It occurred to me only when I was almost back to the house that this was a small place, where gossip was almost like food. Jonathan was nowhere to be seen, I’d started working at the bar, and a dark cloud followed me wherever I went. I tried putting on my happy face for everyone, but I was realistic enough to know it didn’t work every time and that people watched even when I wasn’t aware.
All of them cared for me, despite the fact that I’d known them only a couple of months. By the time I reached the house, I was crying. I didn’t really want to leave the place—not the island, not the house… All of it was my home, with only Jonathan missing from the picture. With him by my side, I couldn’t ask for anything more.
As I opened the outside fence, the first thing I saw was Jonathan’s Pathfinder. It almost had me dropping down to my knees. Somehow I managed to push my bike all the way up to the house, get the groceries out of the basket, and go inside.
I was anything but calm. My thoughts were speeding hundreds of miles an hour, too fast for me to grab at even one of them.
He’d come back. Did he want me to leave now? Did he expect me to be gone already? How long did he have? Would we continue living together until he died? Did I want to be with him until he died? What if all he wanted from me was some fun and all the emotions were one-sided?
I put the stuff on the kitchen table, then walked slowly to the back of the house as if in a numb daze. I’d missed him so bad while he’d been gone. All our time together was too precious to throw away. I imagined I could smell him, the fresh scent of his skin; I could almost taste his lips just by being in the same space with him. I knew I had it bad. I needed him almost like I needed water to live.
I tried to be as quiet as possible, walking all the way to the terrace in the back, peeking through the opened door, expecting to see him in one of the chairs. But everything was empty. The only betraying sign of someone’s presence was the monster truck in the front.
Slowly I opened the door to his room, expecting to maybe see him sprawled over the bed, but the sheets were empty, and there was no sign of any kind that someone had even entered the room. My heart was slamming loudly against my ribs, like it was a basketball player’s favorite toy, and suddenly the air became unbelievably thick.
There was only one more room left that I hadn’t been in, and that room was mine. Silently I turned the knob and pushed the door open, half expecting another empty space, but in this one, the bed was occupied.
Jonathan was in the middle of it on his stomach, his hands hugging my pillow where he’d buried his face. His wide shoulders were stretching the fabric of his suit jacket, and my mouth instantly watered. I’d forgotten how good he looked in a suit after three months of seeing him only in jeans and shorts.
My mind was filled with possible opening lines, words I wanted to tell him, but all that managed to leave my mouth was a whimper. “Bee?”
His head turned in a flash, the look in his eyes changing from desperation to hunger. “Nino?” he said, as if not believing it was me he was really seeing.
“You came back,” I stated lamely, still not believing my eyes.
He said nothing this time, jumping from the rumpled sheets to the floor. There was uncertainty in his step, his eyes searching for something in mine. It took a while before I understood what exactly, and then I extended my arms in pure invitation. There was no rejection in me, there never again would be. How could I reject the only man who had ever meant anything in my life?
His arms hugged me tight, and I didn’t even realize I was up in the air until he started spinning with me pressed against his firm body. “I love you,” he whispered over and over again, like he was trying desperately to convince me.
“I love you too,” I said with my fingers gripping his hair so tight, it had to be almost to the point of pain.
He stopped then, my feet touching the ground once more.
“You still love me?” His expression was incredulous, and for the first time, I wondered what exactly had caused his sudden leaving.
“I never stopped loving you, Bee,” I told him as I looked straight into his eyes. I had nothing to hide from him.
“I wasn’t sure… I don’t deserve another chance.” His eyes dropped to the floor.
“You’re probably right. Maybe I wouldn’t have given you another chance if you’d stayed. All I know right now is how hard life is without you in it.”
Still searching my eyes for lies hidden somewhere between my words, he held me at bay but waited to hear more.
“You are an ass. I stand behind that. But don’t you think I would be a bigger ass for leaving you all by yourself to go through this hell?” I said the last with a sob choking me. Being brave was so much easier when you only imagined the hard situations, but it turned into something entirely different when you had to voice it.
The hug he gave me was just as strong as the first one, on the verge of bruising, but still the sweetest thing in the world.
“I love you so much,” he whispered in my ear.
“You have no idea how good it is to hear that.”
“I have so much to tell you. And I know how much I screwed up. Please give me another chance, despite what I’m about to say.”
“Okay.” The tone I offered left much to be desired, but it was the best I had, considering the ominous way he’d delivered his words.
“Come to the bed; sit next to me. It’s good news, but I’m afraid you’ll leave me once you hear it.” He was gripping my hand as if considering keeping me by his side by sheer force.
So I sat down, even more reluctant than before, and prepared for the worst. I doubted he could top the “I have a brain tumor” news, but life was nothing if not full of surprises. I also couldn’t help but be stiff next to him, preparing for the blow, but probably looking like a man ready to bolt at any minute.
“I was planning on leaving here the moment I heard you tell me what month it was. I wanted answers, and I needed to talk to my doctor. I really didn’t have a plan, didn’t know what I would do with my last few months. I didn’t really even think about it, but maybe somewhere in my mind, I expected you to be there with me.”
“I would have gone with you…” I started saying, immediately feeling guilty for leaving him to go through all of it alone, but he stopped me with a gentle finger against my lips.
“I handled it wrong. All of it. I should have told you in the first place, but I wasn’t used to sharing anything private with others. Those first few days, you were just an employee, and when that turned into friendship, I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. There were so many times I almost blurted it out but stopped myself at the last minute. It was a coward’s way, I know, and I can’t tell you how ashamed I am of that fact. Once I started falling in love with you, it was too hard to even think about telling you, so I guess I ignored the problem, hoping it would go away on its own. Which it did, I guess, in a way.”
He was sincerely sorry, or at least he sounded like it, and the sad sound of his voice, as well as the explanation, almost brought me to tears. But it was the last thing he said that snapped me from my sappy, teary meltdown. I could almost hear that sound you usually catch in movies, of a romantic song abruptly ending when someone yanks out the record. It was a full-on stop of my brain.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I went to see my doctor. She did all the tests again, and the tumor is gone.” His voice was a mixture of wonder, confusion, and a little fear.
“I’m sorry, what?” Okay, I was being an idiot, because I’d heard him well enough the first time, but I needed him to repeat it just so I could convince myself I wasn’t imagining things.
He hurried on, still looking frightened. “She said it happens very rarely, along with some other vague explanation about the change of environment having something to do with it. Honestly I wasn’t really listening. The only thing I was able to grasp was the before picture of my very visible tumor and
the after picture where there was no tumor.”
“You’re healthy?”
“Yes.”
“But that’s amazing news! Why are you so scared?” My heart was beating very fast as my head was trying to get around the idea that a tumor had just disappeared.
He took a deep breath, finding his knees extremely interesting all of a sudden.
“Are you going to leave me now?”
I was taken aback momentarily, then shaking my head the next minute. “I’m sorry, what?”
“You don’t have to stay with me anymore. I’m no longer sick. I will be all right on my own.”
I was already offended by the time it occurred to me that just maybe he wasn’t telling me to get lost because he didn’t need me anymore. Maybe he was just scared of me leaving him now, because there was no guilt on the table anymore to bother me. I recalled my previous words, and it was basically what I’d told him, that I would be an ass if I left a sick guy to die alone. I wanted to smack myself.
“Bee. Just so you know, I would have treasured every moment spent with you if I had known you were sick, because I wouldn’t have had anything more than moments. What do you think I might do with a lifetime with you by my side? I don’t even want to waste seconds of the years we have in front of us, because these past few months have been a treasure that not many people experience in their entire lifetime. I’m still the man I was, and I still want you with every part of me that is sane. But those insane parts of me are the suckers that can’t live without you at all.” I smiled at him when he looked up, and I kissed his shocked face, inch by inch, until there wasn’t a place left untouched by my lips.
The moment mine connected with his basically sealed the deal. It was a promise of sorts that spoke volumes without any audible words. It was hungry, wanting, desperate, scared, and sweet. It was also good enough to put all the unanswered questions and all the unsolved problems aside for a few hours.
His fingers finally found their way to my sensitive skin and were as hot as his kiss. He took the clothes off me the way he always did, like I was moments from getting away from him and the only way to keep me there was to get me naked. I always found it hot, the way his fingers kept searching for more skin even when all of me was exposed, how he caressed but also squeezed, and how he always kept pulling me closer.
I was naked almost without breaking the kiss, and all I managed to get off him was the jacket. He pushed me down on the covers, my naked ass pulling them with me as I moved toward the headboard. He found his way toward me on all fours, a hungry lawyer watching me as if I were a helpless, chained convict and he’d just found his golden goose.
Saying it was erotic didn’t do the picture justice. He was so much more than beautiful or hot; he was a coverworthy wet dream, and I got to see it in the flesh. It was the eyes, though, that had me trembling as if I were cold, the eyes that told me I’d be all his from that moment on, that there wasn’t a force on earth capable of coming between us.
Only when his chin came above my naked groin did he sever eye contact and transfer his attention to my straining erection. He eyed it like food, licking his lips in time with his head moving downward. I was gripping the covers until my knuckles turned white, but I never once let go. I tried blinking as little as possible, anything to catch every moment of the experience.
It didn’t hit me until his tongue licked the tip of my cock, that this was the first time he’d ever gone down on me. The sex was always hurried, passionate, and fast, the way both of us liked it. Now I finally got the chance to feel the heat of another kind.
His mouth swallowed me fast, just like the way we made love, only his gag reflex had him pulling back and trying it a bit more carefully the second time. The wetness made him slide down my length with ease, his lips pressing against the tender skin all the way down and up, but soon his focus turned to the swollen head. The play was teasing at first, his tongue circling it with the very tip, passing over the slit almost as an afterthought, but then he applied such suction that my eyes were turning in their sockets. I could feel the orgasm at the bottom of my spine, tingling and getting ready to rush over me, and I thought foolishly how I still had time.
I was wrong. He never stopped sucking, his lips holding me firmly in place, but he attached his teeth on that sweet spot just below the head, pressing them and moving in succession with the sucking. I blew on the spot, my hips forcing my cock deeper into his mouth as I gave him all that he asked for.
I lost some time after, not really aware of anything around me, and I felt a bit guilty when I finally saw Bee resting on my thigh, his cheek smeared with those few drops he hadn’t been able to swallow.
It fueled my body with more energy, and I had him below me before he knew what hit him. I licked his cheek with a satisfied smile on my face, and I kissed him with the same hunger he kept displaying for me. He tasted as he always did, like the best treat around, only with a trace of me to make it better. I loved kissing him.
His hips were pushing against me eagerly, urging me to pay attention to his lower regions, but I took my time, biting and licking, my short fingernails scraping against his sides. I left his clothes on, unbuttoning only enough for me to see him, unzipping only the necessary zipper that separated me from his long cock.
I pushed his briefs down, ready to swallow him whole, only to hear the music abruptly stop in my head again as the ink and a new haircut made the familiar sight into something surprising.
My eyes flashed to his face, searching for an explanation as my heart was overblown with emotion.
“I love you, Nino. The tattoo is just a visible reminder of all the things that are tattooed on my heart,” he said slowly, his eyes telling me so much more than his words.
I was there to stay no matter what, and the only one that could take me away from him was my sometimes stupid self. He wasn’t planning on ever letting me go willingly. I could have told him that I loved him again, that he was an idiot sometimes, but how it didn’t make a difference in my book. I could have said a lot of things, but I think nothing of it would have made me, me.
“So you get a tattoo next to your dick, and I get a blowjob. Does that mean that if I persuade you to tattoo my name on your ass, I would get to fuck it?” My smile was all wickedness and tease.
Bee smiled back, gripped my sides with his thighs, and stretched out the words, “Lookin’ for adventure…and whatever comes our way!”
I grinned back and swallowed him whole.
Loose Id Titles by Valentina Heart
Looking for Adventure
Valentina Heart
Valentina Heart lives at different locations in Split, at the coast of the Adriatic Sea. Like the directions of her stories her life takes a new twist with every passing year and she welcomes every single one.
As an avid reader for many years, she had a habit of mixing fiction with reality, until she realized that she could simply breathe life to her characters and make them as real as they could get. From forever romantic to deeply troubled, they bring joy to their creator as well as frustration with their naughty behavior.
Kinky imagination aside; she enjoys music and movies just as much as reading, but give her summer all year round and she’ll be ready to free climb, swim, or stretch in all those mind stirring yoga positions.
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