“What’s up, girl?” he said, dropping a case of beer on the counter. “Get me one of them.”
She rolled her eyes at his gruff manner, but grabbed a glass from the dishwasher. “Do you want something to eat?”
“Yeah, what you got?”
She hadn’t really expected to fix anything, and indeed, didn’t cook, but she smiled. “I could order a pizza.”
“Okay, that’s cool.” He kicked off his luminescent white sneakers. “Make it a large, pepperoni.”
“Pepperoni makes me sick.”
“What are you telling me for?”
Forget about the stupid pizza, she told herself. “Oh, no reason. That’s fine,” she said, pouring beer in a glass. “I’ll order it and then we can talk.”
“I thought we already talked.” Troy picked up her remote and flipped on her flat-screen television. Zooming through the channels, he stopped at a music video of scantily clad young women gyrating to heavy beats. “I thought I was coming over here for something other than some talking.” He snatched Danielle onto his lap and jammed her hand to his groin. “That’s what I thought I came over here for.”
The touch excited her, but she knew she had business to take care of first. “Seems like you’re feeling better,” Danielle said, noticing the quick recovery. She passed him the beer. “Well, we still have a few things to iron out.”
“Why don’t you iron out that number to the pizza place and then come on back over here and sit on Big Daddy’s lap?”
Troy shoved her off him. She shot him a dirty look when she stumbled to gain her balance. Danielle quickly found the number and placed the order. Then she sat on the couch next to him.
“So you ready to give me some?” He groped for the zipper on her dress.
She slapped his hand away and retorted, “Troy, you don’t know if I’m going to sleep with you or not.”
“Girl, stop playing!” He snatched her to him and kissed her hard. She sank into his bruising kiss, then twisted away.
“You’re not just going to disrespect me and then think everything is all right,” Danielle challenged, staring him straight in the eyes. She licked her bottom lip.
“You think you’re calling the shots here or something?” Troy demanded, pinning her down and kissing her again. His hands roamed her skin. “Don’t you know who is in charge here? Don’t you know I always get what I want?” he said. When her breath began coming in ragged bursts, he snatched his hand away.
Danielle’s eyes flew to his smirking face. She shoved him off her and struggled to sit up. “And I get what I want. Now, we need to get a few things straight.”
Troy instantly abandoned the harsh, demanding tone of a moment ago and charm oozed from his lips. “Come, on, baby, don’t mess up the mood. We got plenty of time to talk about whatever you want.”
“Troy, listen,” she said as he began touching her again. “Troy, look, wait,” she said, knowing her power of persuasion was in this moment. “What about that woman who called me? How did she get my number, and how did she know so much if you’re not doing anything with her?”
“Baby, I told you, she’s stalking me.” His fingers again got busy on her skin.
Danielle wanted to melt under their touch, but she tried to clear her throat and regain the conversation. “Troy, listen. I’m tired of playing around. I’m twenty-eight, almost twenty-nine years old. I want a family—well, maybe a dog instead of kids—a house . . . all that stuff one day. But I can’t have that with someone who is fooling around. So just tell me, are you seeing anybody else?”
“Baby, I’m into you right now.” He kissed her neck.
“I mean, period, not just at this moment,” she insisted, making one last effort to push forward her conversational agenda. She tried to shove his kiss away, but she didn’t try too hard. “I’m not going out with anybody but you. And I need to know you’re doing the same for me.”
“Why are we even having this conversation?”
“Troy, I need someone who is going to be faithful to me,” Danielle said. “I need someone who is going to do right. I need someone who will go to church with me.”
“Church?” Troy said. “Is that what this is about? Half the time, you don’t go to church yourself, and now you want to drag me up in there? C’mon, now. You know I don’t get down like that.”
“Well, I might not go to church every time the doors open—”
“Every time the doors open? You barely make it once a month.”
“That’s not true!” Danielle snapped, though she knew his words did have some truth to them. “Anyhow, this isn’t about me. It’s about you. I want a man who at least is making an attempt to live right.”
“Well, when you start living right, then maybe I will,” Troy said. “It just kills me that all the women I date want to start trying to change a man. And yet they aren’t doing what they should do. How many times have you cussed me out? How many times have you done crazy stuff that I know is not in the Bible? So, why are you trying to hold me to a different standard?”
“I am not trying to hold you to a different standard!”
“Oh, really? Well, why is it that it’s okay for you to lie—you lied to your boss earlier today, telling her you had a life and death emergency and had to be rushed to the hospital—but you get on me for lying? And why is it that it’s okay for you to disrespect me, but you want to kick me to the curb for saying a few words to you? I’m just trying to see what makes you so special that you can live any way you want, but you want me to get a makeover.”
“You are twisting everything all around,” Danielle said. “I am saved, but maybe I’m not delivered from every single thing. I am human. If I make a few mistakes, so what? At least I believe in Jesus.”
“Well, isn’t being saved about a little bit more than that?”
“Well, that’s the main thing,” Danielle retorted. “I don’t have to be a holy roller.”
“Seems a bit hypocritical to me.”
“Oh, well, you wouldn’t understand,” Danielle said. “Non-believers always want to hold believers up to an impossible standard. And it’s not that simple. I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to believe in Jesus and try to do all right.”
“Well, how can you press me to do right when the best you can do is try?” Troy asked. “That’s why I’m not down with all that stuff. I just live my life the way I want and that’ll be all right.”
“But, Troy, we can be really good together,” Danielle pleaded. “You can join my church. We can get married. We can be happy.”
“Baby, you knew what I was when you got with me,” he snapped. “Now stop all this mess. I’m the same thing now as I was then.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that you are looking really good.” He stood up and stepped out of his pants. He let the boxers slide to the floor and kicked them away. He disrobed, taking off everything else.
“Troy, so, is this just a little fling for you? Just a little piece?” she pressed. She gathered her composure and slid off the couch and stood, brushing her dress back down around her thighs. He reached for her and she jerked away, refusing to let him touch her. But he followed her and dragged her to the floor with him. “Troy, you can’t do this.”
He ignored her and tore off her dress. She gave a halfhearted resistance when her dress fell in a wrinkled heap on the floor, but didn’t say anything when she, too, was naked as her body waited for him to finish what he started.
She mustered what little will she had left and repeated her question. “Am I just a piece to you?”
“Baby, baby,” he said. “Look, don’t get yourself all worked up. You got the music playing all nice, you’re smelling good, looking good. Now, let’s just enjoy the moment.”
She waited for him to finish pleasing her, but he didn’t. Instead, he peered into her face. “See, this is what I mean. Don’t your little Sunday School lessons teach you that having sex outside of marriage is wrong? I d
on’t see you trying to stop doing that. So do you just pick and choose what rules you’ll follow?”
“Shut up, Troy!” Danielle said, annoyance making her tone sharp. “I told you, it’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand. The Bible was written thousands of years ago. Not everything in it is to be taken literally.”
Troy grinned. “See, that’s why I like you. You always know what to say.”
Troy kissed her again and a smile of satisfaction spread across Danielle’s face. He was here with her now. Whoever he was with the other day didn’t matter. She knew sharing her body was the key to affection. She had learned that skill long ago.
“Do you like that?” she asked, kissing his neck.
“Yeah, baby, you know how I like it.”
“Are you going to get serious about me now?” she pressed.
“Yeah, baby.”
Danielle grinned to herself. She pressed further. “So, do you love me?”
“Girl, come on!” he said roughly, leaning in to kiss her again.
She wrestled free. “Do you love me?”
“Yes, girl, now come on!”
I’ve still got it. Satisfied, she leaned into his kiss.
Chapter 16
William returned home two hours later, dropping the keys onto the table next to the door. “Mama sent you a plate,” he said to his wife.
Nikki rolled her eyes. She knew his mother hadn’t sent a thing for her. If anything, he had sneaked the plate out of the house. William’s mother still blamed Nikki for snaring her son into marriage so young. His mother had wanted William to be free and independent of responsibilities and had even threatened to boycott the wedding. And if he insisted on marrying so young, she wanted her son to be with a girl who was raised in the church, not someone like Nikki.
“Thanks,” she said. “I thought you were going over to Mac’s?”
“I dropped by there for a minute but they were pretty busy. The kids were running around and Janice was fussing about something so I ducked out of there,” William said. Nikki saw his eyes searching her face. “So, are you calm now?” he asked, kissing her cheek.
She wanted to pull away, but did not. “I was fine before,” she said.
“Baby, you were wound pretty tight.” He placed the plate on the counter in the kitchen.
“But Will, you can’t just walk out on me because I’m upset or talking about something you don’t want to talk about,” she replied.
“I didn’t leave you.” William stepped out of his shoes in the living room. “I’ll never leave you, but nothing was going to be accomplished by that conversation. You know I don’t like confusion.”
“So now I create confusion?” she asked, walking to the kitchen to peek under the aluminum foil on the plate he brought. It was loaded with greens, macaroni and ribs.
He walked up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. “Baby, let’s not do this. You know I think the world of you. And I know you’re stressed about everything that’s going on.”
“Well, why can’t you talk to me about it then?”
“And say what? That I’m a lousy provider? That I can’t take care of my family? That my child is ill and there is nothing I can do? That my wife is afraid and I can’t comfort her?” He let go of the grip he had on her and stepped back.
“No,” Nikki said. “But maybe we don’t need all of this.” Her hand flailed in the air, taking in the vaulted ceiling, the hardwood floors, and the expensive living room set. “Maybe we took on more than we could afford.”
“But, baby, don’t you see? I want to give you nice things,” William said. “This and more!”
“Will, we’re living in a four-bedroom house, three bathrooms, a pool.” Nikki shook her head. “We were in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in New Orleans. And we were making do.”
“Making do!” William shot back. “That’s just it. I want to do more than just survive! I’m tired of struggling. And when we had the opportunity to move on up, we took it.”
They had taken out an adjustable rate mortgage to move into the house they could afford no other way. But now interest rates were rising and their monthly payment had already doubled.
“But why, Will?” This conversation wasn’t new to them. “Why are we trying to keep up with the Joneses? Who are you trying to impress?”
“It’s not about trying to impress,” William said, “but it’s a business decision. We have to look the part. I have to look successful, if I want to be successful.”
“But, baby, you don’t have to drive yourself into the ground,” Nikki pleaded. “We are buried in debt here. We can’t afford our life!”
“You just don’t understand it,” he told her. “God blessed us with this house. We had that hookup at the mortgage company. How else would you explain us getting approved for a house we certainly should not have been able to afford? That was a blessing.”
“How can it be a blessing if it’s stressing us out?”
“Don’t talk like that,” William said. “This financial strain is just a temporary inconvenience. You’ll see. All this will change soon. Our business will really take off. Right now, we’re just faking it ’til we make it.”
“But, Will, we’re only fooling ourselves. It’s—”
“Look, what do you want from me?” William shot back. “I’m doing the best I can! I try to put a roof—a nice roof—over your head. I work extra hard so you can stay home with our daughter, so you can go to school. I am running myself ragged on this campaign so I can build important connections so we can meet the types of people we need. Everything I do is for this family. And you’re telling me it’s still not good enough.”
Nikki turned to face him. She sighed. “Look, I’m sorry. I know this is tough on you too. I didn’t mean to be so difficult.” She touched his arm.
He sighed and smiled. “It’ll be all right, baby. I promise.”
She nodded. “I love you.”
“I love you more.” Nikki’s doubts remained. Love was great. But it wouldn’t pay for her child’s surgery.
Chapter 17
PASTOR AND MAYORAL CANDIDATE HAS DEVASTATING GAMBLING HABIT.
The headline screamed from the top of the front page of the newspaper. Below it was a large, smiling photo of Reverend Chance.
William’s throat constricted as he opened the newspaper bin to grab a copy. He stood right there and read the story. Passersby grabbed papers, too, and he could hear more than a few disparaging comments.
“I always knew that pastor was dirty.”
“Aren’t they all?”
“I know we are not going to elect a preaching crook.”
The comments hurt. This story just seemed to fuel animosity toward a pastor these people knew absolutely nothing about, other than what they’d read.
“This is bad,” William muttered under his breath. He had tried to talk the pastor out of speaking to the reporter, but Reverend Chance had insisted, saying he wanted to set the record straight.
The record is straight all right.
The story detailed Reverend Chance’s gambling addiction ten years prior, with it culminating in the loss of his home and running up tens of thousands of dollars in debt. The pastor said he was free of the addiction now and hadn’t set foot on a casino floor in years.
But all that seemed lost to William, who couldn’t get that headline and large photo out of his mind. It seemed to be a sinking ship. But he knew he would stick with the pastor until the end.
William turned to get back into his car when he heard someone call his name. He looked up to see a beaming Spencer looking back at him. Spencer waved, and the light caught on his watch, making it sparkle. The watch had probably cost more than William’s entire wardrobe.
“Great story in the paper this morning. I see you picked a real winner,” Spencer called from his late model Mercedes. He let out a loud cackle and the window rolled back up.
William climbed back into his Protégé. He sat in silence behind the wheel, no
t turning the key in the ignition, not doing anything but listening to his thoughts. He had felt led to be a part of Reverend Chance’s campaign, but how much longer could he remain? He was devoting more time to this campaign than he was to his computer business. And that meant he was generating even less income for his family than before.
“Lord, I believe you told me to help Reverend Chance on this mission, but I need some direction. Nikki is right. We have mounting debt. We’re in a house we are having a hard time affording. Our daughter might have a medical condition that requires expensive treatment. I wonder if I should get off this campaign and get back to building my company on a full-time basis. But I know even as I entertain these doubts, sometimes you are working things we cannot see with the natural eye. So please help me to stay on course and keep going in the direction you have for me, even when I can’t see the way.”
William turned the key in the ignition and headed to the campaign office. He knew his wife sometimes thought he sat passively by and waited for God to manifest changes. But that’s how William grew up. His mom taught him that faith was about trying to hear God’s voice. And to do that often meant he had to wait.
William appreciated Nikki’s declaration of love for God when they got married. He believed a couple should be spiritually on the same path, so her joining his church eased a lot of stress. Plus it took away one of his mother’s arguments, because his mom constantly railed that William should not be with a woman who was not saved. So when Nikki got saved and baptized, that was a huge relief.
He knew his wife was a good, strong Christian woman. She had immersed herself in Bible studies and joined several ministries at church, including becoming an usher. She had dropped out of the choir and went to fewer Bible studies now, but she worked hard to do what she knew to be right. On this latest matter concerning Psalm, though, they disagreed. Nikki thought faith meant doing what she could first and letting God handle what she could not do. But William thought faith was about trusting God and waiting to see what happened.
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