Emboldened by the lack of knee-jerk reaction, which was probably just post-adrenaline-rush bravado, she put her hands on his chest, his brawny, warm...hard chest, and looked up into his twinkling eyes. “I want this.”
“I’m glad. It’s about damned time. Do you want a bath? I can get you a glass of wine.”
“You have wine over here? In this bachelor haven?”
“Hey, just because there’s a big screen and a popcorn machine and Cheetos in bulk quantities in the pantry doesn’t mean that we can’t class up the joint.”
“Don’t forget the beanbag chairs with Texas A&M logos on them. By the way, what are you thinking, backing the Aggies? That’s just wrong. I thought you wore maroon a lot because you like the color, not because you had a pathological devotion to it.”
Troy shook his head, the tilt of his mouth letting her know he was holding back laughter. “I can’t have this conversation with you if you disrespect my boys. Wait…you’re not…”
Jessica made a “hook ‘em, horns” motion with her fingers and snorted derisively. “Boys is right.”
“Fine, I’m not sharing my covers with you and your burnt orange-loving self. You were gonna be my BFF after sleeping under them, but now you get to do without. The Aggies are heroes. Gods. Legends.”
“Wait, what kind of covers?”
“None of your beeswax, hater,” he quipped as he tickled her in the doorway to the bathroom. “Bubble bath and Dead Sea salts are by the faucet.”
“You use Dead Sea salts and bubble bath?”
“The salts are great for muscle aches, and they’re infused with rosemary and eucalyptus essential oils, so when I have sinus—”
“You use essential oils? I mean you know about them?”
“Heck yeah. Our mom—Tank’s mom I mean—is all into that stuff, homeopathic remedies, Ayurveda, yoga, acupuncture. She mixed those for me. I bought the bubble bath just in case, plus...it smells nice.”
Jessica blinked and then chuckled as she picked up the jar containing the salts. It had a homemade label. Unscrewing the cap on the bubble bath, she smiled as she got a whiff of citrus and gardenias. “I like that. So I guess what you’re saying is you’re a man of varied interests...and poor taste in college teams.” She glanced at Troy, and he almost took her breath away, standing there so hopeful and happy as he teased her and talked to her, cajoling her into his big bathtub and then later into his bed—with him in it, too! This could be my life!
“We’ll see come December.”
“Pfft, my Longhorns are gonna leave your boys weeping in the dust of defeat.”
A crooked, confident smile crossed his face, making him even more devilish in appearance. “Baby cakes, I’m gonna remember you said that.”
Whatever, she mouthed silently and then giggled. To be able to kid with him let all the tightness out of her back and shoulders. “Thank you.”
Chucking her under the chin, he leaned down and kissed her before she had time to think, and then he backed away and smiled. After turning the faucet handles so that a powerful stream of water poured out, he leaned into the deeper-than-normal tub and turned the stopper to plug the drain. That done, he turned to go and said, “I’ll get you a glass of wine. And don’t worry about Bella. I’ll keep an ear open for her so you can relax.”
He came in a few minutes later while she was brushing out her hair and waiting for the tub to fill and placed the full glass on the tile ledge that surrounded the tub. “You ought to hear your daughter.”
“What’s she doing?”
He gestured for her to follow him, stopped her outside Tank’s darkened bedroom, and pointed to his ear.
“Uh-huh! They’s my woobies! Oh, yeah,” Bella murmured in a sleepy baby talk voice. One of the things Jessica knew she’d miss as Bella grew up was the way she made up words and talked nonsense and seemed perfectly entertained by herself, especially when she was sleepy. “Oh, dey’s wonnerful! Big, hansome woobies. So sweet. Yeah, very sweet. Like Beast! Big an’ scary but soooooo sweeeet! Mama luz my woobies, too, and they luz her, tooooo.”
Troy snorted as if he was holding back laughter, but when she looked up, she saw the heat—and confirmation—in his gaze. He had the audacity to smile and nod then shrug, as if to say, “What’re ya gonna do about it?”
Giggling silently, she walked away as Bella continued her sleepy monologue. Back in the bathroom, she said, “I don’t think she’ll last much longer. I’ve heard her talk herself to sleep before.”
Troy removed a towel and washcloth from the linen closet and placed them beside the bath products on the tub ledge. “She’s going to grow up to be a color commentator or...or one of those women who do video tutorials on YouTube for makeup or crafting or something.”
“She does love the sound of her own voice. And she’s so conversational. If I didn’t know better from having watched her, I’d think she was actually talking to someone.”
“Drink your wine and enjoy your bath. I’ll check on you in a few minutes.” He kissed her again, quick but hot, right on the lips. “Take your time.”
“Okay.” It was on the tip of her tongue to stop him, see if he wanted to stay or...something, but she didn’t. She couldn’t quite bring herself to say it, and he was gone, pulling the door so that it was just slightly ajar, and the words were still stuck in her throat.
“Chickenshit,” she whispered as she pulled off her top and stood in front of the mirror, examining herself closely. What did they see in her? Dark reddish-brown hair that was due for a visit to Madeleine’s to have her highlights redone and a few stray gray hairs touched up. Her breasts were okay, but her bra had definitely seen better days. Her frame was curvy with a nice waist-to-hip ratio, but there was more of her than was fashionable. She couldn’t find the desire or time for a gym membership. Chasing after Bella in the city park and around the Rockin’ C Ranch sufficed for exercise.
Leaning forward, she frowned, which only made the furrows marring her brow a little deeper. Crow’s feet hadn’t caught up with her yet, but she did have slight smile lines around her mouth. She had Bella to thank for those. She hadn’t had much to smile about until her little girl had come into her life.
She ran her fingers through her hair and piled it on her head and turned side to side, wondering what the guys would think if she went all-out, new hair, new lingerie, but then she fluffed her hair and let out a short breath.
Let’s start simple, like be intimate with them without retreating like a startled rabbit.
She stripped out of the rest of her clothes, wondering what tonight would be like, with Tank not there. She’d made strides forward until they’d been interrupted. But how did they proceed if Tank wasn’t there? Was fooling around off-limits? She pondered Troy’s reaction if she invited him to join her and then jumped and squeaked when he tapped on the door and called out softly. She nearly slipped as she plunked down in the water and bubbles puffed up in the air around her.
“You okay, Jess?” Troy asked again.
“Yeah,” she said, rubbing her tingling posterior and shuddering at the delightful sting of hot water in the big tub. “You just caught me while I was climbing in.”
“Shoot. I missed it,” he murmured in a playful tone. “You need anything? Bath pillow? Scrub buddy? I can scrub your back for you.”
“You...You could come in, and we could talk...if you want.”
He didn’t hesitate, poking his head around the door, grinning at the sight of her in a mountain of bubbles. “You sure?”
His expression was so open, boyish almost, that she giggled and nodded. “Yes, just leave the door open so you can hear if Bella calls out. The doors are locked, right?”
“Yep. This house is zipped up tighter than Fort Knox right now, and Tank said he’d be home in the morning, so we have all night.”
“Do we?” Left unsaid was just how much intimacy that might entail. The heat from the hot water soaking into her pores was nothing compared to the blaze that suddenly
flared to life inside her. Thoughts of how they could spend the night made her tremble, but then she bit her lip. “What about Tank?”
“He’s jealous as hell that he’s not here with us. Before he left he told me to make you feel good, whatever it took...and you should have whatever you wanted.” He walked over to the side of the tub and picked up her wine glass, took a tiny sip, and then handed it to her.
“It’s okay with him that he’s not here, with us?” Taking the glass from him, she did a piss-poor job of hiding her nerves from him when the glass clacked against her front teeth because her hand was trembling. Smooth!
“I wouldn’t go that far. I think he’d like to wring Dornan’s neck for interrupting us, same as I would. If he hadn’t shown up when he did, we might’ve been making love to you by now.”
Boom! Instant mini orgasm!
“You would? I mean, we...”
“Yeah, Jess. We wanted to make love to you tonight. Bella is sound asleep and perfectly safe. Anything tries to come in this house or harm you, and they’re going to have to go through us. Tank is monitoring the surveillance system from his tablet, which he took with him, and our house security system is armed, and you have me, as well. You don’t have to be afraid.”
They’d done their best to handle her worries, to understand her insecurities. The least she could do was try. “Where will you sit?”
“Honey, I’m just grateful you allowed me in the bathroom with you when you’re so vulnerable. I’ll sit anywhere you want me to, even on the tile floor if that’s what you want.”
“What if I wanted you to come into the tub with me? Is that silly?”
Quirking an eyebrow at her, he practically ripped his long-sleeved T-shirt off. “Sounds fucking fabulous to me.”
She couldn’t ignore the thickening at his groin, and he grinned when he caught her staring at his crotch. “Don’t worry about that. I can even leave my jeans on if you want.”
“No, that’s silly. I just...”
“What?” he said, pausing in the midst of unbuttoning his fly. “Did I scare you by jumping up? I don’t want to rush you.”
“It’s not that. It’s just...well...it’s like the elephant in the room.”
He chuckled as he unzipped. “He’s not quite that big, but thanks.”
She giggled when he pivoted and smirked at her over his shoulder, giving her a dorky striptease, peeling down his jeans and showing off his red-and-white-striped Jockey shorts.
“I figured you for a basic white briefs kind of guy. I like the stripes. Are you gearing up for the Christmas season?”
He chuckled as he adjusted the dimmer switch to lower the lights. “Under other circumstances I’d make a crack about having a candy cane for you, but...”
“You just did,” she snarked, her confidence growing as the nerves and accompanying shakiness faded with her laughter. This was his gift, setting her at ease in what might otherwise have been a nerve-wracking moment. She took another sip of wine and noted that her hands didn’t tremble nearly as much. She gazed down into the glass and gave him a moment to finish undressing and get into the tub without her staring at him.
“Babe?”
She looked up and he was standing by the tub, his hands hooked in his waistband. His erection was impossible to ignore, trapped beneath the knit fabric. “I want you to look at me. I want you to see this is going to be okay. I also don’t want you retreating into other memories, okay?”
“Okay.” She kept her eyes locked on his, and he smiled tenderly at her.
“Have you been made love to since you were held captive?”
Way to steal the oxygen in the room, cowboy.
“I...uh...”
“Don’t look away, baby. This is just me.”
She nodded and then shook her head, unsure what to respond to first as he peeled his shorts off, revealing his thick, ruddy erection, sprouting from a garden of fiery red curls. She could practically feel the heat emanating from it as it bobbed when he kicked the underwear aside. He eased a hand over it to still it and climbed without preamble into the tub.
“You were saying?” he inquired as he settled into the opposite corner of the tub and scooped water over his shoulders and chest, wetting down the red hair on his chest.
“No. I—uh—I tried. I had a long-term relationship when I was taken. We were engaged.”
“You’ve never talked about a fiancé before.”
“To be honest, I try not to think of Bob. Things ended after I came back. By the time I left the hospital, my pregnancy was confirmed, and there was all the legal stuff to deal with, like interviews with law enforcement and reporters nosing around our house for a story. It was hard on him. He tried, for a few weeks, while it all sank in. I think he felt sorry for me, or he might’ve left sooner.” An ugly sob escaped her throat, and she clapped a damp hand over her mouth to keep another from coming out.
Troy’s large hand was warm and comforting on her bare knee as he cupped it. “Baby, you don’t have to talk about it.”
“I’m so sick of that small bit of my past dictating how I live.”
“Tell me everything, if it’ll help you.” He sat back and nodded for her to continue, a sparkle of admiration in his eyes adding to her confidence.
“I tried with him, tried to pretend like nothing had happened, sort of…fake it until you make it, you know? I bought a sexy nightgown, laid out the whole candlelight meal and seduction thing, and it just felt ridiculous. Bob couldn’t even get an erection, and he slept on the couch that night. We ended it the next day.”
“Honey,” he murmured as his hand slid down her calf and stroked her foot, squeezing and massaging it with a light touch.
“It’s okay. I had a feeling it was doomed from the moment he walked in the hospital room the first time. I had extensive bruising all over, and living rough the way I had, well…it took a toll on my body. I was changing in the bathroom, and he barged in there and saw all the marks and bruises. I saw the horror on his face. Heck, I was horrified by the sight of myself in the mirror. I couldn’t really blame him. It was a shock.”
She shook her head, trying to eradicate the memory of the purple, black, red, blue, and ghoulish fading green and yellow bruises that had covered her hips and thighs. The twin black eyes that had framed a haunted gaze she didn’t at first recognize. The cracked rib that had made breathing painful and the fragile skin of her wrists and ankles rubbed raw from the restraints. With one look at her, he’d turned to the toilet and vomited.
“But he left you—because of what had happened to you—through no fault of your own?”
“It was mutual, Troy. I didn’t want him looking at me and remembering. He couldn’t get past how repulsive I’d looked—”
“Repulsive!” he practically shouted but then lowered his voice as he glanced at the door. He was quiet for a moment, listening for a hint that he’d woken Bella.
“Don’t worry. She could sleep through World War Three. For some weird reason, those images stayed with me. I know exactly the spots that were the worst, took the longest to heal, the bruises that went bone deep, the way the blood traveled just under my skin. I’ll never be able to get those images out of my head, and I guess he couldn’t either.”
“Jess, I’ve seen my share of trauma in Iraq and then in Afghanistan, on the battlefield, in homes, in hospitals. And not just from the enemy either. Fighting in areas where women, children, old people were used as human shields…it stays with you. Sometimes I wake up in a cold sweat. But if you were mine, and for some godforsaken reason you ever got hurt, I’d never leave you because you were a victim of abuse. Any kind of abuse. Your ex deserved to lose you. Hell, he made the damage worse.”
Funny, how knowing someone else could understand that made the pain worse but also made it a little better. She stroked the top of his foot, resting on the bottom of the tub, and wrapped her hand around his ankle, appreciating his solid, strong presence grounding her.
“Then there wa
s the matter of Bella. It was obvious that being pregnant by my abuser, no matter how I felt about the baby, was going to be a problem for him. I refused to abort when he asked if I planned to. It was not an option for me. She was an innocent in all of it. I couldn’t make her pay for what had happened to me,” she added, her voice hitching as she thought of all the joy Bella had brought into her life.
“Come here,” he murmured. “I want to hold you. I promise to behave.” She let him pull her into his lap, the hair on his legs tickling her, and she tightened up a little when she felt the heat and hardness of his erection at her hip, and she looked at him.
“Um…sorry.”
“Ignore that horn dog. He knows a good thing when he’s near it, but he’s not getting any unless you say he does.”
Giggles rippled through her in an oddly comforting wave. It felt good to laugh with him, almost as good as the wave of hope that grew from a flicker to a flame. “I love how you talk about your male anatomy like he’s a person.”
“I call him Dick.”
The laughter burst from her in gales until he put his hand over her mouth and shushed her.
“You’re gonna wake the baby and—”
She snorted loudly and finished his thought for him. “Then Dick gets cock-blocked?”
“Well, yeah. He’s an opportunist, not a saint, sheesh!” he replied, laughing along with her.
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and nestled closer, breathing in the mixture of sunshine and clean musk on his skin. This was the most intimate she’d ever been with a man, apart from actual sex. “Bob wasn’t much for sharing bubble baths or glasses of wine with me,” she murmured before draining her wineglass. “Have you considered that you’re setting yourself up for high expectations from me? I could get used to things like sharing a bath with you.”
“Or Tank?” he asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I can picture it. Yes. I hear from my friends in ménage groups that they prefer sleeping together in one bed. I like that idea.”
Operation Ginger Avenger Page 15