She pulled the sucker out of her cleavage with her mouth and then spit it out onto the floor. “You’re not using that on me.”
“Oh, but I am. You’ve had five orgasms—mind blowing ones at that—according to you. Well, honey, they weren’t anything compared to what I can do to you.” He licked his lips and set her down so she was sitting on the edge of the bed, legs spread wide.
He waited to see if she’d try to close them, but she didn’t.
“Color, Jeanie?”
“Red.”
“Why?” He waited. “Do you think I’ll hurt you?”
“N-no, I . . .”
“Are you afraid?” He stared in her eyes, looking for some reaction.
She huffed, “Because right now I don’t want to be here with you like this. An orgasm is the last thing I want. I’m tired, I’m frustrated and I feel sick to my stomach over what a massive disappointment I am to everyone in my life that matters. Including you.”
God, that stung. He flinched for a moment as his heart was dashed to pieces. “You are never a disappointment to me. You’re everything I’ve ever searched for and wanted.” He gripped her chin. “Are we clear?”
“But how? I’ve let you down repeatedly, and now the Finaus, too.”
“You did what you thought was best. We’re fixing a mistake—that’s all this is. No one’s going to abandon you over this—least of all me. I love you, Jeanie. You’re a bright, beautiful woman, and I love being in your life. That hasn’t changed.”
“Okay.” She sniffed, and her eyes were watery.
“Do you want to keep going? Or should we stop?”
“Green, Sir. Let’s finish.” She nodded with small head bobs.
“I love you. Just remember that. I don’t expect perfection. I only expect you to desire this—to want to make me happy because you love me, too.”
“I do. Your happiness means everything to me. That’s why this hurts so much. I let you down, and I hate myself for it.” Her fingers flexed.
He cupped her cheeks. “Listen to me now—you are not a failure.”
She blinked, and her lips parted.
“Repeat it. I want you to say it until you believe it. Tell me, ‘I am not a failure.’”
Her eyes scrunched up in pain and she whispered, “But I am.”
“You aren’t. Do I lie to you—ever?” His voice was firm.
“No, but I could see I hurt you by not telling Pono’s family.” She opened her eyes, shining with water in them.
“You were trying to protect them. I get that. You’re intentions were good, and I love you for that. We just needed to find a way to let them know, and I was willing to do that for you so you didn’t have to do something that I knew was going to be incredibly difficult for you. Do you see now why I told them?” His fingers caressed her cheeks, her jaw and even along her hairline.
“I think so.” She hiccuped, then sat motionless.
“Better? You believe me?” He leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth.
“Better. Green, Sir. Keep going.” Her eyes were filled with innocence and trust.
Goddammit, he loved her more than ever. His heart was pounding—swelling for her.
Her eyes followed him as he turned the magic wand on.
“You’re going to get those orgasms now. Tell me before we begin—does anything hurt?” His chest was aching. He didn’t want to do this to her right now, but if he was too soft on her, it wouldn’t help her. It would harm the relationship, and there would be problems later because he babied her.
She shook her head and whispered, “No.”
“Good. Then we keep going unless you decide to safeword.”
She exhaled a nasally, “I’m good.”
“Yes, you are. I know you are—such a good girl when you stop fighting me and listening to those voices in your head instead of me.” He paused and rolled his tongue over his bottom lip, the way she’d been taunting him with her sucker on her lips. “This is a back massager. No one uses it that way—it’s a joke, really.” He rolled it up and down her spine.
She relaxed into it.
“Feels good,” she said.
“Yes, it does.” He flipped the switch from the low setting to high.
He moved in front of her when she was nice and settled.
Her legs were still spread wide. He moved the vibration across her right calf.
When he glanced up at her face, her eyes were closed.
He pulled the spreader bar out from under the bed. In seconds, her ankles were bound and those legs wouldn’t be coming together anytime soon
Her eyes popped open. “What is this?”
“A lesson,” he answered.
He needed to get this going, though, before her arms went numb in that position behind her head.
Bzzzzzzz . . .
He dragged that vibrating head straight up to her clit.
“I’ll give you two orgasms, much stronger than the ones you got today at school. And when they’re over, we’re going to discuss how I’ll handle your family.”
“Are you serious?” she asked through her teeth.
He smiled. That was all the response she was going to get to that question.
“Sounds like three might be in order.” He rubbed her clit with the tip of the vibrating head the size of a tennis ball but shaped more like a large marshmallow. “You know, I’ve always loved how flexible this head is. It means I can put it inside your pussy, or inside your ass, and move it at an angle that’s comfortable for me. How about I fuck your ass with this thing? My cock’s not quite as big as this monster, but since you’ve been whoring yourself out to the boys and taking their shit up your ass already, I’m sure you can handle it. What do you say, little Miss?” He yanked on her left ponytail and kept moving the vibrator over her clit. “Wanna find out what truly dirty fucking is all about?”
She was probably in that slightly itchy, almost numb phase by now.
“No, thanks. I don’t do anal.” She turned her eyes to the wall.
“Fine. I’ll make that decision based on your performance with this toy. If you yell my name when you come, then I’ll consider keeping it out of your ass.”
She stood up, but had to keep her legs spread. He parted her cheeks, then moved the head of the massager to her puckered asshole to give her clit a moment to throb and swell.
She made a squealing noise when he bent over and slurped her clit into his mouth.
Her legs jolted when he let go with a pop.
He moved the wand back to her front, then kept that mushroom-headed wand on her clit.
“Hold out as long as you can,” he lilted. “Don’t you dare give in and actually enjoy what I’m doing to you. Makes you happier than you were before, right?”
He blew across her pussy.
She made this throaty, whimpering sound.
Without warning, and like a violent eruption, she squeaked and then bit off a scream when her orgasm hit her. Evidently it was unexpected, because she was breathless, her chest rolling with each heaving breath and her eyes wide and filled with shock.
“There you go . . . Knew you’d pick this right up. Two more,” he said, keeping it on her clit.
“Get it off me!”
“Oh, no, no.” He puckered his lips and shook his head. “That’s the point. That’s how this works. Hurts—doesn’t it?”
“Yes, it fucking hurts! Get that fucking thing off my clit!”
“Such language. Should I wash your mouth out with soap in addition to two more orgasms?”
She whimpered and gave him a hangdog expression. “Please, Mark. I don’t want to . . .”
“I know, sweetie, but you must. You can safeword if you need to.”
“But I . . . I can’t,” she whined, her voice faint, sounding exhausted.
“How about I release your arms, lay you down, and you can close your eyes. Zone out,” he suggested.
“No, nooooooo.” Her voice shook in time with her head.
<
br /> “Yes, sweet little thing, yes.”
“My body won’t do it again. It just hurts,” she said, her voice choking off at the end.
“It can. It will.” He stared in her eyes. “Want your hands free—yes or no?”
“I don’t care what you do,” she said, withdrawing from him again. Her bottom lip jutted out.
“So adorable when you pout.”
“Fuck adorable. You’re evil.” She took a stuttering breath, then shivered for a moment.
He stood up and turned the ceiling fan to low.
“I’m not cold, you fuckhead. I was fighting off something else,” she growled.
He chuckled.
“Then I’ll put it back on high.” He yanked the chain and then went back to assaulting her poor clit.
A few minutes of silence and she was shaking, biting her bottom lip with her eyes clenched closed. “You fucker.”
“I love you,” he responded. “This is for your own good.”
She exploded a beat later and cried as the orgasm wound down.
“I didn’t hear my name in there, but I think you’ve had enough.” He couldn’t take it when tears were streaming down her face and her chest was shaking.
He turned the magic wand off and rolled it under the bed.
Next, he undid her cuffs and then the spreader bar.
He told her to lie down, and she dropped like a weight onto the mattress.
When he went to massage some feeling back into her wrists, arms and shoulders, she jerked away from him and rolled into a ball on her left side, facing away from him.
Her back shook as she keened, barely making a sound.
He stroked her back from behind.
“It’s all going to be fine, Jeanie. They’ll understand. They love you and they want you to be happy. Eventually this would’ve happened anyway. If not with me, then with someone else.”
“Just stop talking,” she mewled.
“Okay, sweetie.” He snuggled in behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “But I will take care of his family once more. You don’t have to worry about them.”
“I want them in my life,” she said.
“But not me . . . ?”
There was no reply.
“Tomorrow, you’re going to spend the day with them without me.”
“But I . . .”
“I’ll arrange it. I’ll make sure you’re not uncomfortable or embarrassed when I drop you off before I go to work,” he said, hoping his heart would agree later. Right now, it was wringing itself like a sponge about to be used to mop up something disgusting—like this bullshit. But she had to see he did this for her—out of love and respect.
She didn’t want to admit it, but it was fine. Everything was changed, and for the better.
They had to work together on forging the kind of path they wanted, and he wanted this more than anything with her but knew she’d never give herself to him completely if she kept using the Finau family as a barrier.
He stroked her back once more through the silence.
She fell asleep a few minutes later, while he remained wide awake.
He removed her shoes, her stockings and released the clasp on her bra so it wouldn’t be too constrictive. At one point, he even managed to release her hair from the haphazard ponytails she’d created.
While she dozed, he gently massaged her ankles, her calves and her back.
When he got to her shoulders, she whimpered so he stopped.
“I love you, Jeanie. I’m sorry you don’t believe me, but it’s true,” he whispered, kissed her shoulder, then lay there, wishing she’d listen. “This will help us move on.”
* * *
Jeanie ate breakfast, still silent as ever.
“I know you said you’re leaving, and of course that’s your prerogative, but I want you to know, my mother’s excited about meeting you. She’s never met anyone that’s significant to me.”
Her mouth twitched, and she swallowed her food. She took a sip of her drink and then opened her mouth as if ready to speak, but refrained.
“I’d love it if you’d stay two more days. That’ll give you the weekend to say goodbye to the people you care about here before going back to Phoenix. I’m sure the Finaus will want to see you as much as possible, even though you’ll be there all day today.” His heart crashed and fell as he thought about her leaving.
“You told your mother I was coming?”
“I did. When I last talked to her, you didn’t think I was an asshole.” He nodded and put away the bread from breakfast. “She was so excited she got choked up over it.”
“Fine. I’ll think about it. Let me get through today, and then I’ll let you know.” She gulped like she was choking back tears. Her spine slouched as she got up, threw out half of her breakfast and put her dish in the dishwasher.
While Jeanie locked herself in her room, he placed a call to the Finaus.
“Hullo,” Toloa answered the call.
He was grateful she picked up the phone.
“Hi, Toloa, this is Mark—I want to apologize for that shock last night and hope you can forgive me for laying it on you like that. I only wanted to make sure everyone knew what was going on.” He grabbed his keys and waited in the living room for Jeanie to reemerge. “And honestly, it seemed the best way to go about it.”
“Is she okay?” Her rough, choppy breath pounded through the line.
Her concerned voice allowed him to breathe easier. He’d been right all along. They loved her—wouldn’t cut her off. It was her deception they were upset about.
“She’s struggling with what happened, but I told her I’d bring her to your place today so she could spend the day with you and your family while I’m at the office. I’ve gotta work late tonight anyway. I’ll be dropping her off in a half hour if that’s all right with you.” He glanced at Jeanie’s doorway again.
There was nothing but silence coming from that direction.
Every instinct in him said to go in there and check on her, but she’d already voiced her fears before about him breaking into her room when she needed space.
He swallowed down what amounted to an anvil as he waited and watched.
Had he broken her trust so completely she couldn’t bounce back?
God, his chest stung.
No. She was smart, she was strong—she’d see this was the right thing to do. After all, he loved the Finau family, too. He did it to help keep them in her life along with himself. How were they to exist as a couple any other way?
“That’s fine. I planned to be in the garden some today, but she doesn’t have to help me if she doesn’t want to,” Toloa replied.
“I’m sure she’d love to do that. She’s always eager to help her family out.” He smiled at the thought of family—their own. Jesus, he needed to keep from thinking about shit like that. Kids—a sensitive topic for Jeanie.
“Yes.” Toloa got choked up and coughed to clear the tarry, sticky emotions out of her throat. “She is very good at helping her family out. And we love her for that. She’s a sweet girl. Always has been.”
“I agree . . . Okay, so I’ll make sure she has some clothes she can work in, and we’ll see you in a little bit. Is there anything I can do so there are no hard feelings in your family toward Jeanie or me?”
“No. They’re fine. Only shocked . . . Marly told me after you left she was sorry she said those things. She likes you, and I think she already knew you were together. Only she didn’t want to admit it.”
“I can understand that.” He paused and looked up because Jeanie had her door opened, and she was standing inside it, staring at him. He smiled at her. She ducked her head and swallowed. No smile, but the frown was gone. “She’ll be there today. Thanks, Toloa. We’ll see you soon.” He ended the call after Toloa said goodbye.
His phone was slipped into his pocket, and he was approaching Jeanie with caution.
“They’re gonna let me come?” she asked, voice timid.
; “Yeah. You need to bring some clothes you can get dirty in though if you want to help her garden. That’s her plan for today.” He rested his hand on the door jamb.
Jeanie’s eyes went there immediately, and a look of longing overtook her.
“Come here,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness.
She flew at him, and he wrapped her up in his arms, then swayed with her. “It’s all okay. They’re not mad—only shocked.”
“They think I betrayed them. They have to be mad,” she corrected him.
He stroked her hair and didn’t bother to counter her statement. She’d see soon enough.
“Get what you need. We’re leaving in five minutes,” he told her.
“Everyone will be there?”
“Not Kueili. He’ll be at work, but you’ll see him at dinner. I’ll be working late. I’ll pick you up around seven,” he said, then let go of her.
She went into her room, and drawers were being opened and shut with speed and rough movements as things slammed around. He’d put all her clothes back last night while she was sleeping.
A few moments later, she was behind him at the door to the garage with a grocery bag filled with the clothes she needed.
He grabbed her laptop and carried it out with them as well in case she wanted to work from their place today.
Her breathing was shallow on the ride over, and instead of trying to quell her fears, he let her stew. Odds were she didn’t want to talk. He’d seen her like this before, and he knew when she was shutting down.
When they got to the Finau home, he got out, helped Jeanie from the car and stepped right inside their home.
The door was never locked, and he wanted to prove a point to Jeanie.
She gawked behind him at his rudeness.
“Hey, Toloa, we’re here,” he called out.
Toloa rushed out of the kitchen, flapped her way over to Jeanie and hugged her so tight about the shoulders, it looked like Jeanie might get whiplash at this awkward angle. Jeanie was stiff in her mother-in-law’s arms and was barely patting her back in return.
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