by Pat Condell
I can understand why people are drawn to scripture and to religion, because it’s so easy and convenient. It’s all laid out for you. All the thinking you’ll ever need has already been done. You don’t have to lift a single braincell. Thatds so convenient it’s almost modern.
But what you’ve got to realise is believing a thing, no matter how strongly, doesn’t necessarily make it real. I mean you can also be hypnotised into believing you’re a chicken, but you can’t reasonably expect other people to share that belief, at least until they see a few eggs.
And that’s the bottom line here – evidence. If you show me a few eggs then I will believe that you are a chicken, or a Christian or a Muslim, or whatever the hell it is you think you are.
But until then, please don’t tell me not to mock your beliefs. That’s like telling me not to laugh at your toupee. It just makes the damn thing even more ridiculous.
Peace to everyone, and may you get all the respect that you deserve.
20.
God Bless Atheism
August 3, 2007
I live in a society where everyone’s beliefs are respected, as long as they believe in God.
But, despite that, there are still some good reasons to be an atheist. Personally, I like the hours – twenty-four seven. I find they suit me very well indeed.
People often ask me about being an atheist, and certain questions crop up all the time. For example: “How can you know good from evil without religion to guide you?”
Well, that’s just the point, isn’t it? Religion does guide me. Most of the things I see religion do I think are evil, and I find that’s a pretty useful benchmark. If religion’s involved, I know evil won’t be too far away.
Another question is: “Isn’t atheism itself really just another religion?”
Well, I suppose atheism is a religion in the same way that creationism is a science, or Islam is a religion of peace. In other words, when language no longer really means anything.
How can atheism be a religion? Who do we worship, and who’s going to kill us if we don’t?
Atheism doesn’t demand absolute unquestioning obedience, or make threats about eternal damnation, nor does it take childish offence over trifles.
It doesn’t protect sex offenders from justice, nor does it treat women like livestock.
In a way it’s a shame it’s not a religion, because we might get a few tax breaks out of it. But no, atheism doesn’t get any special privileges. There are no schools teaching atheism to children as a belief system, paid for with public money. Nor does atheism require anyone to tithe part of their income to keep a few cynical conmen in luxury.
So you see it doesn’t even begin to qualify as a religion worthy of the name.
No, to me atheism is just another word for reality. It simply means not seeing any need to apologise for being human, and to be quite happy to live tife I do have, and not wish it away on some celestial three card trick that tells me: “Heaven is right there waiting for you, and all you’ve got to do is die.”
That’s some price to pay for admission to a place which is likely to be full of clergymen and born again Christians, which I reckon makes it literally a fate worse than death.
“But surely people need religion to answer certain questions.”
Yes, questions like: How best can we stifle the human spirit? How much can we squeeze from the poor and gullible? And how many palaces can we live in at once without blushing? These questions religion answers very well indeed.
But unfortunately there are other questions to which it doesn’t have answers, so it makes them up. And this is where atheism comes in. Atheism says: “Hey, you just made that up.”
And religion says: “No, this is what we call theology.”
What’s the difference between a doctor of medicine and a doctor of theology? One prescribes drugs, and the other might as well be on drugs.
A theologian is somebody who is an expert in the unknowable, and has all the qualifications to prove it. Yes, a real specialist.
And this is why I think the question we should be asking is not whether atheism is a religion, but why theology is regarded as a branch of philosophy, and not as a creative art? Because it is very creative. You can dress your god up in whatever set of the king’s new clothes you like. And that must be great fun for all concerned, but personally I don’t see any more reason to teach it in universities than there is to teach astrology.
“OK, we get it, you don’t believe in God, but at least religious organisations do a lot of good work, especially in the third world. Surely you can’t knock that.”
So what are you telling me, if they weren’t religious they wouldn’t be doing this work? It’s not really coming from their hearts? They’re just doing it because they’re following orders? Is that what you’re saying?
I suppose if they were heathen atheists they wouldn’t have time to do it, because they’d be too busy debauching and indulging every wicked urge their fevered imaginations could dream up. Because that’s what we atheists do, of course, isn’t it? Our souls are corrupted and stained with sin because, well, it’s just a great lifestyle, frankly.
In fact, when I finish making this video I intend to spend the rest of the afternoon sinning, because I know I won’t be punished for it.
In fact I’m getting so excited about it I think I’ll stop right now. So peace to everyone, especially to all heretics, apostates and infidels.
21.
Islam in Europe
August 17, 2007
Recent events in Brussels have confirmed for us in Europe what we’ve long suspected, that we’re govern by unprincipled vote-whoring cultural apologists who can’t wait to dismantle our heritage in order to show how culturally sensitive they are, and who would be quite happy to see us all living under sharia law as long as it keeps them in office.
As a result, we’ve got a situation now in Europe – whether it’s halal meat for Danish schoolchildren, or German judges quoting sharia law, polygamy legalised in Germany now (for Muslim men only, of course), or an Italian court allowing a Muslim to brutally beat his daughter when anybody else would be imprisoned – Islamic values are now being imported wholesale into Europe and are being imposed on a population to whom they’re about as welcome as a melanoma.
No other religion gets these privileges, and some people in Europe are so angry about this creeping Islamisation of their culture that they’re starting to protest against it, when they’re allowed to.
Only on September 11th this year in Brussels they won’t be allowed to, because a peaceful demonstration intending to mark the anniversary with a minute’s silence outside the European parliament has been banned by the mayor of Brussels in case certain members of the religion of peace react violently.
After all, we wouldn’t want to offend people who were dancing in the streets on September 11th. That would be disrespectful.
And before somebody decides to call me racist or Islamophobic yet again, you can save your breath. Islamophobia is not the label of shame it might have been, had it been a more honest word. Thanks to radical Islam and its open hatred of everything we stand for, calling somebody in Europe Islamophobic is now more likely to be taken as a compliment than it is as an insult. And our politicians have only got themselves to blame for that, because what they need to realise is that we in Europe reject sharia totally – not because it’s different, but because it’s barbaric.
We once also employed mutilation and gruesome death in the name of religious justice. We called it the Inquisition. But then we came to our senses. Dare I say it, we became more civilised.
And before somebody reminds me that Islam preserved ancient scientific knowledge when Europe was still going through the Dark Ages, yes, that’s very commendable, but you get the impression that Islam wouldn’t do that now, because modern Islam, if you’ll pardon the expression, seems to be more about bulldozing ancient statues than preserving ancient texts, apart from its own ancient text, of co
urse.
And the results of that are there for all to see in any country where Islam has control; notably in the leading Sunni state, Saudi Arabia, and the leading Shia state, Iran. Both barbaric regimes with brutal Iron Age values. And we don’t want that in Europe any more.
I’m sorry to be so racist and Islamophobic and everything, but we’ve seen how every concession to Islam is the thin end of an even bigger wedge, and we don’t want religious police patrolling our streets, not anywhere, for anyone. We don’t want legalised rape, amputations, stoning, beheading, or any of the other niceties of Islamic jurisprudence, where a man’s word is worth twice that of a woman, as long as he doesn’t let on that he’s secretly gay, of course. That would be a fly in the ointment. And what a dilemma for the judge. He wouldn’t know who to stone to death first.
What I’d like to know from our European politicians if they can spare a couple of seconds to step down off the gravy train, is when will it be time to stop showing respect for Islam? Will it be when they take away your wine and your beer because they disapprove of it, would that do it for you? Or perhaps when your wife is beaten up for showing her face in public? Or maybe you’ll wait until your daughter is raped and then punished for it. Would you show less respect then, or would you continue to be culturally sensitive and suck it up like you’re sucking it up now?
Because, if that’s the case, then my advice to the future people of Europe is: Don’t be a woman. And don’t even think about being gay.
I wonder how long it will be before the first European is actually stoned to death for adultery. If that catches on there’ll be hardly anyone left in France.
Although that’s not strictly true, is it, because according to current birthrate projections, France will be a majority Muslim country anyway in about fifty years. But something tells me that nobody will be breaking out any champagne.
Our friends in America have their critics here in Europe, as we know, but I get a lot of e-mails from Americans who think that Europeans are spineless, and I think they’re right.
Yes, we confronted Hitler, but only after a lot of hand-wringing. We could see it coming a mile off, but we only acted when we no longer had any choice, and by then it was too late.
To make matters worse, most people living in Europe nowadays have never actually had to fight for the freedom they enjoy, and so I think we’ve forgotten its true value.
And this is precisely why our politicians feel that they can trade it away so cheaply for the sake of their own miserable careers.
So I say cultural sensitivity be damned. Some things are more important. Peaceful protest and free speech are not negotiable, and anyone who’s offended by that can damn well stay offended.
Personal faith should stay personal. It has no place in other people’s lives.
Centuries ago religion may have had a role to play in maintaining social order, but now it’s a threat to social order. It’s a threat to world peace, quite frankly, and I think its role should be seriously reassessed in all civilised countries.
We need to devalue faith as a currency, especially here in Europe, if we’re to survive. We need to put a stop to all religious appeasement.
So let’s prove the Americans wrong and show them that we do have a spine. We can set them an example of how to get the cancer of religion out of public life for good, because they could certainly use one.
Peace to everyone, especially to the mayor of Brussels and his Muslim constituents who keep him in office, for the time being.
22.
Unholy Scripture
August 31, 2007
Hi everyone. I’d like to say a couple of things here. Firstly, about my videos. I post them on various websites, and I appreciate all the comments and messages I get, but I could really do without seeing any more racist comments if you wouldn’t mind. I’m speaking here to the white racists, but this applies equally well to the brown ones. I don’t share your pathetic obnoxious views in any way imaginable, so if you really have to show the world what an intellectual insect you are please don’t do it here, because every time I see one of your comments it’s like stepping in dogshit, and I don’t want to have to follow you around with a pooper scooper, so if you could help me out and just put them somewhere else, preferably up your own fundament using the business end of a pineapple, I’d be much obliged.
And secondly, I’d like to say a few words about the Bible.
It seems to me that, because faith operates outside the bounds of reason, it feels entitled to claim knowledge from unreasonable sources, such as divine revelation, which is a fancy way of saying voices in the head, or dreams, or even drugs, if you read the Book of Revelation, which is an extraordinary account of a bad trip through the canyons of a frazzled mind.
It’s the last book in the Bible, and it was written by John of Patmos. And he was definitely on something, because the island of Patmos is notoriously abundant in psilocybin mushrooms, and you don’t need to ingest too many of them to start having rabid visions, maybe even scribble a book of wild ramblings and ravings while you’re at it. What could be more natural?
Although, reading Revelation, I don’t get the impression of anyone actually having written it so much as shouted it while hanging upside down by his ankle from a bell tower, or scrawling it in his own blood on the city walls.
It’s fair to say I’m not entirely convinced that this is the product of a healthy mind.
Of course I have to balance these doubts against the counter argument, which is: “But it’s in the Bible, so it must be true, because the Bible is the word of God, because it says it is, so it must be true because the Bible is the word of God…” etcetera, etcetera.
Clearly, for some people, God doesn’t move so much in mysterious ways, as in ever decreasing circles.
I wonder if he goes in the opposite direction in the southern hemisphere. Maybe somebody can write and let me know.
I find it quite ironic that some Christians would like to ban the Harry Potter books in case their children turn to witchcraft and away from Jesus, as opposed to turning to Christianity and even further away from Jesus, from what I’ve seen. Jesus Camp, anyone? I don’t know about you, but I smell sulphur.
But you know, I think once you start banning books, you really start banning civilisation. And that’s why I would never be in favour of banning the holy scriptures (which is a question I was asked recently) even though I think they do more harm than good.
I think the Bible, and the Koran for that matter, are very ambiguous books to quite a dangerous degree, because they both preach peace, as they often claim to do, yes, but they also preach violence. So really it depe what you’re actually looking for when you open the book, because that’s pretty much what you’re going to find.
And if you choose to read it literally, well then yes, you’ve got yourself a charter for barbarism. But if you approach it as the inspirational text it was doubtless meant to be, you can access a world of subtlety and wisdom.
But you have to actually want to do it, and unfortunately too many people prefer dogma to enlightenment. They’d rather use their holy books to reinforce their own narrow prejudices and then try to impose them on everybody else. Like cavemen using a flashlight as a hammer, they’ve missed the point completely. And for me this is the most depressing thing about the holy scriptures.
But, since we are using them to lay down rules of behaviour for other people, it’s clear to me from the New Testament that anyone who goes to church on Sunday is a blasphemer, because Jesus specifically said don’t pray in public, keep your religion to yourself, didn’t he? In the Sermon on the Mount, I think it was, Matthew 6, verses 5 and 6.
Don’t be like the hypocrites, he said, who pray in the synagogues and on street corners where they can be seen. No no, not you. You go into your closet and shut the door, and pray to God in secret, and God will hear you in secret and reward you openly.
That’s what he said. Keep your religion to yourself. It’s right there i
n black and white in the Queen’s English in the Holy Gospel. How much more true could it possibly be?
Clearly, therefore, every Christian church is nothing but a halfway house on the road to hell.
And don’t blame me. I didn’t say it. The Bible did.
Peace, and all that jazz.
23.
Video Response to Osama
September 11, 2007
Well, this week we’ve heard from the Antichrist in waiting, Osama bin Laden, who wants everyone in the West to convert to Islam to stop the war in Iraq. Well, that sounds very realistic, doesn’t it? I’m glad to see he hasn’t lost his mind sitting up there in his little cave.
Osama, if you’re watching, thanks for the offer, but no thanks. There’s no way that I could ever convert to Islam, for a number of reasons. Firstly, I like beer. Now I know that sounds very hedonistic and shallow, but, as you know, it’s part of my culture to be hedonistic and shallow. Also, in my culture right now it’s become very fashionable to respect everyone’s cultural values, no matter how crude or barbaric or downright ridiculous they might be, and this is something which you and your Islamist friends have capitalised on with great success in recent years.
And yet you still don’t seem to approve, and I find that disappointing. To you, western society, or the Zionist Crusader Alliance (let’s give it its official title) is still an abomination which must be destroyed. It’s decadent and immoral; there’s too much sex, too much music, too much laughter, there’s just too much fun, isn’t there, Osama? And you want to put a stop to i before you have a brain haemorrhage.
To you, western women are whores, because they show far too much flesh for your liking, and I bet that brings you out in a hot flush just thinking about it all the time.
In fact, that’s another reason that I couldn’t possibly convert to Islam. Anyone who seriously expects me to stand by while the women in my life are compelled to dress or behave in a way they consider inappropriate is, frankly, living in a fantasy world. But then we already knew that, didn’t we?