by Stark, Lola
“Stop laughing, get over here and help, or get lost!” I grumbled at Trip who was rolling around on the grass laughing. I’d spent hours sweating my ass off and listening to him giving me shit, but if this worked, it would be worth it.
“Sorry, dude, you’re on your own,” he said through his burst of laughter.
“Sorry-assed spoiled little shit. One day, I swear to God, one day you’re gonna have to do something like this after you piss your woman off,” I muttered, stopping to take a long pull of my cold beer.
“Not likely, bud. Don’t need a woman and don’t wanna keep one if this is any indication of what you gotta go through for a piece of tail,” he said, nodding toward the large area I was working on.
“Shut up and pass me that box, moron. Besides, you know she’s worth it, and wasn’t it you who told me to pull my head outta my ass and fix my shit?”
Dropping the box at my feet, he smirked. “I said fix your shit, not hand in your man card!”
“My man card’s still in my pants, now help me out before I beat your ass,” I answered, throwing a pair of gloves at his chest.
“In your pants is the only place it’ll be staying until she forgives your stupid ass too,” he chuckled.
“So what’s the big plan? I can’t see Scar taking you back this quickly.”
“Cheese,” I said smiling at the plan I’d come up with after Scarlett left for work this morning.
“Cheese? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think a dairy product is gonna help you.” He looked confused.
“Tacky cheesy displays. I’m gonna annoy her into taking me back.” A triumphant smile broke across my face thinking of all the ways to annoy Scar back into my arms.
“This could go bad, real bad. I’ll help, but I’m staying clear outta Scar’s way. I don’t feel the need to get punched in the junk.” He had a point there.
“You help me out, and I’ll do all I can to save your sad excuse for equipment, dude,” I said, smirking at him.
With the two of us hard at work, we managed to get my first plan done in no time. Standing back admiring our handiwork, Trip clapped me on the back and smiled. “Looks like it’s go time. I’m out.” I looked up to see Scarlett pulling into the drive.
Damn, I hope this works.
Standing back, I waited until Scarlett walked over to the edge of my masterpiece. Leaning in, I kissed her forehead as she looked around in what I could only guess was shock.
“What the hell is that?” she asked. I wasn’t quite sure how to gauge her reaction.
“Flowers,” I simply answered, my eyes flicking from the front yard to her face and back again.
“I see that, but why did you rip up half my front lawn to plant hundreds of flowers in the shape of a heart?” She was trying hard to look annoyed, but I could see the edges of her mouth tipping up.
“Well, because I wanted to get you flowers. This way everyone can see how much I love you,” I answered matter-of-factly.
“You went out and spent a fortune on God knows how many pots of flowers, dug up half my front lawn, and planted them in a heart shape bigger than me? Because you love me and you want everyone to know?” she summarized, looking slightly annoyed. Damn, she was cute when she pulled the cranky face.
“Yep, I gotta get cleaned up. I’ll be over a bit later, babe.” Kissing her on the cheek, I took off toward mine and Trip’s, leaving Scarlett staring after me.
Just before I made it to the other side of the road, she yelled out, “You won’t be coming over, Mace, the door will be locked!”
I waved over my shoulder smiling at Trip sitting in the front window watching us with a huge smile on his own face, and yelled back, “Sure I will. We’ve got a movie to watch!”
“Honey, I’m home!” Uh, excuse me? Mace walked further into the house, threw a few DVDs on to the coffee table and made for the kitchen with a stack of pizzas in his hand and a grocery bag dangling from his fingers.
“You’re not home. You don’t live here, and how did you even get in?”
“I have a key,” he smirked, dropping the pizzas down and dumping the contents of the bag he was holding onto the kitchen bench.
“Excuse me?” That’s it. That was all I had. Where the hell did he get off? How did he even have a key, and wait, why all the food? “Why do you have so much food? There’s enough junk here to feed an army.” The bench was covered with more sugary crap and junk than anyone in their right mind could eat.
Leaning closer, he pecked a kiss on my shoulder and went about putting popcorn into the microwave. “I promised Jude I’d watch the twins, so the twins are coming over. They’ll be here any minute.”
“Excuse me?” What the fuck’s wrong with me! My brain apparently went on a tropical getaway the moment Mace strolled through the door like he lived here. “What do you mean ‘here’?”
“Here, babe. Like coming over for the night, here. You’re alright with that, aren’t you? I can call and tell the boys no. They were just so damn excited to see you.”
Asshole!
He was purposely using the boys against me. He knew full well I wouldn’t say no. I had a feeling he was up to something else too. Narrowing my eyes at him, I opened my mouth to tell him just that when the front door burst open with a flurry of activity. Jude stumbled in after the boys looking flustered and tired.
“Thanks for doing this, guys,” Jude puffed out as the boys both ran full force into Mace’s legs, knocking him back a step.
“No problem, Jude, have fun tonight. Boys, take your bags upstairs to the last room on the right and then we’ll have some pizza.” Mace had apparently told them they were sleeping here too. I wasn’t about to be a raincloud, no matter how much Mace was annoying me with his take-charge attitude.
“Have a nice night, Jude; the boys will be fine, I promise,” I assured him
“Not the boys I’m worried about, especially if that sugary crap is for them,” he chuckled, nodding to the pile of snacks on the counter. “Anyway, good luck, and I’m outta here before you guys change your minds.”
Jude said goodbye to the boys and took off so fast it was almost comical. While Mace sorted the boys out with pizza and a movie, I brought drinks and popcorn into the living room. Turning, I quickly realized I’d been set up. The twins sat quietly staring at the opening credits of Transformers, while Mace lounged on the other sofa, the only spot beside him. Time to put my big girl panties on and suck it up I supposed. Grabbing a slice of pizza, I went to flop down beside him, only to land right in his lap. He’d purposely done it, the smirk on his face said so.
“Mace,” I hissed, “either move over, or let me up. I’m not doing this with you.”
“You don’t wanna cause a scene in front of kids, do you now, babe?” His eyes twinkled with humor. Oh, he was going to push my buttons all night. He knew I wouldn’t start trouble with kids around; clearly, this had been his plan all along.
“Bite me,” I snarled under my breath.
He obviously heard me because he pulled me back into his hard warm chest, nipped my ears and whispered in that seductive voice, “Just tell me where, I’d be happy to.” Goosebumps broke out across my neck and arms at the thought of him biting me the last time we’d been on this couch together, all sweat slicked and moaning.
Crap. Pull it together, Scarlett!
Clearing my throat, I tried to move from his lap, only to be pinned by strong hands at my hips. “Don’t move, babe,” he said quietly through clenched teeth. Gripping my hips, he ground me down on his lap. The hard-on he was sporting making it clear why I needed to stay put. Well this was awkward. I either had to stay on his lap hiding his problem, or get away and calm my quickly climbing hormones. This would mean risking the boys seeing him like that. Apparently, I wasn’t getting a choice though as Mace’s hands gripped my hips tighter, holding me in place.
Twenty of the longest minutes later, I was finally able to slip off his lap and make a break for it. Those calloused hands I love
so much, wrapped around me as I stood in the kitchen putting the snacks into bowls. I reared my elbow back into his stomach. All it accomplished was Mace chuckling and a sore elbow, “Get off me, you ass. Don’t think I don’t know exactly what you’re up to.”
His body plastered to my back, shook with his silent laughter. “I was counting on it, babe.”
“Stop laughing. It’s not funny. It won’t work, Mace.” I was hoping to hell I sounded convincing because it was working a tiny little bit.
“Looks like it’s time to step it up a notch then. I told you already, sweetheart. I’m. Not .Going. Anywhere.” Kissing the side of my neck between each word, he stepped back palming my ass as he moved away and went back to the living room.
Confused. That was the only way to sum up my feelings. I was confused. How could he possibly step it up a notch? He was being over-the-top sweet and touchy feely, grabbing at me, kissing me, always near me even though I’d told him God knows how many times to piss off. I had my answer almost right away.
“You coming, hunny bunches?”
Mace planned on being sickeningly cute. With a huff, I grabbed the bowl of snacks and stomped back to the living room. This time, I squished myself between the twins in hopes I’d be safe. Turns out, I wasn’t that lucky.
“Are you gonna marry my Uncle Mace?” Jordan asked the second I put my drink to my lips, causing me to inhale, bubbles burning my nose.
Squeezing my eyes together, I tried to recover to answer him, but before I could form a word Mace answered, “I hope she does, bud.”
“I sure hope you do too. You’d make a pretty wife, and then Uncle Mace can kiss you whenever he wants and take you to get burgers and shakes.”
“I—I—umm, well, you see—” I stuttered, not sure how to approach an eight-year-old boy about the fact I wasn’t going to marry his uncle mainly because he was a chicken shit. All the time Jaxson’s eyes bored into the side of my head.
“Do you love my Uncle Mace?” My head swung around to find Jaxson watching me with intense curiosity.
Looking him right in the eyes, I couldn’t make myself lie to him, even if it was for my own good. “Yes, I think I’ll always love him.”
Jaxson smiled big up at me and nodded, looking at Mace. “Okay, you can marry her and have lots of babies then.” Great, they were planning my future, never mind me having a say in it.
“I think that sounds like the perfect plan, Jax. How many babies do you think we should have?” Mace asked the boys, grinning like a damn fool while I glared daggers at him.
“Lots!” yelled Jordan, bouncing up and down excited. “Enough that we can all play soccer and football.”
“But no girls! Girls have cooties,” Jaxson chimed in equally excited, and then he turned to me and added, “Not you though, Aunty Scarlett. You don’t have cooties.” My breath caught the second he said Aunty. I’d never been an Aunty. I’d never thought I would have the chance to be an Aunty. To anyone. Ever.
Mace quickly jumped in, “Alright, shower time, guys. Grab your PJs and hit the showers, one upstairs, one down. Brush your teeth too. Properly. I’ll be up to tuck you in soon.” Both boys jumped up and scampered off.
Mace came over to where I sat, leaned down and kissed my forehead “I’m not giving up; you may as well just give in and take me back.” A cocky smirk crossed his face before he stood, collected all the empty pizza boxes and bowls, and made for the kitchen.
“Hrmmpf! Not likely, buddy!” I yelled out after him. “You can’t cute me to death. It won’t work.”
“Wanna bet, fluff bunny?” he tossed back.
Fluff bunny? Gag!
A goodnight story, plenty of touchy feely hugs and cutesy names later, I was showered and ready for bed, exhausted by the day’s many theatrics It was honestly tiring, trying to avoid Mace’s new routine. Yet, regardless of the fact I wasn’t taking him back, I still crawled into bed a lot less stressed than I had been. Realizing all the creepy stalker crap had pretty well stopped was helping, and sure Mace was bugging me, but he was doing it in the sweetest ways possible. I fell asleep with a smile on my face wondering what crazy cheesy trick he’d try next.
I was getting super freaking pissed. If Trip took off laughing on his cell one more time today, I was going to ink his eyeball. I knew who it was on the other end because that same person had been sending me sickly-sweet text messages all day. All freaking day!
Trip looked over at me and burst out laughing. “Yeah, she’s pissy alright, glaring at me like she might take my manhood away,” he told his constant caller.
“I’m seriously contemplating it.” I grumbled under my breath.
Freaking assholes!
Mace had recruited Trip and Remy into helping with his stupid plan. They were all ganging up on me. The only person I had left on my side was Teeny.
Trip strutted his ass back over to his station smiling at me like he knew a big secret. Maybe I should wipe the smile off his face. Great, I was turning into a violent bitch.
Not ten minutes later, in walked Mace. He made his way behind the counter like he owned the place. That ever present cocky smirk on his face, even with my mood hitting the red zone of irritated, he was still a sight. Dark worn jeans slung low on his hips, white fitted cotton shirt pulled taut over his solid chest and arms, a slight shadow of stubble along his jaw. Damn him for making my blood pressure soar and my lady bits clench. Why couldn’t my hormones stay in line with my temper?
“Hey, kitten, looking beautiful today.”
Yuck, he just wouldn’t quit with the sappy shit. Maybe I should tattoo his eyeball instead? “I’m not a kitten. Why are you here?” I asked bluntly and straight to the point. I didn’t want to be rude, but he was grating on my last nerve.
“Don’t be like that, cupcake. I brought you lunch.” He smiled, putting a brown paper lunch bag on my work table. “Enjoy your lunch and make sure you eat it all up. You need to keep your strength up, pumpkin.”
I could hear Trip and Remy snickering behind me somewhere, whether it was at me or the ridiculous tone of voice Mace was talking to me in, I didn’t know. Mace kissed the tip of my nose, waved goodbye to the guys, and took off out the front door.
“Eat up, pumpkin,” Trip mocked, flopping down into his chair all eyes on me. Curiosity got the best of me and I opened the paper bag, pulling out its contents. An apple, a juice box, a Twinkie, a packet of heart-shaped candy and something wrapped in wax paper. By this point, both boys were in hysterics. Ignoring them, I read the note left on top of the wrapped item.
Love you, baby. Here’s a little something to show you what you mean to me.
You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are grey,
You’ll never no dear how much I love you.
Please don’t take my sunshine away.
All my love. Mace.
What the hell is wrong with that man?
I felt my eyebrows draw together as I unwrapped the paper. He’d lost his shit. It was official. Mace was crazy. Trip was now rolling around on the ground holding his stomach. Remy had tears rolling down his face, and there I sat, holding a peanut butter and jelly sandwich cut into the shape of a love heart. Against my will, my heart swelled; he really was making an effort, a ridiculous effort, but it was kinda sweet regardless.
No! What am I thinking? He’s an obnoxious ass.
“Will you two shut the hell up? It’s not funny! He’s clearly a sick man. Trip, as his brother, I think it’s your responsibility to have him committed. He’s clearly not right in the head.”
“You should see your face; it’s perfect. Wait. Say cheese.” Before I could figure out what was going on, Trip was standing in front of me snapping pictures with his cellphone.
“You little shit, you delete them right now, or I swear you’ll be walking around with no balls,” I threatened.
“You’ll survive, and besides, this is too funny not to share. Teens might wanna see this.
I’ll just send it to her,” he said with a smile while punching buttons on his phone.
Not even five minutes later Teeny walked in the door. “That was freaking awesome. Did he bring you a kiddie lunch?”
“Don’t you start! He’s annoying the crap outta me. Today was supposed to be my day off, but I came in here to get away from him. My bathroom has been invaded with girly fluffy slippers and a matching bathrobe. Don’t even get me started on the ‘his and hers’ towels. The kitchen was full of baked goods, roses and four different pairs of heels he apparently thought I’d look sexy in, and to top it off, Mace was in the backyard shirtless cutting my hedges into hearts and shit.” Teeny couldn’t take anymore, she burst into laughter.
“I’m bored. There’s nothing to do here, and I’m avoiding Mace. So stop laughing at my misfortune and help me find something to do.” I picked up my bag, and flipped the still chuckling Remy and Trip the bird as Teeny and I went out the front door. I came to a quick stop when I registered what was in front of me.
“My Car! Wait. How did you get my car?” There was my baby, all shiny and fixed, with a sexy-as-sin Mace casually leaning against the hood, twirling my keys around his finger. If I wasn’t so mad at him, the fact he’d picked up my precious car and was standing there looking like sex incarnate, would have cause me to walk right up to him and dry hump his leg.
“It’s my buddy who owns the repair shop. I called in a favor; had it hurried and he called me this morning to let me know it was ready.” Tossing the keys to me, he took that moment to move in quickly and plant a big fat kiss on my lips, crushing me to his chest and palming my ass in the process. Mace moved back just as quickly, leaving me stunned and breathless. “Go on, I know you missed her. Go for a spin.” He told me with a glint in his eye.
“Thank you,” I whispered. As mad as I was with Mace, I couldn’t be that rude. He knew what my car meant to me, which I figured was why he called in a favor to have it rushed. I jumped into the driver’s seat as Teeny opened the passenger door and burst out laughing. At the look on my face, or the reason I had a foul expression going on, I wasn’t sure. “What is wrong with him?” He knew I hated the color pink, yet he’d put in fluffy pink seat covers with a matching steering wheel cover and pink fluffy dice hanging from the rearview mirror.