William dropped his blazer on the wingback chair in the living room and let his keys fall to the counter. He walked down the hall and turned on the hot water in the shower, then stepped back into the bedroom and disrobed. He let his suit fall in a heap in the floor, too drained to care. He moved with strong, gazelle-like legs across the threshold into the shower again, enjoying the freedom of being alone in the house.
He closed his eyes and let the water cascade across his shoulders and chest, willing the steam to take with it the stress and strain of the campaign and the day’s argument with Nikki. So much had happened between them. He couldn’t see how they could go back to better times. Maybe he had tried too hard. Maybe theirs was a love that couldn’t last. Even if he still loved her, could he trust her? In his mind, unbidden, an image of Olivia materialized. She offered him so much—her body, political power, money. She had made her wishes known on more than one occasion. Maybe he had been a fool to let that pass him by.
But just as quickly, an image of Nikki materialized. He could feel his body responding to the mental picture of her.
“Seems like I got here just in time.”
William heard the voice and he opened his eyes to see a naked Olivia stepping into the shower with him, her eyes roaming with satisfaction over his body.
Chapter 112
Election Day dawned clear and blue. The wind flirted with campaign signs and tugged at the coats of those who had risen early to cast their votes. William was the first in line in his precinct. At least he would have one vote.
He climbed into his vehicle and drove down the street. He got out at his brother’s house. It was still early. Mac hadn’t left for work yet.
“Hey!” William kissed his sister-in-law on the cheek and stepped into the kitchen, which smelled of fried bacon.
“Hey,” Janice said. “Grab a cup of coffee over there. We have some grits and stuff left over if you’re hungry.”
“No, I don’t feel much like eating.”
“What, too excited about the election?” Mac strode into the room and slapped him on the back.
“I don’t know, man,” William shook his head slowly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, so much has been going on,” William said. “I mean, we’ve given it our best shot, but all this drama around my private life can’t be good.”
“You mean what was in the paper about Nikki?” Janice cut to the chase.
“Yeah.”
“Look, what woman doesn’t have a past?” she said. “Voters can’t hold that against her. I say, more power to her. She cleaned up her act and moved on. That’s the sign of a true transformation. And it just shows how God has worked in her life. I mean, most people just pay lip service to change. She actually made it happen.”
William hadn’t thought of it that way. “Well, most people don’t lie to their husbands repeatedly.”
“She didn’t lie to you repeatedly,” Janice said. “Besides, I’m sure she wanted to tell you, but as life went on and she began to change, she pushed that out of her mind. God had made her into a different person. The person she was then isn’t the one she is today.”
“Well, God also tells us to speak the truth.”
“Yeah, but He says our sins are cast into the sea of forgetfulness when we confess and believe,” Janice reminded him. “And if God can forgive, how can we not do the same?”
William was silent. He had always prided himself on being a good man, a good Christian. And now when his heart was tested, how had he responded? He absorbed Janice’s words, but made no comment as she continued speaking.
“And as for the election, nobody is going to care about all that when they go vote today.”
“Well, I don’t know,” William said. “I mean—”
“You mean what?” Janice turned, her hand on her hip. “The girl was eighteen years old. You can’t sit here and tell me you never did anything crazy when you were that age.”
William’s eyes shot to Mac and his brother smirked. “Man, she got you there.”
“Remember that time we hotwired Mr. James’s car and went joy riding? Mama almost threw her arm out of joint beating us. And I know you remember when we stole those beers from Old Man Jones and got sick.”
William nodded ruefully. “Yeah, I remember. But that’s not anything like—”
“Whatever, William,” Janice interrupted with an impatient wave of her hand. “I think you’re just too scared of losing this election and this is going to be your excuse if you do.”
“That’s not true!” But he wondered at her words.
“So, why are you so mad then?”
“I’m mad because the woman I’ve been with all this time lied to me.”
“You’re full of it, Will,” Janice said.
“Excuse me?”
“You know Nikki isn’t a liar,” Janice shrugged. “Now, she might not have told you the whole truth, but she’s not a liar. And even if she did all that stuff they said she did; really, what does something she did ten years ago have to do with the woman she is today?”
“Because, I mean—” William stammered.
“Does it change the fact that she gave you a baby? Does it change the fact that she has sacrificed her career for yours?”
“What are you talking about? Nikki hasn’t sacrificed anything for me.”
Janice glanced over at her husband. “Believe me, she has sacrificed plenty. She is a talented photographer, yet she isn’t working in her field because you had some warped sense that you are the man and you are the only one who can bring money into the household. What, are you afraid she might bring in more than you?”
“Hey, that’s not fair!” William shot back.
“Look, I’m calling it like I see it. I know she’s sacrificed a lot, just like I have. It took me a few years to put in check the male ego that I live with,” she glanced meaningfully at Mac again, “to let him know that I can go out and earn a living just like him, and we are equals here. Maybe while you’re getting mad at her over something she did years ago, she should be mad at you for what you are doing to her now.”
William stood up. “You know what? I’m not going to entertain this conversation. I’m getting out of here. I don’t want to hear anymore of this nonsense.”
“Yeah, brother-in-law, don’t let the door hit you where the good Lord split you,” Janice called, dropping her hands in soapy dish water. “Take it easy. Stop by anytime.”
Chapter 113
Nikki bundled Psalm in her favorite pink jacket and headed to the polls. William’s words played over and over in her mind and though she was feeling her heart break, she knew she could not ignore the importance of the day.
She knew all hope for them was surely gone, especially after their recent exchange. He had no respect for her, she felt with sadness. He hates me.
She was low on gas and so decided to walk to the polling place, which was about a mile away from her home. When Psalm began to complain, she hoisted the child into her arms and continued her trudge.
“Hey, aren’t you that woman that was in the paper?” someone called to her at a stop light. “You the girl that was doing all those nasty things?”
She hastened her pace, her eyes straight ahead.
The car rolled next to her. “You hear me talking to you? What you charge for some of that?”
Nikki began running, Psalm still in her arms. “Leave me alone!”
She raced into the street and a car screeched, swerving to miss her. “Look where you’re going, lady!”
Nikki’s heart pounded in her chest as she realized how close she had come to being hit by a car. She crossed the street and put a frightened Psalm down, letting the child walk. She had to get this under control. She could not start freaking out like this.
She walked up to the polling place, pulling out her ID. When she stepped to the table, she saw two women whispering behind their hands, then averting their eyes when they saw Nikki looking straight at th
em.
Her face grew hot with embarrassment, but she refused to retreat. She finished the identification process then followed another poll worker to the voting machine. The black woman was probably in her 60s, though she moved like she was twenty years younger. “You keep your head up, you hear?”
Nikki’s eyes flew to the woman’s face and she saw a steely understanding there. The woman pulled aside the curtain to the machine. “Don’t let anybody make you ashamed of who you are. Never mind what happened before. All that is done. What matters is what you do going forward.”
Nikki stepped into the voting booth. She gave the woman a small smile. “Thank you.”
The woman stepped away, moving to the next booth. “You will be all right. You’re a strong woman.”
Nikki left the polling place, the woman’s words on her heart. As she walked back home, she passed a sign in front of a church that read, “Prayer works. Try it.”
Nikki realized she could not continue on this road alone. She didn’t know the Bible as well as some others and she didn’t devote as much time to church as Sister James, but she finally knew God had a place for her. She knew He hadn’t been rejecting her all this time; she had been rejecting Him. She called on His name when it didn’t seem to matter much, but at this critical hour, she hadn’t trusted Him.
And now, as she walked back home, she just followed the advice of that sign. She would try prayer. Real, sincere prayer. As Nikki crossed the street, she prayed silently. Lord, please forgive me for my actions and help me to trust You. Please help me to look to You and not to lean on my own understanding and make bad decisions. My life is a mess right now, but I know You have an answer. Please heal my heart and lead me the way You would have me go.
“Mommy,” Psalm said, looking up at Nikki.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.” Psalm smiled and Nikki’s heart responded.
“I love you, too.”
Maybe being exposed like that in the newspaper wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened to her. Now that her secret was out, she didn’t have to live in fear anymore. She breathed in deeply and let the air out slowly as she realized she had spent a third of her life petrified of being found out. And now what? Her husband had left her, even before the news. Her best friend had stabbed her in the back.
And she had survived. She knew she would be all right.
She had finally found faith.
Chapter 114
The phone rang again, and it was Danielle. Nikki accepted the charges and as she waited to be connected, she knew she would give Danielle a good piece of her mind.
“I really need your help,” Danielle said when the call was connected.
“You know what? I am so sick and tired of your poor me routine,” Nikki railed. “All you do is manipulate and take advantage of people. That’s why you lied to your coworkers, telling them you were grieving the death of your best friend’s child. You wanted to guilt them into doing your work. And that’s why you can’t ever even keep a man of your own. You’re too busy trying to use and abuse; trying to take advantage. What was it about Troy? Did he tick you off when he chose another woman over you? Is that why you killed him? You couldn’t stand the idea that somebody wouldn’t fall all over himself to be with Danielle Esperanza? Is that it? And now that you’ve gotten caught, you want what, for me to feel sorry for you and bail you out?
“I bet you never thought you’d need me when you were out having secret meetings with Jimmy Vaughn, dragging my name through the mud. Why did you do it? Were you jealous? Did you want to make sure Will and I didn’t get back together so I could be single and miserable like you? Is that it?”
“They’re out to get me,” Danielle said.
“Will you stop saying that nonsense? You’ve been talking about them coming to get you. Who are they? You know what? I don’t care. Lose my number!”
Nikki slammed down the phone.
She didn’t feel the self-satisfaction she had expected, though. Instead, contrition bubbled inside, as she wondered if she could have handled that any better. She recalled a sermon she had heard months ago, based on Ephesians 4:26.
Be ye angry and sin not.
She’d have to work on that. Because she was still pretty ticked off.
Chapter 115
William and the rest of his team gathered in a meeting room at a local hotel as they waited for the election results. An untouched celebration cake perched on a table.
Olivia received calls from poll watchers, who gave her updates. The precincts were coming in slowly. It was difficult to discern any early telltale signs, one way or the other, as the precincts seemed to be evenly split.
William tried to wrap his mind around a loss, even attempting to prepare a concession speech in his mind. He wanted to be gracious. He wanted to thank his staff. He wanted the night to be over.
But he clung to a tiny sliver of hope that he could indeed pull off this upset. A couple of political bloggers had been championing his cause lately, and all his speaking at luncheons and church functions and every other public event seemed to be having an impact as well, as people had started to recognize him around town. Of course, some mentioned those bad stories in the news, but many gave him positive comments. And it certainly had not hurt that a recent news story exposed Dark’s plan to cook up a sweet deal for his cronies in a move that would cost taxpayers millions.
If William could emerge the victor, he would be the city’s youngest mayor. As he looked around the room, taking in the faces of those who had been with him since he had stepped into the race, he felt a yearning for his wife.
Nikki should be here.
The thought surprised him. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about her much today, at least, not for long. Whenever his mind turned to her, he had tried to distract himself.
Olivia sidled up to his side and put her arm around his waist.
“We’re going to pull this off,” she said. “I told you, if you’d just stick with me, I’d get us to the mayor’s office. I always take care of my friends.”
He smiled. “What about your enemies?”
“I take care of them, too.”
A guard ushered Danielle into the visiting area and Nikki couldn’t hide her surprise. She had watched plenty of jailhouse shows on TV—and she herself had been behind bars not too long ago—but nothing prepared her for seeing her friend dressed in oversized, drab correctional center garb, lines etched into her unmade and usually flawless face.
“Hi,” Nikki said. She had finally yielded, deciding to visit her friend.
“Hi,” Danielle said.
“How are you?”
“Not good.”
Silence fell between them. Nikki hadn’t known what to expect, but it wasn’t this. Her heart felt full as she saw her best friend humbled and afraid. She tried to muster the anger that had propelled her but it would not come. She could find no joy in her friend’s anguish.
“I didn’t go to the newspaper,” Danielle said, but Nikki held up her hand. She didn’t want to get into an argument and she knew she didn’t believe a word of the denial.
“We’ll talk about it later.”
“No, I need to tell you something.” Danielle was insistent.
“What is it?”
Nikki saw Danielle swallow and look down at her hands in her lap before proceeding. “You know how I’ve never talked about my family?”
“Yeah.”
“And I’ve never really told you about them, no one, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, there’s a reason.”
“I’m listening.”
Danielle slowly unwound the tale, telling Nikki about the day her father left and her uncle’s abuse. Nikki stared in disbelief and tears welled in her eyes. It had never occurred to her that Danielle had come from such a broken past. She had always assumed Danielle had probably gotten into it with her family over something silly, maybe over Danielle’s superficial nature and big e
go. But Nikki could have never guessed such a sad past—that Danielle’s mother had allowed her uncle to have sex with the girl.
“It was really hard for me to deal with and for the longest time, I tried, I really did,” Danielle said softly. “But one day, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was so sad and depressed and I couldn’t see how my life was ever going to get any better.
“I got one of my mother’s razors and,” she paused and drew in a shaky breath, “I went to the bathroom after I got out of school and I got in the tub and slit my wrists.”
Nikki’s eyes widened.
“I know it’s silly and really cowardly but I didn’t know what else to do,” Danielle confessed. “I didn’t want to live.”
“Five minutes!” the guard called, holding up a hand to confirm the time.
“Well, anyway, after I got out of the hospital,” Danielle continued, “things were okay for a while, but I tried to kill myself again, and I would have except they found me. I tried to overdose on some of my mom’s pills. This time, they made me go to a mental hospital, despite my mother’s protests.”
Nikki put her hand to her mouth to keep from crying.
“I was there for a long time—a year,” Danielle revealed. “I was in and out of mental hospitals from time to time, but I’ve been out for quite a while now. Those records are sealed, thankfully, and nobody has ever tracked them to me. But I know they’re mad and they are out to get me. They want to come back for me.”
“What do you mean?”
“They’re after me,” she lowered her voice. “Everywhere I go, I know people are watching me, waiting for me to mess up, to do something. They send spies. Maybe you’re one.”
Nikki could see Danielle look quickly around, surveying the room, and she wasn’t sure how to respond. But she didn’t want to alarm her friend, so she spoke soothingly. “It’s all right. They won’t get you.”
“Time’s up!” The guard shouted.
Nikki had so many questions. She didn’t want to leave Danielle. But she also knew she couldn’t bail her friend out. She had no money and hadn’t come prepared to find a bail bondsman. She stood and turned to walk away, but looked back at Danielle, summoning the words the elderly woman had given her: “You will be all right.”
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