“Okay.” That was all he needed to hear.
He made his way back to Ethan’s room—between her directions and his memory, it wasn’t too difficult. He knocked on the door. Nothing. He knocked again and thought he heard motion so he stood and waited. He might have to return to Val’s room sooner than he’d hoped. He shook his head. No way was he gonna hit on the girl without showering and brushing his teeth.
Zane answered the door, looking disheveled and in pain. Brad knew why. Yeah, Brad had had way too much to drink and had been hurting because of it, but Zane had mixed rum and vodka, a killer fucking combination. Zane looked exhausted too. He’d be glad he didn’t have to travel today. When Zane saw it was Brad at the door, he stood back to let his friend in. “Where you been?”
“Over at Val’s.”
Zane raised his eyebrows. “You fuckin’ with me?”
Brad grinned on one side of his face. “Nothing happened.”
Zane tilted his head back toward Ethan’s bed where Ethan lay, sprawled out and alone. Brad wondered what had happened to the girl with the blowjob mouth who’d been hanging with his friend the night before. “You’ll have a hell of a time convincing him of that.”
The smile on Brad’s face faded. “You think I give a fuck what he thinks?”
Zane raised his eyebrows and sat on the edge of the bed, avoiding Jennifer’s feet. “You know he and Val dated for a while, right?”
“We’re not goin’ there, man. You have no fuckin’ idea.”
“What?”
Brad shook his head. He really didn’t want to go there. He’d have to, though, or Zane would think he was a scuzzball. He sighed. “I was interested in Valerie the weekend you guys came home and brought her with you…and I asked Ethan if he would care if I pursued her. And guess what? He said no.”
Brad watched the realization wash over Zane’s face. Yeah, the bassist knew—when he really thought about it—that it made perfect sense. Valerie wasn’t Ethan’s type—not even close. Zane had known Brad for a while but hadn’t been close friends with him, so he might not have known that Val was the kind of girl Brad was attracted to. It made no sense, really. With the tattoos and the hair, the whole music lifestyle Brad was pursuing, the last kind of girls he should be pursuing was nice girls. The dads of the girls Brad had dated never said anything, but it was obvious they hated him. Hell, part of him believed that was why Leah’s dad had moved their family to Lakewood.
He knew that wasn’t true, and he’d started to sense Leah wouldn’t have wanted him forever anyway. That was okay. What he felt for Val…well, it felt different somehow. And he knew she felt something too.
Zane shook his head. “Sorry. I didn’t know.”
“It’s cool, man.” He looked around. Nick and the girl he’d been with weren’t where they’d been the night before. In fact, they weren’t in the room, near as Brad could tell.
“Nick with that girl?”
“I think so. He was wasted, dude.”
“Yeah, I know.” He told his friend he needed to shower, so Zane showed him where everything was and lay down next to Jennifer again, pulling her into an embrace. Brad was glad he’d learned from shows that he always needed an extra change of clothes, so he’d brought one for last night and one for today. He didn’t want Val thinking he was a grungy rock star who didn’t give a shit about hygiene. He planned on finally making that move…and he wanted nothing stopping him. Nothing.
* * *
He walked back to Val’s room a while later, feeling more confident. He was clean and felt a lot better than he had earlier. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about holding her all night long.
When Val answered the door, she looked surprised to see him. He was glad she didn’t look upset. She invited him in and he told her about the state of his Fully Automatic bandmates who were in bad shape overall. He told her they would stay there a while longer, and she invited him to hang out with her.
That was when it was time to make his move. He let the confident feeling surge through his veins, and he stepped closer to her, close enough to touch her. “That’s not the main reason why I came back here, though.” He waited a few seconds to let his words register with her and then he said, “We have a little unfinished business.”
She seemed so innocent in that moment. “We do?”
Yes, innocent maybe, but not unwilling. He leaned over and took her face in his hands, lifting her lips to his. He kissed her, as gently as he could allow himself to, but, goddamn, it was difficult. He’d been imagining this moment for months now, and he wanted her badly. Way too badly. Fuck. He should have jerked off in the shower, because controlling himself was going to be harder than usual. Would losing his load have helped? He didn’t know, but he had to stop thinking about that right now.
It was hard, though, because she tasted so sweet, and her response was just as he’d imagined. She parted her lips and took him in. Yeah, she was willing and eager, and all that did was fuel his fire. She was feeling it too, that weird attraction between them igniting into something bigger than he’d expected, something he knew he’d be lucky to control. Still…he kept his breathing (and his cock) under control for the meantime and ended the kiss. Oh, fuck. And she placed her hands on his pecs as though to steady herself. It took her a few seconds to open her eyes, as though she’d been transported. When he had her full attention, he said, “Unfinished, right?”
She gave him a tiny smile, sweet and naïve, and seemed to give the tiniest of nods. Well, she wasn’t pushing him away. In fact, she seemed breathless and expectant. He wasn’t going to disappoint her, so he kissed her again, and he would have sworn it was magic. Okay, so he never would have said something like that to one of his friends. Ethan would have called him a pussy if he’d even known Brad had been thinking something like that. But it was, though—it was more than just a kiss. It felt like they deepened their connection in that moment, like he could see inside her soul and, yes, she was pure and light and everything he could ever want.
He knew her response was a sign to move forward, so he wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her close. Fuckin’ A. She smelled so goddamn good and felt so right up next to him. She moved her hands onto his neck and then slid them up into his hair, driving him insane. Jesus…he wanted to fuck her right there, but he knew a girl like Val would need finesse. And he wanted to give that to her. He wanted her to know she wasn’t just a cheap lay for him. Still, he wanted to move the proceedings forward, so he slid his hands down to her ass, using it as an excuse to press her harder into his body.
And her fingers in his hair. Shit. She was driving him fucking crazy.
Her breathing got deeper, so he knew he was on the right track. He couldn’t hold it back anymore and just let the blood flow straight to his cock…like he’d be able to stop it anyway. He moved his lips to her neck and not only did she let out a sigh, he could have sworn he heard a moan. Fuck, yeah. He didn’t know that a girl had ever done that before they’d actually engaged in the real deal. He moved a hand up underneath her shirt, feeling the bare skin above her jeans, and he heard her breathing quicken again.
It was then, though, that she took a hand out of his hair and placed it firmly on his chest. No. Fuck, no. If he was reading her right, she was putting on the brakes.
“Brad…please stop.”
He opened his eyes and looked in hers. “Stop?”
“Yeah.”
Why was she changing her mind? Was that really what she wanted? He had to try one more time. He kissed her again. Yeah, there were those sparks. Could she deny them? “Stop that?”
She blinked. “Yes.”
“You don’t seem so sure…” He pressed his forehead on hers and bore into her eyes with his. He wanted to understand. “What’s wrong?”
She moved both hands to his chest. She wasn’t pressing against him as if to push him away, but they seemed to ground her. “I…It’s not you, Brad. Oh, God, it’s not you. I swear. I want you bad.”
/>
That’s what he’d thought. “So why not? If you’re worried about birth control…” He wasn’t going to be irresponsible. She had to know that.
She hesitated. “No. I’m…um… I’m a…”
“Virgin?” He knew it even before she nodded her head. “Oh.” He nodded too as if to process the information. “Oh. Yeah. Uh…your first time should be…special, right? At least, for girls. I didn’t give much of a shit.” He didn’t know how to do that for her, not right now, anyway. He was nearly out of his mind with desire, and she was pulling the plug. He needed a bathtub of ice water to jump in. She giggled and, in spite of his feelings of desperation, he found it endearing. But then it dawned on him. Fuck. He had to know. As much as it was gonna hurt, he needed to know. Her eyes all but said it, but he needed to confirm it. “That’s not it, though. It’s Ethan, isn’t it? You still care about him.” She didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. It was written all over her face. And thank the fucking saints, because he felt his hard on wilt. He sighed. “And…I already told you, as you’ll recall, nothing between you and me as long as he’s in the picture.” He let go of Valerie and walked across the room. He sucked in another deep breath and then turned to look at her. He wasn’t sure where to go from here, but as long as she was pining for Ethan, he wasn’t going to press his luck. No fucking way. He wasn’t going to be rebound guy. That said, he cared about Valerie and didn’t want her to feel bad, especially after being honest with him. Next best thing. “So…how about we go grab a bite to eat? I’m starving.”
“Uh, I…”
“On me.”
She blinked and then nodded. “Okay.” Any other girl, he would have been pissed, but that look on her face. He knew he was gonna have a hell of a time getting over her. A hell of a time.
Chapter Fifteen
IT SEEMED LIKE no matter how small the town, there was always a McDonald’s. Well, it was a college town, so it didn’t surprise him. That was good. McDonald’s was cheap, and he could get a lot of food for a little. He wasn’t hurting for money, but he was tight with it. He was saving it up for all things band and music related, and food wasn’t one of those things, so he was tight. Still, he wasn’t going to let Val know that. As they approached the register, he told her to get whatever she wanted.
He was going to have to sublimate his sexual urges with food, so he ordered a shitload. Then, when Val ordered, she got a sandwich, hash browns, and coffee. “That’s it?”
She grinned. “Well, I’m not a growing boy like you are.”
He smiled back and handed the cashier a twenty. “You’re gonna waste away to nothing.”
She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.”
In just a few minutes, they took their tray of food and stopped to grab napkins before sitting down. Brad stirred cream in his coffee and Val asked, “So…what do you do besides play in your band? Where do you work?”
“I work for one of those places that changes oil. Pretty much sucks. Course, anything that doesn’t have anything to do with music sucks, as far as I’m concerned.” He took a bite of his sandwich. He decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell her. “But I’m saving up so I can actually make something of my life.”
“What are your plans?”
“I’m pretty sure you have the idea. I don’t have any crazy notions, like we have to move to New York or L.A. or Seattle, but we need to amass a fan base. Nothing happens nowadays without fans, and we won’t get fans by sitting around on our asses. That’s part of why I booked that show here—the sooner Ethan and Zane realize college isn’t their future, the sooner we can get on with our lives. They need to feel the need in their blood.”
She seemed a little dismayed. He couldn’t figure out why, but he took another bite of his sandwich. He’d let her explain herself…or not. “So what are you thinking?”
“I dunno. Colorado Springs, Denver, some of the big college towns. But that would involve moving to one of those places. I’m thinking Denver. It’s huge. I bet we could have shows booked all the time.” He took another bite, and they got quiet for a little bit. Val was dunking her hash brown patty in ketchup, but she wasn’t talking. He wondered what she might be thinking. And he suspected he might have an inkling. Still, he wasn’t going to push her into talking if she wasn’t ready. He took a sip of orange juice and then said, “So, that’s what I’m saving up for. I’m sure my mom will be thrilled for me to move out.”
“You think so?”
“Actually, no. I’m her youngest kid and she’s divorced, so she really doesn’t want me to leave. But I’ve been trying to prepare her for it.” She sipped her coffee. She was holding something close. He wanted to know what it was. “So what about you, Val? What big plans do you have for the future?”
She took a deep breath and tried to smile. I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.”
He laughed. “Okay…I’ll ask you what my douchebag counselor asked me my junior year in high school.” He closed his eyes and conjured that old fart earning a paycheck for being fucking lame and tried to do his best imitation. The guy had a raspy, folksy, high-pitched voice and a wrinkly face. He’d worn glasses that always slipped to the bottom of his nose, and when he talked, it looked like he’d just taken a big whiff of shit. So Brad tried channeling the man’s aura when he spoke. “What are your interests, Mr. Payne? What do you find yourself doing when you lose track of time?”
Val laughed. At least his humor wasn’t wasted on her. “Those seem to be reasonable questions.”
“Yeah, they were, even though he was reading them off a card while looking out the window watching the cheerleaders practice on the front lawn. And when I told him my answer, he told me to be realistic.”
“You seem to be talented with your impersonations too.”
“Yeah, but seriously…what interests you, Val? There’s gotta be something, right?”
She seemed to give it some thought. He knew what he wanted to tell her, but he would rather she say it. So he sat in silence, sipping at his coffee again, waiting for her to talk. “Well, isn’t that why I’m taking all these classes, these varied classes, to help me figure out what I like?”
“Maybe…so have you found something?”
“That’s the problem. Everything seems fun…for a while.”
Come on, Val. Say it. “You like writing?”
“I guess.”
“Because that shit you wrote for us was phenomenal.”
“I thought you were just saying that.”
He smiled. “Because I was drunk? I’ll let you in on a little secret. I’m brutally honest when I’m drunk. Scary honest.” He didn’t know that that was completely true, but he had thought her lyrics were brilliant. His shit was kindergarten words strung together compared to the talent in her pinky finger. She was thinking about it. Good. He wanted her to come to it on her own. She took another sip of her coffee, and that’s when he realized she wasn’t going to say a word. He was going to have to suggest it to her. He knew he was on the right track, because Ethan had said it one time, that Val had told him she’d dreamed being a lead vocalist. “You ever think about being in a band?”
And there…that was when he saw her eyes light up. They were filled with doubt too, but he could see the spark. Yeah. He knew where she lived. But then she shrugged and tried to look neutral. “Nah.” She took another drink of her coffee.
She was lying to herself. She was going to be the good girl and go to college, just like her parents, friends, and teachers thought she should, and she was going to ignore the siren call, the cry from her soul, telling her what she really wanted to do. He’d felt it too. He knew it and chose to follow it, and that’s why he’d seen it in her. And after what little he’d heard her sing, he knew she could be a great vocalist. Still…it would have to wait until she decided to embrace it. He’d planted the seed and now she’d have to water and nurture it. He just hoped he could be there to see it grow into fruition.
He’d make sure he was.
* * *
Ethan and Zane came home from school in May, and Brad had plenty to show off. He’d managed to not only book them a fuckload of shows, but he’d also purchased an old church van that would become their touring van. They’d have to continue renting a trailer, but they could take a smaller one and have plenty of room to spare. The van had needed a few repairs, and his friends at work were able to help him with them. He hadn’t had to spend a fortune on the van, and he knew the minor problems had been why.
He was relieved to hear that Ethan and Zane had the school experience out of their system. Zane said maybe someday he’d go back, but he wanted to give the band an honest try. Ethan? He’d only done it to say in his grandfather’s good graces. The old bastard was the only male figure in Ethan’s life who seemed to give a shit, and Ethan didn’t want to fuck that away. Too bad the guy didn’t live close enough to keep his friend on the straight and narrow.
Now that the band was on track and his friends home for good, Brad decided to not let Val slip through his fingers so easily. Sure, he was going to give her the time and space she needed, but she was going to have to tell him to back the fuck off if she didn’t want him to be part of her life. She was too special to him to just let go. He worried too that he would be “out of sight, out of mind,” and he didn’t want that to happen. He knew that Val and Ethan remained on the outs, even though she was still hung up on him, so there would be no connection there. He’d have to do that himself. So he sent her a text now and then to see how she was doing. She hardly ever got on Facebook or he would have connected that way, but she always responded to texts. He asked her to get on Facebook, though, so she could like the page he’d set up for Fully Automatic. He’d made it look as professional as possible, adding pictures and a couple of MP3s, and he made sure it looked good when he invited her. They only had about thirty-three likes at the time, because it seemed secondary to actually playing for live audiences. He had simply wanted to give audiences a place to look for more info after shows.
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