by C. A. Mason
She looked at me. “He’s a friend.”
“He looks like a lot more than that,” he said, fisting his hands at his sides.
“You’re right, he is.” She leaned her face close to his. “Now seems like a good time for full disclosure. I fucked Blaise when I was in New York.”
I couldn’t hide my smug smile. I didn’t even want to try. I felt no guilt or remorse about sleeping with his fiancé, especially knowing what I now knew about him.
“You what?” he shouted. He grabbed her by the shoulders before I leaned in.
“Take your fucking hands off her before I kick your ass. That’s your one and only warning. Touch her again, and I’ll put you in the hospital.”
He jumped back. “You fucked him?” He ran a hand through his cropped hair before releasing a shaky breath. “You fucked him. Okay. We need to go home and talk about this. We both made mistakes. We can work through this.”
To my relief, she looked at him as though he was insane. “The only mistake I made was agreeing to marry you. Sleeping with Blaise was the smartest thing I’ve done in years. He reminded me what it feels like to be with a real man.” She looked around the small area, disgust pinching her features as she watched women selling their bodies to horny men.
I loved that she was defending what had happened between us, that she no longer felt any guilt or remorse about it. It was the victory I’d been hoping for.
“I don’t want to see you again… ever,” she told him. She looked at me. “Since you’re his landlord now, can you kick him out of the building?”
I flashed her a quick grin. “That would be my pleasure, angel.” I looked him in the eye. “Consider this your official eviction notice.” The deal wouldn’t be done until our lawyers had reviewed the paperwork and my check had cleared, but I knew Eric would back my decision.
“You… you…” He pointed at me. “Own the building? Since when?”
“Since I bought it from Eric this afternoon.” I looked him over, wondering how I could ruin his life. I hated him for hurting Maura, convincing her to wear his ring, sharing her bed, making her believe she could love him, trust him… I hated him for having the life that I’d always wanted. “I wonder how the fine people of this town would feel if they knew how their D.A. spent his evenings, Maura?”
She smirked, crossing her arms. “I can guarantee they wouldn’t like it. This is a pretty conservative town. It would probably cause quite a scandal if the truth got out.”
“You wouldn’t,” he said, the color draining from his face.
“Wouldn’t we?” I asked Maura. “I don’t know, I’m thinking we would.”
“We just might.” She shook her head. “Unless he agrees to stay the hell away from me.” She slid her engagement ring off and tossed it at his chest. It dropped on the floor at his feet.
“Yeah, you’re right,” I said, closing my arms around her from behind. “That’s the only way I’d consider letting him keep his job.”
“Fine,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “I’ll leave you alone. I won’t bother you again.”
“That’s what I like to hear. Come on, baby.” I reached for Maura’s hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
***
She didn’t say a word all the way back to her place, and I knew that in spite of her brave act at the club, Maura was devastated by her fiancé’s betrayal. To her credit, she hadn’t shed a single tear. But she seemed to have shut down completely, which worried me even more.
I walked her up to her loft and watched her slip the key into the lock. She stepped inside and tossed the keys at the desk, but they fell to the floor. I bent to pick them up. She hadn’t invited me in, but I wasn’t going to leave her alone. Even if she just needed someone to hold her, I’d be there.
“Can I fix you a drink?” I asked as she walked to the window. I felt edgy and restless. I wasn’t used to doing nothing. She was hurting and I wanted to take the sting away, but she had to process it first.
“There’s some scotch in the cupboard above the fridge. I keep it for my father, when he visits.”
Scotch? I’d never known her to drink hard liquor, only wine or the occasional beer on a hot day. “Okay.” I made my way to the kitchen.
“Blaise?”
“Yeah?”
“Make it a double.”
I didn’t want to watch her drink her anguish away. I’d much rather she got lost in me, my body, my touch, and my voice as I made love to her. “You got it, angel.”
She pressed her forehead to the glass, watching the cars pass below. That was how I found her when I returned a few minutes later, glasses in hand. I came up behind her, circling her with my arms as I pressed a glass into her cold hands.
“Drink up, sweetheart,” I said, brushing my lips across her hair. “It’ll help.”
“No, it won’t.” Still, she brought the glass to her lips and took a deep swallow, then another.
She rested her head on my shoulder and winced, though I couldn’t tell whether her reaction stemmed from the drink or what had happened. I glided my hand over her flat stomach, pressing her ass into my arousal. I wanted her to know that even though that stupid prick hadn’t been smart enough to realize when he had a goddess in his arms, I did.
“How long have you known he was cheating on me?” she asked, tipping back her glass. “Did you know in New York? Is that why you seduced me?”
“No.” I couldn’t figure out whether her anger was directed at her cheating ex or me for exposing him. “We made love that night because we both wanted it. We needed each other. That had nothing to do with him, and you know it.”
“You know what I need right now?” She whirled around so quickly, she nearly knocked the glass out of my hand. “I need you to fuck me.” She grabbed my glass and threw the contents back before throwing the glass against the wall and watching, dispassionately, as it shattered. Maura moved me backward with her hand firmly planted on my chest. “I want you to fuck me until I forget.” Reaching behind her, she undid the three buttons at the back of her neck before peeling the dress to her waist, revealing a gold, silk strapless bra. Her trembling hand worked the zipper on the dress. “Fuck me until I forget what that asshole did to me.”
I hated that she was using me to forget him, but there was no way I could reject her when she was in so much pain.
Kicking her dress off to reveal a matching thong, she said, “Make me feel the way you did that night. Fuck me so hard, so fast that I can’t think. I don’t want to think anymore. I just want to feel.”
I scanned her body. She was so beautiful she took my breath away. In the light filtering through the window, I saw the faint scars she hated so much. It should be a stark reminder of my mission to uncover the truth, but I couldn’t think about that. The truth would mean the end of us, and that was more than I could deal with now.
“I’ll give you whatever you need, baby. Just tell me.”
She grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me passionately as her legs circled my waist. I held her tight, locking my hands around her back and letting her kiss me until I felt her salty tears graze my lips.
“Bedroom,” she whispered. “Take me to the bedroom.”
Since there was only one short hallway with three doors, it wasn’t hard to find the master bedroom. I let her concentrate on working my tie loose as I pushed the door open with the toe of my shoe.
She grabbed the doorframe before we could enter the room. Her legs slowly left my waist. Glaring at the king-sized bed, she said, “He fucked me here.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see it. I didn’t want to think about it. Maura was a part of me; she always had been, even when I’d thought we were as separate as two people could be. She’d probably had several lovers in the years we’d been apart, but staring at the place it had all happened made me want to wretch.
“I want to burn this thing.” She walked over to the bed, tore the throw pillows off, and tossed them across the room.
She ripped the covers off the shams, tearing the soft fabric as she screamed in agony, before stripping the sheets and duvet and hurtling the pile across the room. She sank into the soft pile, sobbing.
I went to her and huddled beside her before I pulled her head against my chest and let her cry.
“I hate that bastard!” she screamed. “I hate all men! They’re no fucking good! They’re all liars! They use and manipulate, and when they get what they want, they toss you aside like a pile of garbage!”
My heart raced at the rage in her voice. Liars. Manipulators. Oh, God. What would she think of the lie I was living?
She gripped my shirt in her fist. “My first serious boyfriend cheated on me. He said he loved me, then he fucked some random chick he met in a bar.”
She was talking about the loser I’d found her dancing with the night our lives changed forever.
“Then Matt…” Her voice broke on a sob. “God, I loved him so much.”
My chest was so tight, I was surprised I could breathe. I had a fleeting thought that that was what a heart attack must feel like, but no, it felt familiar. It felt more like a broken heart. I knew that feeling because I’d lived with it every day I’d spent in prison.
“I loved him. How could he do that to me, Blaise? Did he just snap or was he always like that?” She looked at me, her mascara streaked across her wet face. “Did I miss the signs or something? Am I that stupid… that blind?”
I didn’t know how to respond without giving myself away, so I just sat there, frozen. Every muscle in my body shook from the tension of holding myself together.
“I must be, because look at what happened with Jeff. I swore I’d never let another man hurt me. I vowed to choose safe guys, guys who would love me, protect me, never hurt me.” She shuddered. “I wasn’t meant to have love.”
“Don’t say that,” I said, closing my arms around her. “It’s not true.”
“Yes, it is. I’m just supposed to have meaningless sex with men who only want my body. No emotional attachments, no talk of the future, just sex.” She looked at her mostly naked body. Her breasts were spilling out over her bra, rising and falling with every breath. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? Because you want to have sex with me?”
Without waiting for my response, she climbed on top of me, forcing me back against the bed. Reaching behind her back, she took her bra off and flung it aside. Swirling her thumb around her nipple, she held it to my lips. “This is what you want, right, Blaise? You like my tits? You wanna taste? Come on, lick them, suck them, you know you want to. This is the reason you’re here, the reason you hunted me down. It’s because I’m a good lay, because you wanted more of this.” She ground her pussy into my hard cock. “Yeah, I want it too. I want to feel that filling me, stretching me…” She traced my lower lip with her nipple. “Come on, what are you waiting for?”
Fuck. I was in a no-win situation. I wanted her more than air, but if I took her, she’d think I was just using her for sex. If I refused, she would see it as a rejection. I needed to make love to her, to make her feel cherished. Somehow I had to make her believe in love again.
“Stop,” I whispered, cradling her face in my hands. “This isn’t what I want.”
“No?” She reached for my belt, pushing my suit jacket out of the way. “Then this must be what you want, huh? You want me to suck your cock?”
“Maura, stop.” I wanted to feel her lips around me more than anything, but not like this. Never like this.
“You don’t really want me to stop,” she said, undoing my button and zipper. “You’re just pretending you do, saying what you think I want to hear. Isn’t that what all men do? Isn’t that part of your twisted game to get women into bed? Well, guess what? You don’t have to work for it this time. I’m right here and willing to suck you off. Fuck me as many times as you want. Use me, Blaise. That’s what you’re going to do anyway, isn’t it?”
Her soundless tears were even more heart-wrenching than her sobs because I knew they came from the heart and weren’t the by-product of frustration. I told myself I’d never use her, but that was exactly what I’d done. I’d gotten her into bed so she would open up to me about what happened the night of her attack. I had been thinking of myself, of clearing my own name. Until I realized I couldn’t live with the fear of someone hurting her again.
“Your silence speaks volumes,” she said sarcastically, fisting my cock as she planted herself between my legs.
“Maura…” I wanted to tell her to stop. I tried, but as soon as her lips circled my shaft, I was gone. “Fuck.” I fisted my hands in her hair, thrusting up to meet her mouth. “Yes. Take it. Take all of it.” A voice in my head told me I was a stupid bastard, that I was fucking everything up, but I couldn’t ignore the pressure building as she furiously worked my cock. “Oh God, yes.”
She circled the base of my cock with her hand as she took me deep into her mouth. Her tongue glided over me between thrusts, her cheeks were hollowed, and the sounds filling the room were enough to get me off.
“Shit, I’m gonna come…” I wanted to tell her that I wanted to be inside her, but it all happened so fast.
She was swallowing before I could stop her. She lifted her head, her blue eyes cold and detached. “Did you like that?” she asked, swiping a hand over the back of her mouth. “What do I have to do to get you hard again so you can pound me?”
I hated the words she was using. I hated how lifeless her eyes looked. “Maura.”
She backed up slowly, hitting a switch on the wall to illuminate the adjoining bathroom. At least I had the wherewithal to pull my jacket over my hips when she bathed the room in soft light. Shit, I couldn’t believe she’d just gotten me off like that and I still had on most of my clothes. This was so fucked up.
“If I touch myself…” She set an armchair beside her and rested one foot on it, opening her legs to me. “That’ll do it, won’t it? Guys like you enjoy watching their whores touch themselves, right?”
“Don’t say shit like that.” I felt my blood rising, my face getting hot. “You’re not my whore.”
“Yes, I am.” She circled her opening with the tip of her finger. “That’s why you bought me that bracelet, the car…” She laughed. “Hell, you even bought this building. You thought if you threw enough money at me, I’d agree to suck your cock whenever you came to town.” She smiled, shaking her head slowly. “Not gonna happen. Sorry. This is a one-time deal, so enjoy it while you can.”
Everything was spinning out of control. I felt as though every move I made was the wrong one, and I didn’t know how to get back to where we were before. Something had shifted in her when she found out about her fiancé, and she was determined to punish me and herself instead of him.
“Baby, don’t.”
But she was too far gone to hear me. I got lost in watching her, pretending she was putting on a private show because she wanted to turn me on—not so I could fuck her senseless, but because she needed me to fill the hole in her heart.
“Blaise… Oh God…” She tipped her head back, rubbing her clit furiously as she gripped the back of the chair with her free hand.
“Enough,” I said, inching closer. “Let me.” I knew there was no way to stop her, to pull her out of this vortex of grief and fear and frustration, so I just had to go along for the ride. Tomorrow was another chance to prove that she was special, that she deserved the best of a man worthy of her love.
“Yes,” she said as I positioned myself beneath her, swirling my tongue around her clit as I slid two fingers into her pussy. “Just like that. I need more, more, don’t stop.”
I held her hips tight, digging my fingers into her. I’d probably curse myself for her bruises in the morning, but I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t let up, not until I gave her what she needed, until she gave me what I craved.
“Oh God, I’m gonna come!”
I licked her through her release, hungry for more, wanting desperately to bring her to the brink and
back again.
She glared at me as she stepped out of the panties I’d merely pushed aside. “More.”
Fuck, she was insatiable. She was trying to release her pain with sex. If I weren’t there, she would use another vice, probably alcohol, so I was happy to let her take what she needed from me for as long as she needed it.
“Take your clothes off, Blaise.”
The light. The tattoo. Shit. “Hit the light first.”
“Why?” She smirked. “You shy all of a sudden?”
“No, I just love fucking you in the pitch dark. It intensifies the feeling.”
“Whatever,” she said, lifting a shoulder as she walked to the bathroom to kill the light.
I’d dodged a bullet, and I knew it. It wouldn’t be so easy next time… assuming there was a next time. There had to be. I couldn’t lose her. Not yet. “Come here, you sexy little thing.” I knew she needed it rough and dirty. If I tried to make love to her the way I wanted to, she would only push me away.
“You still have clothes on?”
I made quick work of shedding my clothes.
When I moved to the bed, she said, “Not there.” She pointed at the chair. “Here.”
Jesus, she was trying to make this as impersonal as possible, and I hated it. Before she came up to me, I reached for my pants and pulled a condom out of the pocket. I was surprised when she tossed it over my shoulder.
“We don’t need that tonight.”
“But…”
“What’s wrong?” she asked, planting her hands on her hips. “You afraid he gave me something? You think I’d be stupid enough to let him do me without a condom?”
I hated the words coming out of her mouth. They were so vulgar, so unlike her, which proved just how detached she’d become.
“Oh, I get it. You’re afraid of knocking me up, aren’t you? You think I’m trying to get pregnant so I’ll have a baby-daddy to take care of me.” She reached into the nightstand and retrieved a plastic disk of pills. She turned the disc and tapped one of the pills into her hand. “Don’t worry. This will prevent that from happening.”