“Thank you!” He couldn’t stop the huge smile. “I’ll aim to do right by the firm. Thank you for the opportunity.”
“And thank you for all your hard work. Now go on. We’ll talk again later.”
Julian floated out of Timothy’s office. Holy shit. A promotion. A fucking raise! Visions of the Martin M-38 guitar swam before him, making him salivate. Been eyeing that baby. Now… maybe…. Of course, what good would the guitar be if he never had time to play it? But he’d make time, right? He’d just be more organized, plan his time better—Talk to Zachary.
Oh fuck. Zachary. He raced toward the cubicles nearest Brian’s office.
Zachary wasn’t there. Brian caught his eye and beckoned him in. “Tim talk to you?”
“Yeah. Thanks, man. I don’t even know what to say.”
“You deserve it. ’Sides I’m tired of playing babysitter to your motley group. Better off with you keeping them under control. You do realize that Jack comes along with this deal?” Brian laughed. Poor Jack had some issues, but Julian thought he could mentor him. Maybe teach him some simple organization skills. A sound outside Brian’s office made him look up.
Zachary.
He was standing outside his cubicle, head ducked down, talking to fellow paralegal Kat. Her blonde hair twirled around her shoulders and her hands wrote on her legal pad animatedly as she explained something. Zachary’s tongue snaked out and peeked between his lips in that concentrated look he got. His hair had gotten long again and floated around his neck in swirly ebony waves. In the year since they’d started dating, Zachary had gotten even more fit. Broad shoulders filled out his suit jacket, narrowing down to his slim hips. Julian loved Zachary’s hips, loved the little dip where they met his upper thighs, loved holding on to the muscles there and sucking until the blood pooled under the surface and….
“Julian. Jules.”
A voice penetrated his daze. “Um, yeah?”
“You’re doing it again.”
“Brian?”
“Go tell him your news.”
Shit. The promotion. He raced to Zachary. Kat looked at him with a grin. It had taken an apology or two to get her past his initial deception to Zachary, but for some time now she’d been firmly on their side. In fact, the shriek she’d given when Zachary had announced their engagement was likely heard all the way to the White House.
“Hey, Jules.” Zachary’s eyes met his. Damn, he looked good in that suit, one of Julian’s favorites. Of course, he looked even better out of the suit. That thought made him warm. Or maybe the air-conditioning was failing? It seemed to keep doing that. Oh. Brown was twinkling through behind the blue of Zachary’s irises. How cool was that? All Zachary had done was tilt his head a little and the whole palette changed.
“Christ, you two are sickening,” Kat said, but her voice was wistful rather than angry.
“What?” they both said at the same time, turning to Kat.
She giggled. “Nothing. I’m going back to work. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she said, spinning away. Then she stopped and turned back. “On second thought, do everything I wouldn’t do. Someone should be happy.”
Julian threw a puzzled glance at Zachary. It wouldn’t be easy managing this odd bunch. He grabbed Zachary’s hand. “C’mon.”
“Where are we going?”
“Coffee break.”
Zachary’s eyebrows rose as Julian pulled him past the pantry and toward the main exit. “Not here. Starbucks down the street.”
“Okay,” Zachary said, clearly curious.
They never made it to the Starbucks. Julian yanked Zachary into a side corridor leading to the service entrance for the building. It was deserted. They’d come here other times when they sought some measure of privacy. He had Zachary up against the wall and pulled down his head to meet his lips. Not like there was much resistance. Nothing in the world was better than Zachary’s lips pressing against his, his tongue rolling around his in a heated duet. Zachary nipped on Julian’s lower lip in that way that drove Julian mad.
He gulped in air to attempt to calm himself. “Baby, get us dinner reservations at that steak house with the trailer-sized steaks. Prepare to gorge yourself.”
“Jules?”
“I got promoted. Meet your new boss.”
“What?”
“Manager. Head of the paralegal team.”
“Oh my God! That’s fantastic.” Zachary swung him off his feet in a swirl.
“Zach! For fuck’s sake, put me down.” But he couldn’t help the giggle from escaping.
Their lips locked again. “I’m so proud of you,” Zachary breathed in his ear. “Love you so much.” He paused, fidgeted. “Maybe now we can get serious with the wedding planning?”
Julian met a dark brown stare. He knew that color meant worry, and he couldn’t have that. Not ever. He swallowed down his fears. “Of course.”
Zachary’s whoop echoed loudly. And Julian couldn’t feel anything other than happy. Gabe was right. Being happy was a really good idea. He let it fill him, captivated by the rippling blue glow in Zachary’s beautiful eyes. Right now—this second—nothing could ruin this feeling.
Zachary grinned down at him. “Well, if we’re planning a wedding, I guess it’s long past time I took you home to meet my family.”
JULIAN SQUEEZED Zachary’s hand and chuckled. Julian wasn’t used to someone else being more neurotic about something than he was. Much less it being Zachary.
Zachary turned to him with a twisted look, face pale. “You think this is funny?”
“Um. A little?”
The plane shook and the squeeze to Julian’s hand got painful.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“You’ve been saying that all flight.”
“Because it’s been a very noneventful flight.” Julian paused. “Best kind if you think about it.”
“I hate flying.”
“I know.”
“We could have driven.”
“Zach….”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You said yourself this is the most efficient way to go home.”
Not that Julian was really in a hurry. He’d been fine with Zachary’s fear of flying, which in turn had let Julian procrastinate meeting Zachary’s family since before they’d even moved in together.
Tyler broke up with him rather than come out to his family. David’s family was scattered all over, and he’d said they could be “picky.” Spenser had introduced him to his mom. He shook that memory away. The woman would have given Mrs. Robinson herself a run for her money. He shuddered.
“You okay?”
Julian turned to Zachary. “I’m peachy. Seems smoother now. Feeling better? Because I think I might be losing feeling in my hand.”
Zachary let go quickly. “’M sorry.”
A little ding went off, and the copilot spoke about the conditions for the rest of the flight.
“See, smooth flying the rest of the wuh—” The plane bucked before Julian got his sentence out. Damn. Zachary’s grip was back to viselike. He looked back at Zachary, intending to joke it away again. But Zachary turned to him, and he looked scared. Julian’s heart roared like the plane’s engine. He loosened his seat belt and twisted around so that he could reach Zachary better.
“What are you—? The sign says to keep your seat belt on.”
“It’s on. I’m fine, not going anywhere. Look at me.”
Zachary protested some more before finally settling his gaze back on Julian. Julian pointed to his face. “Right here, Zach.”
He waited until he saw Zachary’s hazel stare latch on tight. Let himself feel the colors swirling in his lover’s eyes, feel the heat and the passion, the caring. The love. It moved between them like a wire, bending but never breaking. He looked for a long moment. Then bent in for a small kiss. “We good?”
Zachary pressed his lips against his, dry and warm. He brushed his mouth to Julian’s ear. “I love you.”
/> Julian allowed himself one more barely there kiss before sitting back. He took Zachary’s hand again. Zachary squirmed a little, trying to pull it away. “I was squeezing too hard.”
“No. No such thing. Not letting go till we land.”
Zachary smiled at him, eyes calmer. “Jules?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t let go, ever. Okay?”
Julian squeezed his lover’s hand, not quite sure how he ever got this lucky but for once just going with it.
MR. FIERRO stood at the doorway, practically grazing the top with his head. Looking Julian over, he loomed imposingly, with solid muscles that would put younger men to shame. Julian took a deep breath and put his hand out, praying his voice would stay steady. “Good to meet you, sir.”
“Call me Geraldo.”
Julian nodded but didn’t say anything. Zachary’s mom, Caitlin, didn’t need to duck in order to come out and say hi, but what she lacked in height, she made up for with energy as Julian found himself wrapped in a hug that rivaled her husband’s handshake. They were different sides of the moon: Caitlin fair and ash-blonde, her husband dark with hair like black granite marbled with silver-white.
The artist side of Julian approved of their yin-yang dynamic. Caitlin’s bright blue eyes twinkled as her lips curved up broadly. “You’ve made my boy happy,” she said, as if this was the revelation to the mystery of life.
“It’s mutual,” he answered easily.
On the ride from the airport, he’d asked Zachary what he should say.
“About what?” Zachary had asked.
“About everything.”
Zachary had laughed. “Jules. Be yourself.” Then he’d paused. “Say the truth.”
They hadn’t gotten past their front entrance, but Julian already noted Zachary’s mother seemed inordinately pleased, her face practically glowing. Maybe Zachary had been right; maybe it would really be this easy and all he had to do was be truthful.
A tall, pretty girl came bounding down the stairs and flew into Zachary’s arms. Julian didn’t have to be introduced to know this was Bree, Zachary’s younger sister. She shared his beautiful hazel eyes. Upon parting from her brother, her gaze settled on him, traveling up and down his body long enough for him to feel heat crawl up from his neck to his forehead.
“Well, you hooked yourself un guapo, hermanito.”
Julian looked down at his feet. Zachary leaned in and whispered in his ear, “She thinks you’re a hottie.” The blush must be reaching beet red now. Zachary wrapped his arm around his shoulder and kissed his temple briskly. “Yeah. Well, back off, Bree. He’s all mine.” The words had no bite, and soon the siblings were giggling like teenagers.
Mrs. Fierro—Caitlin—took pity on Julian and pulled on his arm. “Stop it, you two.” She turned to Julian. “Come, dear. I’ll show you to Zachary’s room.”
On the stairs, Julian asked Caitlin, “How come she calls him hermanito? That means little brother, right? But I thought she’s the youngest?”
Caitlin laughed. “Yes. Bree’s two years younger. There was a time, though, when he was eight and she was six that she had a growth spurt and got taller than him. It started then and, well, it just stuck.”
Julian chuckled and filed this away for future torture.
Before leaving Julian alone, Caitlin pointed out an empty drawer he could use for his clothes. Julian really appreciated that little courtesy as he hated living out of his suitcase. He’d just finished putting his clothes away and was debating if he should just also unpack for Zachary when strong hands surrounded him from behind. Recognizing Zachary’s spicy, sweet cologne, he leaned back into firm warmth.
“Sis got that right, hottest man on the planet.”
Julian snorted. “Why stop there? Someone hotter than me on Mars?”
Zachary turned him around slowly. He looked like he was about to tease further, but their eyes met. They stopped talking after that. Zachary finally blinked. “I always thought you were gorgeous.”
“What?”
“From the first moment I saw you.”
“You brought me coffee and muffins.”
Zachary’s lips curved up sweetly, voice going soft. “Yeah. I did.”
He reached up to pull Zachary down to his lips. They kissed slow and lazy. Kissing Zachary was like making snow angels, soft and fluid and heavenly. “I love you,” he whispered into Zachary’s mouth. It was so quiet he wasn’t sure Zachary heard him.
Julian didn’t say the words as often as Zachary did. He’d told himself that he’d not say it unless he meant it—would never make the words routine. Not that he didn’t love Zachary all the time. It was just that sometimes it couldn’t be contained. And the way Zachary would look at him when he let it out.
Yeah. Like that… was better than anything.
BY DAY two of their long-weekend trip, Julian decided that the visit was going remarkably well and that he’d been a ninny for worrying. Zachary’s family was as open and friendly as Zachary. All huge smiles and easy jokes. They were patient with him, and often he’d catch them giving him small indulgent grins that reminded him so much of Zachary. He felt it easy to open up a bit. Well. As much as he could. It was hard to shake that need for privacy.
“So you sing?” Bree asked him. Julian had ended up with Zachary’s younger sister ensconced on the giant sectional of the family room. Caitlin was in the kitchen working on their next meal, and Geraldo had asked to speak privately with Zachary. Julian praised himself for not reading anything insane into that. This getting-used-to-change thing was turning out easier than he thought.
Julian blanched. “Mostly I write songs. Sometimes my buddies…. They have a band, um, The Last Cowboys. They have me come up on stage with them.”
Her face brightened. “Would you play for us?”
“I didn’t bring my guitar.”
She pouted. It was so similar to Zachary’s pout that it forced a fond grin out of him despite the uncomfortable topic. She narrowed her eyes. “What if I told you I had a guitar?”
He gulped. “Um. I don’t—”
She burst into giggles. “Relax. The whole family’s tone deaf. Nobody plays anything. Zach didn’t tell you that?”
Come to think of it, Zachary had shared that.
Loud voices startled the rest of his thoughts away. In the day and a half he’d been here, nobody had raised their voice in anger. He met Bree’s equally surprised stare.
“No! No way. I don’t care how far they’ve driven. I’m not sending my boyfriend away because your homophobic brother can’t deal.”
Zachary appeared in the family room entranceway, his parents trailing behind. Nobody noticed Julian and Bree sitting toward the back of the large room.
Geraldo’s voice deepened. “Your Tió Juan is trying, Zacariás. He and Pamela coming here are proof of that. He’s coming all this way to see you. They are making this effort, so why rub their faces in—”
“In what? What are you going to say? My depraved love life? Christ, Dad, this is the man I’m going to marry. I can’t believe we are even having this conversation.”
“I wasn’t going to say—”
“No. You were just going to send Julian away and pretend he doesn’t exist so as not to hurt Tió Juan’s delicate sensibilities!”
“You’re exaggerating. It’s just for one night. And I said I’d pay for the hotel. Es tu tió y padrino. You were so close for so long.”
“Yeah, he was my uncle and godfather until he couldn’t accept who I am.”
“He’s trying.”
Bree coughed and Zachary and his parents turned suddenly toward them. Zachary visibly paled and almost staggered. “Jules. Oh God. I didn’t mean for you to—it’s not…. I’m sorry.”
“Zachary, it’s okay. I get it. I don’t want to get in the middle of things. I’ll move to a hotel. It’s fine. Really. Mr. Fierro, I’m sorry I caused difficulty in your family. I’ll get my things and—”
Zachary took another
stumbling step toward him. “Julian. No.”
Julian turned quickly and went out the back entrance of the family room, through the kitchen, his heart pounding. The last thing he wanted was to make Zachary have to choose between him and his family. Zachary had never said anyone in his family had issues with his being gay. He’d been vague at times, but Julian hadn’t realized. He was lucky himself that his family had acted like his coming out was yesterday’s news. Frankly, no one cared about it. If anything they were more bothered by how annoying Julian could be. But he didn’t know how to do anything about that. This he could do something about.
He could leave and stop causing trouble.
Raised voices reached him as he approached the steps leading up to the bedroom. A cacophony of anger, hurt, desperation. Zachary was furious. Julian had never heard him rage like that. God. He was screwing up his boyfriend’s life. Zachary had this wonderful, close family. It had been clear how much they adored each other. And now…. He shouldn’t have come, was a mistake. Forget the hotel. He needed to book a flight and head home.
He’d just started to repack his suitcase when he realized he wasn’t alone.
“You’re leaving?”
“Zachary, it’s for the best. You should be able to visit with your family without upsetting everyone. I understand.”
“I’m so sorry, Jules. I, I can’t believe they…. Of course, you want to leave. Why shouldn’t you?”
“No. That’s not it. I want you to be able to visit with your family. Don’t want to cause trouble.”
Moisture pooled on Zachary’s lower lids. “You think… you think I could possibly stay after…?”
The pain in his lover’s eyes was too much. He pulled Zachary into a hard hug and was instantly squeezed back so tight, breathing was tough. “I’m sorry,” Zachary whispered in his ear. “So sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
He urged Zachary to sit on the bed and shifted to face him. “I think it’s time you told me about your Uncle Juan.”
Zachary turned a wet gaze back to him. “He’s my father’s younger brother. They lived a few houses down when we were growing up. I spent as much time with him and my Aunt Pam as I did at home. My cousins, Jaime and Maria, were my best friends. We did everything together. Especially Jaime, he was younger than me by, like, five months. We went to school together every day. Hung out after school. Everything that happened I told Jaime first.”
The Music of Love Page 12