by Gary Jonas
She pointed her finger and zapped me in the ass.
“Ow!”
“Don’t piss me off,” she said. “I’m tired and cranky.”
“Seems to me they had a getaway driver,” I said.
“Let’s split up and search anyway.”
“And if we find them?” Sabrina asked.
Lakesha hesitated. “I don’t know. Follow them?”
“Wow,” I said. “We make a great investigative team.”
“Shut up,” Lakesha and Sabrina said at the same time.
“I’m just saying.”
“Shut up!”
We split up. I checked the main level of the parking garage, but didn’t find anything unusual, and found no sign of the love of my life. I leaned against a concrete pillar for a moment, then slid to a sitting position. If they were on an upper level, they’d have to drive down. Made sense to me. If they were already gone, why should I waste time walking around?
As soon as I sat down, I realized I should have looked first. Something squished against my butt. I moved to get up and saw that I’d planted myself on a piece of bubble gum.
“Oh, man,” I said.
I tried pulling it off the seat of my pants. My fingers got sticky, and gum got caked under my fingernails.
This wasn’t working.
I took off my shorts. I wasn’t going commando or anything, so it wasn’t a big deal. I stood there in my boxer briefs and tried to get the gum off my shorts.
I was still working on it when Sabrina found me.
“What the hell are you doing?”
I held up my shorts. “Some jerk spit out their gum on the ground.”
“So you thought you’d sit down on the job?”
“I was watching for them.”
“You were planning to take a nap.”
“I was just going to rest. There’s a difference.”
Lakesha wandered over, out of breath. She stared at me for a moment. “This ain’t no strip show, boy. Put your clothes on.”
“No sign of them?” Sabrina asked.
“Nothing at all.”
“What are the odds Weston shows up to work?”
“Slim.”
“We should wait to see.”
“Cool,” I said. “I need to buy some new shorts.”
“You got that right,” Lakesha said. “You sure as hell aren’t planting your gum-covered ass on my car seat.”
I tried wiping gum off my fingers onto the concrete pillar. Some of it came off, but most of it didn’t. “I hate people,” I said.
“They hate you too,” Lakesha said.
I pulled on my gummy shorts and we went back into the mall. I bought a pair of shorts in a department store and changed in one of the restrooms.
As I walked out of the bathroom, I caught a whiff of the girl’s perfume.
“Oh, baby,” I said. Like Toucan Sam searching for Froot Loops, I let my nostrils lead the way to the women’s restroom.
I realized the restroom was for women only, but I figured what was in my pants was also for women only, so I pushed the door open and stepped inside.
“Hey, pretty lady,” I said. “Come on out. Let’s talk.”
There was a row of four stalls. Only one was occupied.
I knocked on the stall door.
“You about done?” I asked.
No answer, but I heard something dripping.
“Hello?”
She wasn’t peeing. The sound was a slow and steady drip, drip, drip. I pushed on the door, but it didn’t budge. “You asleep in there?” I asked. “Wake up so I can pledge my undying love to you.”
Still no reply.
I dropped to my knees to peek under the stall. Either this chick had gigantic feet or this wasn’t her. A dark puddle of blood spread out on the floor. I couldn’t fit underneath the door, so I entered the next stall over and stood on the toilet. I peered over.
Weston Hughes sat on the john and his head was cocked to the side. His throat had been slashed.
“Gross. That undying love thing?” I said. “I take it back.”
A few minutes later, I had Lakesha and Sabrina in the restroom. When they saw him, Lakesha shook her head and Sabrina blanched, putting a hand to her mouth.
Lakesha rolled up Weston’s sleeve and placed a hand on the Solomonic Triangle tattoo.
“Regina’s not in here.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I don’t know. I think the witch wanted us to find the body, though.”
“Why’s that?” I asked.
“Because she drenched it in her perfume.”
I shrugged. “I can think of a few good things about it.”
“Really?” Sabrina asked, trying not to look at the body. “I can’t. It means the witch got away. And it means she’s a murderer.”
“True,” I said. “But it means some other things, too.”
“Such as?”
I smiled and raised a finger.
Lakesha shook her head. “I don’t even want to know,” she said.
“I’m going to tell you anyway.”
“I knew you would. Get it over with so I can smack you upside the head.”
“First of all, it means she wasn’t in love with Weston here.”
“I don’t care,” Sabrina said.
“Oh, but I do. It means she’s free to hook up with me when we find her.”
“She’s a killer,” Sabrina said.
“We don’t know that for sure. Maybe the other guy killed Weston and she poured her perfume on him to make sure he was found.”
Lakesha rolled her eyes. “Your pretzel logic is stupid.”
“Another good thing is that I smelled the perfume and felt the spellbinding effects, but when I saw dipshit here, I didn’t want to be with him.”
“Which proves, what? That you’re not gay?”
“That, plus it proves I’m not a necrophiliac.”
“That was in doubt?”
I shrugged. I didn’t care that Lakesha thought it was stupid. It distracted Sabrina enough that she didn’t hurl on the body. You take the positives where you can.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“I’m going to report the body,” Lakesha said. “There should be plenty of cops at the jewelry store. You two are going to track the witch.”
“How are we going to do that?” I asked.
“Sabrina will enhance your olfactory senses, and you’ll follow the trail of her perfume.”
“I think I can do that,” Sabrina said. “And I need to get out of here. My stomach is still doing flip flops.”
“There’s no puking at crime scenes,” I said. “Let’s talk about the magic. How enhanced? Can you focus it on the perfume?”
“You could if you’d ever bothered to learn any control.”
“So when you heighten my sense of smell, I’m going to have to smell a fart at a hundred yards?”
“You’re going to smell everything,” Sabrina said.
“I don’t want to do that.”
Lakesha shook her head. “Nobody asked what you want, Brat. I’m supposed to be teaching you how to use your own magic, but so far, you’re still leaning hard on your cousin.” And as she turned to leave, she shook her head in disgust. Didn’t she know I’d helped Sabrina deal with the body? I hated to admit that her headshake bothered me. Shades of my dear old dad’s disapproval.
Sabrina grabbed my nose. She didn’t even wince as she bit the inside of her cheek to draw blood. Then she dialed up my olfactory system.
She shoved me out of the women’s room. “As hot and bothered as you got for that witch, this should be easy for you.”
I took a whiff of the air.
Okay, if you ever get a heightened sense of smell, don’t use it near the restrooms. I wrinkled my nose.
“Focus on the perfume,” Sabrina said.
I moved farther down the hall and sniffed again. Still shitty, but now I could detect those flowers. Sabrina followe
d me down the hall into the main mall. I sniffed one way. Popcorn. Movie theater was that way. I sniffed the other way. Pizza, Chinese food, and the guy walking past us had a dime bag of weed in his back pocket. He also needed to wipe better.
Yeah, I needed better focus.
A mother pushed a stroller with a baby, and the baby needed changed. At least it was number one. I tried to hone in on the perfume. Too many other women wore perfume as well.
Too many men wore cologne.
The janitor needed to change the mop water.
I focused not only on the smell, but on the feeling. Sniff, sniff. Desire welled up a bit. I pointed. “She went this way.”
It’s not easy to ignore smells. As we moved through the mall, I cringed a few times. “Personal hygiene much?” I said more than once.
Sabrina slapped my arm. “Be nice.”
“They’re the ones stinking up the place. I want to hand out Altoids to most of these assholes, too.”
“That could be you,” Sabrina said.
“That lady needs to wash her hair,” I said, pointing.
Sabrina smacked my hand. “Stop it,” she said, but chuckled.
That was all the encouragement I needed. “That dude uses Irish Spring. That dude needs to.”
“Follow the perfume.”
“Oh, damn, that dude just let a nasty one rip. I think something crawled up his ass and died.”
The trail of perfume led to a shoe store.
“Smelly feet coming right up,” I said. “She went in here.”
The clerk was helping a mother with a boy and girl. The girl tugged at her mother’s shirt. “Billy’s touching me.”
“Don’t touch your sister.”
Billy shrugged and touched his sister.
We moved down the aisle. I stopped to admire a pair of tennis shoes. “Oh, I like those.”
“Keep going.”
“I could use some new shoes.”
“Another time.”
“But new shoes smell good.”
Then the perfume smell grew stronger. New shoes do smell good, but not as good as the promise of sex. I went through a door into the backroom. Shelves filled with shoeboxes lined the room, and a small office sat at the very back. The aroma intensified as I walked toward the open door. Then I saw her. She had her back to me, and she was talking on her cellphone.
“Yes, I’ve got her inside me,” she said.
I blocked the doorway so she wouldn’t be able to get away. “That sounds painful,” I said.
She spun around. “You?”
“I’m hot for you, baby, but you have more in common with a praying mantis than I’m comfortable with.”
“Hang on,” she said into the phone. “I have to deal with an asshole.”
She set the phone on the desk, but before she could make another motion, Sabrina stepped up and let loose with a powerful blast of energy.
The girl flew backward against a file cabinet and grunted in pain. Sabrina held her in place.
I grabbed her phone. “Hello?” I said. “Are you the ringleader of the circus?”
“Who are you?” A man’s voice.
“Good question.” I held the phone away from me. The screen showed a single name. “Quincy,” I said.
He laughed. “Put my associate on the line.”
“She’s not available at this time. What’s your deal, dude?”
“Let me go,” the hot chick said.
“Hang on, man.” I glared at the girl. “I’ll get to you in a minute. My … associate is way more powerful than you are, so be good or she’ll close off your carotid artery until you pass out.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Not me. I’m still kinda hot for you, but my associate thinks you’re a bitch.”
“True that,” Sabrina said. “A bitch and a killer.”
“I didn’t kill anyone.”
“Sounds like you have your hands full, sir,” Quincy said, and the line went dead.
“Your boss hung up on me,” I said.
“Good,” the woman said.
“You slit your partner’s throat,” Sabrina said. “How can you not be bothered by that?”
“I told you, I didn’t kill anyone.”
I pressed a few icons on the phone to bring up recent calls. Then I pulled my phone from my pocket and added Quincy’s number to my contacts. I followed that by calling myself on her phone so I’d have her number too. I tossed the phone on the desk.
“You don’t mind if I call you later, do you? Once we get the whole ghost abduction and murder and theft thing sorted out, I’d like to take you to dinner. I know it’s kinda sudden, but I like to live on the edge.”
“How many times do I have to say it? I didn’t kill anyone. Jesus. You have no idea how far in over your head you are.”
“My name isn’t Jesus, but I fell for you in the food court,” I said. I stepped closer to her. I wasn’t sure how long Sabrina could hold her or what kind of movement she might be able to manage, but I really liked this woman whether or not she slit Weston’s throat. I knew it was because of the spell, but it was no less real.
“I’ll only rip out your heart, little boy,” she said. “If you two walk away now, I’ll see to it that the Dark Ones don’t hunt you down and kill you for interfering in Mr. Quincy’s operation.”
“So Quincy is his last name?” I asked. “Good to know. What’s your name?”
“We need to hurry this up,” Sabrina said. “She’s stronger than she looks, and I can feel her magic squirming free.”
I rested my elbow on the cabinet and my cheek on my hand so I could gaze at the girl. She had brown eyes that I could have stared into for hours. Her dark hair had touches of gray at the roots, so she wasn’t as young as she looked. Or maybe she was really a blonde. I couldn’t tell. I’m not a hairdresser. She had her bag hanging at her side, and when I glanced down, I saw her wallet.
“You’re a beautiful woman,” I said.
She batted her eyes at me. “And you’re a handsome man.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere with me, baby, but before we start planning a honeymoon, what say you let Regina’s ghost go?” I held her gaze, and let my right hand dip into her bag to grab her wallet. As I lifted it, I spotted a necklace with a big black jewel set into a almond-shaped opal. The black onyx. The Eye of the Tiger.
“You found us because of a ghost?”
“She’s sort of a friend of the family.”
“She was a suicide.”
“I really want to kiss you,” I said, putting her wallet in my back pocket. “Is that part of your spell?”
“I’ll bite your lip.”
“I don’t recommend that,” I said, gazing into her eyes to keep her attention while I reached back into the bag for the necklace. “I’m a powerful wizard, and if you draw blood, I’m likely to accidentally blow you to smithereens, wherever that is, and I’d really rather take you back to my place for some fun.”
“You’re not my type.”
“My name is Carlton, and I might grow on you.”
“Like a fungus,” Sabrina said. “She’s getting free.”
“It’s all right, Dana,” I said, so the girl wouldn’t know Sabrina’s real name. “I think she wants me something fierce. I know I want her.”
“You want every woman.”
“I don’t want you, Dana.” I gave the girl a smile as I casually slipped the necklace into my front pocket. “What say you tell me your name. You’d make my day.”
“I’m going to make you cry, Brett.”
It hit me that I’d already told her my name. “Brett is my last name,” I said. “Carlton Brett. Your big lummox of a boyfriend knocked me down before I could do my Bond, James Bond routine. I was trying to be cool.”
“Mr. Quincy is no doubt sending reinforcements, Carlton, Brett, or whatever. This is your last chance to walk away from this.”
“Turn Regina loose, beautiful.”
“I’m losing it,�
�� Sabrina said. “She’s building power.”
I reached out with my forefinger and touched the tip of the woman’s nose. “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”
“You want the ghost?”
“I do.”
“Here you go,” she said and broke free from Sabrina’s grip. Her arms straightened and the tattoos on her arms spun.
Regina shot out of the tattoo, and arced around behind me.
I leaned in and kissed the woman. I didn’t plan it. What can I say? It just happened. But she kissed me back, so I was golden.
The ghost slammed into me, but went right through me into the woman.
She slammed her palm against the filing cabinet, and pointed at Sabrina. A blast of energy shot forth. Sabrina dove to the side and the blast hit the shelf behind her. Orange boxes exploded, sending tennis shoes, white tissue paper, and silica packs flying every which way.
“You just killed me!” the woman yelled.
She punched me in the throat, grabbed her phone from where I’d dropped it on the desk, and raced from the room.
I dropped to the floor, choking.
Sabrina rushed to me. “Do you need help or should I go after her?”
I tried to speak, but my words came out choked. “Let her go.” I rubbed at my throat.
“Are you sure?”
I nodded and glanced at the sigil the woman had carved into the filing cabinet with her fingernail. “We need to get out of here.” My voice sounded better, but it hurt to swallow. At least I could breathe.
“We should stop her. What did she mean saying you killed her?”
“No clue.”
“That was weird.”
I climbed to my feet and pulled the necklace from my pocket. “On a more positive note, she’ll want to get in touch with us,” I said and grinned.
There was a back exit, so we took it, and burst into the sunlight. We hurried toward the parking lot where Lakesha’s hearse sat waiting. Sabrina called Lakesha and told her to meet us there, while I pulled the woman’s wallet from my back pocket. I flipped it open. Pennsylvania driver’s license with the name Abigail Annette Argent. Her parents must have hated her, but she could at least come first in the internet magic lists as AAA Witch Services.
“You stole her wallet?” Sabrina asked.
“She wouldn’t tell me her name.”
“And her necklace?”