by Lisa Daniels
“I’m sorry about this, but you look familiar. Have we talked before? If so, I do apologize. Just feeling a little scrambled after spending too much time inside.”
The man looked up at her with a weary smile and shrugged. It was no kind of response to her question, but then Serenity found that she didn’t really need an answer. It was nice just to have someone who looked to be about her age to talk to. Most everyone she had met was either married or a child. The university students were probably all too busy moving back into their places to be out much; still, it made things a little less comfortable since there wasn’t much for her to talk about with the people she encountered. Feeling slightly guilty for her initially cold response, Serenity decided to be at least as sociable with the man as she had been with other strangers.
She put her arms on the rail and looked at what he was watching. Having passed by the area numerous times, she had never managed to stop and look at the viewpoint. It was breathtaking, even though they were not very high up.
“It’s stunning,” she muttered. “You are lucky to have grown up seeing this. Had I grown up out here… I bet I would have gone into a different field than tech. It’s just… indescribable.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. She wanted to say more, but the colors in the sky were phenomenal and she didn’t have anything to say as the sun touched the horizon.
They stood in silence for a while, each engulfed in their own thoughts. Finally, Serenity spoke, “So you really missed this. I thought California was supposed to have a lot of fantastic sights, too.”
“There is plenty to see; the Red Woods are particularly fascinating, but nothing quite beats the sights up here. Then again, I’m partial.”
“Well, I can certainly see why. It’s better than what I saw most of the way up and down the east coast. Granted, I did like some of the viewpoints from Maine where you could see out over the Atlantic. Still never saw a sunset that could compare with here.”
Her words were met with silence. Serenity looked out over the view and let her mind wander.
“I don’t really care for the east coast.” The words shook her out of her reverie, and she turned to look at the man. His eyes were still taking in the beauty below them.
“Have you been up and down the entire thing? If you like cities, New York is great.”
“I have no interest in cities. L.A. and San Francisco were bad enough. Having to go into Seattle is quite enough for me, and that’s something I keep to a minimum now.”
“You want to talk about stereotypical.” Serenity had a slight smile on her face as she said it.
He turned his face so that he could look at her out of the corner of his eyes. “It’s disappointing, but kind of figured that’s what you were thinking.”
“Your words.”
“No, you were the one to bring up stereotyping.”
“You were the first to do it.”
He stood up and looked down at her. In her mind, Serenity was realizing just how tall he had to be to be able to look down on her. At five foot eight, she wasn’t short. That meant he must be well over six feet tall.
The smile was gone from his face. “I didn’t come up here to argue or debate. It will be dark here soon, so I recommend you head back. The trail gets tricky just around the bend up there. Have a pleasant evening.” Without another word, he walked away.
Serenity frowned as she watched his figure disappear into the woods. A part of her mind was aware that he was heading toward a part that was just more woods. Given the time, it was surprising. The sun would set soon, and that meant that the light would be gone. It was a bad idea to be in the woods too late because the wildlife here was quite wild.
“Wait, where are you going?” The man stopped and turned toward her. The fading light cast some interesting colors on his features as he gave her a blank expression. “That’s just more woods. Don’t tell me you are a mountain man.”
The man blinked a couple of times and frowned. He gave out a heavy sigh and turned to walk away.
Serenity began to follow him. “Don’t get me wrong, I can see why someone would want to live remotely, but–”
“Why are you following me?” The man turned and looked at her as he folded his arms across his chest.
“I–I’m not following you.”
“I am quite certain you do not live this way. If nothing else, you have basically just said so yourself.”
“I didn’t–look, I’m sorry if I came across as a bit standoffish. Years of… I am sorry.”
He titled his head to the side. “You don’t need to be sorry, just be more honest. Years of hiding who you are is unhealthy.”
“I’m Serenity.” She held out her hand.
The man looked down at her hand for a second before reaching out to shake it. “It’s nice to meet you, Serenity. Good luck with everything.”
“Um,” she wasn’t quite sure what to say as he flashed a quick smile and turned to leave.
Dumfounded that he showed no interest in talking to her after getting her attention, Serenity stood in silence watching his figure disappear into the woods. There were several things about the interaction that really bothered her, but she wasn’t quite sure what. Usually she would have been happy for such a brief exchange where the guy didn’t try to ask her out. This time, though, she felt almost slighted. For all of the friendliness, the people out here really don’t do close relationships, do they? It’s all surface level. The idea was a bit chilling because Serenity had figured she would make friends quickly once she was interested in doing so. Now, she was beginning to realize that things may not always be on her terms.
Shaking her head, Serenity tried to get some focus. What did she care if a guy wasn’t interested in her? He wasn’t the first, and she doubted he would be the last. If he wants to stop strangers so that he can give them the cold shoulder, that wasn’t any of her business. Her mind tried to figure out exactly what was bothering her as she walked back home. On the way, she encountered several people that she had talked to over the course of a month and a half. It was only after the encounter with the man that she realized that the conversations were never very deep.
Several hours later Serenity was getting ready for bed, thinking about how she needed someone to talk to. She had tried to talk with a couple of her friends back east, but they were too busy. If she wanted someone to talk to, it appeared she was going to have to put some effort into it.
Why did she have to be thinking about this right before classes started? Serenity rolled over on her bed, pulling the blanket up to her face. A different type of frustration was keeping her awake when she really did not have time for it. She needed to be focusing on going back to class and getting her mind on what mattered – not worry about some random guy’s opinion of her. No, it’s not just the way he treated you. It’s the way everyone around here acts. It’s a bizarre kind of friendly. I probably should have tried to persuade a couple of people to move out here, too. Eva would have been able to charm him into – no, stop that. Serenity rolled over again and let out a frustrated sigh. The day had not gone at all well, and now she found it nearly impossible to sleep. If only she had set a timer going and walked earlier, none of this would have happened and she would have been able to mentally prepare.
Oh, just go to sleep. You’ve got a lot tomorrow and that encounter was nothing special. You’ll probably never see him again anyway. The thoughts did little to settle her mind as she tried to go to sleep. Her dreams that night did little to help her as they were full of strange men menacing her with guns while the guy she had met stood off to the side telling her how she should act in that kind of situation. When she woke the next morning, she wished that she had one more day before school started because she did not feel well rested at all.
Chapter 2
A Rocky Start
Serenity made it to her first class on time, but found it difficult to focus on what the professor was saying. It didn’t help that she knew that everything would be on
his website, including the notes. It was also unfortunate that the class was one of the few generic ones she would have to take to get her degree – the subject did not interest her and wouldn’t do much to further the things that did interest her. No matter how she tried, Serenity simply could not get her mind to focus on anything that was being said. Fortunately, the class was shorter than the allotted time as there wasn’t much to go over on the first day. Going forward, much of the work would be done outside of class. Picking up her stuff, Serenity headed out to take a quick stroll around the campus. She was feeling incredibly tired, something a nice, quick-paced walk might be able to cure.
I’m too tired for this, her thoughts were fuzzy as she tried to focus on enjoying the scenery. It wasn’t normal for her to be this unfocused, and it unnerved her. She had her entire day literally mapped out on her phone, so Serenity did not have to worry about getting lost, regardless of how tired she was. Dimly aware that she was missing a good bit of interesting things in her current mindset, Serenity decided to head home after her second class to take a nap, especially given that she was finally tired enough to sleep. Now it was just a matter of making it through a class so that she could sleep. It was a shame because she had planned to spend time looking around the campus. As much as she had enjoyed spending time alone, yesterday proved that Serenity was feeling a little too lonely. Instead of being able to do something about it, though, she was going to have to get some sleep. It added just another layer of frustration to her dour mood.
She may not have been a social butterfly, but she had always had friends who would come around periodically or drag her out to do stuff on the weekends. It had never occurred to her that it had helped her to focus better when she got time alone, something that was becoming increasingly more obvious. Apart from the regular chats with strangers, Serenity had not really spent much time talking with anyone since the move. After over a month of casual conversations with random people, she wanted to spend time hanging out with people without having to go to the other side of the country. In her current state of mind, there wasn’t much chance of that happening, though.
Still plenty of time for that. It’s not like I have to find friends today. Most people are going to be focused on classes and stuff this week anyway, so getting a late start isn’t so bad. It was one of the few thoughts that went through her head as she entered the building for her next class. At least she was more excited about this class. Even if she wasn’t in the right mental state, this class (and more specifically, this professor) were the entire reason that she had chosen this school over so many others. Regardless of her current sleep deprivation, there was no doubt that she would get something out of the class.
Unlike her first class, this one went nearly 15 minutes past the scheduled end time. It had been as fascinating as Serenity could have hoped, but now she felt utterly exhausted. Instead of going over the coursework, they dove right into their actual work, so that most of the class was spent being productive. Even as tired as she was, Serenity was the first one to finish the exercise. Once she submitted it, she began to work on the app for her friend so that the other students would not realize that she was finished. The last thing she wanted was for the rest of the class to start feeling resentful towards her. Over the next 15 minutes, other students finished. The second one to finish began stretching, making sure everyone realized he was done, and Serenity couldn’t help but roll her eyes. The smug look on the guy’s face was annoying, but Serenity felt good to see that the few other students in the class didn’t seem to take it as a challenge. Focusing on their own stuff, they barely acknowledged that he was done.
Less than 5 minutes after the grad student finished, the professor was over at his desk pointing out problems with his work. The guy was frowning and trying to argue, but the professor calmly swatted down the defensive responses to criticism. When the guy didn’t seem to want to listen, the professor patted him on the shoulder and gave him a smile with a quip about the guy being perfect for Silicon Valley. The guy started beaming, obviously misunderstanding the backhanded compliment. The professor’s eyes met Serenity’s, and she gave him a smile. He winked and went back to his desk to wait for the other students. A few minutes later, she received a message about her work with a few recommendations for quicker ways to get the same results. The message ended with “If this had been a graded assignment, this would have been a B+.”
After the rest of the students finished, the professor began speaking at the front again. Serenity closed her app and tried to focus as he reviewed the initial assessments. The potential grades ranged from D to C+. Serenity wondered if maybe he had mistyped his message, and she felt disappointed in herself. Even if she was tired, the assignment had been very easy. Getting a B+ was terrible, a C+ was unthinkable. The other students were furiously taking notes up until another professor entered the room.
“Ah, Professor Cedrus, time’s up. I will need a bit of time to prepare.”
Professor Cedrus looked up at the clock. “Apologies. Lost track of time.”
The other professor smiled, obviously not terribly bothered by the professor going over a bit. “It’s perfectly fine. First day and all. I doubt that most of the students will be on time, so don’t rush. We can get started a little late.”
Professor Cedrus shook his head, “I wouldn’t dream of making you start late. We will be out of here momentarily.” As if on cue, the sound of students putting their stuff away brought Serenity out of her thoughts. Looking around, she realized that she would need to pack up, too.
As soon as the door closed, the professor addressed his small class. “Thanks everyone for such a productive day. I would like for you to build on your work today, but you need to repurpose the app to something that you think would be beneficial to the average teenager.” He smiled at the murmurs that rose. “Yes, it could be connecting it to social media, sending notifications, whatever you think would be popular with the next generation.” A few students started to talk, and Serenity was reminded of just what had been bothering her before she got to class.
As soon as the professor finished dismissing them, Serenity let out a loud sigh, which was audible over the sound of the few other students packing up their stuff and chatting.
“It’s only the first day of the new school year. It’s a bit early for anyone to sound that despondent.” The professor was looking at her, and she was suddenly very self-conscious.
Serenity gave him a faint smile. “It’s not school. Just didn’t get much sleep.” She began packing up her computer.
“Sounded like more than that.”
With a shrug, she picked up her bag. “Yeah, probably, but it’s alright.”
“Still adjusting after the move?” The professor began packing up his own stuff. A student stopped to talk to the professor, and Serenity thought that she had gotten out of the need to respond about her problems. She finished putting her stuff away and was preparing to stand up when the professor’s voice caught her attention.
“So, having trouble settling in?”
Serenity looked over at him. They had talked a good bit when she had been considering making the change, s0 his curiosity was not completely unfounded. In fact, he was a good part of the reason why she had chosen to go somewhere so remote. He had been a major player in the industry for a while, but had decided to move back to Deep River a couple of years ago when the university had offered him a position. She had heard a lot about him because he was a big name in the field, but she had never really paid much attention to anything about his personal life. Mostly she knew that he had been on the forefront of the app industry for nearly a decade and that he lived on the west coast somewhere. When they had talked, he had been surprisingly forthcoming with information, even giving her some tips on how to improve on projects after the teachers had returned them to her. Usually people told her that her work was outstanding – she was not accustomed to being told how to make her apps better.
“Um, just the usual, I gue
ss.”
He smiled at her, and despite being tired, Serenity couldn’t help but smile back at him. For someone so experienced and knowledgeable, Professor Cedrus was a lot younger than she had imagined. Perhaps if she had known just how young he was, she would have been less focused on talking about projects. Looking at him, the professor looked like he couldn’t be older than his late twenties. At 22, Serenity knew that the age difference couldn’t be that much, and it would have been nice to have a friend already. For all of his concern and attention, she got the same vibe from him as she got from the other people she encountered. If they had talked about other stuff before she moved out there, maybe she would already have a small group of friends roughly her age.
He was looking at her expectantly, and Serenity realized that he had asked her something. She tried to smile, “Sorry, could you please repeat that?”
Professor Cedrus frowned a little. “Are you feeling alright?” The look of concern was obvious on his face, but she was accustomed to that by now. Instead of feeling flattered that he cared, Serenity began to notice details about his appearance. His sandy blond hair was cut relatively short and was very neat. He looked to be roughly as tall as she was and in good shape without being big. As soon as she started really looking at him through her exhausted mind, Serenity realized that her professor was quite attractive.
Probably for the best that we didn’t get friendly then. That’s a distraction I don’t need right now.
He was again looking at her, and she realized that she had missed what he said.
“I’m really sorry, I think I need to get home and get some sleep.”
“Be careful.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door.
“Oh, I do have a question, Professor.” He stopped and looked at her as she pulled her book bag over her left shoulder and settled it on her back. “You said that the highest grade was a B-. Was that mine?”
He gave her a look and his mouth twitched. Looking to make sure that no one else was around, Professor Cedrus turned to look at her. “No, that was someone else. I figured saying that someone had B+ work on the first day of class would create the kind of atmosphere that you hated at MIT.”