Rama’s knees gave way. Were it not for Mohan, he would have fallen. For a long time, he kept staring fixedly at the ground. When he spoke, his voice was steeped in pain. ‘Thank you Mohan, I could not bear not to know.’ And he threw his arms around him, and burst into tears.
‘I know Rama,’ Mohan replied soothingly. ‘Come on, there should be some vegetarian food for you.’
Lunch with Mohan and his family was a sombre affair. Mohan’s mother was overjoyed to see Rama and was all attention, constantly trying to serve him some more, but Rama, being in the mood he was, seemed disinclined to eat much and just had a little curd rice. Mohan’s parents avoided the topic of Rama’s parents’ death, and for that, Rama was grateful. His mind was in a whirl, and all he could think of at that point was vengeance; horrible vengeance to wreak upon Haider Ali for putting his parents through so much pain.
Throughout the meal, Mohan had kept quiet as well. After lunch he told his father that he would be going out with Rama, and they left the house together. They had gone outside the village to one of the places where they used to play when they were children: a hillock from where they had watched numerous battles, from where they had tumbled downhill many a time, and from where they could see the countryside all around them. As they sat on that hilltop, beneath a tree, watching the Palar meet the Vegavati, Rama’s mind was still partially numb from all that he had heard.
He had two enemies now, both extremely powerful men. And Rama knew he couldn’t do anything till he had dealt with both of them. His wife and child were in hiding at Chitoor, where he had sent his wife with all their money and little Pattabhi, and Rama knew they would be safe there. What he needed to do was to figure out how he would deal with the two people who were responsible for the death of his parents.
On the one hand, his duty to his parents was to protect the secret that they had died protecting; on the other hand, he wanted his revenge against Haider Ali. What he kept thinking about, though, was what Ronald Morris had told him. From all that he understood of the situation so far, Rama realized that the two were not completely unconnected. But, in that case, it pointed towards a collusion of some sort between Haider Ali and Warren Hastings. This had to be out of the question because he knew that Haider Ali and the British did not get along.
Haider Ali had demanded help from the British ten years ago, when the Marathas had attacked him, in 1772. At that time, the British had failed to honour their alliance with Haider Ali and refused to send their forces to his aid. This complete betrayal had infuriated him, and from then on, he and his son Tipu had been ceaseless in their attacks on the British.
Six years later, in 1778, Haider Ali and the British had been locked in battle. The British, in their resolve to drive the French out of India, had attacked the Malabar coast, and taken over Mahe. They had also attacked a dependent kingdom of his, one controlled by his cousin, and this had given Haider reason to initiate the second Anglo-Mysore war, the war of 1780. He had by this time won back all the land that he had lost to the Marathas, and was master of all the lands up to the mouth of the Krishna river. He had descended through the Western Ghats, and indiscriminately pillaged all the villages that stood in his way till he reached Kanchipuram. Damar had, however, not been attacked again at this point, probably because it was out of the way for Haider Ali, whose priority at that point would have been to finish with the British. He had, however, attacked Kanchipuram, forcing the head of the Peetham to flee.
He then marched on again, unopposed, until he reached St. Thomas Mount and proceeded to burn the Christian establishments in that area. Warren Hastings, the governor general of British-occupied India, sent out Sir Hector Munro, a man with whom he had clashed many times in differences of opinion, with a small army of 5,200 men to meet Haider’s own army of over 15,000. Sir Hector had, however, arranged with his friend, Colonel Baillie, to help him out, and the latter arrived from Guntur with a small force of 2,800 men, all the men he had been able to muster, to aid his comrade-in-arms.
Colonel Baillie’s army was completely wiped out. All the 2,800, including Colonel Baillie, were killed in this battle. Warren Hastings had been in Bengal Presidency at this point, and sent down Sir Eyre Coote to defend Madras Presidency. Sir Hector held his position at St. Thomas Mount, from where he had repulsed Haider’s forces, and then stayed on to deny Haider access to Madras.
Sir Eyre had first been defeated by Haider Ali at Chidambaram, but had persisted and defeated Haider three times successively after that, at Porto Novo, Pollilur and Sholingar. Haider’s son, Tipu, had been forced to raise the siege of Vandavashi, and the British successfully provisioned Vellore. Lord McCartney, governor of Madras, commanded a fleet of ships that attacked Haider at Nagapattinam and defeated him there as well, effectively stamping out all threat from him.
What all this effectively meant to Rama though, was that the British would be the last people that Haider Ali would collude with, considering the mutual distrust they had of each other. Still, there was the information he had been given personally by Ronald and James Morris who had told him that Warren Hastings, too, had been involved somehow in his parents’ death. Which meant Warren Hastings was colluding with Haider Ali. He could not be certain of anything. What he did know was that Haider had no idea where to go next, while Warren Hastings certainly seemed to have a lot of information about the Sri chakra. Therefore, the decision that Rama had to make now was whether to seek vengeance first, or whether to protect the Sri chakra.
What he needed to know first was where the chakra was hidden. He remembered that the plan had been to hide it in Tirumala, but he also remembered that his father had discussed changing the plan as he had left the clearing. Turning to Mohan, he asked, ‘Mohan, is Dhanapal still alive?’
‘Last I heard he had lost his mind.’
‘I have to find him, Mohan. You know, all our people are avoiding me.’
‘That’s because they don’t want any trouble, Rama. We are a small village, and most of the people here are scared that what happened to your parents could happen to any of them.’
‘Well, I think it’s disgraceful.’
Mohan smiled at his friend, ‘Not everyone can be as strong as you, Rama. You haven’t changed a bit since we were kids. You never made allowances for other people’s weaknesses, and I think you need to start. Fear makes people behave in strange ways.’
Rama kept silent for a minute before jumping to his feet. ‘Let’s go, Mohan. I want to see Dhanapal.’
At Dhanapal’s house, Rama went up to the open door and called out. After a minute, a young woman whom Rama recognized as Dhanapal’s daughter, Ramani, came out. ‘Yes?’
‘Namaskaram Amma, my name is Ramaswami Aiyar,’ Rama said. ‘Is Dhanapal Ayya inside?’
‘Where are you from, Ayya?’ she asked, not recognizing him.
‘I have been sent by the head of the Kanchi Kamakoti Peetham. We heard that he was ill.’
‘Yes, Ayya, he’s completely lost his memory. But he is always happy to meet people.’
‘I need a few moments alone with him.’
‘Please come this way, Ayya,’ she said, showing him in. ‘He is confined to his room most of the time nowadays.’ She led him through the front hall into a heavily curtained dark room. Rama stepped to one side, waiting for her to awaken Dhanapal, who seemed asleep.
‘Yes? Yes? Who is it?’
‘It’s me, Appa,’ Ramani replied. ‘You have a visitor.’ Turning to Rama, she smiled at him and then left the room.
Rama stood there for a minute, unsure, wary. Then, slowly going up to the cot, he sat on the edge and gently placed his hand on the elderly man’s shoulder. ‘Dhanapal Anna, it’s me, Ramaswami Dikshitar.’
The name seemed to have very little effect on the man. He stared vacantly at the ceiling, and Rama couldn’t tell if he had even heard. After a minute, he repeated himself, this time eliciting a response.
‘I know that name. You’re Appayya Dikshitar’s son.’
‘There was another,’ the old man mumbled. ‘Who was the other man with us?’
‘Ekambaram,’ Rama replied with a smile.
‘Yes, Ekambaram. What do you want, Thambi?’
‘I must ask you to not tell anyone that I visited you.’
‘The secrets continue,’ Dhanapal mumbled thickly. ‘My life is haunted by secrets.’
‘I need to know where you and my father hid the chakra, Anna.’
‘I cannot tell you, Thambi. Chinayya made me swear … he will be very angry.’
‘Anna, Appayya Dikshithar is no more. If I am to protect the secret, then I must know where the chakra is hidden.’
‘Tirumala. We were told to go to Tirumala.’
‘And you did?’ Rama asked, surprised. ‘I thought my father changed the plan.’
‘Shiva sent us there. Tirumala, the secret lies in Tirumala.’
‘Thank you, Anna,’ Rama said, getting to his feet. ‘I’ll trouble you no more. Thank you.’
‘I must deceive everyone. It is my duty. Tirumala … I was told to say Tirumala,’ Dhanapal muttered to himself as Rama was walking away. He stopped and looked back.
‘Will you not tell me where it truly is?’
‘I do not know. Only Shiva knows. Tirumala, under the Shiva in Tirumala.’
Rama shook his head, exasperated. Tirumala was a Vishnu temple.
‘Remember Thambi, under the Shiva.’
This meant he would have to scour Tirumala for a Shiva temple or a Shiva lingam. Rama left the room and was about to go out through the front door when Ramani came out of the kitchen with a steel tumbler in her hand.
‘Won’t you have some buttermilk, Ayya?’
‘No thank you, Amma,’ Rama replied with a smile. ‘I must be leaving now. I have a long journey ahead of me.’
Rama left the house to find Mohan waiting for him outside.
After they had walked awhile in silence, Mohan asked Rama, ‘So, anything useful?’
‘No, nothing. Dhanapal is definitely senile.’
‘It happened shortly after your parents were killed,’ Mohan said.
‘Did Dhanapal witness what happened?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘It makes no difference anyway. I will have to leave soon, Mohan. There are things I need to take care of.’
‘I know, Rama. You are going after Haider Ali. And I am coming with you. When do we start?’
‘I don’t want you to come, Mohan. I haven’t yet told you the whole story. There is someone else involved as well, someone who’s extremely powerful.’
‘Well then, I guess it’s a good thing I’m coming with you. You can tell me the full story along the way. In any case, you’re going to need all the help you can get.’
Rama kept looking at his friend. He did not know what to say. ‘All right,’ he said at last. ‘We are going to Madras.’
The two of them sat behind the ruins of the Varahishwara temple and talked. The temple had been destroyed by Haider Ali’s men. There was hardly anything left: just remnants of the walls and the lingam itself, something which none of the Nayakar soldiers would break.
Rama told Mohan everything he knew. About Arunachalam, Warren Hastings, the Morris brothers, and his suspicions about Haider Ali’s involvement.
‘Mohan, this is going to be dangerous. It’s my burden, and I have to do it, but you don’t. Are you sure you want to come with me?’
Mohan smiled. ‘I’m not afraid, Rama. And there is no way I would let you do this alone.’
Rama was actually relieved. He was setting off on a difficult mission, and he was glad for the help. ‘Thank you’.
‘It’s almost completely dark, Rama. Let’s go home for dinner.’
‘You go ahead, I’m not hungry,’ Rama said, getting to his feet. ‘I want to stay here tonight. My cart is hidden outside the village; I’ve kept some things in it. I’ll go back, get my blanket and bag, and sleep here in the temple. Meet me here before sunrise.’
Mohan nodded. ‘I’ll bring weapons and some food for the journey. Sleep well, Rama, and don’t get into any trouble without me.’
Though the last words were said jokingly, Rama had no doubt that his friend meant what he said.
Rama returned in an hour. The crickets were chirping and the temple was shrouded in darkness. He washed himself in the Vegavati river, not thirty yards from the temple entrance, before settling down to sleep. His dreams were troubled; he kept seeing his parents’ murders, their lifeless corpses, hearing his mother’s screams. His thoughts turned on him: if he hadn’t caused Ekambaram’s death, if he hadn’t fought with his father, if he hadn’t left the village, if he hadn’t broken his mother’s heart … the list was endless. Rama eventually fell asleep counting his sins and dreaming of demons.
Mohan woke him up when it was still slightly dark. Rama wrapped up his bedding and freshened up at the river before leaving the temple. They made their way quietly out of the village to the place where Rama had hidden his cart and the horses. They loaded the weapons—two exquisitely crafted swords, two daggers and a little crossbow that Mohan had made himself—on to the cart and set off.
They reached Madras by nightfall. Rama was reluctant to go beyond Bhringimalai before sunset so they had waited by the hills for a while, resting the horses. When they resumed, they travelled for an hour till they reached the outskirts of Mylapore. They spent the night by a little wayside Ganesha shrine under a massive old pipal tree in a forest on the outskirts of the town.
Rama spent another troubled night. An hour or so before midnight, he gave up trying to fall asleep and began pacing the shrine. His attention was grabbed by movement in the grove adjoining the shrine. He quickly, silently, made his way over. When he reached the place he found it deserted. As he kept looking for movement, he saw someone walking towards him through the trees. He grasped the hilt of his sword and waited to confront whoever it was that would emerge from the trees.
Periyavar walked out calmly towards him.
When Rama recognized his guru, his immediate reaction was to go down on his knees and put his hands together in homage. He never took his eyes off his mentor, however, and when Periyavar smiled at him and placed a hand on his shoulder, he got slowly to his feet and was the first to speak.
‘Periyavar, what are you doing here at this time?’
Periyavar looked faintly surprised by the question for a moment and then replied, ‘I thought you would have been expecting me, Rama. I hope you didn’t think Periyavar had forgotten you; and I hope you haven’t forgottten me.’
‘Of course not, but I wasn’t expecting to see you either. It has been many years.’
‘Yes, it has. But I was always with you, you know.’
Rama bowed his head again as he replied, ‘I thought you would be, but I did not dare to hope.’
‘Be at peace, Rama. I can feel the turmoil in your heart, but I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened to your parents. That was simply the universe, going on as it does, and for you to believe you were responsible is idiotic.’
‘If I was there it would not have happened,’ Rama replied. ‘I deserted my parents at a time when they needed me.’
‘Deserted? If you were there is another matter that has no relevance. Do you think that you have a hand in everything that has happened and will happen? The universe will continue growing, and the earth spinning. All you are meant to do, Rama, is understand why you make your choices. Not regret them, not feel that they were right or wrong, for that really isn’t of any relevance either. All you are meant to do is understand why you made them, for that is the only way you will understand your purpose.’
‘All right. But I understand that it was because of a choice I made that my parents died.’
‘Then you haven’t understood anythi
ng!’ his guru exclaimed. ‘Your parents, dying the way they did, was the product of a choice they made. Possibly you might have been able to affect the outcome differently, but make no mistake. Whatever happened was meant to happen, and it was the way your parents chose it to happen.’
‘They chose to die like that?’ Rama asked his guru. ‘Are you telling me that my mother chose to get raped before she died?’
Periyavar looked put out by this question. He looked at Rama with an almost angry expression on his face as he replied, ‘No. All I meant was that your parents chose to live their lives out in a certain manner. The universe plays out whatever it chooses to as it does, but there’s no accounting for free will. What happened to your mother was because of Haider Ali’s own weakness.’
‘And I’m going to make him pay for it.’
‘You do as you feel you must, Rama. I haven’t come here to persuade or dissuade you about anything. I’ve merely come here to tell you not to blame yourself. None of it was your fault.’
Rama said nothing and his guru continued, ‘Now what are you doing here, Rama?’
‘I am protecting a secret that my family has been protecting for many centuries.’
‘By killing people? Are you sure that you’re only protecting your family secret, Rama?’
‘I need to kill these people in order to protect the secret of the chakra. Can you tell me where it is?’
‘I could, but I shall not. This is something that you will have to manage on your own. I merely want you to be clear about what you are doing. You are no longer protecting any secret. You are out for revenge.’
‘And I’m asking you, my guru, should I stop?’
Periyavar looked at Rama with a crooked smile on his face, ‘Stop? Who said anything about stopping?’
All of a sudden, Rama heard a rustling in the bushes behind his back. Spinning around, he found nothing, and when he turned back to his guru, he found no one there either. He was alone in the night.
twelve
Rama stood in the clearing, contemplating his next course of action. His path was clear, but the fact that he was consciously putting Mohan in danger bothered him. The only way out for him was to strike on his own while his friend was still asleep. He went back to the temple and left a note for Mohan.
The Onus of Karma Page 11