Edward wasn't convinced. “I think I will invite them over to stay. Just for a while. Until Lucy is better and everything is in order.”
Suzanne scowled. “I'm not sure that's a good idea.”
“Why not? You live with me.”
“I am your sister. But two unattached women staying at your home? That sounds like trouble. Besides, if they are truly poor and desperate, they could lead you astray. I know how much you prefer Lucy to all my respectable women friends. I am sure it would take little effort for her to marry you and live comfortably off your money, without ever lifting a finger again. All meanwhile my poor friends remain so desperately single...”
Edward growled slightly at Suzanne's lack of consideration for Lucy. “Well, who knows, maybe I will marry her.” He stood up and took the letter towards the office.
“Now, don't be ridiculous, Edward-” Suzanne started. But he was out the room before he could hear her finish.
Marry her... And why not? The more he thought about it, the less Edward saw it as an empty threat to his sister and the more it became an obvious solution. Lucy and her mother would leave that wretched place, he would finally be married and Suzanne would have to find someone of her own and stop leeching off him.
He penned his reply as carefully as possible.
“Dearest Lucy,
I am sorry to hear you have been unwell and I am glad to hear that by the grace of God you have been healed. You are a truly remarkable woman. Someone as strong and faithful as you is a rare gem.
Please, do not think I am being too forward, but I must ask you: would you consider marrying me? I would be very happy if you and your mother moved here to live with me in my home.
Now, I know we have not seen each other in a very long time and I do not expect you to be at all excited at the prospect of marrying someone who is almost a stranger to you.
But we have known each other for many years through our letters and I have grown quite attached to you. I greatly appreciate your intelligence, humor and friendship and you are the one I have been comparing all my sister’s friends to whenever she tries to find me a wife.
This seems like the perfect solution and I know our friendship and deep respect for each other will blossom and deepen even more during our marriage.
Please pray deeply about this, Lucy. I feel it is the perfect solution all round and hope you feel it is also God’s will. If you do not want to marry me or to move, I will have to try my best to accept and live with that. But I couldn't live with myself another day without asking you to be my wife.
Thank you, Lucy.
Yours always,
Edward.”
Edward felt fairly confident that this letter would be received with appreciation, even if it took Lucy completely by surprise. Even if she decided to turn down his offer. He sealed it carefully and took it to the hallway, to be posted with all his other correspondence as soon as possible.
But just as he left the hallway, a pair of feet silently moved over to the table. Suzanne looked around before taking the letter and then shuffled back to the privacy of her room.
Once there, she opened the letter and read it. This would not do. If Edward married Lucy then he wouldn't marry any of Suzanne's friends. That horrible poor woman would suck up all his money and Suzanne would have to find a husband of her own, move out of her brother's house...
None of this would do.
After reading the letter, Suzanne cast it onto the fire and pressed it in with the poker until it was nothing but ash. She retained only the envelope.
Then, she carefully penned her own reply.
Chapter 7 – Two Extremes
Lucy was terrified.
She had no idea what other options there were for her any more.
She had convinced Mama to postpone her initiation into the club for another few weeks as she finished recovering and applied for as many other jobs as possible. But work prospects were slim enough for skilled and capable people, let alone uneducated young women like her.
Whenever she found a job opening, she was under qualified for it. She had no social strings to pull to help her get what she wanted nor to gain some influence. And whenever it looked like someone might be about to consider training her, her permanent address put them off. Nobody wanted to hire someone who lived at a brothel.
Lucy was running out of options. And Mama was getting impatient.
“It's not so bad, the work.” Mama insisted. “And between the two of us, we'd get paid so well we could move somewhere nicer and eat meat and bread every day if we wanted to.”
“But it isn't Godly or respectable work.” Lucy sighed. “I can't do that. I wanted to save myself for my husband.”
“What husband, Lucy? There are no suitors for the likes of us.” Mama whispered hoarsely.
“Then for God, for my own soul. I cannot have intercourse with any man that isn't my husband. It isn't as God intended.”
“What does God intend, then, Lucy? For us to starve?” Mama was in tears, almost broken down.
“There are more chances, more opportunities than that. We will find something.” Lucy’s growing desperation and worry, underneath her outer confidence and calm over the last few weeks, was wearing her down. She had prayed and prayed and gone everywhere she could think of in hopes of finding a job. Slowly, she was losing her will to fight.
“Like what? No other place of employment will have you. We've tried. There's nothing else.”
“Then maybe we ought to find a nunnery.”
Mama sighed. “Would a nunnery take an old sinner like me?”
“Of course. God loves all his children.”
“Life would be hard, Lucy. As hard as now, perhaps even worse.”
“With God and our sister nuns by our side, it would be made easier.”
Mama considered. “Perhaps... perhaps that is the way.”
Lucy smiled and went to write an updated letter to Edward. It was too late to post it, but she could always send it in the morning.
“Dearest Edward,
Mama and I are much better now. My illness is almost completely gone, though I do have a heavy chest and a cough still.
I have been trying to find good work for a while now, but nothing seems quite right and the establishments where I could get a good job are reluctant to have me due to the area I live in. Our only option, realistically, is moving, but we haven't the money to start over anywhere.
So for that reason, Mama and I have decided to join a nunnery. This way we can live a Godly life despite any evils the world and the Enemy throw at us.
I will update you once I am sure of where we will be living.
I am sure you are happy for us, but I may need to be more careful about my correspondence with you when I am a nun. As a Godly man and a friend, I am certain they will allow me to continue writing you.
Yours in prayer,
Lucy.”
Lucy read and re-read the letter. That would be enough. She felt a longing to be able to talk to Edward, to share her full joy with him. She wished she was able to tell him in person how much better everything was about to become.
Now she had persuaded Mama to join a nunnery, they ought to be safe and soon they would be once again living according to God's way.
Lucy sat up and put her hands together.
“Dear Lord, I know you have much work left in this world of yours. We human beings are so sinful and wretchedly destroying, but I just wanted to thank you.
“Thank you for persuading Mama to leave this sinful life and go on a path to goodness and repentance. Thank you for saving my soul from this awful place. Thank you for blessing me with health and with a friend like Edward. You do so much good in the world. Amen.”
Lucy sighed and curled up in a little ball on the mattress to keep herself as warm as possible under her light blanket as she fell asleep.
She was up bright and early the next morning to post her letter to Edward. But on her way out the door she bumped into
the postman, who handed her a pile of letters.
Feeling slightly off-put, she wandered back inside to push each letter underneath the door of each of the women who had received one.
When she got to their door number, she saw at the top of the pile what seemed to be Edward's handwriting. It was hard to tell as it was a bit untidy and smudged, but she felt certain of it. Lucy wandered inside and opened the letter.
“Dear Lucy,
I am so very, very, immensely happy to inform you that I have found myself a good wife. She is a respectable, upper-class woman of excellent breeding and education. I was a fool not to see her as a wife in the making, but thanks to my dearest sister, I have begun to realize she is the one for me.
However, I cannot keep up this charade any longer. If I am to be married we must cut all ties. I cannot be talking to unmarried women behind my wife's back, especially when these women are not of enough class to be considered my wife's friends. It would be an insult to her.
So, it is with joy that I inform you I am to be married and married well. But it is with remorse that I ask you never to write to me again.
Farewell, Lucy.
Sincerely,
Edward.”
Lucy could hardly believe it. Surely it was good news that Edward was getting married? And she and Mama were leaving to join a nunnery. She did not understand why she felt so bad but all of a sudden, she had such an intense pain in her chest that it brought tears to her eyes.
Chapter 8 – Deception Turned Up
Edward awaited Lucy's response eagerly at first. Of course she would reply. Even if it was to say no, to refuse him, she would reply in her usual sweet manner, apologizing profusely for declining his offer of marriage.
Lucy was too gentle, too sweet to act otherwise. And hopefully she would not decline him. Hopefully she would want to marry him, thank him deeply and joyfully and agree to be his wife.
Edward couldn't help himself. Lately he caught himself daydreaming more and more about married life with Lucy. He didn't know how she looked any more, but he imagined she looked the way her mother looked when they were both younger: a curvy woman with long, long, long brown hair, hazel eyes and smooth skin, dressed modestly and sweetly in plain dresses with flower brooches.
Lucy would swoon about the house, talk to him in a gentle voice, read to him from his books and fuss over the decoration and cleanliness of their home.
Yes, Lucy would make a wonderful wife. And he was sure he would make a wonderful husband also. And as long as Lucy saw that, all would be well.
But as the days passed without response, Edward grew more and more dejected.
“Perhaps I should write her another letter.” He muttered to himself over tea.
Suzanne jerked her head up, startled at the thought. “Why?”
“Well, she hasn't responded. Perhaps my last letter was lost in the post? Or perhaps her reply was lost?”
“But you can't be sure of that. What if she just isn't replying?” Suzanne laughed nervously.
“Why wouldn't she?”
Suzanne shrugged. “What did you say to her?”
“I asked whether she would marry me and come and live with me, so that she and her mother no longer have to live in poverty in that terrible place.”
Suzanne shook her head as she took a large bite of her slice of cake.
“What is it?”
“Perhaps you just scared her off? I mean, it is insulting enough to suggest she had no good reason for staying, but to be so... forward about marriage. Few decent women would respond to such a letter. She doesn't want to insult you, but she doesn't want to favor you either.”
“Are you sure?” Edward asked, incredulous, accidentally spilling his tea by pouring too much milk into it.
“Of course I am. I mean I wouldn't go along with something like that. It's just indecent.”
“But what if the letter really did go missing? Lucy is hardly you or your friends. She is a different sort of a woman. I need to get some sort of confirmation, some sort of a reply.”
“Oh, men and your egos. Can't you just accept a rejection?” Suzanne sighed.
“Lucy wouldn't reject me like that. I know her.” Edward reached for another sandwich.
Suzanne grit her teeth. “Why would you want to be married to a woman who agreed to marry someone she hadn't seen in years, just because she was too poor to look after herself?”
“I want to be married to Lucy.” Edward put down his sandwich and stood up. “I will go and write her another letter.”
“That sounds like a terrible idea to me.” Suzanne replied.
“Good.” And Edward walked off.
“Dearest Lucy,
I am not sure whether our last exchange was complete. Perhaps you never received my letter, or perhaps your response never got to me. Perhaps you did not wish to reply. Whatever the case, I will repeat myself once more here.
I would very much like to take you and your mother away from the life you're leading. I believe a good woman like you should lead a good life with a man like me.
Now, I would never expect a decent, Godly woman to live under my roof as a single lady. Instead, I would like to ask for your hand in marriage. I promise I will honor you as my wife and the Lord as our Father and treat you both as good women deserve to be treated. I have known you all my life and we continue to be good friends, despite only having our letters to sustain us.
I also want to help you because it is the rightful, Christian thing to do. If this proposal of marriage finds favor with you, please write me at once and I will send a carriage to collect you both so as to ensure your highest safety and comfort on your journey here. We will then marry on the same day you arrive so as to assure you of my highest intentions.
If my offer offends you, I apologize and request your forgiveness right now. But if you do not wish to marry me, I ask you to send me a single letter to let me know you have received my offer and decline it. After that I will gladly leave you and your mother in peace to live your lives, if that is what you would prefer.
Yours impatiently,
Edward.”
Once it was done, Edward was hesitant to have it posted. Hesitant because what if Suzanne was right? What if Lucy replied asking never to talk to him again? Then she wouldn't be Lucy. Then she wouldn't be the sort of woman he believed her to be.
And if Lucy was anything like Suzanne and her dreadful friends, if the sweet woman in the letters was all his imagination... then he didn't want to marry her. He didn't want to end up trapped in a marriage with a snobbish, selfish, rude harpy.
Whatever the result of sending the letter, he would have his answer.
Edward sealed the envelope and handed it to his footman, to be posted immediately. As the man rode off down the lane, Suzanne appeared in the hall.
“So are you writing that letter or not?”
“I have already written and posted it.” Edward smiled.
Suzanne went a bit pale. “Already?” She turned around and huffed loudly in disapproval. “What a mess.”
“How so? I will get my answer.”
“Just don't come crying to me if it all falls apart.” Suzanne muttered. “If I were you I'd get that letter back.”
“But you are not me, are you?”
Chapter 9 – Hope Dashed Again
Lucy had found the nearest convent to be only a few towns away. It was the Sisters of Saint Agnes Convent and she was excited to be writing to them.
“You'll see, Mama, life will be so much better. It will be far nicer to be poor with God by our side than to be poor without Him.”
“I just... I am not sure.”
“How so? You were so excited for it until now.” Lucy smiled. “I can tell that the Holy Ghost has been whispering to you at night as well.”
“It's just that... in the Convent we would rely on charity and the nuns. We would be completely dependent and should anything befall anyone, it would befall us as well.”
“Mama
, that's a very selfish way of looking at things. Of course we share our misery, but we would share our triumphs and our happiness as well. Every burden would be divided and lighter and every joy would be multiplied and greater.”
“But Lucy... I am not ready to share someone else's burdens. I have enough of my own burdens.”
“Every burden is heavier without the Lord, Mama. Everything will be better once we are living a good, moral, Godly life.” Lucy sighed deeply. “Please, we cannot stay here.”
“I can. If you cannot, then you may leave. If you do not work, then at least by leaving it's one less mouth for me to feed.”
Lucy could tell Mama had no meanness in her words. She could tell that Mama was hurting. “Mama, you can come with me. We have to stay together. We are all each other has. We need each other.” Tears came to Lucy's eyes.
“Lucy, I don't think I can do this.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Lucy choking back the tears and Mama resting her head in her hands, breathing heavily.
“Lucy, I am going to work.” Mama finally interrupted. “You write to the Convent. I will get you a carriage out of tonight's money. You can get there as soon as tomorrow.”
Mama bustled about the house gathering a few things she needed before leaving, closing the door with a quiet bump behind her. As soon as Lucy heard the door close, she broke into tears.
“Dear God, don't let this happen. Don't let me be separated from Mama. Don't let us stay in this awful place. We need to be free. Please, God, give us something, anything. I'll accept anything but this.”
Lucy couldn't write the letter to the convent. Not yet. Not if Mama was refusing to go. Instead, she washed the whole house down, praying whenever she felt the weight on her chest growing. She needed a way out and fast, before Mama was trapped forever.
Lucy's Faith (Faith To Victory Inspirational Historical Romance 1) Page 3