“You’re an actor, Thomas. We have to expect that there are going to be times that we have to be in L.A.”
“True. But it doesn’t have to be right now. We need a break, I think. A vacation, at the very least. Time to just be together.”
“I don’t know when that will be in the cards for me,” I said softly. “I think I’m going to need to be here for a while. The others won’t be able to help my dad with stuff like rehab—they all have to work.”
“Then we’ll be in Detroit for a while.”
I stared at him. “What are you going to do in Detroit?”
He shrugged. “Take time off? Or maybe Jenner will let me be in one of his plays—you know he has a theater downtown.”
“Thomas, this is a huge stage in your career.” I thought of all the times I’d heard Heidi refer to this as his make-or-break moment. “You can’t just take time off right now.”
“Of course I can. I went straight from shooting Darkness to shooting Hostile last year. I never got to take a break before promotion started. And then we came out here. I’m certainly entitled to a break.”
I shook my head. “I didn’t mean that you weren’t entitled to one. I know how hard you’ve been working.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
I looked down at my hands. “I don’t like the idea of you doing it because of me. I would never forgive myself if your career stalled over me.”
I’d been fidgeting with my shirt hem, and Thomas took my hands to still them. “Look at me, Lizzie.” I looked up into his green eyes and saw that they were intent and serious. “You are the most important thing in my life. Don’t you know that? Not my career. Not crossing over some superstar threshold. The only thing I’m not willing to give up in this life is you. The only thing.”
His words made the breath catch in my chest. He really meant what he was saying. He would actually give it all up for me.
“I will never ask you to risk your career for me, Thomas.”
He smiled. “I know that. And I don’t think it will come to that. Sure, I might lose a little buzz if I don’t go directly into another huge project, but I’ll still be able to act. Besides”—he winked at me—“I think losing some buzz might be exactly what we need right now.”
“Thomas—”
“Lizzie, I’m not going to change my mind on this. I appreciate everything you’ve done and risked for us to be together. You’ve made our relationship the priority. Why can’t I do the same?”
“You do make our relationship a priority. But that shouldn’t have to mean you give up an opportunity like this.” I didn’t know why I was arguing with him. I was thrilled at the idea of not having to stay in L.A. for another four months. But I hated that he might do something that could have a negative effect on his career for me. I had always promised myself that I wouldn’t let that happen.
“What if you did the movie,” I said, raising my voice slightly when he started to object, “and I stayed here. Like you said, it won’t be like last time. You’ll just be on the coast, not in another country. We could take turns flying on the weekends.”
He shook his head. “Not good enough for me. Seeing you only on weekends? For months? No. Not after I’ve had the opportunity to live with you full time.” He tweaked my ear. “I’ve gotten quite used to having you around.”
When I still didn’t look convinced, he went on. “You’ve always said it was easier for you to relocate—to London, to California—because you didn’t have anything tying you to one place, right? Well now you have something tying you here: helping your mum. So it’s my turn to relocate for a while.”
I felt tears come to my eyes. He really meant this. He was really willing to risk the momentum he’d been building for the past year in order to stay here with me. “I don’t deserve you.”
He laughed and pulled me back into his arms. “I’m the lucky one in this scenario, love.” I felt his lips press into the top of my head. “I wasn’t kidding you when I said this was forever for me. And if this week taught us anything, it’s that nothing is as important as family. You’re my family, Lizzie.”
I was really crying now. “You’re my family, too. I never realized I could love someone so much.”
“No more crying.” He wiped tears from my cheeks with his fingertips. “I’ve seen you cry enough this week. I hate it when you’re upset.”
“If you come to Detroit, where will you stay?”
“I could rent a house just as easily here as anywhere else. Somewhere close, so it’s not quite as painful to leave you here every night.”
I shook my head. “I’ll be staying with you.”
“You don’t have to do that. There’s no sense in upsetting your dad all over again.” Thomas laughed. “I think he might actually like me, now. Even though he refuses to accept that Arsenal is the greatest football club in the world.”
I laughed too. “Him arguing with you about soccer is actually the surest sign yet that he likes you.”
“Well, we don’t want to risk that. If your parents preferred you to live here while we’re in town, I would understand, Lizzie.”
“No. I’m going to be where you are. I’m done pretending to be something I’m not for someone else’s approval. Even my parents.’” I thought about my dad accepting Thomas at the hospital, about the way he had forgiven me for leaving when it really counted. “Besides, I think they’d be fine. I think they’re ready to accept me, too. And it’s like you said—” I gave his ear a tweak of my own. “I’ve gotten quite used to having you around.”
I once again felt as if a piece of the weight on my chest had lifted. I hated that he was leaving in the morning but knowing that it would only be for a few weeks, instead of the months I had been dreading, made me feel better about our relationship than I had in a long time.
We found Maria in the kitchen, pulling things from the refrigerator. “Hi,” she said. “I thought I would make Daddy that soup he likes, but I can’t find the leftover turkey.”
“I think Matias used it to make a sandwich.” I glance at the clock. “Grocery store’s still open. Want us to go get more?”
She started to object, but Thomas was already grabbing his coat. “I’ll go. I wanted to make sure you guys were stocked up before I left, anyhow.” He kissed my forehead. “See you in a bit.”
I watched him walk out of the kitchen, thinking about what a help he’d been.
“That boy’s going to ask you to marry him.”
I spun to face Maria.
She’d been watching him walk out, too. She caught my eye and grinned. “Definitely.”
“You think so?”
“Is that a surprise to you?”
I knew I was blushing a little as I sat at the table. “Not really. We’ve talked about it, a bit. But nothing definite. What, uh, makes you think he’s going to propose?”
She rolled her eyes. “It’s obvious, Lizzie. The way he dotes on you. The way he came out here to be with you and help your family. That’s not the behavior of a guy in a casual relationship.”
I felt a slight stirring of the old anger. “It was never a casual relationship.”
She stared down at the table. “I know that, now. I’m sorry I didn’t see it before.” She looked up, and her eyes were wide and guilty. “I’m really sorry, Lizzie. That I made it so hard for you. That I never took your calls this year.” She sniffed a little, and I had a horrible suspicion that she might cry. “You were trying to be the bigger person and reach out, and Daddy and I both just clung to our stubbornness. That was so wrong.” A tear slipped down her face. “I always thought that you didn’t understand how important family was, leaving the way you did. But you got it much better than I did. I wasn’t a very good sister.”
I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. “You were always a great sister, Maria. You took care of us, all of us, my whole life. And you only wanted what was best for me.” I took a deep breath, trying to shore up my courage. I was never good a
t confronting Maria. “But I think you didn’t realize that what was best for me wasn’t the same thing as what was best for you. And that I’ve been old enough to figure out what that is for myself for a long time now.”
She nodded. “You’re right. And I’m sorry.”
I smiled at her, feeling shy. “It’s okay.”
And it really was. Maria was always going to be bossy, was always going to be pushy. She would get into my business and try to tell me what to do for the rest of my life. It was just how she was. But I would much rather have her in my life, even if she was going to try to control it, then go on without her.
“So, does he have a ring?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at me.
I blushed. “I don’t think it’s that imminent.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.” She took a sip of tea, giving me a meaningful look. Something about her expression made my heart start to beat faster.
“What makes you say that?”
She was quiet for a minute, as if debating whether or not to tell me something, before she finally smiled. “I heard him ask Daddy.”
“What?”
She nodded. “This afternoon, at the hospital. They were down in the cafeteria. I don’t think they saw me, but I heard them.”
I raised my hands to my flaming cheeks, feeling simultaneously shocked and overjoyed. “He asked Daddy?”
Maria nodded. “Yup. And get this—he asked him in Spanish.”
“Now I know you’re lying. Thomas doesn’t speak Spanish.”
“He must have learned. One sentence, at least: Me gustaria que tu bendicion.”
I would like your blessing. Oh my God.
“You’re not messing with me, are you?”
She laughed. “I swear to you that I’m not.”
“Wow.” A horrible thought occurred to me. “I hope Daddy said yes.”
“I didn’t stick around to find out. But I have a feeling you’re in the clear.” Her brown eyes stayed on mine for a long moment, as if she were trying to figure something out. “How do you feel about that, Lizzie?”
“I feel…I don’t know. Really happy that he would ask Daddy. That he would include him, like that.” I knew asking permission was old fashioned, but I also knew my parents would appreciate being involved, would think of it as a sign of respect. And I liked that Thomas had asked for his blessing, instead of his permission.
“But?” she asked, her voice soft.
I tried to pinpoint what was causing the sliver of fear that pierced my excitement and happiness at the news. “I think…I think I’m scared, too. At least a little. Things have been hard this year, Maria. Being in L.A.”
“Hard how?”
“Well, part of it was just feeling so separated from the family.” She looked away, and I felt bad for bringing it up again. “But it was tough for a lot of reasons. He was working a lot. And had all this crazy pressure from the movie people. And I spent a lot of time feeling like I was…I don’t know. Freeloading, I guess. Living in that big house and having all this glamorous stuff, just because of who I was dating. If Thomas and I get married, it will be like that all the time.”
“Marriage is a partnership, Lizzie. You can’t go into it thinking about his money and stuff versus your money and stuff.”
“I know that. It’s just…” I paused. I hadn’t had a chance to tell anyone about the book fiasco. Did I really want to share my embarrassing experience with someone who was so very fond of saying, “I told you so?”
“It’s just what?”
“Did Mom tell you about that meeting I had? With the editors from New York?” She nodded. “Well, it turned out they were just interested in my book because of Thomas. They wanted me to change the plot so it was about a girl falling for someone famous. And market it as a book written by the girl-next-door with the movie-star boyfriend.”
Maria winced. “I’m sorry. I could tell from the way Mama talked about it that you were excited.”
“It really, really sucked, Maria. And if Thomas and I were married…I feel like I’ll spend the rest of my life not knowing if I could have made it on my own. Not knowing if any of my successes or failures have anything to do with my own talent.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“But you’ll know how hard you work for everything,” she said. “And so will Thomas and your whole family.”
“But other people won’t.”
“It sounds to me like you need to decide if you care more about what other people think than your happiness.”
“You don’t know what it’s like out there. People can be so rude and catty, Maria. We would go to these industry parties, and I could just see everyone judging me.” I thought about Lola Fischer. “It was like that all the time, even back in London. So much cattiness. And the press, and all the fans.” I clenched my fists. “We couldn’t even spend a day at Disneyland without getting mobbed. People think it must be so glamorous, to date a celebrity. But it’s not easy.”
“So what?”
I looked up at her. “What do you mean, so what?”
“I mean, little sister, who cares if it’s hard? You think your relationship is the only one with challenges?”
“No, of course not—”
“Everyone has problems. Everyone has stuff they have to get through, stuff they have to deal with. What if you and Thomas were poor? What if you had all that stress about money and security that you know Mom and Dad had when they were first married? Do you think that would be easier?”
“No, but—”
“Or what about Laura? Trying for all these years to have a baby. Having to listen to stupid relatives constantly wondering about it.” She winked at me before she went on. “Do you think that’s been easy for them?”
“No, Maria. I’m not saying it is.”
“Well, it sounds to me like you’re thinking your problems are somehow harder or more insurmountable than anyone else’s, just because your boyfriend is famous.”
I snapped my mouth shut. She was definitely brash and outspoken, my oldest sister. But was she also right? Was I just being whiny?
“Look.” She reached across the table and put her hand over mine. “I’m not saying that you don’t have a right to be bothered by your challenges. And it probably does feel isolating because the stuff you guys deal with is different than the stuff most people deal with. But at its heart, your relationship is just like everyone else’s. And I can tell you without hesitation that they’re all hard, Lizzie. No matter how they might look on the outside. They’re all hard.”
I nodded, staring at her hand on mine. It felt very strange, having Maria of all people trying to talk me into working through the issues in my relationship with Thomas.
“Hey,” she said softly, and I looked up into her face. She was smiling at me. “What you need to decide, sis, what every couple has to decide, is whether or not your relationship is worth fighting for. Because that’s the only way they ever work—if you fight for them.”
Chapter Twenty-five
Thomas spent the next morning with me at the hospital before his afternoon flight. My mom was sitting up in bed when we went into her room, and she smiled at the sight of us.
“Lizzie,” she said, her voice deliberate and slow. She was still having trouble with her speech, but they were already starting her on therapy. “Thomas.”
We both sat with her, holding her hands, while Thomas told her all about the movie he had to get back to, and what it was like in California. Her eyes remained firmly on his face as he talked, a smile on her mouth. I knew it was probably harder for her to follow than she let on, but Thomas talked smoothly and continuously, pausing occasionally to ask her simple questions, putting no pressure on her. When it was time for him to go back to the house to get his things, he kissed her cheek and promised to see her soon.
“I’ll be back this afternoon, Mama,” I said, bending to kiss her myself. Before I could raise my head, she brought one hand up to my
face, brushing my cheek softly. I closed my eyes at her touch, filled with gratitude that she was still here with us.
The ride back to the house was nearly silent. My stomach was already aching at the thought of Thomas leaving. He’d been so supportive, to all of us, over the past week. Imagining going weeks without seeing him, when things with my mom were still so unsettled, seemed impossible.
“So we’ll stop and get your bag and then head down to the airport,” I said, trying to make my voice sound casual and unconcerned. “Do you want to eat lunch at the house or once you’re checked in?”
But Thomas shook his head. “I booked a car to come get me. They’ll be here in twenty minutes.”
I felt a little swell of panic. “Twenty minutes?” I’d thought we’d have all that time on the trip down to the airport. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him in twenty minutes.
We had reached the house, but I sat rooted in my seat. I had a feeling I was on the verge of some majorly immature and whiney behavior—like wrapping my arms around his legs and begging him not to go—and wanted to get myself under control before I moved.
“Come on, Lizzie. Let’s go inside and relax for a minute.”
“Can you cancel it?” I asked, my voice strangled. “The car? Let me drive you.”
“You’re already going back and forth between home and the hospital four times a day,” he said. “You don’t need to spend two hours round trip just to see me off.”
“I want to see you off. I want as much time as I can get.”
“Please, Lizzie,” he said, his voice taking on a serious note. “I don’t want to think about you all sad and worried, driving back here after I go through security. I’ll feel better if I know you’re safe at home and close to your family.”
I could tell he wasn’t joking around, so I sighed and moved to unbuckle my seat belt. “Okay. Let’s go inside.”
As soon as we reached the living room he pulled me onto his lap on the couch, not complaining when I clung tightly to him. “It’s only a few weeks,” he said. “And I’m going to see if I can come back at least one of the weekends.”
Lovestruck in Los Angeles Page 22