Shaking her head, K pushed Citera back to look into her eyes. “Listen to me Citera. You didn’t kill them…you may recall some of what happened, but what you are seeing here…” Pausing, K motioned to the blood and death littering the field behind them. “That is not real. It is just your mind playing tricks on you.”
Gently wrapping one arm around her shoulders, K led Citera further away from the field of bodies and back toward the stream. “So, you didn’t kill them?”
A crooked grin twisted the edge of K’s mouth, “Oh, I killed them... with a little help. But this…” she paused raising an eyebrow, “What you are imagining… well, it’s a little more twisted than what actually took place.”
“So… I am dreaming?”
Stopping by the edge of the river, K grinned. “I would have thought the river of blood would have been your first clue.”
Frowning, Citera watched the thick liquid flowing steadily before her. “So does that mean you aren’t real either?”
“I’m as real as you are.”
“Then how is it possible you are in my dream?”
“It’s a benefit of the Link.” Turning her gaze out over the valley beyond the stream, K continued, “It’s the place between the conscious and unconscious, I like to call Haven. Somewhere we can come to communicate with one another, even if we are separated. Although it appears, in your particular case, it can also be used as a crossroad… a means of sharing one another’s abilities.”
Confused, Citera looked over at K. “So, you don’t normally have the ability to take over your Link’s body?”
K chuckled, “No. That is a skill unique to you.”
“But why me?”
“I am not totally sure, though I assume it has something to do with me feeding on your blood.”
The answer gave Citera pause. Though she couldn’t remember anything that happened that fateful day, she knew whatever it was must have been bad to make K go back on her word and feed on her blood. And as bad as she wanted to know exactly what that something was and why she couldn’t remember any of it, Citera also couldn’t help but feel that now, standing in a field full of dead men, was probably not the best time to discuss it. So instead she changed the subject. “So, if you are here in the dream world with me, does that mean you are asleep too?”
In response to her question, K released a ragged breath, “Unfortunately, yes.” She said, as her expression suddenly saddened. “Which is why I came here to warn you. My time is running out Citera. I used the last of my power to protect you from these degenerates. Now I am dangerously weak and afraid of what is going to happen to the both of us when we wake up.” Though she continued to face away from her, Citera could feel K’s despair beginning to build. Suddenly a sharp pain hit her in her core and though she tried to hide the discomfort, K must have sensed it, because just as suddenly the pain began to ease. “Sorry child, I am not doing so well at the moment and I am afraid things are only going to get worse. Despite the small amount of blood I recently received, I am not going to have enough strength to maintain the blocks once I wake up. And with you being so severely injured, I doubt you will be able to maintain yours either.”
Citera’s heart rate doubled as she recalled K’s previous warnings of how severe the Link’s withdraw pains could be, “How much time do you think we have?”
“Not much.” Was all the answer K offered. Her expression becoming serious, K turned her gaze back to Citera, “That’s why I want to ask a favor of you.”
“Of course, anything.”
“Once you’ve gone back and have had a chance to convince your father, and the others, that you are going to be alright, I want you to return to Haven and wait for me.” Confusion marred Citera’s face as K tried to answer her unspoken question and explain to her young Link why she was requesting she imprison herself in a dream state. “Here in Haven, you and I can still feel each other’s emotions, as you have noticed, much like we can on the outside.” Citera nodded slowly. “However, it is what we aren’t currently feeling, that forces me to ask this favor of you.” With a heavy sigh, K broke her gaze with Citera and faced the horizon, “Tell me child, do you recall the injuries you suffered at the hands of these men?”
“Yes.”
“Are you feeling any of that pain now?” Understanding dawned as Citera suddenly realized what K was getting at. Glancing down, she ran her hands over her head and body, searching for any signs of the pain she knew she should be feeling. “No injuries...” she whispered, mainly to herself, as she continued her search.
“Here in Haven, physical injuries and the pain associated with them do not manifest… this includes the pain associated with the Link withdraw.”
“And if I don’t feel the pain…”
“I won’t either.” K finished for her.
“But your own pain…”
“My own pain I can easily tolerate.” K interrupted, dismissing Citera’s concern as if her own pain was nothing more than an annoyance. “It is your pain, experienced through your mortal body that is truly unbearable.”
Citera remained quiet and took a moment to consider K’s request. And while she understood why K needed her to do this, it didn’t change the fact that she was the one that was going to be trapped alone in a dream world full of dead people and a river of blood. Not that the idea of suffering the unrelenting pain of their Link sounded any more appealing. Glancing over her shoulder at the blood tinged valley, Citera shuddered slightly at the thought of living here, alone, for days if not longer. “There’s just so much death here K… and I hate being alone.”
K’s stoic expression never wavered. “I can’t help with the loneliness…” she coldly remarked, then without warning, grabbed Citera by the shoulders and spun her around. “For that the only solace I can offer is my word that I will get you out of here as soon as I can.”
Gasping at the unexpected contact, Citera forced herself to remain calm under the intensity of K’s harsh blue glare. Standing this close, face to face, Citera could see the dark circles and fine lines that showed K too was beyond exhausted by this entire ordeal. “But remember Citera, the world that you see around you is a product of your own imagination. So, if you don’t like what you are seeing, change it. Perhaps by recalling a more pleasant memory of this same field.”
“Pleasant memory?” Citera huffed, “How when it feels like every time I come to this cursed place, someone I care about ends up being kidnapped or hurt.”
“There isn’t one happy moment you can think of?”
Scrunching her brow, she thought back to the few times she had visited this valley. Of all the times she and Dirik had spent frolicking through the tall grass and splashing in the stream, of their hours lying side by side talking about nothing in particular. Then, as if on que, the memory of the kiss the two of them shared came racing back to the front of her mind. Raising her gaze to tell K of her memory, Citera watched as a small grin tugged at the edges of K’s lips.
“You felt it that day, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” With a weak smile, K brushed a loose piece of hair from Citera’s face and tucked it behind her ear. “It was a welcome distraction from the despair and gloom that had descended upon me during my imprisonment.” Seeing the tears begin to well in her eyes, K sighed, “Please don’t fret. He is alive and in the capable hands of your father.”
“Is he going to be alright?” Citera sniffed.
“Only time will tell. Although I fear if he is, he will not escape this experience completely unscathed. But let’s not focus on the negative aspects of what happened and instead remember the happy moments.” Pausing, she motioned to the bank where the kiss had occurred. “Those are the ones we need to concentrate on unless you wish to return to this valley of death. Now, do as I say and close your eyes, recall the way you felt the moment when he revealed to you for the first time how he really felt about you.”
Fighting back her tears, Citera did as she was told. And with closed eyes, she conce
ntrated on trying to recall the events leading up to the Black Guards arrival; beginning with the moment they stepped foot into the valley. She remembered the way the sun warmed her skin and how the piney aroma filled her senses. Smiling she recalled the hours they had spent splashing and playing in the frigid water and how they had laid side by side on the bank trying to dry off before returning home. Her heart warmed as his face, complete with that boyish innocence that she had grown to love, flashed in her mind’s eye. And then there was the kiss. That oh so beautiful moment that even the vile men of the Black Guard had not been able to rob from her.
“That’s it. Now open your eyes.” K’s voice called her from her memory. Doing as she was told, Citera opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was the crystal blue water of the stream. Excited, she turned and looked at the valley behind her and was elated to find the blood and carnage had also disappeared, having been replaced with a sea of lush green grass and vibrant colored flowers.
Wanting to thank her, Citera turned to address K, only to find she had vanished. “K?” she called into the serene silence of the summer field, “Where are you?”
“I am still here with you.” The voice answered inside her mind, “And will always remain with you. But now it is time you and I to go back and face whatever fate the stars have in store for us.”
“K wait! I need to tell you something!” Citera shouted, spinning around as she frantically searched for her. “You need to know Jaron and the others are coming for you. They are coming to bring you back to Oasis. So… just hang in there a little longer… okay?”
“I will do what I can child… that’s the best I can promise. But for now, return to your father. He is worried and needs you. And with any luck, we will be reunited again soon.”
And just like that, Citera could feel a shift inside her as K’s spirit unclenched its cold grasp around her core and returned to wherever it had come from. With nothing left holding her to Haven, Citera turned around and slowly made her way across the open field. Only this time, when she made her way toward the path leading back to Oasis, the path did not try to escape her. Easily reaching the forest’s edge, she glanced over her shoulder one last time at the valley, and with thoughts only of her father, stepped forth onto the path and disappeared into the darkness.
*****
Rousing from the darkness, Citera’s heart leapt when the first sound to greet her ears was that of her father’s voice casually speaking to someone across the room. Though she could not make out what he was saying or who he was talking to, the overly-firm mattress beneath her, combined with the harsh scent of antiseptics, gave her confidence that she was safely inside the medical tent back in Oasis. Assuming he must be speaking with Janil or perhaps even Nina about the daily running of his clinic, Citera lay still listening to distant hum of conversation, taking comfort in the mere sound of their familiar voices. However, when she heard Dirik’s name mixed in with the bits and pieces of broken conversation, she was suddenly overwhelmed with a flood of memories.
Desperate to know exactly what they were talking about she struggled to find her voice. “Dad, where’s Dirik.” She managed to force out. Though her voice sounded dry and raspy to her own ears, she knew she had managed to catch the attention of the others when their conversation suddenly came to an abrupt halt. Clutching her scratchy throat, Citera grimaced as she continued to try and speak. “Where is he, I need to see him.”
Silence, save the sound of footsteps approaching, was all the response she got for her effort. Doing her best to ignore the pounding headache that grew worse with each passing second, Citera struggled to free herself of the darkness her painfully swollen eyes had her trapped in. But no matter how hard she tried to force them to open and reveal to her even the slightest bit of light, they refused to obey the simple command.
Growing frustrated by her lack of success, she decided to shift her efforts. Blindly fumbling around the mattress, she searched for the safety rail that ran the length of both sides of the bed and latched ahold when her hands finally came into contact with the cold metal rod. Elated at having at least achieved this minor victory, she tightened her grip and called upon every bit of strength left in her aching body to pull herself into an upright position. However, she just managed to clear her head from the softness of the down pillow when she was suddenly struck by a crippling pain that radiated down the entire left side of her body. Crying out, Citera braced the offended area and collapsed back into the bed with a jolt, whimpering as she fought to hold back the tears.
“Citera, be still.” Her father’s worried voice called to her from her side. “Your injuries are severe, you shouldn’t be trying to get up.”
Drawing in and blowing out heavy breaths, she fought down the urge to cry, not wanting to worry him anymore than he already was. “Dad, why won’t my eyes open?” she asked, somehow managing to keep her voice steady despite the agony she was currently dealing with.
Wanting to get a better idea of why her head, more specifically her eyes, were bothering her so much, Citera raised her hand to touch her face, only to have it immediately caught by her father. “Don’t,” he warned, pushing her hand back down to the bed, “Both your orbital sockets are fractured in multiple places, causing them to swell your eyes shut.” Pausing, he cleared his throat in an attempt to steady his voice. “It will only make it worse if you rub them.”
“But I want to see you dad,” Citera moaned, grimacing as a few escaping tears burned her tender eyes. “I need to see you and I need to see Dirik. Where is he? Please tell me he is alright…”
A tender hand came to rest on her upper arm, taking care not to cause her any more pain. “I’m so sorry, Citera.” Her father sobbed, leaning over the bed to rest his head against her shoulder. “It should have been me. I should have been the one watching you, instead I sent Dirik and now he’s, he’s…”
“Dad… you’re scaring me.” She cried, as memories of how Dirik last looked flooded to the front of her mind. Raising a trembling hand, she searched for her father, who gently took it and pressed it against his face. The moment her hand came in contact with the warm wetness of his tears, Citera’s anxiety instantly doubled. Fearing the worst had happened to her dear friend, Citera began sobbing uncontrollably. “Dad, I need you to tell me if Dirik is alright… please.”
“He lives…” Janil’s maternal voice answered softly from the opposite side of the bed. A deathly silence descended over the room as Janil hesitated to continue. She could almost hear the unspoken debate going on over her bed, as Janil and her father tried to decide just how much they should reveal to her.
“Please, do not hold back the truth or lie to me. No matter how bad it is, I need to know.”
Once again the looming silence surrounded her, until a heavy sigh eventually signaled Janil’s surrender. “He is alive Citera, but honestly we don’t know how. He received multiple lethal blows to his head, not to mention the ones he received to the rest of his body. There was a considerable amount of blood loss and I would venture to say more than half the bones in his body are broken.” Janil paused, as Citera’s sore body was racked with sobs yet again.
“I-it’s ok, f-finish please.”
“We have no idea why he is still alive Citera, by all counts the both of you should be dead.” Janil continued, her voice cracking under the weight of her own words. “But like you he’s strong. And while I have no idea what is giving him the strength to hold on, I pray to the stars that whatever it is, it’s enough to pull him through.”
Hearing her friend’s condition clenched Citera’s heart in her chest. “I need to see him.” Frantic she began flailing about the bed in search of the rails, ignoring the shocks of pain that coursed through her body with every tiny movement. “He needs me, just help me out of this bed and take me to him.”
“Citera, settle down.” Her father pleaded, blocking her hand from its intended target. “Even if you were strong enough to stand, which you aren’t, that still doesn’t cha
nge the fact that your eyes are swollen shut.”
Refusing to let a little thing like not being able to see stop her from assuring herself that her friend was alright, Citera continued her futile attempts to get out of the bed. “I don’t care.” She sniffed, gritting her teeth as yet another wave of pain coursed through her body. “I need to be near him… He needs to know I am here for him and that I am ok.”
“Citera, stop fighting with us or you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“I don’t care!” she shouted, slumping back into the bed. “It’s my fault this happened to him. If it wasn’t for me he wouldn’t have even been out there!” Cupping her swollen eyes in her hands, Citera’s entire body was racked with sobs as she struggled to get them to understand. “He sacrificed himself to try and save me.”
“Citera…”
“No,” she shouted, “Don’t patronize me. Every time I have ever needed him, Dirik has been there for me. And how do I repay his kindness? By being hard headed and making stupid decisions that keep landing us both in danger.”
A gentle hand came to rest upon her shoulder. “Citera, believe me we understand. But you are in no condition to help him at the moment.” Sniffing, Citera relaxed into Janil’s touch, as a stabbing pain in her side validated Janil’s point. “Let us work on you… heal your eyes and your other injuries… and once you are a little better, we will allow you be at Dirik’s side.”
Knowing she stood no chance of winning this battle, Citera nodded and surrendered her plight. Frustrated by the situation and her lack of control over it, she brought her hand to her face and flinched when her fingers came in contact with the swollen tender skin. “I wish I had some of Jarod’s red healing formula,” she pouted as she slumped back into the bed.
“Yes, well unfortunately Jarod didn’t have any with him when he arrived,” her dad sighed next to her. “And I highly doubt he is planning any trips back to the Tower to get any more.”
“Perhaps we can help.”
Forsaken (The Shadow Chronicles Book 3) Page 28