by Scott, Laura
“I’m sorry, Reese.” She longed to comfort him, to soothe his pain. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
He shrugged lightly. “Valerie knew the risks, and she loved to fly. I just wish I had been there, like I was supposed to be. But I had switched shifts with Greg.”
She winced, knowing that fact would have only added to Reese’s guilt. “It’s not your fault.”
“I should’ve been there.” His flat tone betrayed the depth of his grief.
Sam ached for him, for what he’d lost. For the physician’s wife and children. Thinking about Ivan’s wife and young daughter hit hard. She never should have doubted Reese’s expertise when it came to flying. She summoned a sad smile. “You’re here now. And it may be selfish of me, but I’m glad.” She placed a hesitant hand on his arm. “I’m very glad, Reese.”
“Samantha.” His voice turned husky when she slid her hand up and wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him toward her in a gesture meant to give comfort. He dipped his head to rest on her shoulder, his arms loose around her waist. “I’m glad, too,” he whispered against her collarbone.
Her heart soared, and she blinked away unexpected tears. She threaded her hands through his hair, enjoying the silky texture against her fingertips.
His grip tightened at her waist, and he turned his face into her neck. “You smell so good. Like Christmas every day.”
She smiled. As he pressed his lips against the side of her neck, she clutched at his shoulders.
He groaned low in his throat and lifted his head, taking several gulping breaths. “We need to stop. I’m not sure how much of this I can take.”
“But I like kissing you.” Sam boldly met his gaze.
His eyes widened in a way that would’ve been comical if she hadn’t wanted him so badly. “There’s no rush, Samantha. You aren’t ready for a relationship, remember?”
“And you were the one to point out how it was already too late,” she reminded him right back. Reaching up, she cupped his cheek in her hand. “I care about you, Reese.”
He kissed her again, clutching her close. After a long moment, he lifted his head. “Samantha, I want you to be sure,” he said finally, looking directly into her eyes. “Your career is important to you, and boards are only a few short months away. For now, I’m content to simply hold you. To be there for you. To comfort you.”
The blazing hunger in his gaze was a far cry from his chaste words, and Samantha was touched by his willingness to wait. Had she ever met a man who’d put her needs first? Medical school had been competitive, each student vying for the highest grades to ensure the best residency match. When she’d married Dennis, and he’d dropped out within the first two months, things had gone from competitive to controlling.
Yet here was Reese, tense with desire but willing to do whatever was better for her. Not controlling her, not trying to compete with her career, but supporting her decisions, whatever they may be.
“I’m sure about you, Reese. I’ve never felt this way before.”
Reese laughed and groaned at the same time. “That’s a crazy thing to say when we have a long shift ahead of us.”
Samantha’s smile held a hint of humor. “Tired of talking to me already?”
Reese brought his hands up to cup her face, deepening the kiss for a long moment until they both needed to breathe. “Never. You are so beautiful, Samantha.” He kissed her again, gently this time, as if she were the greatest treasure in the world.
Overcome with awe, she blinked away sudden tears. So this was how love was supposed to feel.
Kind, gentle, sweet, and caring.
DURING THE LONG hours of the night, Reese had checked the radar frequently, updating the paramedic base on the nasty turn of the weather. Now dawn was only a short hour away. During the night, Reese and Samantha had spent their hours together cuddling, kissing, and talking.
She’d opened up more about her disastrous marriage, and he’d told her about Valerie and how he’d always known his best friend was a daredevil pilot.
Reese had broken his rule by getting involved with Samantha. They’d only talked and kissed, but he’d never felt as close to another woman as he did with Samantha.
He glanced at where she was curled in a chair, asleep. “Samantha, you better get up.” He gently shook her shoulder. “I hear Ivan up and about in the lounge.”
“Okay.” She smiled at him, her beautiful smoky gray eyes heavy lidded with sleep. “I’m awake.”
Deciding it was best not to kiss her again, since Ivan could come in any moment, Reese walked over to check the weather monitor. The threat of fog had turned into a full-blown snowstorm within the past several hours. The howling wind and swirling snow had dropped visibility to mere inches. Needless to say, no one at Lifeline would be flying anywhere in the next few hours.
After updating the paramedic base and verifying that the Lifeline peds crew would leave the chopper at Children’s Memorial and catch a ride from a car service back to the base, Reese logged into his email. The first item to capture his attention was an alert from Pilots Inc., the voluntary organization of helicopter rescue pilots sharing medical air flight information across the country.
“Crash alert. Chicago’s Air Angels suffered a fatal helicopter crash at zero two hundred hours this morning. Fatalities included the entire crew; pilot, flight nurse, and flight physician. Our prayers go out to the crew’s family and friends.”
Stunned, Reese stared at the message. There were bound to be other factors surrounding the crash, but one thing was for sure. Chicago’s weather often mirrored theirs as both cities bordered Lake Michigan.
The Chicago Air Angel pilot had crashed flying in weather Reese had refused to fly in.
10
When Samantha came over, Reese quickly minimized his email, instinctively wanting to protect her from the horror of the crash. Yet, logically, he knew she was far better off knowing the true risk.
“You didn’t make any coffee?” Sam’s voice echoed with disappointment.
“Sorry. I don’t drink coffee.” Changing his mind about keeping the truth a secret, he double clicked on the email icon and brought the crash message back up on the screen. With a couple of keystrokes, he printed out the message. He heard water running as she prepared to brew a fresh pot of coffee. When she finished, he cleared his throat to get her attention. “I have some bad news.”
“Bad news?” Her tone was panicked, and she turned toward him so fast she lost her balance, leaning heavily against the counter. “Dennis?”
“No, sorry. Not that.” He could have kicked himself for not realizing that’s where her brain would go. Although, he wasn’t sure the crash news was any better. He handed her a copy of his email message. “Better sit down before reading this.”
“Oh, no.” She took a seat beside him. Her eyes raked over the message, then lifted to meet his. “Reese, this is awful. Chicago is only about ninety miles from here.”
“I know.” He dropped heavily into the seat beside the satellite monitor. “Too close to home.”
“This could have been us.” Agitated now, she jumped to her feet and began to pace the short length of the room. “I was insisting we fly to the crash scene last night. If we had gone, we could have died. Just like this.”
Reese couldn’t deny the grim truth. “There may be mitigating factors we are not aware of,” he pointed out. “The FAA will do a thorough investigation before making a final determination.”
“A final determination of what?” Ivan asked, scratching his chin as he entered the debriefing room. “Samantha, thanks for making coffee.”
“On the cause of the crash.” Reese knew Ivan had been flying long enough to understand the risks.
Ivan’s expression turned somber. “Who crashed?”
“Air Angel.” Reese handed him the message. “Last night at zero two hundred hours.”
“What were the flying conditions?” Ivan asked as his gaze flicked over the email.
�
�Patchy fog but a cold wind coming in from the north.” Reese filled him in on the events of last night, including the decision to keep one chopper at Children’s Memorial rather than risk a return flight. “You were sleeping so soundly we didn’t wake you.”
“Thanks.” His white teeth flashed in a grin. “My wife will appreciate your thoughtfulness. I can help with Bethany today, rather than trying to sleep in snatches.”
Reese nodded, not about to mention how he and Samantha had spent the night cuddling and chatting, benefiting from Ivan’s exhaustion.
“Is Jared in yet?” Reese asked.
Ivan shook his head. “I think he’s going to be a little late today. Shelly has her first doctor’s appointment this morning.” When Reese’s eyes widened in alarm, the paramedic hastened to reassure him. “Haven’t you heard? She’s pregnant.”
His expression cleared. “No, I hadn’t heard. I’m happy for them, though.”
“The baby pool will be up soon.” Ivan helped himself to coffee.
“Shelly, the peds flight nurse?” Samantha halted her pacing to turn and look at them. “I knew she married Jared a few months ago and that they both still fly. Now she’s pregnant?” She looked alarmed at the thought.
Clearly, the news of the fatal crash was still too fresh and painful. “Knowing Jared, he won’t allow Shelly to keep flying once she’s further along.” Reese did his best to console her.
“Yeah, but you’re assuming Shelly will listen.” Ivan pointed out dryly.
Since Reese already knew how stubborn flight nurse Shelly O’Connor could be, he held his tongue. “Samantha, try to relax. Lifeline has an excellent thirty-five-year crash-free history. Safety is our prime concern.”
“I know.” She tried to smile but failed miserably. “At least, I do now. I’m glad you insisted on remaining grounded last night.”
Reese rubbed his hands over his face and wished he’d acquired a taste for coffee. He could use the kick of caffeine to help dissolve the fog in his brain. The decision he’d made had been gut instinct more than anything. He could have just as easily agreed to fly. He’d been honest with Samantha last night; the weather could always change without warning. The day they’d tried to fly to Two Rivers, only to head back because of the weather, was proof of how even the best pilot could find himself facing poor flying conditions.
The truth was difficult to deny. Anyone could crash. Reese knew he could lose Samantha, the same way he’d lost Valerie.
LONG AFTER IVAN had gone home, Reese buried his head in paperwork he’d neglected while waiting for Jared. He had a plan that he needed Jared’s approval to implement.
Samantha had given him a strange look when he’d told her he needed to work late today. He knew he was treating her badly, especially after the closeness they’d shared during the night, but the news of the crash had shaken him more than he’d wanted to admit. Putting some distance between him and Samantha seemed prudent.
He heard voices in the hallway outside the debriefing room and wondered if Jared had finally arrived. Piling the reports in a neat stack, he grabbed his proposal and pushed away from the desk.
The voices came from Jared’s office. He paused outside the partially open door, trying to figure out who was in there. In a heartbeat, he recognized Samantha’s lyrical voice.
“What’s your plan?” Jared asked.
“My only plan for the moment is to ace my boards,” Reese heard Samantha respond. “But after that I’m thinking of moving to the West Coast, to the San Diego area. My parents still live there, even though my siblings are scattered across the country.”
Reese felt a sharp pain in his chest as if he’d been punched. Samantha planned to move after graduation? Funny, she hadn’t mentioned that to him.
“Let me know what you decide. I’d be happy to write you a glowing letter of recommendation,” Jared was saying. “In the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on whatever information Rafter comes up with.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
Reese steadied himself on the doorframe, Samantha’s words beating against his temple. When he sensed their conversation was over, he pulled himself together, rapped his knuckles against the frame, and poked his head to the doorway. “Jared? Do you have a minute?”
“Sure.” Jared and Samantha stood up. “Talk to you later, Samantha.”
She nodded and smiled at Reese, an unspoken question in her gaze. She was wondering what he was doing there while he was trying to figure out why she hadn’t told him about her plans to move after graduation. “See you later, Reese.”
She said it as a question, and he knew she was wondering if she’d see him sooner rather than later. Considering how he’d badgered her to share meals with him, he understood. Yet Reese couldn’t bring himself to answer. He also didn’t stop her from leaving, as much as he wanted to. Even though her future plans had shaken him, he knew Markowitz was still out there. He trusted Brandon Rafter, but the need to follow Samantha home was strong.
He forced himself to let her go.
“What’s on your mind, Reese?” Jared settled in behind his desk.
“A team approach to flying.” He handed Jared his quickly written proposal before sitting across from him. “Did you hear about the Air Angel crash last night?”
Jared frowned. “No.”
Reese quickly filled him in. “I’m a cautious pilot by nature, but not every pilot sees weather conditions exactly the same way. With each takeoff, safety measures will only go so far. You know as well as I do there are many factors outside our control.”
“I’m with you so far,” Jared agreed.
“I’m proposing that each team member has the right to decide if they feel comfortable flying in dicey weather conditions. If even one person has reservations, the flight is called off. The captain doesn’t have veto rights, insisting it’s safe to fly.”
“Interesting proposal,” Jared murmured, skimming the information Reese had handed him. “Have any other air transport companies initiated a similar policy?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” Reese couldn’t lie. “In fact, companies that are in it for profit will push the limit on flying conditions. Air Angel just happens to be a commercial company.”
Jared thoughtfully nodded. “We are fortunate to be subsidized by the area hospitals and the state, allowing us to retain our nonprofit status.” He tapped the proposal. “I like this, Reese. I say we implement your plan immediately. We’ll track the flight refusals and see how it goes.”
Relief loosened the tight bands around his chest. “Thanks, Jared. I appreciate your support.”
“I have as much invested in this program as you do,” Jared pointed out. His gaze dropped to the proposal. “In some ways, more.”
It didn’t take a genius to figure out Jared was thinking about his wife and unborn child. “I know.” He cleared his throat. “I take it there’s no news from Rafter yet?”
Jared shook his head. “Not yet. He’s dug into Markowitz’s background, though, and has staked out his condo. I’m sure we’ll hear something soon. At least, when he makes a move toward Samantha, we’ll know.”
A fresh wave of guilt flooded Reese. He should have followed her home. “Keep me posted, too.”
If Jared thought his request was strange, he didn’t let on. “I will. Get some sleep.”
Reese drove home, knowing sleep would be a long time coming. He actually pulled into the parking space next to Samantha’s before realizing what he’d done. With a mental head-slap, he threw his truck in reverse and headed to the next building over.
Inside, he couldn’t dredge up his usually insatiable appetite. His team approach to flying might have saved Valerie, but not if she’d been willing to go. Oddly enough, the memory of Valerie didn’t hurt the way it used to. Samantha’s plan for her future came floating back to him. He should have followed his instincts and stayed far away from her. The time they would have together could be measured in days, maybe months, before she’d leave.
Pain thickened his throat as realization dawned. Losing Samantha would be far worse than when he’d lost Valerie. Because Valerie hadn’t had a choice. He’d always known she’d loved him.
He didn’t have Samantha’s love. He knew she cared for him, but that didn’t change the fact that she planned to walk away.
Leaving him, behind.
SAMANTHA SHOULD HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTED, but she couldn’t sleep. Not that sleeping in the bright light of day had ever been easy. She’d struggled when other residents she knew could drop off no matter what time of day it was.
The problem right now was Reese. The night in the debriefing room where they talked for hours had been wonderful. Better than wonderful. But in the morning, his whole attitude had changed.
She couldn’t really blame him. News of the Air Angel crash was enough to ruin anyone’s mood. But she couldn’t help but wonder about the woman Reese had loved. The woman he’d asked to marry him. To be jealous of a dead woman was utterly foolish, but her heart twisted painfully anyway.
Had he felt guilty for kissing her? Looking back, she didn’t think so. Reese’s demeanor hadn’t changed until this morning, when he’d read of the news of the crash. Obviously, he was still torn up inside over losing his fiancée. What had she been like, this woman who still had a hold on Reese’s heart? She tossed her arm over her eyes, trying to block out the endless questions along with the light. What did it matter what the woman had been like? Reese wasn’t in Colorado anymore. He was here at Lifeline.
But he had left his heart behind with a woman who had died in the mountains.
How ironic that the first man she’d grown to love and trust in the years since she’d mistaken Dennis’s companionship for love wasn’t in a position to return those feelings in kind.
A THUNK outside her bedroom window woke her out of a sound sleep. Groggily, she blinked, trying to read the luminous numbers on her clock. Six in the evening. She’d only managed to sleep for a few hours.