NOTHING LASTS FOREVER
A St. Skin Novel
Jaxson Kidman
London Casey
Contents
Welcome to the world of St. Skin.
Nothing Lasts Forever
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
From the authors:
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Welcome to the world of St. Skin.
From the minds of two bestselling authors comes a book and series about love, redemption, and finding fate in the place where you’d least expect to find it. Welcome to Hundred Falls Valley and the world of St. Skin.
Worldwide bestselling series!
No reader order required!
Written by London Casey and Jaxson Kidman
Series titles (in order of publication date):
In Her Words
A Boy I Used to Love
Secret Exposure
Our Last Road
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Nothing Lasts Forever
The wedding ring was supposed to mean forever.
AXEL: Think about it – in one swing of fate’s hammer, I lost everything. The love I knew. The love I was going to know. Everything. I signed the divorce papers only because she signed them first. She wanted out. My heart was shattered. It was supposed to give us a chance to start over. There was only one problem… I wasn’t done loving her.
SHELBY: Tall, strong, tattoos, asking me to spend the rest of my life with him. A sane woman would have backed away then. I didn’t. I was too close. Too in love. Too caught up in everything Axel and his bad attitude had to offer. Maybe getting divorced wasn’t the surprise… maybe the reason why we got divorced wasn’t the surprise… maybe the surprise is how right now my mind is thinking about a second chance at forever with him.
One
*YEARS AGO*
AXEL
1.
This is what it all came down to. Standing in the kitchen of our first apartment, the place that we were supposed to remember as being where we truly fell in love and decided to dabble in that whole forever thing. Now there were a couple of boxes on the counter, flaps open, and a random dirty sponge resting on the ledge of the kitchen sink. Hell, even the ugly curtains above the kitchen window were gone. I had already stood there and looked out of the small window. There wasn’t much to see. It was a straight shot view across the street to the next apartment building, an exact twin of this one.
But how many times did I catch her standing at the sink, washing dishes or drinking a cup of tea at night, looking at the window in the dark as though she could see out. And how many times did I sneak up behind her and slip my hands onto her hips and gently press my body against hers. If she was washing dishes, I would pry the dirty dish and the sponge out of her hands. I’d turn off the water. I’d move her hair to one side of her neck, exposing the other side. I’d press my lips to her skin, softly kissing her, telling her how much I loved her without saying a word. If she was holding a cup of tea, I’d put it on the counter and make some remark about how the tea was going to get cold. For good reason.
Now the sink was empty. The curtains were gone. She was gone too.
I was down to one last box on the table. I had no idea what was going to happen to the table. Not that it mattered. I found the stupid thing at a yard sale and spent hours sanding it down and refinishing it to the tone and color she’d wanted. She did everything to make the apartment feel like a home. The place was now full of ghosts. And not the kind that kids were afraid of in their closets, or the kind that made Halloween scary, yet fun. These ghosts weren’t going to stay in the apartment. They were going to follow me the second I left it. And they were going to keep following me for a long time.
But that’s what I signed up for. That was the promise I made. That was the promise I broke.
I closed the flaps on the last box and carried it to my truck. It sat on the passenger seat like my only friend. I stared at the old brick building one more time. Thinking about the first time we saw the building together. I thought it was a dump. She thought it was a palace. She did everything to convince me that we needed the place together. Truthfully, I wanted more for her. I wanted to give her a real palace. Not this place. But it was all we could swing at that moment. And it became a home. Even when we had the chance to get something bigger, better, or even buy a house, we didn’t do it. We would sit on the couch, talk about moving, smiling at each other, knowing it wasn’t the right time yet.
“The right time,” I whispered.
I laughed.
Oh, damn, did I need to laugh.
Because I had to go inside one last time.
My final goodbye. My eyes looking around at all the hidden spots where we’d steal or share a kiss. Me carrying her up the stairs when she had too much to drink and was giggling like a fool. All the times in that apartment together. Being happy. Healthy. Sad. Sick. Everything in between.
I left the door open as I went inside for my final nod to the apartment that had been home for so long.
That’s when I reached down to my left hand. I gritted my teeth as I twisted and slid the ring off my finger. It dropped to the table, sounding like a quarter spinning and slowly falling.
I wasn’t going to look at the ring, but I did at the last second.
It was my wedding ring.
I looked at my left hand.
A small white line was around my finger where the ring had been.
Time would take care of that stuff though. The mark would fade. I’d get used to not wearing the ring. Maybe even with time, I’d find a way to forgive myself for everything that went wrong.
No matter what though… I left a piece of my heart on that table…
Two
*PRESENT DAY*
AXEL
1.
I looked up at the warm sun and let it spread across my face like an unwelcome guest. I was more or less the unwelcome guest when you really thought about it. Trouble seemed to tag along with me, whether I wanted it or not. When it came time to be at St. Skin, it was all about ink and getting myself about two seconds away from throwing a punch at one of the guys. When it came time to relax a little and settle down, that was all based on the clock. Meaning the second that something even appeared to be happening with another person, I was already planning the next morning and how to get them out of my way.
Take this morning.
She was a beautiful woman. Her heart far too precious for a guy like me to be stomping around on it for too long. It was easier to cut ties after the sting of whiskey was gone. She could wake up, stumble around my place, get some coffee, or maybe just do the right thing and leave.
My head was pounding, and the lack of coffee and too much sun was only making that worse by the second. I growled under my breath as I hooked my thumbs into the pockets of my jeans and walked around the side of the old auto
shop.
Gonzo stood waiting for me, dangling my keys in his hand.
“All set,” he said and tossed the keys into the air.
I caught them and walked toward him to shake his hand.
“Nothing to worry about,” he said.
“I’m not a fan when I hear noises,” I said.
“Which is why you brought it to me. Really early.”
“You know, the morning bird gets the worm and all that.”
“I’m not sure that’s how you say it, Axel,” Gonzo said with a laugh.
“Oh well. I’m not used to getting worms. I’d prefer to sleep and wake up to a hot, greasy sandwich.”
“I second that,” he said. “I’m more of a banana and coffee guy myself in the morning. Then I keep busy until lunch.”
“Healthy man,” I said.
“Nah. Just lazy. I don’t cook.”
I smiled. “You know, you could buy food that’s already cooked.”
“Yeah? They do that now?”
“Smart ass,” I said.
“You’re one to talk,” Gonzo said. “You were worried about a little noise in your truck. That tells me you’ve got a woman in bed at home and you’re waiting for her to leave, huh?”
“Me? I don’t do that kind of thing.”
Gonzo laughed. “Now I know you’re full of shit. Your truck is fine, Axel.”
“How much do I owe you?”
“Nothing,” he said. “You know that.”
“You can’t do things for free all the time,” I said. “You’re going to run yourself out of business.”
He waved a hand. “Don’t worry about me.”
“I never do,” I said. “I barely have time to worry about myself.”
“Why don’t you find yourself a nice woman, Axel?”
“Why don’t you, Gonzo?”
“You know what I went through,” he said.
I stepped forward, towering over him. I slid my sunglasses up to the top of my head. “And you know what I went through.”
“She’s still alive,” Gonzo said.
“Doesn’t lessen what happened,” I threw back.
“I’ll give you this one,” he said. “Only because I have a lot of work to do.”
“Let me give you something for looking at my truck,” I said.
“Handshake works for me,” he said.
“You’re a good guy.”
“You have your moments too,” he said.
“When I keep my mouth shut and tattoo people,” I said.
“There you go. Go and do that then.”
I put my hand out and Gonzo took it.
We shook hands hard, a man’s handshake.
“Take care of yourself, Axel,” Gonzo said.
“You do the same,” I said. “You ever decide to get some ink on those scrawny arms of yours, let me know. I’ll hook you up.”
“Nah,” Gonzo said. “Women love these arms. Nothing fake here.”
I looked left to right at my arms covered in ink. “Are you calling me fake, Gonzo?”
He laughed, shaking his head. He walked away without saying a word.
I always liked Gonzo. We had this unsung type of friendship. He’d lost his wife a while back and did everything possible to stay busy with his garage and helping out around town. Coaching soccer and t-ball, even though he didn’t have kids. For me, I’d lost my wife in a different way. And all I gave a shit about was the next tattoo to finish to prove that I had something to offer the world. All the while I secretly licked my lips, waiting for my next drink, because that would lead to four, which would lead to six, which would lead to the next morning. And another night of escaping her ghost was a night I considered a success.
As I drove away from Gonzo’s garage, leaving it fading into the background in my rearview mirror, I kept my eyes forward. Looking back was sometimes easier because you knew what had already happened. Looking forward was the hard part of it all.
For me though, I knew exactly where today was heading.
I was going to St. Skin.
At least there I felt like I was at home.
2.
River handed a picture back to a woman as she touched the corner of her right eye. He patted her back and offered a big smile before walking her to the door. I opened the door and held it, nodding.
Sometimes, tattoos were for fun. Get some ink on your body for whatever reason you wanted. To look cool. To be defiant. Other times, tattoos were more important. To have a sense of art on yourself that mattered more than anyone could understand. They covered up names of those we once loved. They covered up mistakes made. They covered up scars from old wounds that we didn’t want anyone else to know about. They kept memories alive and helped to heal a heart that refused to let go.
River eyed me and I stared him down. He and I had our tension, which was also pretty common with me and the rest of the guys. But with River, it was a little more intense. He and Lacey had a complicated relationship that finally took the spark they both deserved and exploded into something huge. During that time, Lacey took care of my mother as part of her job, until my mother passed. She helped me with my sister, who had long since taken off and we barely spoke. I said some shit and he said some shit and we worked our shit out, but there was still tension. I could never truly blame Lacey for what happened with my mother. It was her time to go. The truth was that there was more going on, hidden behind my mother’s death than met the eye.
Everything that had to do with… her.
“You make another one cry?” I asked, my attempt at breaking the tension, even though my voice was deep and serious.
“Yeah,” River said. “That’s exactly what I did.”
“I’m breaking your balls, man.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Her, uh, sister died. She had a bunch of tattoos. So she brought in pictures and wants me to do them all on her as a sleeve.”
“Wow,” I said. “That’s… wow.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool. I did the first piece today. We’re going to go slowly. One by one. Week by week.”
“She’s going to heal through that,” I said.
“Yeah. You never know what’s going to come through that door, I guess.”
“Never,” I said.
There was silence between us.
All around there was the faint echo of music from everyone’s space. A handful of people walking around the halls, looking at pictures of tattoos, celebrities, and some of the artwork we had hung up.
As far as I was concerned, nothing else mattered except the stare down with River.
“Hope everything else is good, man,” I said.
“Yeah. It’s great. Busy. That’s good. Good for everyone.”
I nodded.
The conversation was going nowhere.
Face it, I had my times when I’d come and go when I felt like it. If shit piled up too much, I told myself to step away. Staying would only result in everything exploding. Tate was probably the closest person I had at the shop to a best friend. When I had to leave, he understood. Business had been growing like crazy since Sawyer came back. We had a second building ready to be opened. Hell, I was making more money than I’d ever thought possible in this gig. From a kid that used to use an unsharpened pencil to this.
“I have to get going, Axel,” River said. “I have another appointment.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Have fun.”
As River walked away, Tate’s office door opened.
Sawyer came walking out first.
“Hey, Axel,” he said.
He rushed toward me, hand out.
We shook hands. We hugged.
Kate came out of the office next.
She looked ready to pop. She was beautifully pregnant and glowing, even though she looked uncomfortable. And as far as Sawyer went, he was all in on the Dad thing already.
Next to Kate was Jason. That was her nephew that she took care of. Funny story was that Jason was actually Tate’s son. That’s a
whole other mess in life that wasn’t my business. But everyone was happy and functioning.
Tate was the last person to leave the office, shutting the door behind him.
“Axel,” Tate said. “Was hoping to see you today.”
“Am I in trouble?” I asked.
“You’re always in trouble,” Sawyer said. “I’m going to take off. I’ll be back later.”
“Good to see you,” I said, raising an eyebrow.
Sawyer reached for Kate’s hand and took it.
“You ready for some food, big guy?” he asked Jason.
“Heck, yeah,” Jason said.
“Hey,” Tate said in a low, Dad voice. “Don’t say that.”
“Sorry, Dad,” Jason said.
“I’ll pick you up later,” Tate said.
“Pizza night?” Jason asked.
“Maybe.”
“Maybe is always a yes,” Sawyer said.
“Sawyer,” Kate snapped.
Tate started to laugh. “I guess pizza it is. Uncle Sawyer is buying.”
“Yes,” Jason yelled and he made a fist and pumped it into the air.
I watched the entire scene unfold in a manner that nobody would have guessed. See, on the outside, they all saw what I wanted them to see. Standing tall, black shirt, sleeves of ink down to my wrists. My jeans, black boots, black sunglasses, my lip always curled in a slow snarl as though I were a snake ready to attack at the first sign of life. My fists balled up tight. Standing like a monster. Which I was fine with. Looking the way I did kept most people away. If you came to talk to me, you’d better have a good damn reason.
But on the inside… it was all different. So very different compared to what I showed the world. The word destroyed came to mind, but I refused to play into that word.
Tate swung a fist and hit me on the arm. “Damn, brother, what a crazy ride this has been lately.”
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