Wasn’t he the observant one. There was no reason not to tell him. “I had second thoughts about her coming today. Not because of you, exactly.” She shrugged. “I just don’t want her getting too attached. She’s been hurt before because of choices I made and she was stuck with.”
“The ex-husband?”
“Yeah.” Creep. “I met Adam at the hospital. He’s a sales rep for an equipment company. We clicked fast, and he wanted to get married and have a family. He understood that Ava and I were a package deal and said all the right things. He loved her and wanted to be a father to her. And I fell for that line.”
“How do you know it was a line?”
“Because after we were married, he wanted a baby right away. He said he wanted ‘real’ kids. When I pointed out Ava is a real kid, he said he wanted one that had his blood. And that’s a quote.”
A muscle in his jaw moved as his mouth pulled tight for a moment. “Jerk.”
“I called him worse.” She looked away for a moment. “Even after I knew he lied, I tried to make it work, because it was one more mistake on my record. But I couldn’t agree to a baby right away. What he’d said didn’t sit right with me and doubts crept in. The truth is, because of how badly I wanted a family for her, I stayed much too long. I won’t make that mistake again. I realized that Ava and I are a family. We don’t need anyone else to complete us.”
“I get it.”
“I just don’t want her caught in the middle of something a second time. This thing with you and me is supposed to protect everyone we love. But I saw how excited she was this morning to see you and come here.”
“I understand,” he said quietly. “I just thought including her would be a good thing. From now on, I won’t. I’m not him, Courtney. And she’s a terrific kid. I would never deliberately do anything to hurt her.”
“I know.” She was close enough that his legs brushed against hers, and sparks flew. But she didn’t move away. “And another thing. Apparently she knows me better than I realized.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I was trying to warn her not to get attached. She actually said I have a bad attitude about dating. Then she accused me of having an exit strategy with you. That I was already convinced things wouldn’t work out.”
“Did she?” He grinned, and it was full of wickedness.
“This isn’t funny,” she protested, although a smile tugged at her mouth. “I guess I was a little too adamant about her not getting attached to you, about you and me not being more than friends. In case things with us go south. In a nasty way.”
“And they will. Although it won’t be nasty,” he added. “We have our insurance policy in place to prevent that exact scenario.”
“Right,” she agreed. “But she met you. She likes you, and now we’re walking a fine line. I don’t want her to get hurt when we end things. But for this to work, she has to believe that I cared deeply and need time to get over you.”
“I know. So here’s to keeping up appearances.” He took her hand and tugged her between his knees, then kissed her lightly on the mouth.
Courtney’s heart hammered. Her hands and feet tingled. Liquid heat poured through her. She smiled and said, “Kissing class paid off. No bumps, bruises or concussions that time.”
“I am a tutor, after all.”
But this had nothing to do with math. It was chemistry, and she was feeling the reaction. That kiss complicated the heck out of this crazy agreement. Because sex was sounding better and better, especially now that she was on the pill. This wasn’t part of their deal, but what was wrong with having sex? They were friends and liked each other. If her response to his kiss was any indication, there was a mutual attraction.
It wasn’t love. Period. She had physical and emotional protections in place and could proceed wherever her hormones led her. Okay, she thought, now that her head was on straight, she could look forward to whatever was next.
* * *
On Monday at work, Gabe filled in for Carla, who was sick. He answered phones, talked to walk-in clients, and a couple of them even signed a short-term contract for matchmaking services. The morning flew by, and suddenly it was afternoon. He didn’t realize how much time had passed until sandwiches that his aunt had ordered for lunch were delivered. Lil came out of her office to announce it was time to eat and instructed him to lock the door, then turn calls over to the answering service.
She carried the bag of food to the break room and set it on the small table before sitting down. “Will you get us some drinks from the fridge, dear? A bottled water is fine for me.”
He grabbed two and sat at a right angle to her, where his sandwich was waiting. “Suddenly I’m starved.”
“Mondays are always busy.” She took a bite of her food and chewed delicately.
“I had no idea.”
“Because you hibernate in your office. Carla could have told you.” She wiped her mouth with a napkin, then smiled. “How much more do you appreciate her now?”
“So much more,” he said with feeling. For several moments, they ate in silence. Then Gabe thought about what she’d said. “So Mondays are always this busy?”
“Most hectic day of the week,” she confirmed. “That’s why Carla felt so bad about not coming in to work. But she sounded just terrible. Hacking and coughing. Could hardly talk, poor thing. Not good when a large portion of your responsibility is dealing with phone calls.”
“True.”
“Plus, whatever she has needs to be quarantined.” She shuddered. “I don’t want to get it.”
“Me, either.”
He didn’t want to be contagious when he kissed Courtney again. There was no point in promising himself it wasn’t going to happen. She was like popcorn at a movie theater. You could swear up and down you weren’t eating any, but when it was right in front of you, good intentions went out the window and you ordered an extra large. He felt that way every time he looked at her mouth, every time she smiled and flashed those dynamite dimples.
“You’re looking thoughtful about something.” His aunt’s expression was both curious and knowing.
Gabe didn’t want to go there with her again. “Tell me why Monday is so reliably the busiest day of the week?”
“It’s the first business day after the weekend.” She said that as if it was obvious, but he must have looked completely clueless because she continued. “Two days can feel like two weeks if you’re lonely and have no one to share them with. And sometimes we get a call because they’ve shared it with the wrong person. Or broken up painfully. Or found out their best someone is cheating. Being proactive is a very good way to handle heartbreak.” The look on her face said that last one was specifically directed at him.
“All of that makes perfect sense.” And he was officially sorry he’d asked. “What did you do this weekend?”
“Not much.” She smiled as if he’d gone right where she wanted him to go. “But yours was good.”
It wasn’t a question. “How do you know?”
“You look happier than I’ve seen you for a very long time.”
“I don’t look any different.”
“Anyone who knows you can see it,” she protested.
“No,” he said. “For better or worse, I’m the same me.”
“Oh please. I’m old, not deaf, dumb and blind. You haven’t snapped at anyone all morning. In fact, all day you’ve been nothing but gracious. Charming, even. Did it escape your notice that all the new clients you signed up today were women?”
“Really? I’m always pleasant. Dare I add charismatic?” He grinned, and she returned it.
“Maybe I should put you out front more often. I’ll give you polite, maybe. But not generally charming. There’s a difference today for some reason,” she assured him. “I’ve gotten so used to grumpy Gabe that this new upbeat attitude is freaking m
e out a little.”
“I’m not that bad.” He took a bite of sandwich and washed it down with water.
“I hate to break it to you, but you really can be that bad. And generally you are.” She reached over and patted his arm. “But not today. Why is that, I wonder?”
“No idea. But I don’t think I’m any different. I think you’re imagining things.”
“I do have a vivid imagination,” she allowed. “But that’s not what this is. Don’t forget how well I know you, Gabriel. Since you were born, as a matter of fact.”
“I know you, too. And you see things as you want them to be.” He held up a hand. “Don’t get me wrong. I love that about you.”
She smiled fondly. “And I you. Don’t tell your siblings this, because I absolutely adore all of you. But you’re the son I never had. My favorite.”
“And you’re mine.”
“Dear boy.” She smiled. “I’m telling you that because it means that I notice everything. And this happy Gabe tells me that whatever issue you had with Courtney has been satisfactorily resolved.”
Good guess, he thought, remembering that phone conversation. The one where she admitted to still being in recovery from the intensity of the kiss. And said she needed to be on birth control. He went hot just thinking about it.
“We did talk,” he admitted.
“And?”
“I took her and Ava to the zoo on Saturday.”
“So things with her are going well. That makes me very happy, because I’ve been awfully worried about you.” She nodded her approval, but there were tears in her eyes.
And there was visual confirmation that the plan was working. That realization was followed closely by guilt. She was happy because of something that wasn’t real. When did guilt become his BFF? And who knew there were so many kinds?
Guilt that he’d lived and Margo didn’t. Shame for the first time he’d laughed out loud after she died, as if his life without her hadn’t turned upside down and inside out. Remorse for all the firsts he’d experienced without her. And now, the very special guilt for deceiving his aunt who was like a second mother to him. There was a place in hell with his name burned into it.
“Don’t go popping the champagne cork just yet. I’m not the only one who’s had a hard time. Courtney is dealing with a lot of baggage, too.”
Teenage pregnancy and abandonment by the baby’s father. Somehow the jackass she married was even worse. Gabe wasn’t a scared high school kid. He wasn’t the man who’d led Courtney to believe something that wasn’t true in order to get what he wanted.
Although he saw the parallels between that and his current situation with her, he refused to believe it was the same thing. Courtney had signed off on their plan with all the necessary information and her eyes wide-open. She was doing it in order to avoid a third mistake. Proactive, as his aunt would say.
“Look, Aunt Lil, just cool your jets on this. We’re taking things slow.”
“There’s slow,” she said thoughtfully, “and then there’s stuck in neutral. You were there even before meeting Courtney. And you’ve been in that place way too long, Gabriel.”
He couldn’t argue with that. Unbeknownst to her, he was actually still idling in neutral. “We’re just getting to know each other.”
“This will probably get me in trouble, but I’m going to say it anyway.” She met his gaze. “Have you kissed her? And I mean a good one. Not like that one on the patio at your mother’s house. And no, I didn’t see it, but I’ve heard a lot about your performance.”
“Yes, I’ve kissed her again.” And it had been pretty awesome, if he did say so himself.
“Thank goodness,” she said. “But time is wasting. You need to sleep with Courtney.”
He should have been prepared for that. This woman was known for saying outrageous things. “Aunt Lil!”
“Sex has been around for a long time,” she huffed. “Not talking about it won’t change that. And I’ll say it again. You need to have sex with her before she comes to the conclusion that there’s something wrong with you.”
Well, he thought. He would see her outrageous and raise her some. “How do you know I haven’t already slept with her?”
She laughed, then got that mysterious look she was famous for. “I just know.”
“I will neither confirm nor deny.” He took a really big bite of his sandwich, because it gave him an excuse not to talk with his mouth full.
He was definitely not going to confirm to his aunt that he planned to have sex with Courtney at their earliest possible convenience.
Chapter Ten
It was Friday night, almost a week since the zoo trip, and Courtney was waiting for Gabe to come over. Again she was nervous, but not about her clothes or meeting his family. This time she was fixing dinner, and Ava was going to a sleepover at a friend’s house. She would be alone with him.
After work she had put on jeans and a T-shirt, very casual. She freshened her makeup, dragged a brush through her hair and left it free to fall past her shoulders. The last step was a neutral lip gloss. She looked presentable, not provocative. There were no expectations, but that didn’t mean no anticipation. Excitement was humming through her in spite of every effort to squash it.
She blew out a cleansing breath, turned off the bedroom light and walked out the door and into the hall. Ava was in her room putting together her things for the overnighter.
“Don’t forget your toothbrush.” Courtney rested a shoulder against the doorjamb.
“Got it.” Ava held up two sweaters—one left her midriff bare, and the other was blue with a scalloped hem that came well down over her waist. “Which one should I wear tomorrow?”
“I like the blue on you.”
“Because it covers all the skin.” Ava wasn’t asking.
“I’m not gonna lie.” Courtney shrugged. “What are you girls going to do tonight?”
“Probably order pizza and watch movies.”
“So you’re staying in?”
Ava rolled her eyes. “We’re not meeting boys, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“It’s like you can read my mind,” Courtney teased.
She knew her daughter was beautiful and boys had to be noticing. As far as she could tell, Ava always socialized with a group of kids and didn’t pair off, but that would change. The two of them had agreed that she wouldn’t date one on one until she was sixteen, and she would come to her if she needed the pill. There was only so much a mother could control. Courtney just had to hope that Ava would always be open and honest about her activities.
When the thought went through her mind, she winced. She was the one not telling the truth, although she was doing her best to be as honest as possible. Everything was true except that both she and Gabe knew their time together had an expiration date, which was yet to be determined.
Ava tossed the too-short sweater on the bed and put the other one in the duffel bag with sweatpants and a T-shirt to sleep in. “I promise it’s just a few girls. Boys are so immature and gross.”
“That’s the spirit.”
Ava sighed. “You’re so weird.”
“Thank you.” She glanced around the chaos of the room. “If you forgot anything, just text. I’ll try to locate it in here and run it over to you.”
“I’m not five. I don’t need my blankie anymore.”
“Am I a horrible mother for saying I liked it better when you were this many?” She held up her hand with five fingers splayed.
Ava slung the straps of the duffel over her arm and headed out the door. Her voice drifted back as she descended the stairs. “This is why you need a steady boyfriend.”
Courtney followed. “Even if I had a boyfriend, I would still get mushy about when you were a little girl.”
“But if you had a boyfriend, and please let Mr. B be the one, I wou
ldn’t have to feel bad when you get all freaked out about me growing up.”
She made a mental note to edit the mush and not let this child see how much the growing up too fast was killing her. She just loved this kid to the moon and back and wanted her to always know. Was that really so bad?
Ava dropped her bag by the front door. “When is Mr. B getting here anyway?”
“Soon.”
“What are you making him for dinner?”
“Chicken with mushroom sauce over rice. Salad. Fruit for dessert. I made everything last night and just have to reheat.”
“Yum. It’s good. He’ll like that. It’s one of my favorites.”
“I made plenty,” Courtney said. “You could stay home. Skip girls’ night.” Then she kicked herself for not editing the mush. “Kidding, kiddo. Who’s picking you up?”
“Lexi and her mom are coming by since I’m right on the way to Becca’s. She’ll text when they get here.”
“Okay.”
There was a knock on the door, and Courtney jumped. She’d been distracted, but that didn’t stop Gabe nerves from being on high alert.
“I’ll get it.” Ava was standing at the bottom of the stairs, steps from the door. She turned the knob, pulled it open, and there he stood with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine. “Hey, Mr. B. Come on in.”
“Thanks. Is your mom—” He walked in and saw her standing there. “Oh, hi. You look pretty.”
“You don’t have to say that just because we’re—”
“Mom,” Ava said, “just accept a compliment gracefully.”
“That’s what I always tell you,” she acknowledged. But he wasn’t really a candidate for boyfriend and shouldn’t feel obligated to tell her she looked nice. The words had almost slipped out and would have blown their cover. Instead she said, “Thanks, Gabe. You look nice, too.”
“Oh, this old thing?” He looked down at his jeans, pullover sweater and brown leather jacket.
Courtney laughed. Leave it to him to lighten the moment. “And flowers, too, just like a real—”
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