by Janice Lynn
“Hell.”
Kimberly’s eyes opened. “Daniel?”
“I didn’t use a condom.”
Her troubled gaze met his and she softly smiled. “It’s okay, Daniel. What’s the likelihood of you making me pregnant the only time we’ve had sex without a condom?”
“Apparently I made you pregnant with a condom, so you tell me,” he said, doing up his jeans.
“It’s the wrong time of the month.” But she looked away, making him wonder if she was telling the truth. Then again, he might just be suspicious because she’d lied to him for half of her life. Lied and cheated him of his son.
“Good.” The last thing they needed was for her to get pregnant again before they resolved the issues between them.
Which drew him up short.
Was that what he wanted? To resolve the issues between them? And if so, resolve them to what end?
At the moment he hated her, yet he’d carried her to the sofa and buried his sorrows in her delectable body with little hesitation.
Because he’d wanted her, had thought they had a chance of starting over, had believed in what was between them.
Nothing but lies was between them.
Lies and a teenage son.
“Why did you just have sex with me?”
She blinked startled green eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why did we just have sex on my office sofa?”
Her cheeks pink, she sat up and straightened her clothing. “What kind of question is that, Daniel?”
“One I’d like an answer to.”
She sighed, then looked at him. Sadness touched her eyes as she reached out to caress his face. “Please, don’t tear apart what we just shared or ask me to explain what I don’t understand myself.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
KIMBERLY knew the consequences of having unprotected sex.
Yet she’d welcomed Daniel into her arms without any thought of protection.
She was a nurse, for goodness’ sake. She knew the risks, knew all the reasons to use a barrier, yet she’d just lost herself in giving herself to Daniel, in easing his heartache. And pleasure—she’d lost herself in that, too.
She’d been totally irresponsible.
“What we just shared?” Daniel snorted, doing up his pants. “We had sex on my office sofa like a couple of teenagers.”
Blood rushed to her face and she tired of holding in her feelings for him. She steeled herself to exposing her heart.
“I made love to you, Daniel, because I love you.”
He snorted again. Louder than before.
“I’ve never stopped loving you,” she continued.
He rolled his eyes, clearly not believing her.
“I always will love you.”
“A man could do without your kind of love.”
“I was scared, Daniel, little more than a child myself. If you can’t understand my fear, that’s your problem.”
“I can’t believe you didn’t call me to tell me, Kimberly.” He grimaced. “Did you think I’d turn my back on you to punish you for breaking up with me?”
She averted her eyes, felt his gaze burning into her.
“You knew?” The two words came out in a horrified accusation. “You knew you were pregnant when you broke things off with me?” He paused. “You would have been around four or five months pregnant when I came home that Christmas. You knew?”
“I knew,” she admitted unnecessarily.
“And you didn’t tell me? You pushed me out of your life for some other man, knowing that my baby grew inside you?”
“There was no other man and you have no idea what it was like to be seventeen, pregnant and a thousand miles away from the person you most needed at your side.”
“All you had to do was tell me and I’d have been on a plane home.”
“Which was exactly why I couldn’t tell you. Why I had to break things off between us.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“That you needed to finish school.”
“I could have done that with you by my side.”
“And lost your scholarship.”
“I’d have figured something out.”
“I didn’t want you to have to figure something out. I wanted you to have your dream.”
He took his time answering, which made her wonder if she was getting through to him.
“What about your dreams, Kimberly?”
A small smile lifted her lips. “You were my dream, Daniel. The only one that ever mattered, until Ryan came along. Any time I got discouraged at the craziness of having a baby, going to school and working, I thought of you. It gave me strength to do what needed to be done.”
“I should have been with you.”
“You were needed here. Saving lives and making a difference in the world.”
“A difference in the world? Do you think that’s important when my own son doesn’t know me?”
“You’d have hated me for stealing your dream.”
“I’d have found new dreams.”
“No, you wouldn’t have.” She remained adamant. “Not on this.”
He leaned back against the sofa, raked a hand through his hair. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You needed to do this because of your father, Daniel. Don’t deny it because we both know it’s true.”
“My father?” He frowned. “He has nothing to do with why you didn’t tell me I had a son.”
“Doesn’t he?” She bit her tongue. Dragging Leona into this would just be wrong.
“What does that mean?”
“I know about your father, Daniel. That you were the one who found him, that you blamed yourself, and that’s why you wanted to go into cardiology. I know that.”
“You know nothing.”
“I know every time you operate on someone you’re battling to save your father.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. You’re trying to distract me from the facts here. The facts being that you deceived me and stole my son.”
“I didn’t steal Ryan. You gave him to me of your own free will.”
“Oh, is that how a judge will see it?”
“A judge?” Now she was the one who sounded horrified. “You’re going to seek custody?”
“What would you do if you were in my shoes?”
She’d want to get to know her son. She couldn’t blame him for wanting the same. But custody?
She struggled for breath. “You could visit us in Atlanta.”
“Visit?” His brow lifted. “I have fourteen years to make up for. Visiting isn’t going to cut it.”
“It’s the best I can offer.”
“Hardly. You could ask for a transfer to Boston. If Cardico’s crazy enough to lose you, you could work on the cardiology floor here.”
“Transfer?” Her mind reeled from the implications of what he was saying. “I can’t transfer.”
“Why not?”
“Ryan loves his school. Moving would mean leaving his friends, his sports teams.” She met his gaze. She’d better let him know right now that usurping Ryan’s life for his convenience wasn’t an option. Not any more than discovering his father would already do. “I won’t turn Ryan’s life upside down, Daniel.”
“You already have, Kimberly. You cheated him out of knowing me, out of having a father. Does he even know I’m alive?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” He sounded surprised. “What does he know?”
“That I got pregnant by my high school sweetheart. I told him you were a good man, but things didn’t work out.”
“So he thinks I just left him?”
“No.” She shook her head. “He knows you had other commitments.”
“Other commitments? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“University.”
“He thinks I abandoned him to go to college?”
“No.” She shook her head, wincing. “We d
on’t talk about this, Daniel. We haven’t for years and years. When he was small he asked me about his father and I told him you were a good man, but had other commitments. He’s never asked about you since.”
Daniel winced. “He thinks I’m a jerk who walked out on a woman he made pregnant.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
He grabbed her arms. “How do you know that if you haven’t talked with him about me in years?”
Good point. “I just know.” But did she? She and Ryan hadn’t talked about Daniel since he’d been in kindergarten. For that matter, why hadn’t her son asked more questions? She’d always expected him to but had counted herself fortunate not to have to field her son’s curiosity about his father.
“You know nothing.”
A loud knock on Daniel’s office door had Kimberly jumping, but Daniel seemed unmoved. His hands still clutched her arms.
“Daniel?” Gregory called.
“Go away,” Daniel ordered, his angry eyes not leaving her.
The door handle turned and Gregory stepped in un-invited. “I didn’t realize you had company.”
But Gregory didn’t leave, just stared at them. Worry filled his eyes. “Hey, man, what’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
Gregory’s gaze dropped to where Daniel’s fingers were digging into Kimberly’s arms. Daniel didn’t let go and sent his friend a warning look.
“You okay?” Gregory addressed Kimberly, looking back and forth between them.
She shook her head. She wasn’t okay and Daniel’s fingers were starting to bite into her flesh.
“Daniel? What’s going on?”
Daniel’s hands dropped to his sides. “Was there something in particular you wanted?”
Gregory hesitated a moment. He sighed, looked defeated at the news he’d come to deliver. “Ken Reynolds crashed on the operating table. I tried everything I knew to do, but I couldn’t bring him back.”
Weary with fatigue, Kimberly made her way to the cardiac lab.
Nervous flutters made her feel nauseous.
How would Daniel react to seeing her this morning? He’d disappeared while she’d sat in the waiting room, waiting with Beverly and Devon for their family to arrive to take them home.
She’d cried until she’d had no more tears to cry as she’d held the sobbing woman. When Beverly had gone into hysterics and Kimberly and one of the nurses had insisted she go to the emergency room, Kimberly had sat with Devon. When he’d woken up, she’d taken him to his mother and stayed until Beverly’s parents had arrived.
She hadn’t seen Daniel since he’d let go of her arms and she’d rushed to find Beverly. Gregory had stayed with Daniel in his office. When Kimberly had returned much later, they’d both left.
Daniel. Daniel. Daniel.
Part of her felt relief that he finally knew everything about Ryan and the way she felt about him.
Not that he’d acknowledged her love, but having told him everything in her heart made her feel freer than she had in years.
She’d been meeting Daniel each morning outside his cardiology clinic, waiting with Trina until Daniel arrived. With it being Saturday, the clinic was closed and she made her way to the women employees’ locker room on the cardiac floor and changed into hospital scrubs. She’d go straight to the cardiac lab.
She would have loved the opportunity to talk with Daniel last night after consoling Mrs. Reynolds, but maybe he’d needed time alone to think about the things she’d told him. Perhaps that’s why he hadn’t joined them in the waiting room, as she’d expected him to do eventually.
Although she suspected it had had more to do with facing Devon Reynolds’s grief.
Kimberly went to the cardiac lab, but found the room empty.
Going to the closest nurses’ station, she offered a small smile.
“Can you tell me if Dr. Travis’s procedures for this morning have been relocated?”
The nurse gave a surprised look. “Dr. Travis has already left for the day.”
Kimberly glanced at her watch. Eight forty-five. The first procedure was scheduled for nine.
“Already left? The pacemaker placements were canceled?”
“No, Dr. Travis bumped up the schedule. He finished the last patient this morning at seven.”
He’d already finished? “He’ll be by later to discharge the patients, then?”
“Actually, he mentioned that Dr. Jessup would be covering for him for the rest of the day and would come by this afternoon to discharge the two patients who’ll be going home. Mrs. Johnson will be staying overnight for observation.”
Kimberly took a deep breath. “So Dr. Travis won’t be back at the hospital today?”
The nurse shook her head. “Not that I know of.”
And she was leaving this afternoon.
That’s when Kimberly remembered just how little she knew about Daniel’s life.
She didn’t have his home number, didn’t have his address. Nothing.
“I know you’ve seen me in here with Dr. Travis this week. I work at Cardico and will be leaving this afternoon. Is it possible for you to have Dr. Travis paged for me?”
The nurse looked undecided. “Is it an emergency? I’m really not supposed to.”
“You can’t page him unless it’s an emergency?”
“No.”
“Then, yes, it’s an emergency.”
Kimberly stood at the counter, waiting for Daniel to respond to his page. When the phone rang, her stomach jumped.
The nurse answered, explained to Daniel why she’d called. Her eyes cut to Kimberly, her cheeks reddened, and she hung up. “He doesn’t want to talk to you.”
Kimberly’s mouth dropped open.
“He said that if you needed anything related to Cardico for you to have Dr. Jessup paged.”
“Page him.” If Gregory was covering for Daniel, he might be somewhere in the hospital.
“Are you sure?” The nurse didn’t appear to want to page Gregory. “Dr. Travis was upset that I’d bothered him about you.”
About her. The mother of his son and he wouldn’t speak to her.
“I’m sure. Page him.”
Before leaving the hospital, Kimberly stopped by the ICU. Peyton and Cathy Clark sat in the waiting area. Peyton was playing with a handheld video game and barely looked up when she entered the area.
“Kimberly, how nice to see you.” Cathy smiled in recognition. “Have you heard the good news?”
“No.” But she could definitely use some good news.
“Aaron woke up last night and asked for Peyton.”
The boy glanced up at them, but went back to his game.
“That’s wonderful!” Kimberly exclaimed, excited that the family had received good news.
“Apparently he thought Peyton was shot, too. He was so relieved to see him.” Cathy reached over and patted her son’s thigh. “Dr. Travis came by this morning and says Aaron will probably be able to transfer to a regular hospital room tomorrow. Isn’t that wonderful?”
“Wonderful.” Daniel had been there and she’d missed him. “I’m so happy for you.”
One man had regained a bit of his life during the night and another had lost his.
“I came by to say goodbye as I go home this afternoon. I’m glad I did because I got to hear your good news.”
She spoke with Cathy a few more minutes. A nurse came in to announce they could visit with Aaron as he was awake and asking for his wife and son.
Kimberly hugged Cathy goodbye, smiled at Peyton and watched them hurry to room three, where Aaron Clark was awake and waiting.
Kimberly left the hospital, going to search for Daniel so she could tell him one last time what was in her heart.
“Ryan,” Kimberly greeted her son the moment she walked through the security checkpoint, thinking he’d grown a foot during the week she’d been in Boston.
She also thought he looked more like Daniel than ever.
Daniel. She h
ad so much to tell Ryan. Yet she had no idea how she was going to tell him that she’d spent the last week with his father.
That his father knew about him and had decided to shut them out of his life.
At least that’s what she had been left to assume from her conversation with Gregory. Daniel hadn’t responded to any of her attempts to contact him that morning.
She’d convinced Gregory to give her Daniel’s home address and phone number, but he either wasn’t at home or wasn’t answering his door and phone.
She engulfed all six feet one of her son in a hug, then realized he was holding flowers.
“What have you got?”
“Tyler’s mom made me.” He gave a dimpled grin that said otherwise. “I didn’t put up too much of a fight as I figured it would win me brownie points when I start bugging you to get my driver’s permit.”
Kimberly laughed and hugged him again. “I missed you.”
“I couldn’t tell.” His lips twitched in perfect imitation of Daniel.
“Oh, Ryan.” Her eyes watered and she held him tight.
“Mom?” he asked when she didn’t let go.
Kimberly sniffled, trying to get her act together because the Atlanta airport wasn’t the place to break down and spill a fifteen-year-old secret.
“Mom?” he repeated when she still didn’t let go.
Kimberly pulled back, straightened her shoulders and gave a smile that was meant to be brave but wobbled too much to win any awards. “Did I mention that I missed you?”
He gave her a funny look, the one that said he saw more than she was letting on. Then, perhaps sensing she needed it, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’m glad you’re home, Mom.”
“Me, too, Ryan.” She raised the flowers, inhaled their sweet fragrance. “Let’s go get my bags. We have a lot to catch up on.”
That night, Kimberly stretched out on the sofa, listening to Ryan go on and on about the things he and Tyler had done during the week.
She tried to remain focused, but her mind kept slipping back to thoughts of Daniel.
What was he doing? Was he okay? Did he really hate her so much that he hadn’t been able to bear seeing her again? And what about Ryan?
He’d said he was going to seek custody.
With him refusing to see her again, did that mean he’d changed his mind? Or just that he didn’t plan to see her outside the courtroom?