There was a bad taste in my mouth, and a hasty sip of milkshake didn’t chase it away. It tasted like I had motor oil on my tongue and I tried not to gag.
“Whaddya think, Lace?” Crystal asked again, and I realized that everyone was staring at me. One of Charlotte’s fries was sinking into the quicksand of her milkshake as they waited for me to reply. I’d always been the most enthusiastic about all of this stuff.
Amateur urban witches.
It was all fun and games until someone accidentally summoned a goddess and got herself a case of immortality.
“We could do it at your place if you want, I know you’ve got a new job with weird hours...”
“No. No, no, no... thanks... um,” I started, pushing my untouched fries away. “I don’t do that kind of... stuff anymore.”
“Wait. What kind of stuff? Wine... or tarot cards.” Vy’s bright green eyebrow was raised quizzically and Charlotte was staring at me strangely. I may as well have just told them what had actually happened to me.
“Um. Neither. I’m on a new... cleanse,” I finished awkwardly.
“What kind of cleanse? The No Fun Diet? Geez, Lace. I don’t want to tell you not to go back to Florida for holidays, but it’s not a very healthy place, all the vibrations are wrong there.” Charlotte folded her arms over her chest and leaned back against the peeling vinyl of the booth cushions.
“Yeah, vibrations,” Vy agreed softly.
“Look, guys, it’s fine. If Lacey doesn’t want to play, she doesn’t have to play. We can figure out something else—“
“It’s okay. Thanks, but I have to go. I have to go to work and check in with my boss,” I stood up from my seat, painfully aware of every single move that I was making, and hoping that the glasses I had taken to wearing when I went out were hiding the moonshine on my eyes.
“You have to go?” Crystal’s question was plaintive, and I felt a small tug of guilt.
“Yeah, duty calls... and I don’t know what my shifts are this week, it would be awkward if I just didn’t show up.”
“Hm. Awkward, yeah I get it.”
She got it all right. No points to me for subtlety.
“I’ll text you later, okay?”
I didn’t wait for them to reply, I just waved hurriedly, threw a few crumpled dollar bills on the table and high-tailed it for the exit.
Me and my experiments.
You’d think I would have learned my lesson by now.
2
Lacey
Lacey! Hey! Come on!”
I didn’t turn to see which one of the girls was shouting after me. It wouldn’t matter. I couldn’t go back and sit at that booth and pretend to be something I wasn’t. My eyelashes prickled with tears and I rubbed them away furiously.
“Stupid,” I muttered.
I couldn’t tell Fee about this either, she’d just raise her eyebrow and ask if I’d learned anything. Of course I had, but it wasn’t something I was happy about. Eli had been nagging me for weeks to try to focus on what was ahead instead of what I’d left behind. ‘If you play your cards right, you’ve got eternity in your favor… that has to mean more than whatever you used to do after work, right?’ I hadn’t known how to respond to that. I had a better idea about it now, but the word eternity wasn’t sitting right in my brain. What was eternity anyway?
I stared down at my boots as I walked. I didn’t really think about where I was going, but I knew I’d end up at Spiral eventually. The club had something about it. A pull I couldn’t ignore.
I should ask Eli how he did that… How do you forget about the past, weren’t you the person (Laudan?) you were because of the past? How could I just let that all slide away? But maybe that was the only way to survive.
Eli didn’t talk about what he’d done before he had met Bishop; Fee had over 330 years behind her heels, and she never talked about it either.
I rounded a corner and dodged a man in a dark coat, who almost knocked me over as he went. I crashed into a newspaper stand, knocking a few glossy magazines to the ground. The owner shouted at the man while I bent to pick up the fallen merchandise. Eli’s face glowered at me from the cover of a guitar magazine, Meridian lurked over his shoulder, and his pale eyes chilled me. I didn’t like M.A.D’s guitarist… there was something about him that I didn’t trust.
It hit me then that Mutually Assured Destruction was huge, a bigger deal than I was willing to admit. It seemed ridiculous that my best friend was dating the lead singer of the biggest punk band in the country. Eli didn’t seem to think it was a big deal, but I knew better. The crowds at Spiral every weekend told a different story, and hearing his voice on the radio tonight and seeing him on the magazine cover had confirmed it. I didn’t understand why he wanted to hide from all of that.
Well, maybe I did. I set the magazine back on the rack and shoved my hands into my pockets again.
Spiral was close; and I could feel the thudding beat of whatever the DJ that Bishop had flown in was playing rumbling up through the concrete and into the soles of my boots.
I paused for a moment, savoring the vibration in my feet before marching onwards. I didn’t take my new ‘sensitivities’ for granted. When I’d told Eli about them, he hadn’t really known how to explain all of them either. It frustrated me to remember it now.
“Why can I smell you? I knew you were here before I opened the door.” I’d asked him one night.
“Smell me? Are you sure you didn’t just hear me talking?” He’d seemed wierded out by it at first, but I was firm.
“No. I can definitely smell you. It’s not cologne, it’s not your hair goop… it’s just something different. You don’t smell like a human, or like Fee and Maia.”
“You can’t smell me!” Maia had shouted incredulously. “I had a shower like half an hour ago. I smell great.”
“No… you don’t understand. You don’t smell gross or anything, you just… don’t smell like everyone else.” It was frustrating to try to explain it, and I eventually gave up. But it was there.
Eli was cautious in his approach to how I was easing into my new immortality, and I wondered who had explained everything to him, or if they’d bothered. “It’s different for everyone,” he’d said with a shrug. “You’re off the hook, Maia. I can’t smell anything on you except shampoo.” Maia crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me.
“What else can you smell?” She’d asked a little testily. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that, because it wasn’t like I knew what was hitting my nose every time I went outside.
“Um… well, Fee’s chamomile plant is ready to harvest; the blossoms are just about to start wilting. And someone overwatered the lavender pot…”
Ophelia glared at Maia and went into the kitchen to check on her herbs. “She’s right about the lavender,” Ophelia said shortly and Maia looked a little chagrined.
“I don’t know what it is,” I said, trying to shrug away my disappointment in my mentor. “Maybe it’ll go away.”
“It might. When I was first turned, I could hear everything, rats scratching in the garbage down the street; whispered conversations from the apartment down the hall… I thought I was going crazy.” Eli shook his head as though he were remembering something unpleasant. “It doesn’t bother me as much now, maybe it’ll fade when you get older.”
I’d made a face when he said that. Before Halloween, the thought of turning 25 had been bothering me, and don’t even get me started on the horror of 30… but now that I had eternity in front of me, it all seemed a little pointless. Aging wasn’t even something I’d have to worry about anymore. All those little things that had given me sleepless nights and all of those night creams and anti-aging products I’d spent so much money on… poof.
“Don’t worry about it, Lace, it’s not like there’s a manual or anything.” Maia was trying to be sympathetic, and out of everyone in the apartment that was staring at me, she was the only one who could even come close to understanding what I was going
through. Eli seemed to be doing his best to take his own advice.
I shook the memory away and focused on putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe forgetting was the best option. Everything else was too painful.
Church was standing in his usual spot in front of Spiral’s bright red door. One way in, one way out.
Just like hell.
“What are you doing here?” the bouncer growled at me.
“Nice to see you too,” I snapped, unhooking the velvet rope from its stanchion so I could go down the stairs.
“Bishop was looking for you, I think he knew you were coming,” Church said just as sharply. I paused on the top stair for a moment.
“What did he say?” I had to shout over the music that pounded up the stairs, but Church seemed to be able to hear me just fine. He probably could have heard me if I’d whispered it.
“Nobody tells me anything,” he replied, crossing his arms and turning back to look at the line of people waiting to get in.
I frowned and grabbed the railing. I would never go down these stairs without holding on to something sturdy. My childhood fear of falling down stairs and breaking my neck should go on the ‘forget about it’ pile right alongside NoMoes’ fries and chocolate shakes, but I couldn’t shake it. Damn those old habits…
* * *
Spiral was full, but since M.A.D’s album release, no matter what was on stage, every night was packed. Word had gotten around that the band hung out at the club almost exclusively, so a good portion of the people in the crowd were groupies trying to catch a glimpse of Meridian, Grady or Shade. Bishop didn’t care why they were there, as long as they drank and filled the dance floor.
The club looked like shit. I’m sure the people who crowded in every night thought it was gothic and edgy. But I was pretty sure every piece of art screwed into the walls had come from a big box store, and that every candelabra had been spray-painted black and picked up on the sale racks after Halloween.
I should know; my apartment had been full of the same stuff. Brocade curtains, velvet seats; everything was a fire hazard but Bishop had every authority in the city so well paid off that it didn’t matter. There were no noise complaints, no fire marshal visits, no liquor inspectors… the perfect place to do business, and the perfect cover for everything Bishop had his hands in. I guess there was something to be said for hiding in plain sight.
The DJ’s music pulsed through my body as I descended into Spiral. I’ll give it to Bishop, when it came to music, he knew talent when he heard it. I plunged into the crowd and began to move with the beat. I wasn’t the best dancer in the world, but I knew how to fake it well enough.
The DJ was Laudan; I could smell that right away. There were others scattered through the crowd. Some feeding in dark corners, others beginning to woo their prey.
I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me. It was like this every night. The humans came for the music and sometimes the drugs.
The Laudans came for the humans.
Eli told me about the feeding floor before I started my first shift behind the bar. “Don’t freak out,” he’d said in a tone that of course made me freak out immediately. “Bishop’s been doing this for years, even before Spiral was a thing. The humans come for the entertainment, and we get to feed without being caught and winding up in jail or the tabloids. If you’re smart, you’ll do your feeding here.”
Landing in jail for assault and biting didn’t sound like the best thing ever, so all I could do was nod and try my best to think about something else when I got hungry.
“You don’t have to drain them. This isn’t the movies. Just take enough to shut your stomach up… and don’t get blood everywhere.”
That was it… Eli had left me to figure everything else out for myself, which was probably for the best. No human was going to stand still while I was coached into biting them properly.
It had taken me a little longer than I’d expected to get over the whole… biting part.
“I’m used to seeing you behind the bar,” a voice said in my ear. I turned around quickly and looked up (way up) at a tall guy who could have been Eli’s clone, except that his hair was acid green and he didn’t seem like the brooding type. I could smell alcohol on him, but it wasn’t overpowering. I’d made this mistake of feeding on a drunk girl one night and had spent a few hours lying on the floor in Bishop’s office with the room spinning around me. That was not happening again.
“Do I know you?” I asked, knowing that I didn’t. The guy grimaced.
“I shouldn’t expect you to remember me, but I’m here all the time. Vodka on the rocks…”
I shrugged but didn’t move away when he put his hands on my hips. “This isn’t exactly a slow song,” I said, my eyebrow rising just a little.
“Does it need to be?”
I shrugged again and let him step closer. I pushed my glasses up into my hair, and looked into my dance partner’s dark eyes. This was all part of it, the ‘seduction,’ but without actual seducing… well, I didn’t seduce anyone.
But this was what all those vampire books were written about. Something about being Laudan amplified the sexuality that rippled underneath everything we did as humans. It was a manipulation tool more than anything, and the humans were easy to sway. The guy with green hair was no exception, and he smiled as I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck and draw him down towards me.
The first time I’d fed at Spiral I’d been a nervous wreck. I’d waited too long, and I was shaking and clammy, my stomach tying itself in knots. I couldn’t sleep, and that was what bothered me more than anything.
“Don’t starve yourself,” Eli had warned me. “You won’t like what happens, it’s easier to give in. Don’t think about it too much. You need to eat. All they need to do is stand still and go eat a burger afterwards. That’s how much it matters, so if you’re having some existential crisis, just forget about it.”
Eli’s advice wasn’t always good, but knowing that I wasn’t doing anything horrible to the people I fed on helped a lot. More than I’d expected, really.
It’s like stealing someone else’s fries. It’s only a big deal if you get caught, and even then, it’s not really a big deal. They’re just fries.
I smiled and opened my mouth as the vein in his neck pulsed tantalizingly. I sank my teeth into his neck and sighed as the hot blood flowed into my mouth.
Willing donors always tasted better.
He wouldn’t remember a thing when I was finished with him, and a quick press of my lips over the wound would heal it instantly. He could be set free to mix with the crowd once again, no worse for wear and with no real memory of me, which was just the way it should be.
Kiss and don’t tell.
The acid haired young man wandered away, a dazed smile on his lips, and I allowed myself to relax just a little. I wasn’t hungry any more, but I didn’t really feel any better.
“Mala ljubav.”
Little darling.
The words floated through the music and wound themselves into my brain. Meridian.
I could see him through the crowd, leaning against a pillar. He pushed back his long pale hair and smiled at me, showing his sharp teeth as he did so. I pulled my glasses down from my head and wiped my mouth with my fingers.
Bishop was waiting for me.
3
Maia
It was bad enough having one depressed vampire in my apartment, and I sure as shit didn’t sign up to host a second.”
Ophelia was mad. Well, maybe mad was the wrong way to describe it, but even though I hadn’t known her for very long, I definitely knew when she was pissed off.
The witchmark just above my elbow burned and I could hear her voice from where I sat on the fire escape. Not to mention the purple glow coming through the windows… dead giveaway. Whatever Eli was trying to argue with her about, it was not going to go his way.
“You’re not spending enough time with her!”
I knew they were talking a
bout Lacey, that much was obvious, and Ophelia had a point there. Eli had been really absent lately, and when he had been here, he was usually talking to me about music. A twinge of guilt accompanied that last thought. I’d been taking up a lot of his time, but he never discouraged me, so I didn’t notice.
I was obviously really shitty at this friendship thing.
“But she asks too many questions…”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Of course she’s asking questions. Newsflash, you’re the only one who can answer them.”
“But—“
“But nothing, buddy. Isn’t that a Laudan thing? Only the one who turned you can teach you.”
Pardon me, whatnow? I leaned around the fire escape to get a better look into the kitchen. Ophelia was pacing and gesturing sharply with her hands. Hands that glowed with purple fire. I need to figure out how to do that.
Fire hands: Lesson 7 in Intimidation 101.
I should have been taking notes.
“Lower your voice,” Eli growled. He was leaning against the kitchen table, dressed in his signature black, his tattooed arms crossed over his chest. His hair obscured his expression, but it didn’t take a psychologist to know that he was not enjoying this conversation.
“Tell me to be quiet one more time and I’ll leave you on the fire escape to watch the sunrise,” Ophelia snapped. “You have to pay more attention to Lacey. It’s been more than six months and she seems… poutier than usual.”
Eli sighed and pushed his hair back from his face. His eyes reflected Ophelia’s purple fire as he glared at her.
“Look, the album did better than Bishop expected. He’s trying to talk us into a tour, but Meridian won’t do it unless Grady signs his contract…” Ophelia waited for him to continue, her fingers flexing with the pulse of her magic. “It’s just not a good time,” he finally blurted out.
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