in. The pen kept her safe when he was busy and couldn’t watch her every minute. He had made one for Tyler when he was small. Margaret now used it for Janey.

  He retrieved Margaret’s old trunk from his bedroom. Jade could alter these clothes to fit her until they could go into town to get her some clothing.

  When he returned, Jade was walking around Emma’s pen, running her hand delicately along the boards and hinges trying to figure out how it fit together. A shudder went through him like wild fire, imagining those fingers caressing his skin, trailing down his chest to the waistband of his trousers, flipping the top button free, and then working their way downward.

  His dropped the trunk on the floor with a thud to halt his wayward thoughts. He adjusted himself inside his trousers before he turned toward Jade.

  “Here let me show you how it works. The sides butt up against each other. This pen slips into the metal loops to hold it together.”

  Jade smiled, lifted the iron pin to let it slide into the loop several times, letting him know she understood.

  Even this small show of understanding could send Jason’s blood soaring. Carnal images soared. Erotic thoughts of the long cylinder piece of hard metal slipping in and out of the small hole played havoc with Jason’s mind.

  “It will keep her out from under foot while you work, and she doesn’t mind being in there,” he explained, checking the lust that had raced through him. “Tyler was a terror when put into his. Margaret abandoned hope of him ever getting use to it,” Jason laughed. “I think he outgrew it before he ever accepted being confined. That boy likes his freedom.”

  Jade’s smile grew bigger as he told his amusing story. She tilted her head up to look him in the face. With a smile on his lips, he slowly lowered his head to bring him closer to the luscious mouth that tempted him beyond reason. Realizing what he was doing, he quickly straightened. With a groan of self-derision, he swallowed hard several times, turned away, and grasped for control. Somehow, he was going to have to ignore the desire she aroused in him.

  “Why don’t you look in the trunk to see if there is anything you can use? There might be a pair of shoes. If they’re too large, we could stuff the toes to hel
p make them fit,” Jason suggested as his heart slowed to a reasonable pace. “We’ll need to go to town soon to get supplies for the winter. We can get what you need then.”

  They spent the morning sitting on the floor sifting and sorting the contents of the trunk. What Jade could use, she placed on the floor, the rest she replaced in the trunk. Emma, after kicking up a fuss to be out of her playpen, stood holding onto the edge of the trunk. She tugged everything out and threw it on the floor. Finally, she sat down with a batch of ribbons and pulled them through her chubby fingers.

  Jade accepted the pair of shoes Jason found. She lifted the hem of her dress to tug off Cookie’s heavy red socks. Jason held a pair of women’s hose in his extended hand. She slipped them from his grasp before turning her back to him. She pulled the hose on and realized she had nothing to hold them up.

  One of Jason’s fingers dangled a garter over her shoulder.

  “See if this will help,” he offered.

  She glanced behind her to find Jason on his knees, a devilish grin on his handsome face. His blue eyes sparkled with interest in the proceedings as his gaze slid along the length of her exposed leg. Her pulse quickened at his interest.

  Jade nodded her thanks. Taking the garters, she turned around to finish donning the shoes, smiling to herself. She was aware he had not sat back down, but stayed on his knees looking over her shoulder. He may not care for her, but he was definitely attracted to her. Jade’s lips quirked upward in a self-satisfied smile. Let him look.

  Sensually sliding the garter along her leg, she slowly pulled her dress up. She positioned the garter just below her knee to hold the stocking in place. First one leg, then the other. At last, she shook the hem down, concealing the view Jason had obviously enjoyed.

  The remainder of the day went by in a whirl. Emma was fussy from cutting teeth. Finally, after much bouncing and walking the floor, Jade laid her down for a nap.

  A pot of stew bubbled on the stove. Her husband had gone to do his chores. A child lay asleep. Content, she sat hemming one of the dresses thinking how different was life here than in the Indian camp.

  Jason came in from the barn to eat. She sat aside her sewing and picked up Emma who was beginning to stir.

  Supper was silent, but relaxed. After Jason cleaned Emma and dressed her for bed, he sat in his favorite chair and read to her. Jade washed and put away the dishes. Sitting in the chair opposite his, she finished hemming the dress she began sewing before supper.

  Jason gazed at Emma asleep in his arms. Her left thumb hung loose from the edge of her puckered mouth. Brushing a stray lock from the baby’s face, he smiled down at his daughter, thankful to have this special moment with her. Jade’s presence made times like this possible.

  He’d always enjoyed this time of the evening when he and Margaret would discuss their individual days. The early habit of talking with Margaret was hard to break.

  “Pete and Willie brought the south herd in closer to the east pasture today.” Jade’s head lifted in interest so he continued. “They’ll be easier to tend to in the winter months ahead. A few stragglers refused to go with the main herd. We’re going to ride out tomorrow to bring them in.”

  It felt good to talk about his day. Jade listened as her sewing lay unattended in her lap. Encouraged by her rapt attention, he explained the process of letting outlying pastureland rest until next spring because grass would grow faster if not grazed. Later they’d drive the cattle back to the outer pastures to give the closer pastures time to grow before the rotation began again for the next winter.

  “We should be able to get the rest of the cattle moved tomorrow,” he explained, finishing his comments on rotating herds and pasture preservation.

  “Why don’t we plan on going to town the day after tomorrow?” he suggested. “We can arrive before noon if we leave early. Would you like to stay the night?”

  An enchanting smile touched her lips, and she nodded.

  Didn’t she realize what a tempting picture she made when she smiled like that? He rose to avoid her allure and placed Emma in her bed by the fire. Stoking the embers, he laid on another large log. Lifting the glass chimney on a lamp, he trimmed the wick, before lighting it, then repeated the same process with another lamp. He placed one on the table beside Jade. The other he set on the table next to his chair.

  Jade thought they behaved like an old married couple, sitting together, her sewing, Jason reading. The way he talked about his day brought a closeness she craved. Only they were not close in the true sense of the word. Otherwise, they would be going to bed together.

  Instead, she would go to her room, lie down on her bed, and wait. Then it would come: the fear, the darkness, the loneliness. Each had its place in her nightmares. She fought the moment when sleep would overtake her. It was worse now that the voice had gone.

  “Are you ready to call it a night, Jade?”

  Jason worded his question as not to alarm her. He didn’t want her to think he was expecting more than their bargain required. Her green eyes held such fear and confusion when her gaze lifted to his. It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms and rock her as he would Emma.

  Slowly, Jade laid her finished dress aside, rose, and ambled toward her bedroom. He added more wood on the fire and doused one lamp.

  He turned. Jade stood at her door, alone and dejected. He wanted to console her. To convince her tonight would not be a repeat of last night. He would come to her in the stillness of the night when he was sure his presence would not frighten her.

  “Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning.” How he ached for her.

  Jade walked through the door into her own private torment.

  The murky depths were there, where no light penetrated. The darkness absorbed her. Always the darkness sought her, claimed her, and then refused to relinquish its hold. Tonight she had drifted deeper into the darkness. The voice was gone. She grieved its loss. It had not come the night before. Now she was left alone with the shadows and fear that consumed her. Terror engulfed her. The void loomed darker. A faint shimmering substance reached the edges of her clouded mind. Blood. Glowing red. Streaming toward her as she tossed, trying to move, but it spread its dark wings over her, covering her completely. She screamed, yet no sound came. All was silent.

  Then the voice came, faintly at first, gaining strength with each word–persistent in its quest. The darkness began to recede. It became shades of gray, then gradually a soft haze. Warm and secure she slept.

  Jason woke slowly, immersed in the warmth lying next to him. His arm, draped around her waist, pressed her body into the curve of his own. He closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and let his body enjoy the softness of the woman he held: the smell of her hair, the sweet scent that was hers alone. His body tightened. He had been so long without the pleasure of holding a woman beside him in sleep. He wanted to savor each nerve-racking sensation, before she awoke.

  One hand lay on his chest, palm down. She had tucked her bright, red head underneath his chin. Her hair spread in a tangled mass across his chest. Small dainty feet snuggled between his legs for warmth. Her full, yet slim, womanly hips fit firmly against his groin which was starting to stir to life.

  How, he wondered, could such a slight, slip of a girl cause such a wild, turbulent, emotions deep within him? Tenderness, compassion, even admiration, but most of all this groin-pulsating desire.

  He had not meant to sleep through the night next to her. But, as he sat on her bed speaking to her, it seemed he couldn’t reach her. Her nightmare had sucked her into its relentless grasp, not willing to relinquish her to his continual efforts. Finally, he slid under the covers and held her close. Crooning soft words, he soothed her fears. She quieted, and he’d fallen asleep.

  He gently rose to leave the room. He took one last look back to see if he had disturbed her. She slept on. Beautiful, desirable, unattainable. Jason closed the door, leaving his dreams and hopes behind.

  CHAPTER 19

  Jade spent the
day acquainting herself with her new home. If they were going to town the next day, as Jason said, she would need a list of supplies. Making a thorough inspection of the kitchen, Jade noticed many staples were in short supply. There were several things they would need. She made a mental note of each item. She had cleaned the kitchen and her bedroom. The living area required little attention.

  At Jason’s bedroom door trepidation coiled in her stomach. Should she enter or not? After all, this was Jason’s personal domain. The room he’d shared with his wife. He may not want her, Jade, here in this inner sanctum. From where she stood, she could not see any item that resembled a cherished and private shrine to his wife. One foot stepped over the threshold, the other followed. She couldn’t leave this room unattended or uncared for any more than she could leave the rest of the house unclean.

  His clothes hung over the back of a chair that matched the desk beside it. The washbasin, a duplicate to the one in her room, was against the wall that separated their rooms. Just as in her room, there was only one window to let the sunlight in to dance across the floor. A small table stood beside the bed holding only a lamp and a hairbrush. A rug, made similar to hers, lay on the floor beside the bed.

  Jade looked at the rumpled bed and remembered the warmth of her own bed this morning, as if someone had just left before she awoke. Her blood surged with the thought of sharing a bed with Jason. But, he didn’t want her, he wanted a ‘marriage of convenience’, and she had best not forget. Oh, but what if? A deep sigh escaped her.

  She wondered if she had shared a bed with a man before, slept beside him, enjoyed the warmth of two bodies lying close to one another. Heard the soft whisper of covers moving in the still of the night as those same two bodies created a warmth of their own. Of course, in her condition, the answer was yes. She had no memory of making love and wondered if reality had been as wonderful as she imagined it would be with Jason.