by Lisa Daniels
“Oh, well, that’s very straightforward.”
“You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”
“How old are you?”
“20.”
“I’m 24,” he smiled at her, and Cora couldn’t help but smile back. He was prying, and usually it would have bothered her, but unlike other people, the way he was doing it was far less invasive. Emery wasn’t telling her that it would be alright or trying to force her to feel better. They were just talking. Whether or not she realized it, she was starting to drop her guard.
“How long did it take before you realized what you wanted to do?”
“Oh, that’s easy, I still don’t know.”
“What?” She looked over at Emery again with the same expression of disbelief. “You are working on a PhD. Who does that without a plan?”
“Apparently I do that without a plan. I don’t have to have a job or anything, so I may just be a perpetual student.”
“If you really like English you could be a teacher.”
“Oh, God, not a chance. Could you imagine teaching kids all day? No, thank you.” He looked over at her. “Well, maybe if I wanted to travel to other countries, but I’m not really interested in that right now, so, not going to happen.”
“What about being a writer? I mean, it must have crossed your mind. You could write a script for Ryland. Or since you like science to some extent, you could do tech writing or something.”
“Uh, you know, that really isn’t a bad idea. Hmmm.” Emery stopped working his way up to think about what Cora had said.
“We’re almost to the next ledge. Should probably plan to rest there for a bit.”
“Are your arms getting tired?”
“Not really, but the last stretch is tough. Besides, we can walk for a while before doing the last climb. I always thought of that as taking a break since your arms get to rest.”
“Sounds good to me.”
“Actually,” Cora pointed a little ways down, “there’s a path that I’ve never gone down. Jason has always declined to check it out because he moves a lot slower than me. If you are game, we could take the path and see where it leads.”
“I’m game, but aren’t you concerned that we won’t have time to reach the top?”
“We’ve been abandoned, so whatever we do is more than what those jokers end up doing.”
Emery laughed, “You have a point. I would like to see the top sometime, but if we don’t make it today, we can always come back and check it out.”
Cora smiled over at him, “Yeah, that would be fun.”
They chatted about several other topics while working their way to the ledge. Emery reached it first and helped Cora up. As she dusted herself off, he looked around. “So, which way?”
“To your left. I have never been very far, so if you want to go first, I’m fine with that.”
“Sure. I don’t mind.”
Cora watched him as he began to slowly work his way to the path. There were some trees and fallen boulders not too far from where they were, but the path was large enough that they should be able to make it without too much trouble. A sudden wind took her by surprise, and Cora let out a gasp and pressed her back against the rock behind her.
“You okay?” Emery looked back at her.
“Fine. Just wasn’t expecting the wind.”
“Here.” He took her hand and put it on his bicep. “Hold on to me. You are so small, I worry that you could get blown over the side.”
Cora guffawed at his explanation. “I’m not that small.”
He smiled back at her, “It makes me feel better to know that if there is another breeze you won’t get blown off the cliff.” She gave him a look. “Hey, I don’t want to face those three guys if something were to happen to you, so please just humor me.”
Cora laughed and looked down at the place where the three had disappeared. “It’s not like they would notice.”
“I know you know that is a lie. They would kill me, and would probably beat the shit out of each other determining who would get the final blow to finish me off.”
“You are exaggerating.” Cora rolled her eyes.
Emery looked over at her, his expression one of calculation. “Either you are blind or you just want to hear someone say nice things about you.”
Cora pulled her hand away from him, her defenses going back up. He grabbed her hand, and before she could say anything, he said, “Blind. Good lord, you really are a lot like him. I know that you feel that they deserted you, but all three of them care about you a lot.”
“How would you know that?” Cora frowned at him.
“Well, one of them is your brother, and it is blatantly obvious that he is ridiculously concerned about you, and not for the reasons that the other two are concerned about you. I can hazard a guess about that since I know that he is only here because of Silas.”
“Exactly. He only came because of Silas. Jason isn’t here because I asked him to come. He never comes when I ask him to visit. Not anymore.”
Emery scratched his head. “Jason is here because they are so worried about you. Do you know how I know that?” Cora just looked at him. “Because they were both worried about you the entire time the family was together. It was all we could do to keep Silas from coming back here. It was only toward the end when he was finally allowed to call your brother to come up. Just the one phone call and your brother promised to visit as soon as possible.”
“They shouldn’t have been so worried,” Cora muttered.
Emery looked at her and sighed, “Well, whether or not they should have been, they were.”
“Then why did they go running off?”
“Ryland has an obligation right now. And after his last solo excursion, he isn’t supposed to go alone. Which is why Silas went with him.”
“How are gunshots their problem?”
“It isn’t hunting season. And no one is allowed to hunt here at any time of the year anyway.”
“Yeah, but they aren’t police or anything. Poachers aren’t their problem or responsibility.”
“Wrong, but I can’t get into it. Honestly, it should have been me going with Ryland instead of Silas.”
“Hey, no one is stopping you from going if that is really what you want to do.” Cora had tried to play things off as fine earlier, but she didn’t try to pretend it was now.
“Wrong again. You are stopping me.” Emery was watching her with a look of interest. “It is obvious that you are avoiding talking to them, so I figured that it would make more sense to stay with you than to go with Ryland.” Cora frowned at him. “Given your relationship with Silas, I seriously doubt being around you right now is going to be good for him. People always take him for granted, and I think that you are the worst example of that.”
“Hey!” Cora felt very hurt by this assessment of her personality. “I don’t take people for granted. And I certainly don’t take Silas for granted. I love him as much as I love Jason. Whatever you are doing, stop it.” They were on the path where there was more space to move, so she pulled away from him.
“Really? You don't take Silas for granted? You don’t take your brother for granted?” Emery gave her a partial smile, a knowing smile that seemed to mock her. “You are upset with Jason for only coming up here because Silas begged him. You think that your brother should come when you ask him to come. But how many times have you asked him since he moved out? Once? Twice? Did you ever bother to find out what was going on with him when you asked? Or do you expect him to drop everything and come when you call him? You are upset with Silas because he is trying to make you feel better by forcing you to face something. Something that is clearly eating you up, but you refuse to talk to someone who desperately wants to help. Nor are they the only ones you are hurting. It is rare that I have ever seen Ryland so concerned about anyone outside of the family. And you are trying to entirely avoid him because you are hurt that he is dating Serenity. They all really care about you, but you can�
��t see it because you are so focused on feeling guilty that you don’t care about anyone else. Only your emotions matter. That kind of selfishness is only going to hurt everyone else, and it will eventually drive them away. Yet you pretend that isn’t the case by deflecting and faking that you are fine. Absolutely brilliant.”
Cora glared at Emery, her emotions clearly written in that expression. He smiled back, “That’s better. Stop trying to hide it. You’re pissed, so say so.”
“Don’t hide it? Alright. Fuck you,” she spun on her heel and quickly walked away from him. She hoped to find some other way down because she no longer wanted to be anywhere close to Emery. Hearing him follow her, Cora sped up and started to look for a way to lose him. “Stop following me, asshole,” she said over her shoulder.
There was no response, so she began to jog.
“Cora, it’s not safe. Stop!” The sound of Emery’s voice behind her spurned her forward. Seeing several boulders resting on the path in front of her, Cora thought that she might be able to lose him. After months of trying to hide her feelings of guilt and shame, the dammed-up emotions were bursting forth in a reckless display of disregard for her own safety. Cora’s bag slammed against her back as she ran down the path. She looked behind her as she veered to the right, thinking that Emery would follow the path down instead of the one leading up. Pleased that she couldn’t see him behind her, Cora turned back around just as she reached an opening in the ground. Desperately waving her arms, she tried to keep herself from falling over the side. Unable to fully stop the forward momentum, she watched in horror as she fell through the opening.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. The way the opening grew closer, her hand reaching out for something, anything to stop her fall. It was impossible to see very far into the opening because it got dark quickly. The path was on the wrong side of the mountain, so there was no sunlight at that time. That meant she had no idea just how far she would fall.
Resigning herself to the fate that would befall her, Cora felt a sense of calm. While she knew that her brother would be sad at first, it would mean he finally could live his own life without having to constantly worry about her. Her friends may be upset, but they would get over it. What did she add to anyone’s life? Closing her eyes, Cora decided that it was for the best.
It all happened in a second.
Chapter 4
Repercussions
The next second, something slammed into her, but it wasn’t the hard rock that she had expected. And it didn’t hurt either. Whatever it was, the thing was fuzzy and warm. It wrapped around her like a large warm blanket.
She felt a jolt, but no pain because whatever was under her protected her from the worst of the fall. Confused as to what had happened, Cora decided that she must have died and her brain was no longer properly processing what was happening.
The fall lasted less than 30 seconds, but it seemed to stretch on forever. When it was over, the fuzzy warm thing rolled her to the side. Cora let gravity do the rest, and the feel of cold rock met her hands. She didn’t hit hard, so she opened her eyes and tried to look at whatever had stopped her from the worst of the fall. Without thinking, her hands began to pat various parts of her body as if to make sure nothing had been detached in the fall. Her eyes weren’t acclimated to the darkness, so she couldn’t quite make out whatever had protected her.
A second later, someone groaned nearby. “Oh fuck, that was just… Goddamn!” There was emotion behind it, but it was cut off by a sudden gasp. “Shit. That’s not good either.”
“Emery? What the hell?” Cora stood up and backed away from the voice.
“Don’t be an idiot again. Ahh.” There was a sharp intake of breath and a strange sucking noise.
“How the hell did you get down here?” Cora took another step back.
“Cora, there is a large opening behind you. If you keep stepping back–” there was another groan before Emery finished, “you are going to fall again.”
“What the hell did you do?” Cora desperately willed her eyes to see the world around her, but it was too dark to see what he claimed was behind her. Half thinking that he was lying, she moved her foot back a little.
“Seriously? You are going to test – oh shit, that hurts!” Emery’s voice echoed around them.
As angry as she was, the fact that he had fallen down because of her made Cora feel guilty. Bringing her bag around to the front, she started to dig through, looking for a light. She had one for her hat, which would have been ideal for the current situation.
“As for what I did, I stopped you from killing yourself. You’re welcome.”
Cora stopped moving. “That couldn’t have been you. It was something big and hairy.” She started digging around in her bag, willing her fingers to find the light.
“Your point being?” There was annoyance in his words, but there was also pain.
“Are you hurt?”
“Do you care?”
Cora stopped for a moment and considered his words. She had been running away from him, endangering herself in the process. It seemed like a valid question. “If you actually did save me, then I would be heartless not to care. Despite your shitty opinion of me, I actually don’t want to be the cause for anyone else’s pain.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
“Of course I care. Clearly you fell down after me, so it’s my fault you are down here, too.” She was ready to ignore his claim that he had saved her. It was impossible that he had done anything, but it was also impossible to ignore that he was here because of her. “Great, one more shitty thing I’ve done to someone. You should have just let me–”
“Say one more word, and I will tell your brother.”
Cora paused for a moment and considered what Emery had said. “What makes you say that? Why do you think that will make a difference?”
“Judging by the way he and Silas planned this trip, it is clear that he is really worried about you. Given how reckless you just were, I think I know what has him most worried. It seemed like a safe bet that you have given him reason to be concerned for your safety. Since you don’t care about hurting yourself, threatening to tell him seems like the best way to get you to stop acting like a complete moron.”
Cora gritted her teeth.
“Say it. There is no reason to spare me from your venom.”
“I’m not a moron.”
“I see no evidence to the contrary.”
“You are a real asshole. Obviously you aren’t anything like the rest of your family. At least you aren’t like Ryland and Silas.”
“No, I am not like them. When I see a problem I figure it out and try to solve it. Unlike Ryland, I have no problem with hurting someone’s feelings if it forces them to face reality. He’s blunt, but not smart enough to understand how his words affect people. It’s the reason he has no business trying to take care of the family.” Emery muttered under his breath, “Not that someone is paying any attention to that.”
“At least he isn’t a complete and utter asshole.”
There was a sound like a growl that was quickly cut off. Emery groaned, “Please don’t make me laugh right now. I need to get this fixed up before you say anything else funny.”
“How was that funny?” She glared into the darkness.
“I’ll tell you later.” There was the sound of something ripping and some grunts from wherever Emery was.
“Are you alright over there?” Despite the way she felt about him, Cora couldn’t help but be concerned. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Don’t run off again. That would be lovely – uhhh.”
“You were the one who said to let my feelings out.”
“Yes. Learn how to express your emotions more honestly. That isn’t the same thing as running away from them.”
“I wasn’t running away from the way I felt. I was running away from you.”
“Bullshit. Every time Silas has tried to talk to you, you have changed the sub
ject or dodged answering. He didn’t even realize it at first, not until I started pointing it out to him.”
“How the hell would you know?” She slowly started to move forward toward the voice, her foot stretching out a little at a time, trying to see if it encountered anything.
“Because he came to me to talk about it. He could tell something was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what. Ryland also talked to me about it, which is the whole reason I came on this trip. Neither of them is exactly good at dealing with these kinds of problems.”
“They are better at it than you.”
“Not really. I just miscalculated.”
“I'm not something that you can calculate.”
There was a loud sigh. “Actually, people’s emotions can be calculated to some extent. The only thing that varies is the degree to which they feel and respond to their emotions.”
“I don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”
“Of course you don’t. You don’t bother to understand people. Very few people ever bother to really understand their own species.”
“Did you lie to me? Because you sound like a shrink.”
There was a stifled laugh followed by a groan. “I asked you not to make me laugh. It just makes me bleed a little more.”
“What?” Cora moved forward as quickly as she could, her hands outstretched. Suddenly images of Emery having broken bones popped into her head. Feeling shocked at being perfectly fine and being angry, she hadn’t even considered what his condition was. It was only at the mention of blood that she began to consider that he had not fared as well as her during the descent. “Are you okay?”
There was a groan before he answered, “Probably. But seriously, I know you don’t care, so don’t worry about it.”
“Shut up,” her voice was harsh and uncaring, but it disagreed with her actions. Cora stretched out her hands and felt around for Emery. Even though her eyes had had enough time to adjust to the darkness, it was still too dark for her to be able to see. Instinctively she looked up for a second. “We must have fallen quite a long way.”