He put his free time to good use. Tried to make life easier for Zachary by taking care of household things. Worked on his songs. And planned a wedding. He brought up the idea of Texas over homemade tacos. Well, partly homemade, since the shells came out of a box. But it was the thought that counted. “But you wanted it here, Jules. We went over that already.”
“I know I said that.” He studied Zachary’s anxious look across the dining table and knew he was making the right call. “Bride’s prerogative to change m’ mind, right?”
Zachary’s eyes glowed like a hundred candles. “Yeah? You’d—you’d be okay with that? We could find a small chapel. Or outside? Under the—”
“Blue Texan sky?”
Zachary blushed. “I know it’s hokey.”
“Yeah. It is. But it’s you. It’s us. Let’s do it.”
Julian’s parents had been attending a Unitarian church in his hometown for a while. They connected them with the pastor who understood what they wanted. Zachary’s immediate family was all aboard with this.
About a week before the wedding, lying in bed, spent and happy and resting into each other in that way that let them both just breathe, Julian said, “You know, when you graduate… we don’t have to stay here.”
“What?”
Julian resisted repeating the word and pushed the conversation forward. “I can teach anywhere. I can write my songs anywhere.” He turned so he could see Zachary’s face. “Anywhere you are.”
Zachary’s brow rose. “You’re talking about moving home?”
“I’m talking about moving. Home is wherever you are.”
Zachary stuttered, “I… wow. We’ll have to think about that. I got used to it here. But you’re right. It never totally felt like home. But….” Zachary’s eyes grew sad.
“’S legal everywhere,” Julian said with some puzzlement because he wasn’t sure what Zachary was looking upset about.
“Yeah, sure. But it’s still Texas. It’s so much more liberal here.”
Ah. That particular aspect of Texas was the issue. “Homophobes are everywhere. You know that, and Texas is a big state. We could pick a good place for us, Austin, maybe. ’Sides, nobody is gonna mess with a hotshot lawyer like you,” he teased before stressing once more a little singsong. “Also, married.”
“True,” Zachary replied, smiling this time.
Curled on his side, Zachary stared at him for a while. Was what they did. After an eternity he said, “That license is important.” His face mellowed. “Before it was legal, one’s lifelong partner wasn’t even allowed a hospital visit.” He continued deadpan, “At least now I can rest easy knowing you’ll get to decide when to pull the plug.”
Julian knew Zachary was partly joking, but he couldn’t think about things like that. He shut his eyes. “I couldn’t, you know. Maybe… maybe it should be someone else.”
Zachary held his hand to Julian’s and pulled him closer, arms tightening. “I know. Me neither. But I couldn’t trust my life to anyone else.”
Julian nodded before pressing his lips to Zachary’s. “I love you.”
“Well that’s a dang good thing since we’re getting married in a week.” Zachary nipped his bottom lip. “You’re really marrying me.”
“Absolutely.”
THE LAST week before the wedding flew in a whirl of packing. Organizing. Over-the-top freak-outs. Typical Julian stuff.
He was on the phone with his mother. Really, she’d been great, had done all the on-the-ground organizing for Julian. But Julian could be particular.
“They were supposed to be plum.”
“They’re violet. It’s very close.”
“It’s not close. It’s freaking rainbow bright is what it is.”
His mother sighed. “Well, sweetheart….”
“No. I know I’m gay. But that doesn’t mean I want neon flowers at my wedding. Plum. How hard is it?”
Finally he managed to get the florist to agree to spray-paint the damn flowers if necessary. He was promised they wouldn’t glow. A man had to draw the line somewhere.
Zachary’s sister, Bree, called the day before they were supposed to leave. Julian had just been on the phone with the caterer for the past hour and thought that maybe they were calling back, so he answered with an abrupt “Now what?”
“Um, Julian, do you have a minute?”
Julian sat taller, stomach twitching. Uh-oh. Bree sounded very serious.
“It’s about our Uncle Juan.”
“What?”
“You know how Zach decided not to invite them to the wedding?”
Julian knew. He and Zachary had spoken about that, and it had been difficult for Zachary. He missed the family he’d lost to senseless prejudice. But this was their wedding. And he’d said he couldn’t stand for a black cloud to dim it in any way. Julian said he’d respect anything Zachary wanted.
Bree was quiet, so Julian urged, “Yeah?”
“Our cousin Maria called me. She and I sort of became friends again after you guys visited. And I know Jaime hates the situation just as much. And she said that she thought if her parents got an invitation it would mean so much.”
“Bree, what did you do?” Julian’s heart was pounding.
“I didn’t think he’d come. I honestly thought the gesture would be enough and maybe it could start healing the rift.”
“Bree….”
“We got the RSVP back. It said they’re coming.”
Fuck. “Bree, Zach specifically didn’t want them there. It’s his… our day…. I know you meant well, but you shouldn’t have done that.”
“I’m so sorry. You’re right. But now maybe, it’ll be okay. I should call Zach, right? Let him know?”
Julian thought it over. Zachary would blow a fuse. He didn’t want Bree to get the brunt of that. “No, it’s okay. I’ll tell him. Don’t worry about it. Okay?”
He could hear her relief roll off her in waves. “Thanks, Jules! You’re the best. Really the best. I’m so happy Zach found you. I couldn’t imagine anyone better for my brother. Not in a million years.”
That night he helped Zachary take care of the last of his packing. Zachary was already nervous about tomorrow’s flight and was currently resorting a bag Julian thought they’d considered done. This news would not help. “Zach?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“I have to talk to you about something.”
Zachary stopped rummaging through his toiletries case. “Did you pack lube?”
“What?”
“Lube. We got?”
Julian waved it off. “Yeah. No worries.” His face grew serious. “Zach. There’s something you need to know.”
Zachary tensed and sat on the edge of the bed. “What’s wrong?”
Joining him, Julian replied quickly, “Nothing awful. Well. Please don’t wig. Bree called me.”
Zachary frowned but then took Julian’s hand. “I know.”
“Know what?”
“About my uncle.”
Julian looked confused. “My Aunt Pam called and thanked me for the invitation. Didn’t take long for me to figure out someone in my family sent it. Anyway, she said she’s coming with Maria and Jaime.”
Julian heard what Zachary wasn’t saying and pulled him into a hug. God, he hated when Zachary was hurting. Felt the pain like venom in his veins. “I’m sorry, baby.”
“She said he… he said he just couldn’t. But he told her to go. I guess that’s something, right? And Jaime called me.”
Julian looked at Zachary, surprised. “Yeah?”
“Today, to congratulate me and to let me know he was looking forward to meeting you.” Zachary’s eyes were bright now.
“I’m looking forward to meeting him and his sister. All your family. Everyone that loves you.” Julian thought that it was impossible to meet Zachary and not love him. He was worried, naturally, that all these new people would find Julian lacking. He took a deep breath. All he could do was what he was doing now: love Zachary. It w
as all he had. And it had to be enough.
“Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
“They will love you. You’re amazing and smart and beautiful.” Julian blushed. Wished Zachary would quit, it made him uncomfortable. “I don’t care. Fidget all you want. It’s true and always was. And I am the luckiest guy ever.”
“Second luckiest.”
Zachary let his dimples show. “Believe your little delusions. I’ll indulge.”
THE WEATHER cooperated. Not that it ever really got cold in Dallas, even in November. The chapel had an adjoining garden that they rented out for smaller wedding receptions.
On the morning of the wedding, Julian’s father pulled him aside and told him that the day he’d married his mother, he’d thrown up on the way to church. In the limo. Julian stared with his mouth hanging slightly open. “Just so you know, it’s not just you,” his dad concluded.
Julian managed not to vomit on the way to the chapel. Mostly because Zachary had raised the privacy divider between the driver and them, leaned down, and summarily blew him while Julian tried not to hyperventilate and die during orgasm. Would really have been embarrassing.
Just before they were about to get out of the car, Julian noted a drop of white on Zachary’s lower lip. “C’mere,” he said, licking it off. “There. Now you’re ready to get married.”
Zachary had licked his lips and stared into Julian’s soul. “You ready?”
Julian held his lover’s stare. The one constant of his life was that he could look at Zachary forever. “Yes.”
The minister read from an Apache wedding blessing.
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling, to enter into the days of your life together, and may your days be good and long upon the earth.
Zachary wiped the tear from Julian’s cheek and mumbled, “Sap.” Julian smiled and didn’t call Zachary on his own tears.
After they exchanged rings, they got lost staring. The crowd started laughing the second time the minister said they could kiss and nothing happened.
Gabe said, “It’s a good thing you found each other, ’cause you’re both nuttier than a squirrel turd.”
Julian turned to Gabe at that, completely perplexed. The minister tapped his shoulder. “You’re supposed to kiss now.”
“Oh.”
And they did.
They wanted their friends to enjoy themselves and not work, so they’d hired a DJ for music. But Gabe surprised them by playing “Something Blue” so Julian and Zachary could dance to it. Julian sang it directly into Zachary’s ear, and his dork of a husband fought back tears.
“Can’t believe you wrote that for me,” Zachary mumbled when the song ended. Zachary had pulled them to the side but kept his arms around Julian’s waist. He leaned in and touched their foreheads together. “This. You. If you knew how long I’ve wanted this, it would scare you.”
Julian pondered that. “Yeah. Probably, it would.” Zachary laughed.
Caitlin came over and Zachary was whisked away from him.
Julian didn’t mind a few moments to himself. He found a neglected table and settled into a seat. Folks were dancing, drinking, laughing. Randy and L.J. were dancing up a storm—gal really could move, Julian felt winded just watching them. His new giant brother-in-law and their Aunt Pam were huddled together talking. Zachary’s dad was dancing with someone Julian’d been introduced to but had already forgotten. Everyone looked happy. He let it flow over him and felt. Calm.
Marc approached, breaking the momentary serenity.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck.
“Hey, Marc. Having a good time?” Julian forced his voice pleasant despite the instant tremor running up his spine at Marc’s presence.
“Yeah. It’s all very nice. You did good. For Zach.”
Julian couldn’t stand the surprised tone to Marc’s voice. “I would do anything for Zachary.”
Marc met his hardening stare. “Me too.” The other man blinked. “But that’s not…. I know we, well, I, maybe didn’t give you the benefit of the doubt all the time. It’s just Zach, you know.”
Julian’s tension faded somewhat. Because he did know. He knew he’d hurt Zachary. Hell, no matter what horrible things Marc had thought about Julian, he knew he’d thought worse about himself at various times. And while Marc would never be a favorite, there was one thing he’d always appreciate.
“Marc. Thanks for taking care of Zachary when I was touring.”
Marc shook his head. “What else could I do? He was having a tough time. You’re not gonna leave him like that again, are ya?”
“No.”
Marc looked satisfied at that. They didn’t say anything further, and Marc walked away toward Sophia and Meg.
Julian stayed in his hidden corner and felt the calm return. He might never really be friends with Marc, but they both agreed on one thing. Nothing was more important than Zachary. It was as good a starting point as any.
Zachary found him a short time later. “Hey. How come you’re hiding here?”
Julian dipped his head. “Needed a breather.”
Zachary nodded. He understood. Julian stood and Zachary blocked the rest of the party with his large frame. He let himself drift into Zachary’s arms, seeking his husband’s lips. He filled the kiss with everything he felt bubbling up from his soul.
“You married me,” Zachary breathed into the space between them.
“You bet.”
“Happy?”
Julian let himself feel it through every bone, every muscle, every breath, every beat of his heart. “So happy.” He beamed up at Zachary. This was more than happiness. It was bliss.
Zachary smiled back, eyes soft and shiny. “I know it’s soon. I just… Jules, what do you think about us having a baby?”
SANDINE TOMAS grew up an unapologetic bookworm, making friends with characters from the ancient past to the farthest reaches of the universe. Her career as a marketing writer has given her insight into the divergence between what a person thinks they want and what they truly need. Relationships are at the heart of her writing, and she enjoys creating characters who become so real that their stories beg to be told. Writing allows her to explore people and ideas from all sides, spinning a notion around like a gem until its facets glisten.
Twisting the old adage about writing what you know into writing what you feel, Sandine doesn’t shy away from raw emotions, turbulent circumstances, and above all, deep passions, fueled by humor, honesty, and trust. She enjoys instilling her characters with the flaws, courage, and idiosyncrasies that brings them to life.
Sandine lives in New York with her husband and two daughters. An unabashed TV and film enthusiast, she happily binge watches her favorites until her eyes glaze over. Her other guilty pleasures include attending fandom conventions, sleeping in on weekends, and recharging solo by holing up with a caramel macchiato and an amazing book.
If you’d like to chat, reach out to her on Twitter @SandineTomas or on her Facebook Page: SandineTomas.
By Sandine Tomas
The Music of Love
Published by DREAMSPINNER PRESS
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
Published by
DREAMSPINNER PRESS
5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886 USA
www.dreamspinnerpress.com
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of author imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
The Music of Love
© 2018 Sandine Tomas.
Cover Art
© 2018 Bree Archer.
http://www.breearcher.com
Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.
All rights reserved. This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of international copyright law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. Any eBook format cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without the written permission of the Publisher, except where permitted by law. To request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press, 5032 Capital Circle SW, Suite 2, PMB# 279, Tallahassee, FL 32305-7886, USA, or www.dreamspinnerpress.com.
Digital ISBN: 978-1-64080-244-5
Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-64080-573-6
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017912379
Digital published June 2018
v. 1.0
Printed in the United States of America
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