by Rob Mclean
As soon as he got off the phone, he sought out his brother. Jarred had overheard the call and had an expectant, but nervous and slightly worried look, as though he might have done something majorly wrong and incurred his brother’s wrath. It morphed into a smug look of triumph when John dour expression cracked into a grin.
“Thanks, bro’,” John said as they bumped fists.
“Hey, no problem,” Jarred said, immensely happy with himself. “I gotta get going. See you later at mom’s.”
John groaned. He had forgotten it was his step-father’s birthday. They were all under compunction from his mother to be there. He would much rather miss the whole thing, but his mother had made it clear he had to be there and besides, he consoled himself, Maddie would be hugely disappointed if he didn’t show.
Jarred had already left by the time John had overcome his paralysis and dragged himself out of the shower. Jarred had, with a large amount of help from John, upgraded his little motorbike to a beat-up, old Ford F100 pick-up. Hardly practical for L.A. traffic, but it was mechanically sound and more importantly, kept Josie’s hair in place and her clothes clean.
With Josie, Jarred had found new, untapped energies of the sort that motivated him to previously unexplored heights of personal hygiene and grooming. His happy enthusiasm with Josie had banished all the gloomy talk about alien technology making all human science redundant and his depression over his own lack of progress with the Human Consciousness Project.
While John was both happy and bemused about his little brother’s new romance, it never failed to remind him, on a daily basis of the hole in his own life.
During the day, when he wasn’t caught up in what he was doing, he found his thoughts went back to Angela. He kept going back over what had gone wrong. Was there something he could have said or done differently? Would it have made any difference anyway? They were so different in so many ways, but he had felt they had something, a connection, or a bond that should have bridged their differences.
Maybe he was deluding himself. Maybe Zeke’s mother had been right – maybe he had been simply used to get Zeke back. Those thoughts came freely and anger followed close behind. He tried to push them aside, but they didn’t leave.
While he could see Zeke doing something scheming like that, and being from the same gene pool, it was understandable that his mother would view things the same way. But he felt it wasn’t something Angela would do – at least he hoped so.
If he were to spend so much time feeling this bad about her, he sure hoped she was worth it. Something deep in his psyche, something intangible and intuitive told him that she was, but that only made him feel all the more depressed with her not being in his life.
On the way to his mother’s, John noticed many newly boarded-up churches, temples and other places of worship. Some had already been renovated for their new purposes. Most of them had been refurbished and turned into accommodation or shops, but there were a couple that had been dressed up as museums.
Many more however, had simply been vandalised. Broken stained-glass windows and abusive graffiti reflected the mood of the city. John hoped the burnt-out, derelict ones were more likely due to opportunistic real-estate developers rather than any real hostile intent, but he wouldn’t bet on it.
The eradication of the religious was happening much quicker than he had thought possible. If he were inclined to see things like Angela and her family, he could easily attribute it all to the supernatural work of the Alien AntiChrist. Jarred, on the other hand, had explained that the referendum had unleashed a perfect union of government, military and big business, all eager to appease the alien and access the technologies offered. They had tapped into and harnessed an underlying public fear of the future and a lack of belief in God, then yoked it to an economic golden future to motivate the people into a super effective witch-hunt, systematically eradicating every trace of the religious from the city.
The fact that the Chinese hadn’t been able to demonstrate that they could use the hover-disk given to them as a reward for their compliance hadn’t dampened the enthusiasm for the purges.
John knew it was only a matter of time before Angela’s little church was targeted for erasure. He found himself worrying and speculating about what she would do and where she and her family would go, even though he told himself, repeatedly, that it wasn’t his business anymore. But if she were to leave L.A., how would he ever get in touch with her again? What if something bad happened to her? He could image her being stridently and self-righteously stubborn in the face of some angry mob, clutching the gold crucifix that hung around her neck, while absolutely believing that God would protect her. She’d find out the hard way that God really wasn’t that interested.
The various ways Angela could come to grief, without him being around to look after her, ran through his mind all the way to his mother’s place. It was only when he turned off the engine and consciously put the morbid thoughts out of his mind, telling himself that there was nothing he could do about things and that whatever happened to Angela was up to God, the universe or whatever to look after her, that he began to feel any better. A small grin crossed his face at the irony. If she could see him now, she would definitely say that he was getting a bit religious himself.
‘She’ll be fine,’ his father’s voice whispered in his head.
“I hope to God you’re right,” John answered. Hope or prayer, he didn’t care what she’d call it, as long as it kept her safe when he couldn’t.
John let himself into his mother’s house, calling out as he made his way through a creaky flyscreen door and into a cluttered lounge room.
“Come in if you’re handsome,” his mother called from the kitchen.
“Already in,” John said as he strode into the kitchen and gave his mother a hug.
“But still as handsome as ever,” his mother said as she stood back to survey him. “Goddam, I did a good job when I made you.”
“Dad had nothing to do with it?”
“I think he might have put in maybe…” she squinted as she pretended to remember, “…five minutes work.”
“Five minutes to make a lifetime?”
“A lifetime of work for me, you mean,” she smiled. “Well, not you. I was thinking more of the other two.”
“Jarred’s okay. He’ll end up richer than the rest of us put together.”
“Ha, she waved a dismissive hand, then added, “Do you think that’s why the little senorita’s hooked up with him?”
“No. I know her. She’s for real. I’ve talked with her and she’s not fussed with his looks – or lack of them. She’s looking past that and sees more to him.” Again John felt Angela’s absence keenly - like a missing tooth or a landmark building that had been demolished. “He’s a lucky guy.”
Shelley nodded vigorously. “He sure is. I thought he’d be single forever.”
“So, be nice to her.” John jabbed a warning finger at his mother. “Okay?”
Shelley threw up her hands in mock surrender. “Okay already.”
“Besides, I don’t think there’s any actual ‘hooking’ going on.”
“Speaking of which, Jarred tells me Doris dumped you.”
“Doris?”
“You know, that Miss 1950’s virginity poster girl you brought over?”
“Angela, and she’s…”
“Real pretty, but no good if you can’t touch her.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”
“Okay, but don’t worry about her. There’s plenty of girls out there who’d wet themselves if you so much as looked at them.”
‘Don’t want them,’ John kept the thought to himself.
“Maybe Senorita Josie has a sister, si?”
“Are they here?” John asked, ignoring the bait.
His mother gave him a sympathetic frown, as though she could even begin to understand how he felt, and nodded towards the back patio.
“Don’t mope after her,” his mother called from be
hind, “you’re better off without her.”
‘Like you’re some great relationship expert,’ John clenched his jaw to keep the thought to himself.
He found Jarred and Josie outside with his step-father, David, by the barbeque. They all had their sunglasses on against the bright southern Californian autumn sun. He had no doubt though, that David was visually feasting on Josie’s fine form.
Josie looked as though she didn’t mind. Unlike Angela, she came from a big family and was probably used to dealing with leery second cousins and lecherous in-law uncles.
“Hey,” Jarred said by way of greeting. “Was going to call you, on account of the RNG reading we’re getting for L.A., but figured you needed yourself a nice long shower.”
“Ha,” John managed a weak grin. It was funny how being with Josie had now made Jarred confident enough to make jokes at his expense. He hoped it was out of some fraternal concern and he wasn’t turning into some sort of showy, cocky poser.
“L.A. you say? Because of the envoy’s visit soon?”
“Yeah, we thought that too, but the other cities he’s visited didn’t peak anywhere near as big as this. Something big is going down, just you watch.”
“Great,” said John, “as if I don’t have enough problems.”
“Hey boss.” Josie gave him a little wave.
“I wish you’d stop calling me that.”
“Yeah,” David added, raising his can of Sprite. “Got enough bosses around here.”
“Some people need bossin’” Jarred’s look wandered absently across the sky before zooming in directly to stare at David.
“How many you had?” John asked his brother. He had a quick look about for empty beer bottles, but found none.
“Only softies, I’m driving.”
Figured, John thought, if she was going out with him for his brains, then getting dribbling drunk wasn’t a good look and he’d be keeping sober. Maybe he was drunk on being with Josie?
“No Angela today?” Josie asked.
“Not today,” John answered.
“Not any day,” Jarred put in. “I told you, she dumped him.”
“Subtle as ever?” John fought back an urge to turn away and leave them to themselves.
“I’m so sorry,” Josie put her hand on his arm. “She was nice.” The sincerity in Josie’s voice put a lump in John’s throat.
“Yeah,” he said hoarsely, “thanks.”
“Yeah, shame,” said David. “She was totally…” a leery grin spread across his face, “…nice.”
“Too nice for me, or so it would seem.” John dug his hands deep into his pockets, resisting the urge to hit someone on their birthday.
Jarred shook his head. “She’s all but married to Jesus. You know it’d never work out with someone like you.” Jarred said it as though explaining some high school maths to one of his an undergraduate students. “You’re not a believer.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” John said, trying to minimise the conversation. Since when did he get to be an authority on relationships?
David turned the sausages on the barbeque. The sound of sizzling meat made John feel uneasy, reminding him why he was on leave, but he told himself it was just sausages. Still, he quickly looked away and wondered how he’d ever eat meat today.
“What’s so bad about being a believer?” Josie asked as she pulled the neckline of her t-shirt lower to reveal a small crucifix tattooed on her left breast.
“Let me get a good look at that.” David lurched forward. Both John and Jarred put out their hands to stop him.
“Hey, control yourself, Gringo.” Josie sounded more amused than offended as she covered herself up.
“Heh, heh, only joking,” David shrugged. “Can’t see much without my glasses.”
Jarred ignored him, instead turning to Josie “Didn’t know you had that.”
“You should try it with the light on next time,” David laughed at his own joke.
“Jesus is close to my heart,” she said without apology.
“Sure, but…”
“You know it’ll never work,” John clapped his hand on Jarred’s shoulder. “She’s practically married to Jesus, you know.” He gave Josie a smile and a wink.
“I had it done years ago,” Josie’s eyes slid lower, “after He helped me when I was younger.”
“But you’ll get it lasered off, won’t you?” Jarred sounded both worried and annoyed.
“Maybe,” Josie shrugged. “Maybe not.”
“You can’t keep it. Not these days. They’ll send you away.”
“So?” Josie gave him a playful smile. “You’ll come with me, won’t you?”
“I… but… I… uh…” Jarred stammered.
Josie rescued him with a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry. Anyone who gets close enough to see it would be close enough to look after me, right?”
“Well, I guess…” Jarred said.
“Then just wait ‘til you see my other ones,” she said with a cheeky grin that make Jarred’s cheeks glow.
“So you’ve got no plans to move?” John asked. “You have a church? Aren’t they shutting it down?”
“Yeah, it’s gone. They moved everyone out last week. It’s all boarded up now, but,” she shrugged again, “it doesn’t matter.”
“Doesn’t matter?” John couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After all the drama with Angela and her church, he found it hard to hear that it didn’t matter to Josie.
“No. You don’t need a church to be with God.” She put her hand on her chest. “Like I said He’s close to my heart. We can talk anytime.”
John nodded his agreement. He couldn’t see that Angela would see it the same way, but maybe it was worth a try?
At that moment the wind changed and the smell of the meat and sausages sizzling on the barbeque hit his nostrils. His stomach rumbled in anticipation of the food, but his mind reeled.
Instantly he was amidst the burning monks again. Their stoic silence deafening amid the roar of the flames and the hysterical wailing of the onlookers echoed in his ears.
“I can’t…” John turned and tried to wave away the savoury smoke, but he couldn’t rid himself of the smell of the cooking flesh.
“It ain’t that bad,” David said, holding up a blackened sausage that had burst through its skin.
John’s stomach lurched at the sight. He waved away David’s protests and half ran, half staggered in his haste to get away, back into the house.
He slammed the door behind him and leaned up against it, as though that would, in some way, keep the smell out of his mind.
“Whatever’s going on with you, Johnny?” his mother asked with genuine concern in her voice.
“It’s nothin’, just the smell,” he said waving his arm towards the meat cooking outside.
“Ahh, the barbeque…” his mother nodded, then frowned with understanding. “Jarred told me.”
“Yeah, it’s stupid, I know, but the smell…”
“Look, don’t worry ‘bout it,” She said, laying a hefty arm around his shoulder. “It’ll get better. It’ll just take time.”
John nodded and noticed that a wan, pale Maddie had emerged from her bedroom and was standing silently at the door to the hallway. How long she had been watching him with those wide, worried eyes, he couldn’t tell. Normally she came running to him, unable to restrain herself, but today…
He opened his arms and she shuffled over to him without a word. He shot a questioning look to his mother. Angela’s warning came back to him. Had Davidn hurt Maddie in any way?
“Don’t know what’s got into her,” Shelley shrugged. “Been actin’ mopey like that ever since she heard about Doris.”
John gave his mother a harsh glare while he hugged Maddie.
“Well, don’t look at me like that. She wasn’t like this after Nat.”
She was right. John had always thought Maddie had liked his previous girlfriend, Natalie, but after she died, Maddie hadn’t seemed affect
ed at all. He had barely noticed at the time, lost in his own grief, but later he had just put it down to her being a bit ‘special’.
“If you hadn’t taken her to church and all, getting her all involved,” his mother continued. “Don’t know what you were thinking…”
John ignored her and whispered to Maddie, “I’m sorry, Maddie.”
“I miss her,” Maddie said in a small voice, barely audible over her mother’s background grumblings.
“I know. So do I.” Maddie’s words made it easier to voice his own loss, but it didn’t ease the pain. He felt the hurt of rejection welling up inside him along with the misery of her absence. He clenched his jaw tight to swallow down his feelings.
“You’re sad too,” Maddie said simply.
“Yeah,” was all John could trust himself to say. He chided himself for feeling as desolate as he did. They had known each other for such a short time, it didn’t seem right to feel as down as he did. He couldn’t work out why, he just hugged Maddie tighter.
“Now look at you two sad sacks,” his mother declared. “If she means that much to you, there must be something you can do to get her back?”
John shook his head. It wasn’t as though he hadn’t wrestled with this problem before. It was just that they were too different.
“Not unless I do something radical, like become a Christian,” John said, “and even then…”
“Well, that would be stupid,” Shelley said emphatically, her giant arms wobbling as she fisted them onto her wide hips, “especially these days. You’d have to move away, and where’d that leave me?”
“It wouldn’t be so bad…”
Shelley groaned and spun away on a tortured, cracked heel. “Just like your father,” she muttered to herself.
“What did you say?”
Shelley turned back to face John, her faced creased as though in pain. “Your father was a fool Christian. Nothing else mattered to him.” Her face contorted with anger. “Just gettin’ right with God was all he cared ‘bout. Not you and not even me.”
“He was a Christian?” John echoed.
‘Sure is,’ his father’s voice whispered in his head.
“Fat lot of good it did him though,” his mother went on in a calmer voice that was underpinned with anger. “He’s dead to us now, so don’t you go getting any stupid ideas. You hear me, Johnny?”