Zack’s gaze raked Nolan’s body, but he didn’t come any closer. “Are you okay?”
Nolan turned his head and inhaled. Zack’s scent clung to the duvet. “Yeah.”
The weight of Zack sitting on the bed jostled him. The touch of fingers on his thigh made his breath catch.
Zack rested his fingertips along one ridged line of scar tissue. “This really bothers you? What it looks like, I mean?”
“I don’t understand how it doesn’t bother you.” When Nolan looked into Zack’s eyes, it surprised him to see no revulsion. “It’s horrid.”
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t Zack shifting position so his face hovered above Nolan’s leg, nor the gentle kiss Zack placed on the worst of the damage. Nolan’s cock—already hard—twitched at the contact. God, it would have been even better if Zack had taken his briefs off too. The touch of Zack’s wet tongue on his gnarled skin ripped a moan from him.
“It’s not horrid. Our bodies tell a story of who we are and what we’ve done.” He continued to kiss up to the band of Nolan’s briefs. “You’ve been through so much. That’s what I see.”
When Zack hooked his fingers around the elastic of Nolan’s briefs and looked up into his eyes, Nolan’s world came to a screeching halt. For the first time he really saw Zack, the man behind the mask, the person hiding behind the persona who fought the world. He saw the man who struggled with his emotions, who wanted more and better from his life, but didn’t know how to get it.
Nolan saw passion, determination, and lust—and it was all directed at him. “Fuck.”
Zack grinned. “I plan to.”
The remaining playfulness evaporated as Zack slid Nolan’s briefs down; the shock of air on his heated cock pulled another moan from him. It was clear that Zack had no intention of wooing him, of gently seducing him. No, with a gleam in his eyes, he leaned over and sucked on the tip of Nolan’s cock. Nolan’s fingers curled, squeezing the comforter in a vain attempt to keep from moving. Zack’s mouth worked him hard and fast, his tongue explored every inch of skin while his hands caressed Nolan’s scars.
All of Nolan’s fears about being with a lover and having them be repulsed by what they saw fell away. It didn’t matter to Zack, so there was no reason why it should matter to Nolan. He let his body relax and his mind drift. It was so easy to simply be, to feel pleasure in a way he hadn’t experienced in years.
“Yeah, that’s it.” Zack nipped the inside of his thigh. “Spread your legs for me.”
Jesus, he’s going to kill me. Not that he was about to stop Zack from doing what he wanted. Fuck that. Nolan let his legs fall open, exposing himself to Zack and his roaming hands.
“You’re so fucking hot.” Zack pulled back and went to work undressing. “I want to take you like that, on your back so I can see your face.”
Nolan groaned. “Yes.”
The next few minutes became a blur of movement, touching, the occasional frantic kiss. Yes, this was finally happening. He was ready and wanted nothing more than to feel Zack stretch him wide. The moment Zack kicked his own pants and briefs free and went in search of a condom in his nightstand drawer, Nolan’s arousal spiked. God, he wasn’t going to last long when they finally got around to the whole sex thing.
Zack rolled the condom on and climbed back on the bed, stretching out beside him. “You’re flushed.”
“I’m fucking horny.” His cock twitched to drive the point home.
Zack chuckled and ran a finger up the length of his shaft. “I think we need to slow things down a bit.”
“No. No slowing down.” He reached over and pulled Zack’s head down for a kiss. “Fuck me.”
“I will. In time.”
Nolan’s frustration tapered off as Zack continued the kiss, soft and steady. Stubble scratched his face as Zack deepened their contact. Zack leaned over him, half covering his body, cupping his face with large, warm hands. His brain lost the ability to form complete thoughts as his body became a live wire, sparking from every point of contact. The energy became warmth that filled every inch of his body. He’d heard people say that during sex they became one with their partner, that they underwent some sort of emotional merging. He’d always chalked that up to silly romanticizing . . . God, what an idiot he’d been.
When Zack broke the kiss and rubbed his nose against Nolan’s, the sudden rush of unexpected affection made it hard to breathe. How could one man become so utterly vital to his life, to his happiness, without his even realizing?
He swallowed down the hard lump in his throat. “Please.”
Zack caressed his cheek, frowning. “You okay?”
“Please.” He opened his legs again. “Please.”
Zack must have understood exactly what Nolan wanted. Without another word, he grabbed the bottle of lube from where he’d tossed it on the bed and squirted a generous amount on his fingers. Holding eye contact, he pressed a single finger into Nolan’s ass, pumping slowly enough to relax the muscles before adding a second.
“You’re so tight.” Zack placed a kiss to his chest.
“I’m ready.” To underline his point, Nolan thrust down on Zack’s fingers.
Zack’s eyes rolled up into his head. “You’re going to kill me.” Apparently, he was all for that death, because he moved between Nolan’s legs and pushed his knees up and wide, exposing his hole.
Nolan did his best to relax his body, but the mix of excitement, adrenaline, and lust was too much for him to fight. The first kiss of cock to hole pulled a sigh from him, his body shaking from anticipation. Zack slid his hands along the insides of Nolan’s thighs as he steadily inched forward. The stretch of muscles, the intimacy of the caress, the smell of Zack so present and all-encompassing made Nolan love drunk.
The further in Zack pressed, the louder his moans grew. “So. Tight.”
Nolan’s voice had fled, leaving his body the only method of communication. He bucked his hips, encouraging Zack on until he was finally balls-deep inside him. They stayed that way for a moment, eyes locked and bodies entwined. Nolan could barely breathe, was terrified to move in case he came. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening.
The muscles in Zack’s jaw twitched, and his fingers flexed around Nolan’s legs. That was the only warning he gave before he set a steady pace. Nolan’s cock lay heavy and hard against his stomach, leaking and begging to be touched. Zack’s gaze traveled down and locked on to it. Nolan knew if either of them touched it, the end would come rapidly. Still, with Zack’s gaze where it was, he couldn’t stop from wanting to give him everything.
Keeping his eyes on Zack, Nolan reached down and began to fist his shaft, stroking a counter-rhythm to Zack’s thrusts. “Not gonna last long.”
“Jesus.” Zack faltered briefly before he slammed into Nolan. “Fuck.”
The note of awe in Zack’s voice caught him off guard. Nolan’s hand flew over his cock as he felt his balls tighten, and he knew the end was approaching hard and fast. The first spurts of come shot across his stomach before his brain registered the initial burst of pleasure. Then every muscle tightened as wave after wave of orgasm rolled through him. It wasn’t enough, the sensation lacked something. Blindly, he reached up for Zack and pulled gently until he moved. “Please.”
With come now sliding between their bodies, Zack pressed his face to Nolan’s neck and moaned against him. Yes, that was what he’d needed, the feel of another person’s sweat against his skin. The smell of a man who wanted him for all the right reasons. The sounds of desire and sex against his ear, loud enough to rattle around his brain for the rest of his life.
Zack’s body tensed, his teeth scraped Nolan’s shoulder. Staccato thrusts pushed Nolan down into the mattress; firm muscles against his chest stole the air from his lungs. Zack shuddered, and nearly as quickly as everything had begun, it came crashing to a halt.
Once Nolan caught his breath, he ran his fingers back and forth along the planes of Zack’s shoulders. He made pattern
s in the sweat, dancing his fingertips across slick skin. He thought Zack might have drifted off to sleep. It wasn’t until the gentle kiss just below his ear that he realized Zack had been as settled into the moment as Nolan.
“Do you need me to move?” Zack pressed his nose further against him. “Am I hurting you?”
“I’m good.” For the first time in a very long time, he really was. A blanket of peace had slipped over him, and he knew that despite everything that had changed in his life, he would push on and would be okay.
They stayed there entwined so long that Nolan started to nap; he protested when Zack eventually slipped from his body. It earned him a nip to the end of his nose.
“Stop it. I need to get us cleaned up.”
“Overrated.” He rolled to his side and did his best to ignore the pain in his leg.
“You won’t say that when you’re picking dried come out of your stomach hair.”
“True.”
In the past, the few necessary minutes of cleanup had always felt awkward to Nolan. In a way, it was far more intimate than the sex itself. What they did and how they did it said a lot about his partners and what they thought about him. Gentle or efficient; playful or serious. He watched Zack pad to the bathroom, stripping the condom as he went, his tight ass a beacon in the light.
Zack grabbed a clean cloth from beneath the counter and dampened it. Nolan could see part of his face in the bathroom mirror; a smile played on his lips before he spoke, not glancing up from his task at the sink.
“I don’t know about you, but I’m hungry again. Want to get something to eat? Real food this time.”
“Sure.”
Nolan couldn’t look away as Zack returned, leaned down, and kissed him. He held his breath when Zack pressed the cloth to his stomach and began to clean up the come.
After a few minutes of careful but silent attention to Nolan’s hygiene, Zack passed the damp cloth off. “You rest for a few minutes while I check my email. Need to make sure the world isn’t falling apart while we’re gone.”
In a blink, Nolan was alone.
He stretched his muscles, actually enjoying the slight discomfort from where Zack had pounded him moments ago. It seemed less important than the vague anxiety starting to swirl around in his brain. Sure, his body was sated, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed at Zack’s sudden disappearance. It was reasonable for Zack to check in, and really to be expected given the time of day and how long they’d been incommunicado. Still, when Zack didn’t return within the specified few minutes, Nolan worried that Zack had forgotten about him. A short time after that, when Zack still didn’t return, Nolan’s concern turned from self-indulgent to genuine. Had something happened?
“You coming back?”
Silence was the only response. That wasn’t right. Not bothering to grab his clothing, he followed Zack’s path until he came to the living room. Zack stood in the middle of the room, naked and looking down at his phone.
“Hey . . .” Nolan walked over, wanting to touch Zack, but not sure if he should. “Everything okay?”
“No. Everything is not okay.”
It was only then that Nolan noticed the death grip Zack had on the phone. “What’s going on?”
“Samantha is.” Zack threw the phone across the room, smashing it against the wall.
“Shit, calm down.” Nolan stepped back, suddenly uncertain about what might happen next. He’d forgotten so quickly how volatile Zack could be, and how those mood swings affected him.
“I can’t fucking calm down. That bitch!” Zack marched over to the window, his arms bent up so the insides of his elbows pressed to his ears.
The peace was gone, and in its stead was panic. But Nolan forced himself to exhale, and focused on what was within his ability to control: he needed more information. “Tell me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on.”
“All of our work, everything. None of it mattered.”
The hell? “What do you mean?”
When Zack turned to face Nolan, there was nothing hiding the rage he clearly felt. “She announced layoffs. She’d been planning it all along.”
Zack wasn’t used to being ignored, not even by his boss. So the fact that he’d been standing outside of Samantha’s office for the better part of forty-five minutes Monday morning had done nothing but allow his anger to grow into a raging beast. He’d given up sitting ten minutes earlier; it was either pace around the waiting room and glare at Samantha’s assistant, or run the risk of yelling at the poor woman who’d done nothing wrong.
Nolan would have his head on a pike if he did that.
God, Nolan. He hadn’t wanted to leave him and their escape on Friday, but they’d had no choice but to return to the office. Not that it had done Zack any good. Samantha hadn’t been around—no doubt she’d been hiding out, anticipating how he’d react when he got the news. Zack had sent Nolan away, amidst a flurry of arguments that he had nothing to do at home and was more than happy to stay and help all weekend. For a moment, Zack had been tempted to take him up on the offer, but there was nothing they realistically could have done, so they left.
This morning, he needed his anger to push him forward, to fuel his drive and ensure that this current bullshit would be dealt with. Get rid of ten percent of his team? Was Samantha insane? Not only was it unnecessary, putting needless hardship on the impacted employees, it would send ripples throughout the whole company. Morale and loyalty would crater, and everybody would start polishing their résumés and sniffing around for escape routes.
Samantha’s voice echoed through her closed door a moment before the handle turned. Zack ignored the assistant and got in the way the second the door opened. Nancy from HR was on the other side, looking more than a little pale. No doubt she’d been given a horrible assignment.
“Mr. Anderson.” Nancy glanced behind her to where Samantha stood glaring, before sliding past him.
Samantha might be many things, but easily intimidated wasn’t one of them. Holding Zack’s gaze for several long moments, she finally sighed. “Carm, can you please hold my calls?”
“Yes, Ms. Rollins.”
“Come in, Zack.”
He had to bite his tongue to keep from saying something that would get him immediately fired. It was Nolan’s advice he heard in his head: “Keep it simple and ask your questions, don’t get mad and it’ll all be fine.”
He crossed his arms and stared down at Samantha when she took her seat behind her desk. “What the fuck is going on?”
“And good morning to you too.” She laced her fingers together and gave her head a shake. “I’d ask what you’d like to discuss, but I don’t need to.”
“What was the point of me putting my staff through hell, making them spend nights for a week to cut expenditures so we could save jobs, when you never had any intention of saving them in the first place?” His voice had grown to a roar that left his body shaking.
No, he couldn’t lose his shit. It would accomplish nothing and would only serve to get him in trouble. Pulling in a long, slow breath, he counted to ten in his head. God, it was annoying that the voice he heard counting was Nolan’s.
Clearing his throat, he forced his arms to his sides. “Sorry, let’s start again.”
“Probably for the best.” Samantha leaned back, but gave no indication of how she was feeling.
“Good morning, Ms. Rollins. I received your email about the layoffs. I was hoping we could discuss the particulars.” You coldhearted backstabber.
“Have a seat, though there’s really only so much we can change.”
Fine. He’d handled situations and people as hard-nosed as Samantha before; he could do it now. Taking the guest seat, he spread his legs wide and lowered his chin to look directly at her. “Why is this happening?”
Samantha tapped the edge of her desk with her finger, a move she did when she was making a decision. “The board had a meeting. We’re going to be taking Compass public in the next six months
.”
“That’s good. I’m surprised they hadn’t made that decision before now.”
“They didn’t because of what needed to happen first. The company needs to get lean. We need to streamline processes, costs, get the books shining so when we hit the market we’re poised to launch straight up.”
It made sense, and having this bit of information helped slot a lot of seemingly left-field requests from the past year into place. They wanted to clean house before their every move fell under investors’ microscopes. He bit back his first impulse—to pound a fist on the desk and demand to know why he hadn’t been looped in to begin with—and bought himself some time to think instead. “Okay. I see. So, the extra budget request, the layoffs . . .”
Samantha nodded. “All preparation. The board set a date, and we have to meet it, no matter what.”
A bubble of rage made it to the surface. “This is wrong. There must be another way to keep staff and still ensure the books are ready for a public offering.”
“Do you think we’re doing this for the hell of it? The severance packages will be there—it’s a financial weight that we’re not taking on lightly. We’ve cut and trimmed where we could, but this is more than just bookkeeping. It’s our opportunity to ensure we have the right staff in place to take us to the next step. Trim the fat. Surely you of all people can appreciate that.”
Zack leaned back and let his gaze slip from her to the city skyline behind her. He did understand. He hated it, didn’t want to be a part of it, but he understood. “How many do we need to let go?”
“We’re tackling new hires and those who have questionable performance reviews first. Once they’re gone, Nancy figures we’ll only need to have managers cut two percent of their teams. And they will have identified those candidates during this week’s budget reviews.”
Two percent. That would work out to be five or six people from his team. More than he would have liked, but not as bad as it could have been. “Packages?”
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