by C. A. Mason
“Mmmmm.” She moaned as she licked the underside of my cock. “My pleasure.”
“Yes, baby.” I massaged her scalp she relaxed her throat so she could take me deeper. “Fuck, that’s so hot, angel.” I closed my eyes as I clenched my abs. I had no intention of letting her finish me off this way. When the time came, I’d be buried so deep inside her, there would be no escape. “God, I love the way you make me feel, Maura.” I was completely at her mercy. I’d always held back a part of myself during sex, giving myself over to the pleasure but never completely surrendering to anyone. Except her. “You own me.”
She looked up, startled, before a small smile spread across her lips. “Say that again.”
I guided her mouth back to my engorged head before I repeated the words I never thought I’d say. “You own me. My body. My mind. My heart. My money. It’s all yours for the taking.”
She made a sound in the back of her throat that danced over my cock, making it twitch in response.
“Yessss…..” I couldn’t get enough of her sweet mouth. I pumped into her so deep I was surprised she wasn’t gagging or at least trying to ease out of my grip. “You okay, sweetheart?”
I cupped her face, forcing her to look at me. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and I saw the lust in her eyes, the moist sheen on her lips from my arousal. She was enjoying this as much as I was, which turned me on even more. Looking at her, I was struck by the fact that I’d almost lost her. Again.
“Don’t ever do that to me again.” My words were harsh, but my touch was gentle as I dropped to one knee in front of her. The urge to kiss her was stronger than my urge for her to finish what she’d started. I held her flawless face, my eyes tracing it as reality hit me. “I’m falling in love with you, Maura.” All over again.
Her eyes widened. “What did you say?”
“You heard me.” I pressed her lips to mine, holding firm instead of dipping my tongue inside. The kiss wasn’t sexual. It wasn’t about turning her on. It was about letting her know she had somehow become my everything. “There are no other words to describe this feeling. The thought of losing you… it rocked the fucking foundation of my world. Do you get that?” I pulled back to look her in the eye. “That’s the kind of power you have over me.”
“Blaise…” Her eyes filled with tears. “I feel the same way. I’ve been so miserable since you told me you were going on a date with someone else, someone you’d slept with. I couldn’t get the image out of my head…” She hesitated, taking a deep breath. “I had to find out what she looked like, so I Googled her. She’s gorgeous.”
“Not nearly as beautiful as you.” I saw how much this had impacted her, and I wanted to erase her insecurity about a woman who had never been more than a friend I was occasionally intimate with. “Can’t you see yourself the way I see you? Don’t you see it when you look into my eyes?” Maybe if she were really looking into your eyes, she would be able to see the truth. “One look at you, and I was done. Done with other women, done fucking around, done living for the moment. I wanted you. I wanted a life with you.”
“I want that too.” She kissed me once, twice, three times before a tear slipped down her cheek. “Sorry.” She sniffled. “I just…” She shook her head, breaking eye contact with me. “Didn’t know what to expect when I came here. I was so afraid to put myself out there, to risk rejection, but that’s what you did when you came looking for me. You knew I was engaged, yet you didn’t let that stop you.”
“I couldn’t.” I pulled the knot on the tie loose and eased her back on the bed. I wanted to feel her arms around me. What had started out as the need for reassurance in the form of sex had turned into something so much more. “I couldn’t let you marry someone else. That night we spent together was… incredible. The next morning, I woke up feeling like I’d found the woman of my dreams, and I was sending her back to another man. So I came to your room and tried to stop you. I didn’t want to let you go.”
“Now you won’t have to.” Her mouth grazed the stubble on my jaw. “Ever.”
Never letting her go sounded like a dream come true, but I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. There were too many secrets, too many lies between us.
When I pulled myself out of my dark thoughts, she was staring at me with a curious expression. “What are you thinking about?”
Needing to distract her, I guided her hand to my shaft. “I’m wondering how the hell we got so off-track. One minute you’re giving me a blow job that damn near ended my life, and the next you’re psycho-analyzing me.” I saw the flash of hurt in her eyes and cursed myself for being an insensitive jackass. “I’m sorry, baby. You can ask me anything, but it’s been a rough couple of days, and I just need to be inside you right now, to forget everything else and get lost in you. Can you understand that?”
“Of course.” Maura threw one leg over my waist, straddling me.
As soon as she glided the head of my cock through her slick folds, the memory of the recurring dream I’d had in prison hit me full force. The one where she’d had me bound and was taking her pleasure without asking.
Oblivious to my reaction, she ran a hand over my pecs before straying to my abs. “I love the way your body feels. So hard, so hot.” Her eyes fell on mine before a smile spread across her face. “And all mine.”
“All yours.” I was surprised I had the ability to form words. My mind was whirling, taking me back to a time when I’d had nothing to offer her and she’d still wanted me. How could I have ever questioned her love for me? It was obvious every time she looked at me, every time we made love. I was her world, just like she was mine. “I’m sorry.” I pulled her down on top of me, hugging her fiercely. “I’m so sorry.”
“For what?”
“For giving you reason to question me, for questioning you.” Of course she thought I was talking about our most recent bout with trust, but it still felt good to speak the truth. I hated the lies more and more, knowing they had the power to rip us apart.
I gripped the back of her head, holding her close, refusing to let her go. “I don’t want anything to come between us again, angel. I can’t lose you. I won’t lose you. No matter what happens, we’ll get through it. I need you to promise me that.” It was unfair to ask that. She had no way of knowing the test of faith I was talking about would exceed anything she thought she was capable of.
“Of course,” she whispered, turning her head to kiss my cheek. “I want this to work as much as you do. We’ll find a way if we’re both committed, right?”
If only commitment were enough. “Make love to me, angel.”
I needed to watch her express her love for me. I needed to see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch. I needed something to hold on to, something to believe in. After years in prison with men who had nothing left to lose, I thought I’d eradicated fear, but Maura could make me so much weaker than the system that had tried to break me.
She eased down on my cock, and I was lost. In the moment. In her. In the dreams I had for the future, every one of them revolving around her. Through the narrow slice of light coming through the curtains, I saw her expression as she got lost in giving and taking pleasure. Her perfection still stunned me and left me feeling inadequate, even with all that I’d accomplished.
“Yes,” I said, gripping her hips as I forced her to ride my cock in a fierce rhythm that would eclipse thought. “That’s it. Fuck.” I clamped my jaw shut, worrying about the words that might spill out. I felt intoxicated by her love-making, like a drunk whose words spilled out without censor. The truth was right there, on the tip of my tongue.
“Blaise.”
No! I wanted her to see me. She’d always told me my eyes were surreal. I wanted her to look into my eyes. I wanted her to see the truth, to see how much I loved her and that I could never hurt her.
“Oh God, I’m gonna come.”
I pulled her down on top of me, holding her tight, and thrust into her at a steady pace. She gasped in my ear, whispering words of lo
ve and loyalty that made me want to prolong the moment.
“It’s too much,” she whispered, trying to brace herself on my chest to slow my pounding rhythm.
“No, it’s not enough.” I was desperate to maintain our bond. I picked up the tempo beyond what I thought any healthy heart could endure. My pace was relentless as sweat trickled down my forehead into my hairline. “It’ll never be enough.” My pace was harsh and unyielding. I was determined to steal her control and ease the ache lodged in my gut. I wanted to feel her body quivering, her heart racing, hear her anguished cries as she spilled all over my cock. “I can’t get enough of you. Of this.”
“Oh God.” Her body was taut, rigid with her impending release. “I’m…”
“I know.” I felt it, sensed it. “I need to feel it.” I splayed my hand over her ass so she was fused with me, unable to move as her pussy riveted me with a throbbing pulse that made my control snap like a dry twig. “Fuck! I’m gonna come.”
“Yes.” Her mouth moved to mine. “Kiss me.”
My mouth engaged hers in a sensual exploration that heightened the experience, giving me the relief I needed from the tension I’d been experiencing since she’d walked out of the pool house.
Capturing her face in my hands as my orgasm subsided, I asked her, “How the hell do you always know what I need, even before I do?”
A playful smile quirked her lips. “I’m learning how to read you.”
That should have scared me. It wouldn’t be long before she realized I was hiding something, but with her wrapped in my arms, I couldn’t grasp the restlessness that was always within reach. I felt a sense of peace wash over me as I realized fate had brought her back into my life for a reason—because we were meant to be together.
“I love you.” I kissed her head as she eased down beside me, curling her body into mine.
“I love you too, Blaise.” She ran a hand over my chest. “Have you ever said that to anyone before?”
I battled with the urge to come clean, but if I did, I could lose her. I couldn’t risk that. “Once.”
“The girl you told me about?”
“Yeah.”
She positioned her leg over mine, interlocking our bodies. “Do you ever wish… that things had worked out differently, that you had another chance with her?”
I couldn’t answer that question honestly without revealing too much, but I had to find the words to satisfy her curiosity. “I was a kid then. I wanted to be with her, but I had nothing to offer her. She came from a privileged family. She was used to the finer things in life. I wanted to give her those things. I wanted to give her everything, but I couldn’t. It was frustrating.”
“Has she tried to reach out to you since…” She looked at me. “You became successful? I mean, now that she knows you’re rich, has she tried to reconnect with you?”
She was asking whether there was a chance my first love would come back to haunt us, but I couldn’t give her the reassurance she needed without lying to her again. “No, she hasn’t tried to contact me.”
“Have you tried to contact her?” Her hand rested on my stomach. She looked at me when my abs involuntarily clenched. “You have, haven’t you? Recently?”
“Jesus, Maura.” I gripped her hand when I felt her putting distance between us. “I don’t want to talk about my ex when I’m in bed with you. Please, can we just let this go?”
“I need to know, am I your second choice?” She sat up, staring at me. “If you had a choice between me and her, who would you choose?”
“You.” The strong, independent, ambitious woman you are today. I loved the girl you used to be, but I want to spend my life with the woman you’ve become. I couldn’t say any of those things. I just had to hope my one-word response was enough to satisfy her.
“You’re sure?” She raised an eyebrow before settling back down beside me.
“Positive.”
I looked at the adjoining bathroom door. I’d have to figure out how to sneak in there and take out my contacts before I drifted off to sleep. How would I hide my eyes, my tattoo in the morning light?
Chapter Seven
My back was facing Maura when she stirred the following morning. I’d been drifting in and out of sleep all night, wondering how I would handle the morning. When I’d woken up at her place, she’d already left for work, and I hadn’t had to deal with this.
“Hmmm…” She rolled over on her back, stretching her hands above her head. “I’m deliciously sore. Every muscle in my body is aching, thanks to you.”
I’d lost count of the number of times we’d made love. Maybe because I’d felt the need to strengthen our frail bond or because I feared the truth was closing in on us and nothing could keep it hidden. I wanted to believe I could buy a little more time to conduct my investigation and figure out who was behind her attack, but trying to uncover the truth in her hometown on the down low would be tough.
“You should go get a massage,” I said, trying to buy a few minutes alone. “Or go for a workout.”
“Oh, that’s a good idea.” She sat up and leaned over my shoulder. “You wanna come with me?”
I made sure my eyes were firmly closed. “I’d love to, but I can’t, baby. I need to get some work done this morning.”
“Oh.”
I hated disappointing her, but there was no way we could get ready side by side in that bathroom. If I tried to sneak into the suite’s second bathroom, she would undoubtedly question why I didn’t want to shower with her.
“Where’s your stuff?” I asked.
“I left it in my rental car. I wasn’t sure I’d be staying here.”
I wanted to roll over and pull her into my arms, especially since I could hear that she was getting annoyed from carrying on a conversation with my back, but keeping my eyes closed would be more difficult if she was facing me. She was probably expecting me to get her suitcase, since that would be the chivalrous thing to do, but that wasn’t an option. “Where are your keys? I’ll have someone get your bag while you’re in the shower.”
“They’re in my purse. I think the make and license plate is on a tag hanging from the key ring. It’s in the visitors’ lot.”
“Okay. Go grab a shower, and I’ll take care of it.”
She leaned in to kiss my shoulder. “Thanks, but I’m in no hurry. You wanna grab a shower with me before I hit the gym?”
“No, thanks. I think I’ll just lay here for a bit.” I couldn’t even offer to order room service, since eating with her without my contacts wasn’t an option. This was so fucked up, but I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to be with her. Coming clean wasn’t an option. At least not until I knew who was responsible for her attack.
“Is something wrong? You’re acting kind of strange.”
I cursed myself for feeding her insecurity when we’d taken such great strides last night. “No, I’m fine.” My lips curled into a smile, the only outward sign I could offer her. “But you might as well know now, I’m not a morning person.”
“Oh.” She threw back the covers. “I guess I’ll just go grab a quick shower then.”
I’d slipped my contacts case into my overnight bag last night, so at least I could I put them in before she got out of the shower. Of course, I’d have to take them out before my own shower, but she would be downstairs by then. The logistics of leading a double life were wearing on me, making me more determined than ever to uncover the truth.
As soon as I heard the shower turn on, I took my bag into the other bathroom and slipped the contacts in before putting on the hotel robe. I looked at my reflection, bracing my hands on the counter and hanging my head. There was no trace of the guy I used to be. The doctor had even managed to reshape my broken nose. For the first time since the surgeries, I despised the likeness staring back at me. She’d fallen in love with the man I used to be, broken nose, chipped teeth, and all. The person she’d fallen in love with this time was a mirage.
I heard the shower turn off, and I scramb
led to find my cell phone. I arranged for someone to pick up her keys and retrieve her bag before I called room service to order a light breakfast. I knew she wouldn’t want much before her workout, just some protein and coffee. She used to be a runner, and she would often run first thing in the morning until I convinced her to have a serving of protein before she hit the streets. I couldn’t stand the thought of her passing out and hitting her head or laying in the street with no one to help her.
I sat on the edge of the bed as my mind replayed our time together all those years ago. The conversations that had seemed unimportant then had served a purpose. They’d helped build the foundation upon which our love had survived fourteen years apart.
“Hey,” she said, standing in the doorway and watching me. “Is this a bad time?”
“No.” I reached for her hand. “Come here.” Pulling her into my arms, I leaned my head against her stomach. “Sorry if I was short with you earlier. I have a lot on my mind.”
“Anything I can help with?”
I loved that she cared enough to ask, but I was the only one who could dig myself out of the cavern of deception I’d fallen into. “No, but thanks for asking.” I looked at her. “I ordered some breakfast for us.”
“Great.” She smiled, running a hand over my head.
“They should be up to get your keys in a minute.”
“No hurry. The shower helped. I wish you would’ve joined me though.”
“Next time.” Though I knew that was one intimacy I would have to avoid for the foreseeable future. A knock on the door gave me an excuse for a reprieve. “Let me get that.”
She sat on the edge of the bed as I handed her keys off to a bell hop. Before I could close the door, someone pushing a serving tray appeared.
“Hey, that was quick. Just set it up over there.” I pointed at the table in the corner of the room as I reached for some cash.