by Tessa Bailey
“Fair enough.” Bowen watched as Connor laid a twenty-dollar tip on the bar. “Listen,” he said, uncomfortable expressing gratitude. “I owe you one. I repay my debts, too.”
Connor turned to leave, then stopped. “You might want to clean the blood off your knuckles before you go see her.”
Bowen showed no reaction, continuing to sip his whiskey. His gaze sought Sera over the rim of his glass, Connor’s parting words echoing in his head. What kind of man had to clean blood off his hands before going to see his girl? A man too tainted to touch her. The glass froze at his lips when he didn’t immediately see her in the dining room. Quickly, he scanned the bar, panic like a hot poker in his stomach. Relax, she’s probably just in the bathroom. But when several minutes passed and she didn’t emerge, fear replaced panic. No way could she have passed him and left the bar. He would have sensed her walking by, would have seen her. She had to be somewhere inside the bar.
His attention snagged on the kitchen, his feet beginning to move before any type of decision registered. When they’d gone out to the alley on Friday night, he’d noticed a door inside the kitchen, one he presumed led to the basement. If she’d gone down there, he prayed she was alone. That she hadn’t been taken down there against her will. Jesus, why had he let Connor distract him? Had it been intentional?
The cook called his name as he entered the kitchen, but Bowen ignored him, taking the stairs leading to the basement two at a time. Her name burned his throat, dying to be shouted, but he didn’t want to alert anyone to his presence until he knew what he was up against. When he reached the bottom, he saw light coming from another door. An office? He went closer, stopping short when he saw Sera, rummaging through a drawer, flashlight wedged between her teeth.
Hogan’s office. She’s looking for the ledger.
The ledger I’ll have to take away. One my name is definitely in. Probably multiple times.
His first instinct was to drag her from the office, tell her to forget everything she’d seen. The more she knew, the more imminent the danger to her life would become. What if someone else, not him, had come down and seen her? Hundreds of customers were upstairs. People loyal to Hogan who would jump at the chance to score points with him by turning in Sera. How could she take such a stupid risk?
Then logic resumed. This was her job. This was why she was there in the first place. It hit him then, how much danger Sera had put herself in. God, if something happened to her…
No. He wouldn’t allow it. She might be on a mission to bring down Hogan and get justice for her brother, but that undertaking conflicted with his own. Keep her alive and safe. He’d justified his role in guarding Sera as a way to protect his sister, but it had become more than that the second he met her. So much more.
It had become everything.
With a heavy swallow, he walked back up to the top of the stairs and slammed the door, before descending once more, slower than before. As he entered the basement, she walked out with a smile, holding up an object. A cell phone.
“Found it,” she said. “Hogan took away my cell phone. Figured there was no harm in getting it back while he’s not here to bully me.”
It was a weak cover story. She knew it. So did he. Bowen grew sick as he registered the look on her face. Fear. Of him. She might be trying to brazen it out, but she thought she’d been caught. Thought it was over and he’d be the one to mete out her punishment. He could see it in her wide brown gaze, the bracing of her shoulders. In his life, he’d never been more ashamed of his reputation, the life he’d led.
With one hand outstretched, he went toward her. “Ladybug—”
“Have to get back upstairs.” She came through the office door and skirted him, heading toward the staircase. If he let her go, she’d run and never come back. That much was obvious. A part of him wanted to let her. The rest of him rebelled at the idea of never seeing her again, letting her leave fearing him. It was selfish and yet he couldn’t let it happen.
Adrenaline blasted through Sera as she hastened toward the stairs, dodging Bowen’s attempt to grab her. She’d been too desperate, too impulsive, and now she would pay for it. Unless she could somehow make it up the stairs and escape through the kitchen into the alley. Knowing Bowen and how he made his living, her chances were slim. No matter what connection she’d imagined between them or kisses they’d shared, it would all go out the window now. For some reason, the realization hurt badly. Why did it have to be him who caught her?
Dammit, she’d seen him occupied in a conversation with Connor and thought she’d have at least five minutes. Had she been longer than five minutes? After what she’d discovered, time had blurred, then stood still. For all she knew, an hour had passed as she stood there, staring disbelievingly at Hogan’s black book of debts.
She hadn’t wanted it to be true. Didn’t see how it was possible. But there it had been in black and white.
Her brother, Colin, had been taking payouts from Hogan.
Later. She would think about it later. Right now, she had to get away from Bowen. She might have taken her chances fighting him off as she’d been trained, but she was unarmed and didn’t know if Bowen carried his gun. As her foot came down on the bottom step, she cringed over the anticipation of a bullet entering her back. Please don’t shoot. She chanted it over and over, calling on Saint Michael for protection, even knowing it would do her no good. He wouldn’t let her leave alive after catching her snooping.
An arm snagged her around the waist and yanked her backward. One second she was free-falling, the next she came up hard against Bowen’s chest. Without hesitation, she began to fight like hell, attempting to bring her foot down on his instep, but he anticipated the move and shifted his foot. Her elbow managed to connect with his gut, although besides a grunt, he didn’t react.
“Stop struggling.” His voice sounded pained, confusing her. “Please, just stop.”
Sera gathered her strength to renew her struggles, but went still when his mouth nuzzled her ear. “Let me go.”
“I wish I could.”
Tears gathered in her throat. This was it. Her uncle had been right. She wasn’t cut out to be a cop, and it all ended now. And after what she’d just discovered, it had all been for nothing. Colin, how could you?
As quickly as the thoughts came, she grew angry with herself. How could she lose faith in her brother so easily? Not to mention herself. There had to be an explanation for Colin’s deception. She simply wouldn’t believe otherwise. With a burst of renewed energy, she twisted from Bowen’s grip, throwing her elbow as hard as she could into his sternum. To her relief, his grip loosened momentarily and she scrambled up the stairs. She’d almost reached the top when a hand circled her ankle, halting her progress.
“Goddammit, Sera.” His hand gripped the waistband of her skirt to gain leverage, his bigger body covering hers in seconds, keeping her pinned on her side. Her breath sounded like a windstorm in her ears as one calloused hand slipped around the back of her neck. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he grated. “How could you think I would?”
His words partially broke through the fogbank of fear. It didn’t seem possible that he could have accepted her cell phone explanation. He was too smart for that, wasn’t he? “I know…I’m not supposed to be down here. I thought you might tell Hogan.”
“No.” He shifted their position, so that her bottom rested on a stair, his hips wedged between her thighs. His forearm supported her back, cushioning her against the hardness of the stairs. Her worries dimmed when his closeness registered. Bowen became aware of it at the same time, because the pace of his breathing increased. “Look at me. You have nothing to fear from me. Ever. Do you understand?”
The moment was so honest, his voice so full of passion, she couldn’t stop her own truth from escaping. “I don’t know who you are.”
He shook his head slowly. “Baby, I don’t know either.”
She shifted beneath him and he groaned. The raw sound sent blazing heat spiraling
through her. After what she’d just learned, how it had ripped her beliefs to shreds, followed by the possibility of being caught, maybe killed, the emotions crashing around inside her needed an outlet. Now. His hard body between her thighs, his mouth so close, promised a distraction. A distraction she’d been wanting since they’d met, if she was honest with herself. Even in the dim light of the basement, his base, hungry sex appeal radiated from him, dragging her under. Of their own accord, her knees rose on either side of his hips, ankles locking at the small of his back.
“Oh, God, don’t do that.” His hand slid down from her neck to hitch her leg higher around his waist, contradicting his words. Rough fingers stroked down the outside of her thigh, his hips rolling once on a choked curse. “You just ran from me. Forced me to catch you. I don’t know if I can say no after being challenged like that.”
“Don’t say no.”
He stamped his mouth over hers, as if to chastise her for what she’d said, but almost immediately his lips softened and he granted her a deep, hot kiss. The hand resting on the outside of her thigh continued its path and cupped her bottom, kneading, squeezing. They broke away, panting at the intimate contact, frustration coating his expression. “I can’t let your first time be on the stairs of a nightclub.”
“You’re not the one who decides what I do with my body,” she argued, with a lot more confidence than she felt. Yes, this might be new to her, but she didn’t want to stop feeling this way. She didn’t want his weight, his touch, to leave her. It would give her time to think.
Something primal, possessive flared behind his eyes. “I’ve got my cock pressed between your legs. For the sake of my sanity, let’s say I am the one who decides.”
His gravelly request sent liquid warmth pooling in her lower belly. Worried he would feel the wetness, she tried to scoot back and close her thighs, but he wouldn’t let her. Almost like a warning, he gave a quick thrust of his hips, sending the rigid fly of his jeans dragging up the center of her damp silk panties.
“Oh my God.” Desire flashed like lightning, fast and jagged inside her. The tug low in her belly was becoming unmanageable. She wanted to squirm to relieve the growing ache, but the friction would drive her higher and she needed to stay grounded. Right? It didn’t help that Bowen had buried his face in her neck, his breath rasping along her skin. When his teeth sank into the side of her neck, accompanied by another deliberate drag of his erection against her core, Sera decided embracing the overwhelming sensations was better than letting him stop. No, please don’t let him stop. She closed her eyes and allowed her thighs to fall open, praying, begging him to do it again.
Her gesture of permission seemed to break something free inside him and he began rocking against her, his tongue licking up the side of her neck. “What sound would you make the first time I sink in, Sera? Would you scream for me or your God?”
Feeling a sense of desperation, needing an anchor, she turned her head to ask for his mouth, but he anticipated her. Their mouths fused together in a wet slide of lips, throaty sounds of satisfaction. She felt a pang of surprise when he released her backside to work his belt buckle. He’d just said he wouldn’t take her on the steps. Had he changed his mind? She opened her eyes to watch his progress, her heartbeat pounding out of control when he unzipped his jeans and removed his thick, lengthy arousal.
“I’m not going to put it in you, baby, I just need to…” He dragged the head of his fisted erection along the seam of her panties. “Fuck. Fucking Christ.”
White light blossomed behind her eyes at the contact with her clitoris. “D-do that again. Please, Bowen,” she implored, hips rising to encourage him.
Teeth gritted, he used the head of his length to circle her, over and over, silk clinging to damp flesh. She moaned and begged, the sound mingling with Bowen’s dark curses. “Once I broke you in, you’d be a sweet little fuck, wouldn’t you, Sera? You’ve got innocent eyes, but a hot, greedy body. God help me, I would never stop banging you.”
He punctuated his final word by pushing his hardness against the silk at her opening, using his thumb to apply pressure to her clit at the same time. The material prevented him from entering, but his round tip nudging her there, his gorgeous face awash with agony as he gave her pleasure…all of it sent her rocketing over the edge. Broken sobs ripped from her throat as her sex trembled and clenched, every muscle in her body seeming to spasm simultaneously.
“Bowen.”
“That’s right, sweetheart.” He cupped her jaw and tilted it, so she was looking up at him. “You say my name when you come now, don’t you? Every time from now on. Again.”
“Bowen,” she panted. Before she’d fully formed the word, he’d reversed their positions, settling himself on the step with her straddling his thighs. With her legs spread, she knew the dampness he’d created was visible on her underwear. Maybe after what had just happened, modesty was a little ridiculous, but she attempted to pull her skirt down anyway.
“Don’t even think about it. It makes me hot as fuck to see what I did to you.” He smoothed his palms over her breasts, then yanked her tank top and bra down in one swift, almost angry motion, exposing her to his eyes. She’d never shown a man her naked breasts before, but had always wondered what it would be like. Her fantasies didn’t compare to the lust on Bowen’s face. His eyelids dipped as though he couldn’t hold them up, tongue snaking out to wet his lips. “I can’t have your pussy, but I’m going to make these mine. Right now.” He gripped his arousal and began to stroke. “Play with your nipples, Sera. Tease me.”
Seeing how she affected him made her feel so desirable in that moment. Their surroundings had faded into nothingness, leaving only Bowen and his deep, hypnotic voice. She traced her fingers up her rib cage slowly, excitement blooming once more as she watched his mouth fall open, letting out a groan. As she’d only ever done by herself, she pinched her nipples, tugging them a little between her thumb and forefinger. Between their bodies, the pace of his stroking accelerated along with his harsh breaths.
“Tell me you wish I’d fuck you,” he demanded. “Tell me you want it bad.”
“I…”
“Say it, baby.” He sucked in a breath, eyes beginning to look glassy. “We both know it’s true.”
He was right. She did want him. In a way that startled her. But once she said it out loud she wouldn’t be able to take it back. Still, the words climbed her throat, wanting to escape. She desperately wanted to see him climax. To be the reason he lost control. Let go, Sera. Just once.
Keeping her gaze locked on him, she squeezed her breasts tight, then let them fall out of her hands and bounce. “I wish you’d fuck me.” She leaned down, bringing their mouths close. “I want it so bad, Bowen.”
“Oh, God.” His body reared up, hips pumping, a growl erupting from his throat. He worked his length up and down so fast his hand became a blur, then she felt warmth between them, coating her throat and breasts. It shouldn’t have turned her on or filled her with feminine pride, but it did. Seeing the physical result of her touch, her voice, it made her feel powerful. Sexy. Two feelings she’d never experienced until now. With Bowen.
When his body stopped shuddering, he looked at her through hooded eyes that coasted down her body with appreciation. Then stopped. As if a switch had been flipped inside him, he jerked upright and began wiping her off with his T-shirt.
“Dammit. You make me crazy, Sera. You know that?” Color still high on his cheekbones, he shot her a look, half disbelief, half amusement. “By the way, I didn’t think you’d actually say it.”
Heat crept up her neck. “It worked, didn’t it?”
His lips tipped into a smile. “Yeah, Ladybug. It worked.” He dropped his T-shirt, then leaned forward to press a kiss to her mouth. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”
“I could ask you the same question.”
Just then, the door at the top of the stairs began creaking open. In a split second’s time, Bowen wrapped his arms around her an
d jerked her into a protective hold. With her face pressed against his throat, she felt his neck turn to see who’d interrupted them. When she heard Connor’s familiar voice, she sagged into Bowen.
“Jesus, Driscol. Control yourself, huh?”
He only drew her closer. “What do you want?”
“A couple of Hogan’s guys just walked in. I don’t think it would be wise if they saw you two coming out of here together.” Bowen tensed at Connor’s warning. After a moment, Connor added, “They’re not going to care that you just came down here to mess around.”
Keeping her blocked from Connor’s view, he tried to fix her clothing, but she slapped his hand away and did it herself. After giving her a look, he relented and pulled his own T-shirt back on, seemingly unconcerned about the dampness at the hem. “Do you have a suggestion or did you just come down here hoping to get an eyeful?”
Connor snorted. “There’s another staircase leading to the hatch we use for deliveries. Down the hallway, past the office. Use it.”
They were already on their feet, moving down the stairs.
“Thank you, Connor,” she said, pausing at the bottom, watching a silent communication pass between him and Bowen.
Connor nodded. “Listen, Driscol?”
“Yeah.”
“This is my last favor.”
Chapter Eight
Sera woke up staring at the scales of justice painted on the guest room ceiling. In another time or place, the irony of it might even be funny. Right now, mere hours after allowing one of New York City’s most notable criminals access to her body, ehh, not so much. To make matters worse, she’d actually been disappointed last night when they came home and he didn’t try to touch her again. He’d told her to make herself something to eat, then closed himself in his room without another word. She’d stood at the kitchen counter and eaten a bowl of Cheerios before reciting her nightly ritual of Our Fathers before heading to bed.
She should have been grateful for time to think and regroup. Instead, she’d found herself staring at the door, willing it to open. This attraction she felt for Bowen didn’t seem possible to control. It was getting in the way of her investigation¸ clouding her judgment, distracting her. Last night, after finding her brother’s name in Hogan’s ledger book, she’d welcomed that distraction, but in the light of day, hiding wasn’t an option. Colin had to have had a solid reason for taking payouts, and now her job would include finding it. Otherwise, bringing down Hogan could mean incriminating her brother in the process.